Just out of curiosity... What disastrous things happened with the Facebook groups?
With Sarah and mine we had a male as part of the group and people found that creepy. He created a separate group and called it parents instead of moms. That didn't go over well and a lot of the moms tried to force him out. Then when he didn't leave the admins kicked him out. There was nothing weird about this guy other than he's a very involved father, I'm still friends with him to this day.
We had two groups and some of the moms would go into the parents group to create drama. If someone said something one of the Admins didn't like in the moms group they got kicked out. I ended up leaving the moms group and joined the parents one.
Then it was brought to the admins in the parenting group that a third secret group had been formed with the purpose of making fun of members in both groups. Photos were shared. Screen shots of conversations were shared. Someone in that 3rd group started feeling guilty and blew the whistle.
Post by bibliothecary on Sept 18, 2015 15:06:28 GMT -5
IME, Facebook can be disastrous. People can creep and learn too much about you. It also tends to become cliquey. I don't oppose the idea, but rarely have I seen it work out well. If you guys want a private board, just lmk when you decide.
Post by bcmomsaysso on Sept 18, 2015 15:08:27 GMT -5
I'm one of those who takes breaks from time to time. I don't mind being fb friends with you ladies, I just can't promise I'd be super active on another board. I have trouble keeping up with this one sometimes ha
Whaaaaat??? Wow that's so extreme. I can't believe that happened to you. I have no problem at all just keeping things the way they are. We wouldn't have to worry at all about things like that.
It's a really long story, but basically the people that did it were scamming a large group of gamer types, and my husband and I called them out, and others continued to do so after we did (they assumed that it was us continuing). So they got together and thought it would be perfect to harass me. Since it had ZERO to do with my job, my work protected me, but the cops did jack shit. They said "just don't engage them, they will stop", so I had to beg our friends to stop revealing their lies/scam, so that they would leave ME alone. It was a big ol' mess.
But it goes to the idea that there are definitely crazies out there. And while I love y'all, and many of you I would be ok with on FB knowing you are regulars and not psycho peoples, I too would worry some about those who haven't participated as much etc/lurker types. And it's completely because of my own paranoia, not that anyone in particular is a bad person at all.
I totally understand you being paranoid- heck that makes me paranoid!
Just out of curiosity... What disastrous things happened with the Facebook groups?
With Sarah and mine we had a male as part of the group and people found that creepy. He created a separate group and called it parents instead of moms. That didn't go over well and a lot of the moms tried to force him out. Then when he didn't leave the admins kicked him out. There was nothing weird about this guy other than he's a very involved father, I'm still friends with him to this day.
We had two groups and some of the moms would go into the parents group to create drama. If someone said something one of the Admins didn't like in the moms group they got kicked out. I ended up leaving the moms group and joined the parents one.
Then it was brought to the admins in the parenting group that a third secret group had been formed with the purpose of making fun of members in both groups. Photos were shared. Screen shots of conversations were shared. Someone in that 3rd group started feeling guilty and blew the whistle.
Oh wow. That is so much drama! Y'all weren't kidding.
Post by motownthrowdown on Sept 18, 2015 15:10:27 GMT -5
Holy crap, that is some messed up stuff!
I'm leaning toward leaving everything here, maybe with a private board for established regulars. Although I don't really know what we would talk about there lol.
My bmb Facebook group has been great for almost 4 years, but it was started as a private group with some specific rules and the administrators have been impartial and stuck to the rules. There have been a few bumps, but most of the time everyone is cordial and I really value the friendships. I have friended a lot of people from the group over time, but there are some I am not personal friends with, and that is fine. I have met irl with quite a few.
I'm leaning toward leaving everything here, maybe with a private board for established regulars. Although I don't really know what we would talk about there lol.
I think we would need to be careful with "established regulars" in that, who decides who is established enough to join? That's my only real concern with a separate exclusive section.
That said, if our BMB gets merged into 2015 or something like that, I would 100% be in for a separate exclusive home for us all.
We've had some weird things on my FB group for DD1 (none for DS). It eventually split into two groups as well. We had one lady who apparently faked her pregnancy (then claimed she miscarried but thought the doctors might have been wrong) and then we found out she'd done it before. We had another one where one of the really young moms in our group (she was 19), copied posts of what one of the other members said about her boss (just venting in the group) and somehow figured out where she worked and sent them to her boss.
Most FB groups I'm in have not been like that though. And I think since we do have so few members (not over 300 like on TD) that there wouldn't be so much drama. FB is more convenient I think, plus you can just post little updates or vents or whatever without making a whole post about it.
My bmb Facebook group has been great for almost 4 years, but it was started as a private group with some specific rules and the administrators have been impartial and stuck to the rules. There have been a few bumps, but most of the time everyone is cordial and I really value the friendships. I have friended a lot of people from the group over time, but there are some I am not personal friends with, and that is fine. I have met irl with quite a few.
This is really how my experience has been once the dust settled
Post by blakely24 on Sept 18, 2015 15:21:23 GMT -5
Speaking of crazies, my last BMB never made a Facebook group (or I had stopped posting by then), but we did have a girl who was with us from the beginning and FAKED everything. Claimed she had twins, told their whole NICU story, up until one of them died. And it was all fake. Her story went on for months until close to the end when someone called her out on everything because of a discrepancy in some pictures she posted. It was the most bizarre thing I've ever been a part of. Doesn't necessarily relate to what we're taking about now, but I had forgotten about it until I started reading these crazy stories. You just never know with some people- even the "regulars."
I'm leaning toward leaving everything here, maybe with a private board for established regulars. Although I don't really know what we would talk about there lol.
I think we would need to be careful with "established regulars" in that, who decides who is established enough to join? That's my only real concern with a separate exclusive section.
That said, if our BMB gets merged into 2015 or something like that, I would 100% be in for a separate exclusive home for us all.
Yeah, I don't know how we would decide. If you let in everyone, what's the point? If you are too picky, what's the point?
Are they really planning to merge us into a yearly bmb??
Speaking of crazies, my last BMB never made a Facebook group (or I had stopped posting by then), but we did have a girl who was with us from the beginning and FAKED everything. Claimed she had twins, told their whole NICU story, up until one of them died. And it was all fake. Her story went on for months until close to the end when someone called her out on everything because of a discrepancy in some pictures she posted. It was the most bizarre thing I've ever been a part of. Doesn't necessarily relate to what we're taking about now, but I had forgotten about it until I started reading these crazy stories. You just never know with some people- even the "regulars."
Speaking of crazies, my last BMB never made a Facebook group (or I had stopped posting by then), but we did have a girl who was with us from the beginning and FAKED everything. Claimed she had twins, told their whole NICU story, up until one of them died. And it was all fake. Her story went on for months until close to the end when someone called her out on everything because of a discrepancy in some pictures she posted. It was the most bizarre thing I've ever been a part of. Doesn't necessarily relate to what we're taking about now, but I had forgotten about it until I started reading these crazy stories. You just never know with some people- even the "regulars."
Wait...when was your dd born? Was this may13? The Erica scandal?
Speaking of crazies, my last BMB never made a Facebook group (or I had stopped posting by then), but we did have a girl who was with us from the beginning and FAKED everything. Claimed she had twins, told their whole NICU story, up until one of them died. And it was all fake. Her story went on for months until close to the end when someone called her out on everything because of a discrepancy in some pictures she posted. It was the most bizarre thing I've ever been a part of. Doesn't necessarily relate to what we're taking about now, but I had forgotten about it until I started reading these crazy stories. You just never know with some people- even the "regulars."
Wait...when was your dd born? Was this may13? The Erica scandal?
I am team stay here unless we are merged. There are too many crazies in the world. I even think a private group on here might not be the best because then it has to be decided who all is included in it. I know I don't post a ton, but I am here regularly. I don't know that I would qualify as a regular enough poster to be included, and I would be bummed to miss out on all the great conversations and advice.
I'd love a private Facebook group. I am not comfortable yet with just adding friends to facebook. I know of some crazy stuff happening in groups, and since we have all only known each other as screen names for now, it would be a good step to interact in a more personal, but still safe way imo.
Agree. My last BMB went to private FB group and I like that system - I get notifications if someone posts and I know not everyone on my list will see what we're talking about. I actually don't post much to FB outside the group, so I'm more comfortable with a group than just being FB friends. I also think that ensured that everyone can participate in the conversation who wants to.
Also happy to keep the group going here. I think we have a great group!
Speaking of crazies, my last BMB never made a Facebook group (or I had stopped posting by then), but we did have a girl who was with us from the beginning and FAKED everything. Claimed she had twins, told their whole NICU story, up until one of them died. And it was all fake. Her story went on for months until close to the end when someone called her out on everything because of a discrepancy in some pictures she posted. It was the most bizarre thing I've ever been a part of. Doesn't necessarily relate to what we're taking about now, but I had forgotten about it until I started reading these crazy stories. You just never know with some people- even the "regulars."
Wait...when was your dd born? Was this may13? The Erica scandal?
YES!!! DD was born April 22 but I was due May 1! Were you there???
Re: private board - how would you decide who gets the password. There's still a lot of lurkers or people like myself who participate but maybe not enough to be immediately recognizable. If you post the password, that defeats the purpose of a private board.
Post by bcmomsaysso on Sept 18, 2015 16:49:26 GMT -5
All the people who said they don't post enough to be recognized, I recognized lol
Eta. I'm fine the way it is now or adding a new group, just pointing it out because I thought it was funny since I thought the same thing about myself haha
I haven't been active since our little guy was born, so hopefully I am not just a creeper coming in here! I am in a FB group with my DS1's BMB. They are an amazing support group. We had some drama, a group split off, and now it's mostly butterflies and rainbows. I like the FB platform much better and would definitely be more active on there. However, my name is common enough that it'd be really hard to stalk me on the interwebs.
I am team stay here unless we are merged. There are too many crazies in the world. I even think a private group on here might not be the best because then it has to be decided who all is included in it. I know I don't post a ton, but I am here regularly. I don't know that I would qualify as a regular enough poster to be included, and I would be bummed to miss out on all the great conversations and advice.
+1 to not knowing if I'd make the cut. Still ok with private fb group friends though.
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