TFAS check-in

[housecarder]

Sept 30, 2015 10:58:04 GMT -5 sammysam said:

@twobananas Thank you for the insight! I was hoping that a 2nd time + mom might chime in. What is the age difference between you LOs if you don't mind my asking? What did you find was the biggest adjustment when #2 came along? I would love to hear anything you would like to share about your experiences with 2.

DD was about the same age as your LO when I found out I was pregnant with DS. My biggest issue was logistics of trying to care for two while recovering from a c-section. I was separated from my XH before #2 was born so that made it harder. I kept a drawer in the kitchen of easy snacks (granola bars, animal crackers, fruit snack) and juice boxes and small water bottles along with fresh fruit in the fridge for when DD wanted a snack and I had my hands full I would tell her to go pick something. She loved being more independent and helping with her brother, she helped change and feed him all the time. We had a rough patch about 8 months ago when DS decided that he has his own opinions and DD can't just make the rules up when they play, but they seem to have smoothed over that. Things are always easier when they are both home. You will fall into a new routine pretty quickly and you won't be able to imagine life with just one anymore.

[flojo973]

I'm so sorry for your loss littlelion. Big hugs.

Age of LO(s): 16 months

Cycle/Month: 2

Cycle Day: 28/7

Circumstances (if any special): None

R/R/CS: Trying not to get my hopes up during this 2ww

GTKY- What is LO going to be for Halloween? A lamb if I ever get around to ordering her costume!

jubilantsquirrel is your DS making sounds but not words? I'm wondering what is considered "not talking". DD is 16 months and not saying any actual words.

ETA:  I'm not a noob anymore - woot woot!!

[sammysam]

housecarder DD was an emergency c-section so if we have another LO he/she will also be a c-section so thank you so much for commenting on this. I was wondering what recovery would be like with a baby and toddler. The idea about the snacks is great and I'll be sure to use it! SO works crazy hours so it will be just me and the little ones most of the time and hearing from someone who was able to manage 2 on their own gives me more confidence. Right now I am worried about the logistics too...car seat placement, store outings, DD's dance classes and swimming, the park...and sleeping. I bed share with DD in her room and I don't want to give that up yet...so I'm also thinking of how sharing a room with DD and a baby would work...any experience with this?

[twobananas]

Sept 30, 2015 10:58:04 GMT -5 sammysam said:

@twobananas Thank you for the insight! I was hoping that a 2nd time + mom might chime in. What is the age difference between you LOs if you don't mind my asking? What did you find was the biggest adjustment when #2 came along? I would love to hear anything you would like to share about your experiences with 2.

sammysam, my kids are 21 months apart. Honestly the biggest change for me was the amount of stuff we had to take everywhere. I felt like any trip we did we had to take 10x as much. It's getting better now that my youngest is no longer drinking bottles. I had a c-section with my first but was lucky to have a successful VBAC the second time around. I also work so the kids go to school during the day, which limits the craziness! When my second was really young, I would put her in a carrier and that helped a lot, allowing me to move around the house. I also found mentally, things were so much easier with my 2nd. I know that's not always the case, but there was a lot less second guessing and more confidence which really helped put everything in perspective and made things not seem so hard. And having to split my focus also made things a lot easier in a sense. Like when they were both freaking out and crying and I literally couldn't do anything, I would just laugh (I know, it makes me sound crazy!) and just do the best I could. With my first, I felt like I had to do everything all the time and be the best at it, once my second came around it was easier to realize I was trying the best I could and that's all I could do. Ok, rambling over! Let me know if you have any other questions!

[Deleted]

littlelion, ugh sorry for your loss hun, bitter sweet seeing a familiar may15 face here. Lots of hugs.

Age of LO(s): Just turned 2

Cycle/Month: Im still currently still bleeding from a MC.

Cycle Day:

Circumstances (if any special): 2 losses this year, OB isn't feeling the need to do any testing but gave me an rx for progesterone to start as soon as I get another bfp, encouraged to wait 2 cycles to try again. My crazy googling shows I have most symptoms of low progesterone though (night sweats, labile mood, acne, sugar cravings, night low libido and vaginal dryness, polycystic ovaries, fibrocystic breast lumps - ive had one lump appear every time i've been pregnant) exhaustion - literally i need ten or more hours or sleep a day.) I know all these symptoms could be of other things but Im desperate to try anything.

R/R/CS: DD has mentioned "baby in belly" once since my MC and it's absolutely crushing me. It's been a few days so Im hoping she forgets soon.

GTKY- What is LO going to be for Halloween? Not sure yet, off to pinterest I go!

[housecarder]

Sept 30, 2015 15:17:02 GMT -5 sammysam said:

housecarder DD was an emergency c-section so if we have another LO he/she will also be a c-section so thank you so much for commenting on this. I was wondering what recovery would be like with a baby and toddler. The idea about the snacks is great and I'll be sure to use it! SO works crazy hours so it will be just me and the little ones most of the time and hearing from someone who was able to manage 2 on their own gives me more confidence. Right now I am worried about the logistics too...car seat placement, store outings, DD's dance classes and swimming, the park...and sleeping. I bed share with DD in her room and I don't want to give that up yet...so I'm also thinking of how sharing a room with DD and a baby would work...any experience with this?

Both mine were c-sections as well, and trust me, the scheduled c-section was heaven compared to my emergency one. I kept the boppy on my lap a lot as a barrier from toddler kicks to the stomach during recovery.
I had a sit and stand stroller which was great for my curious toddler, I didn't have to lift her in and out of the stroller that way. As far as recovery and lifting, you can always leave the pumpkin/infant seat in the car and unstrap baby to just carry them while in the 6 week weight restriction. I'd also start transitioning your daughter to walking more than being carried when you find out you are expecting. It really helps in later months and after if she's used to walking.
When I found out I was expecting we made a big deal about buying a big girl bed and letting her pick out her bedding and decorate her room. She transitioned really easily, although she never bed shared, just slept in our room in her crib. DS started sleeping with us when we moved to the new house and storms rattled his upstairs window. Getting him to sleep in his own room again will be a challenge after two years with us. We are considering getting bunk beds and letting them share a room to help with this.

[penguin129]

Thanks ladies with more than 1 kiddo for sharing your stories. DD was a c-section and LO 2 will be as well. We have stairs so I'm not sure how much that we complicate things. DD also bed shares with us. The new LO will be in a rock and play in the same room.

[sammysam]

housecarder @twobananas Thank you so much for the responses and for sharing. It makes it easier to imagine life with 2. It's great to hear your experiences and to see the things I might be able to do. I used the ergo with DD all the time and will likely try this again. I have to look into a sit and stand stroller. I saw a mom with one at the mall the other day and was wondering if it was good. I also gave a boppy I didn't use the first time so I will definitely be using this as a barrier! DD is still nursing and I don't want to wean until she's ready so BFing while pregnant might be a bit of a challenge...I also like hearing that it is mentally easier with two. I found it hard the first time around and had hoped it might be easier with a second. If there is anything else either of you can think of that you wish you'd known before having a second, or any other tips you want to share, I am all ears. Seriously! And thank you again!

[sammysam]

penguin129 our plan is to have both LOs in the same room too. Do you think you'll bed share with both at some point? I didn't start bed sharing with DD until she was 6 months old...so I am hoping to keep a new baby in the crib for as long as possible. Also, do you worry about baby affecting your LO's sleep or is your LO a good sleeper? I wonder how much a crying baby with affect my LO's sleep. Especially since my she is still not the greatest sleeper. I feel like if I'm thinking about these things and planning it will make the time go faster while WTDS.

[penguin129]

Oct 1, 2015 16:58:10 GMT -5 sammysam said:

penguin129 our plan is to have both LOs in the same room too. Do you think you'll bed share with both at some point? I didn't start bed sharing with DD until she was 6 months old...so I am hoping to keep a new baby in the crib for as long as possible. Also, do you worry about baby affecting your LO's sleep or is your LO a good sleeper? I wonder how much a crying baby with affect my LO's sleep. Especially since my she is still not the greatest sleeper. I feel like if I'm thinking about these things and planning it will make the time go faster while WTDS.

We just started bed sharing right after DD turned 2. I was desperate for a good night's sleep that wasn't on the floor. We did
Cosleep a bit from 9 months to a year. We stopped because H had a scare of almost rolling on her. I plan to use the rnp then crib and maybe wait until the next LO is a year to bedshare if needed. I'm hoping by then DD will be sleeping in her own room. She'd be closer to 4 1/2 by then if my math is right. Guessing of course.