Dear DH, I really appreciate that you appreciate me and acknowledge that I am the one who keeps the house clean and running smoothly, while still taking care of 2 kids and working full time. When you acknowledge that, it does make me feel better. But, for the love of God, can you just help sometimes instead?! I'd appreciate you loading the dishwasher without me asking, or folding a basket of laundry a lot more than your sappy thanks messages. Signed, I didn't get 2 snow days this week
Dear Universe, Please stop foiling our child free weekend plans! This is the second time we've gotten our hopes up, only to have some other circumstances prevent us from being kid free. I really, really need the break. Can you just help me out here? Signed, Tired momma
Post by RiseAndWine on Jan 28, 2015 9:28:39 GMT -5
Dear staff member, Please stop procrastinating over every little thing and passive-aggressively rebelling by taking your sweet-ass time performing routine reports and job duties. I'm sorry you're bored with your job. You are a slacker and not going to get promoted to the position you want because you won't do what we freaking ask on time and without us following up a hundred times.
Pissed that I have to ride your ass, Your boss who hates micromanaging
Dear DS, You are incredibly sweet this week. I am loving the language and comprehension explosion. Keep up the great toddler work! Love, Mama
Dear DH, Meh. Also, cheer up! Life is good right now.
Love, I miss sex, intimacy and being happy with the little things in life.
Dear Girl Scouts, I hate your effing cookies for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to being totally over selling them and the three pounds I have gained due to the irresistible goodness of Samoas.
Dear DH, I cannot tell you how excited I am that we are going to take the kids on a vacation with points instead of trying to coerce people into caring for the kids so we can go to Europe alone. Long kid free trips are just not worth it when we don't have people ready to take on the kids. Look at points vs. Hawaii TODAY please.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Jan 28, 2015 10:29:18 GMT -5
Dear car, I hate you. Regards, Angry lady stuck At discount tire
Dear ds, Please warm up to your new preschool class soon. You are so pathetic and sad when you are missing your toddler class teachers, friends, and toys. I know change sucks. I know. Love, Your loving mom who is trying to be your rock while wanting to cry for you
Dear dd, Can you fast forward to having your torticollis resolve. Increasing therapy to twice a week is killing our schedule. Love, Your mom who is ashamed to admit that your health problems are inconvenient. But they are.
Dear dh, Thank you for trying to get ds to give me the bracelet he made in class. To bad he gave it away by telling me "look what I made for daddy mom!" Love, Your loving wife who knows she's not the preferred parent.
Your temperature this morning was dangerously close to the daycare threshold. I hope you aren't getting sick and please please please do your best not to be sent home today.
Post by queenbabee on Jan 28, 2015 10:37:55 GMT -5
Dear DH, Yes, I do appreciate you taking over night wake up duty to let me sleep. No, I do not want you to wake me up with updates every time you get up for LO . This completely defeats the purpose. Love you, Your tired as hell DW.
What was with the attitude and poor listening this morning? I really missed my cooperative and helpful big girl this morning. I hope you can turn things around tomorrow. I hate starting the morning this way.
Love, Mom
Dear DD2, I am super sorry that you fell outside at school and have "road rash" down the side of your nose. It looks really painful and I wish there was more I could do for it.
Dear kids: For the love of all that is holy, please stop getting sick. I'm not sure either of you remembers what it's like to breathe through your nose. And please stop acting like I'm torturing you when I suck the snot out of your nose. I hate it as much as you do. Love, Mommy who cannot wait until you can blow your own daggum noses
Dear Boss: Yes, I'm excited about this new opportunity, but seriously, how are going going to deal with the asshat who refuses to do anything administrative who will be taking over supervising my rock star employees? If I combine our jobs after he finally retires, I don't want a slate of imbeciles because everyone worth a damn leaves so they don't have to work with the sloth. Sincerely, I Take Care of My People. You Should, Too.
Dear DD2 Please please please stop taking 1.5 hrs to get dressed, eat and brush your teeth/hair. You get so distracted and then I am late for work. I still love you! Love, tired of nagging mommy
Dear DH Please learn to fold sheets. This is where your mother failed. Ugh - I should not have to re fold them or have to help you. Love, this is a huge pet peeve of mine wifey
Dear DH Please learn to fold sheets. This is where your mother failed. Ugh - I should not have to re fold them or have to help you. Love, this is a huge pet peeve of mine wifey
This made me laugh, because I'm TERRIBLE at folding sheets. I've even tried to google how to properly fold a fitted sheet, and they still end up just sort of balled up and stuffed into the linen closet.
Post by somebabiesmom on Jan 28, 2015 11:44:48 GMT -5
Dear coffee,
My best cup is at work. DD? Tim Horton's? $25 Black and Decker? You are so inadequate. Let's see less disparity between the classes, b/c it's wrong to be this happy to go back to work at 4:30 a.m. every day.
Post by somebabiesmom on Jan 28, 2015 11:53:37 GMT -5
Dear bad me,
I get that you're in a slump at work, but if you don't do something - you're going to hate yourself. And - by default - I will hate myself. Imagine the rewards of getting something done *early*! Will anyone notice? No. But you will. And so will I.
Dear Weather I want either sun or rain enough of the fog. It doesn't do anyone any good to be stuck in dense fog for days in a row. My happy light wasn't even helping my mood yesterday. Thanks for the sun at the moment
Dear DD Please be in a better mood tonight. I get you are tired by the time I pick you up but melting into a puddle of tired teary mush as soon as we walk in the door has to stop. Plus next week daddy will have to start picking you up and it will break mommy's heart if you are in bed before I get home from work all because you were a tired teary mush and daddy had enough. Please take a rest today Mama
Dear Dog Stop stealing the bedcovers at night. (She sleeps on the floor but shifts the covers off the bed so she has a soft spot to sleep) I'm tired of having to fix the bedding at 2am! Tired Dog Mama
DH Thank you for stepping up and fixing dinner this week so far. This makes me much more comfortable knowing that DD won't starve next few weeks. Signed Tax Season wife
Post by penguino11 on Jan 28, 2015 12:39:28 GMT -5
Dear daycare, You are a necessary evil. Can we try to keep my child from being sick for like two weeks? Please and thanks.
Dear "support staff" You are supposed to support what I do. I don't need you giving me attitude about you having to reschedule my appointments. Please don't tell me my child is just teething when he clearly has an upper respiratory infection and a fever of over 101. I could count the times I've called in on one hand in the three years I've been worked at this agency. Just stop. Sincerely, I dont have time for you
Dear DH Please learn to fold sheets. This is where your mother failed. Ugh - I should not have to re fold them or have to help you. Love, this is a huge pet peeve of mine wifey
This made me laugh, because I'm TERRIBLE at folding sheets. I've even tried to google how to properly fold a fitted sheet, and they still end up just sort of balled up and stuffed into the linen closet.
I hate folding sheets and simply can't fold fitted sheets. I think my DH feels the same way about me as you do about your DH.
I realize that I often go above and beyond to help you manage your college course, but the fact that you forgot to buy your textbook and now have homework due from said book is not my problem. Also, catching an attitude with me because I am not at your beck and call...not helping your case.
Please for the love of all that's warm and cozy, sleep! I had gotten used to one or two wakeups a night. Mama is tired.
Love, Your sleepwalking parent
Dear dog,
Stop stealing my spot while I'm up with DD2.
Sincerely, Displaced by the fur ball
My dog is forever doing this! I love her to death but jeez! She's as big as I am & questionably as stubborn lol. She's a chocolate lab. What kind is your spot stealer?
I passive aggressively shove the sheets (clean) onto the counter in the laundry room. DH (rightfully, because he is the one who cares what the maid think about our collective ability to fold sheets) folds them and then lets me know it is done.
Last time he let me know he completed this task I gave him one of DS's potty training reward stickers. He was not thrilled, surprisingly.
Start acting like autonomous beings instead of helpless newborns. We're about to get one of those any minute now and I don't want this place to go to hell because the two step process of making yourself a bowl of cereal is just too daunting at the age of 15. (I'm not even getting into the housekeeping issues. Just for the love of all that is good and holy, figure out how to feed yourselves! And maybe look at the map over the sink. It shows the location of the dishwasher.)
Dear Friends, It was really fun to play in the snow with you this weekend, but did ALL of your kids have to be sick? Now my poor LO has a runny nose and the most pathetic cough ever! I want my healthy, sleeping baby back. Love, Your friend that was just holding on to sanity before
Post by toratoratori on Jan 28, 2015 16:55:36 GMT -5
Dear daycare:
How can you give me less than a week to complete an extremely lengthy application for the 2015-2016 year? Don't you know that I have a job? AND A CHILD? And therefore, no free time?! WTAF!
I have another.... Dear Clients Stop yelling at me for asking questions and requesting documentation. The ACA is new so of course I'm asking for different stuff than years before. Signed It isn't even February yet
Post by alioop1028 on Jan 28, 2015 17:39:01 GMT -5
Dear Amazon,
Please stop stealing my money. I just joined Prime and had no idea how attractive and addicting free 2 day shipping is. Also DH is weirdly obsessed with Teen Moms since you also gave us more shows to watch that I don't have time for. You're ruining my life!
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