My fffc is that I like how E has changed the dynamic between me & my mil. Before it was like I was constantly auditioning for her approval. Now I have something she actually cares about and I don't really give a shit what she thinks about me. She can't be rude anymore if she wants to see baby and that makes me feel like we're more equal. It's not just me trying to make nice.
I totally get this. You have the upper hand and she is the one with something to lose.
1.Sometimes I count down the minutes until DS1 goes to preschool. I love him to pieces but I love when I just need to tend to one kid instead of two.
2. I do laundry twice a week. On Mondays and Friday's.
3. I took the kids to the gym 4 times this week and I don't feel guilty.
I'm glad I'm not the only one. It is so much easier to tend to one child's needs. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with both of them. When DD is wanting to play while M is nursing or I'm trying to soothe him, I feel like a failure. I just feel like I turn DD away so much.
My fffc is that I like how E has changed the dynamic between me & my mil. Before it was like I was constantly auditioning for her approval. Now I have something she actually cares about and I don't really give a shit what she thinks about me. She can't be rude anymore if she wants to see baby and that makes me feel like we're more equal. It's not just me trying to make nice.
+1 but with my mom. In theory it makes her behave appropriately. In action it works 2/3 of the time but thats more than I got from her before.
My fffc is that I like how E has changed the dynamic between me & my mil. Before it was like I was constantly auditioning for her approval. Now I have something she actually cares about and I don't really give a shit what she thinks about me. She can't be rude anymore if she wants to see baby and that makes me feel like we're more equal. It's not just me trying to make nice.
+1 but with my mom. In theory it makes her behave appropriately. In action it works 2/3 of the time but thats more than I got from her before.
1.Sometimes I count down the minutes until DS1 goes to preschool. I love him to pieces but I love when I just need to tend to one kid instead of two.
So much. And my dd's preschool is only 2.5 hours 2x a week. I wish I had more time some days. She doesn't go to daycare or anywhere else, so for the rest of the time I'm running solo with two.
My BF is still off work (mix of vacation & 5 wks paternity leave) and has been since DSs birth. Even with both of us home we are still starting DD in daycare 2 days a week. She starts this coming Tuesday. No shame.
Having a kid(s) in daycare while you're at home, if you can afford it, shouldn't be a flammable confession. UO?
FFFC: One time my sister came home from college and asked me to add songs to her Ipod because she didn't know how. I took all the songs off and only added 3 Will Smith songs. She went back to college not realizing and spent the semester listening to Hitch and Getting Jiggy With It.
I have sprayed both the twins in the face with my ridiculous let-down. Half of me is horrified for them, half of me is kind of fascinated by how far I'm able to spurt. I feel disgusting.
I got drunk last summer with some other nursing mom friends and we had a contest to see who could spray the furthest!
Everytime I hear a mom complain about diaper leaks, I want to preach to them about the gospel of cloth diapers. Everytime I hear a mom say she can't get anything done during the day or how cumbersome it is to go shopping with a car seat, I want to get up in their face about how awesome babywearing is. Everytime I hear anyone say they want to find a good workout routine, I want to rush them and shout crossfit into their ear. My inner voice is annoying.
I restrain myself. You're welcome.
This is me when it comes to drinking water. It cures all the things. Having trouble losing weight, drink more water. Headache? Water. Shin splints? Water!! Stuffy nose? WATER! DRINK ALL THE WATER!
I don't like guns. I think that private ownership should be allowed but that the current laws are not enough. I don't think 18 yr olds should be able to buy guns. I don't think people should be able to get around background checks by attending gun shows. I've studied gun violence and law as part of my criminology degree. A lot of the reasons people fear gun control are based on flawed beliefs about how stricter laws will lead to an all-out ban. The US has a terrible gun violence problem not found in other developed countries. Things need to change.
i dont fear bans but i do understand that gun legislation only restricts honest law-abiding citizens.
I'm fascinated by how many women here complain about their husbands/SO and how uninvolved they are with baby.
i'm always surprised when nursing moms are pissed that their SO doesn't get up in the middle of the nighttime do diapers or something. I'm going to be up nursing, I can spend the 2 min changing a diaper.
I'm fascinated by how many women here complain about their husbands/SO and how uninvolved they are with baby.
i'm always surprised when nursing moms are pissed that their SO doesn't get up in the middle of the nighttime do diapers or something. I'm going to be up nursing, I can spend the 2 min changing a diaper.
I figured I'm up, why should he get up. My dh is a heavy sleeper too, and always said I could wake him up to get the baby. But if I'm up why should he suffer too. Although with two, if I'm up nursing the baby and the toddler wakes up, I will wake him up to deal with the toddler. But he does it without complaints.
i'm always surprised when nursing moms are pissed that their SO doesn't get up in the middle of the nighttime do diapers or something. I'm going to be up nursing, I can spend the 2 min changing a diaper.
I figured I'm up, why should he get up. My dh is a heavy sleeper too, and always said I could wake him up to get the baby. But if I'm up why should he suffer too. Although with two, if I'm up nursing the baby and the toddler wakes up, I will wake him up to deal with the toddler. But he does it without complaints.
We are the same. In the beginning he really wanted to wake up and help but he is such a deep sleeper that I would spend 5 minutes waking him up as she cried beside me and then I'd be up anyways. So now I just do it and it's so much simpler!
i'm always surprised when nursing moms are pissed that their SO doesn't get up in the middle of the nighttime do diapers or something. I'm going to be up nursing, I can spend the 2 min changing a diaper.
I so agree. I would much rather use his help in a way that will actually benefit me lol. If I'm already up I might as well change her. DH can get up with toddler and let me sleep in. Much more helpful. Zero point having 2 exhausted parents.
+1 in the beginning H was getting W and changing him, bringing him to me to nurse, and then rocking him to sleep so on the weekend I could gain back sleep for the week. Now that im used to the lack of sleep I feed and change him. I only wake H up to rock him if I'm having a particularly hard time and think someone who is not his food source would be better (and then only on weekends).
Sometimes when I'm trying to get stuff done or get somewhere, I'd rather give L a bottle I've pumped rather than breastfeed. He takes the bottle way faster so I can get stuff done and get to places on time (10-15 with the bottle vs 15-30 minutes at the boob).
Yep, I feel this way too.
When he gets really fussy and won't stay latched, I really want to let him cry and pump and feed him. Let him maul the bottle nipple and not mine. Ouch. I kept thinking he wasn't getting enough but the huge milk puddle under him says different. Thing is, I don't want to leave milk in the fridge because he doesn't do this regularly and I would hate for it to go bad.
L gets a bottle a day because we really needed to make sure that he took the bottle before I went back to work. I had heard of babies refusing the bottle because it wasn't introduced and reinforced and I don't want to stress about him not eating before I go back to work.
When he gets really fussy and won't stay latched, I really want to let him cry and pump and feed him. Let him maul the bottle nipple and not mine. Ouch. I kept thinking he wasn't getting enough but the huge milk puddle under him says different. Thing is, I don't want to leave milk in the fridge because he doesn't do this regularly and I would hate for it to go bad.
L gets a bottle a day because we really needed to make sure that he took the bottle before I went back to work. I had heard of babies refusing the bottle because it wasn't introduced and reinforced and I don't want to stress about him not eating before I go back to work.
Probably a good idea. With DD1 we started trying the bottle at 3 weeks, but she didn't catch on until 10 weeks. Then we gave her one or two a week without issue until she started daycare at 14 weeks. Her first 2 days there she completely refused the bottle. I worked next door and was able to run over and nurse her, but it was definitely stressful and many tears were shed by both of us. I think if we had given her one a day she may have been more comfortable with them.
I don't like guns. I think that private ownership should be allowed but that the current laws are not enough. I don't think 18 yr olds should be able to buy guns. I don't think people should be able to get around background checks by attending gun shows. I've studied gun violence and law as part of my criminology degree. A lot of the reasons people fear gun control are based on flawed beliefs about how stricter laws will lead to an all-out ban. The US has a terrible gun violence problem not found in other developed countries. Things need to change.
i dont fear bans but i do understand that gun legislation only restricts honest law-abiding citizens.
That may be true. But most of the guns used in mass shootings... such as the one in Oregon last week... are legally purchased.
i dont fear bans but i do understand that gun legislation only restricts honest law-abiding citizens.
That may be true. But most of the guns used in mass shootings... such as the one in Oregon last week... are legally purchased.
okay? But why should people who willingly take precautions and operate firearms safely be penalized? I think that there shoukd be more education requirements. But i dont for a minute believe that any piece of legislation is going to fix mass shootings.
That may be true. But most of the guns used in mass shootings... such as the one in Oregon last week... are legally purchased.
I think they said he bought 11 legally? Or something like that. Who needs 11 guns?
Between DH and I we have at least 10. But we hunt in different areas and different animals. They each have their own use. But we also were raised to respect their power.
I think they said he bought 11 legally? Or something like that. Who needs 11 guns?
Between DH and I we have at least 10. But we hunt in different areas and different animals. They each have their own use. But we also were raised to respect their power.
We have a smattering of handguns and rifles. All nicely kept and pretty. DH fancies himself a bit of a collector. And we don't live in the best of neighborhoods atm, so we have some specifically for protection on top of the hunting ones.
I agree, I don't think legislation will change stuff like this much. You cannot legally breach doctor patient confidentiality for mental health issues, and those are the big issue imho. We need better mental health screening etc in this country.
I just don't think guns are the issue. Hell, you can use fertilizer.l to cause mass casualties. If someone has the intention if killing a person or a bunch of people, they will find a way.
I guess when i hear someone say i dont like guns, i feel it would be like saying we dont like a certain book or piece of art so get rid of it. And please don't try to tell me those are not as powerful a pistol, or i will know for certain i am living in a real idiocracy. What you need to fear is the propaganda machine that causes you to dislike things. Fear the social isolation of too many screens and selfies and not enough quality human interaction. Any tool we rely on can be a double edged sword, this internet is great, but spending too much time staring into a little black box can make us feel sad, i am oversimplfing, i know, but what i am trying to say is. Guns arent the problem, it's a lack of human understanding that is the problem.
I finally remembered my fffc, sorry its a bit late I use cloth diapers and i use the pee soaked prefold to wipe the poop off of my son's tush. I use a clean wipe after.
Laverne I didn't & wouldn't suggest penalizing law abiding gun owners. I would suggest stricter qualifications for owning in the first place, i.e. no gun show exceptions to background checks, education, mental health checks, possibly higher age restrictions.
Gun legislation in some other places (Australia) has actually had tremendous impact on reducing mass shootings. Can provide support later bc I'm about to take an exam right now.
Also, "I don't like guns" means I won't own one or have one in my house. It doesn't mean ban private ownership, which I said I support in my original post.
Guns may not be the problem behind this country's violence problem, but they are certainly the most common weapon used to perpetuate it. And it isn't necessarily true that people will find another way to cause mass casualties. I could go buy a gun tomorrow. I can't build a weapon of mass destruction & carry out an attack nearly as easily. Criminals aren't always as motivated as they're made out to be & the fact is that guns are an easy weapon to obtain in order to kill a large amount of people.
We don't have to agree. But the US most certainly has an issue with gun violence and SOMETHING needs to be done to help it. Banning private ownership is not that something that I'm suggesting.
Laverne I didn't & wouldn't suggest penalizing law abiding gun owners. I would suggest stricter qualifications for owning in the first place, i.e. no gun show exceptions to background checks, education, mental health checks, possibly higher age restrictions.
Gun legislation in some other places (Australia) has actually had tremendous impact on reducing mass shootings. Can provide support later bc I'm about to take an exam right now.
Also, "I don't like guns" means I won't own one or have one in my house. It doesn't mean ban private ownership, which I said I support in my original post.
Guns may not be the problem behind this country's violence problem, but they are certainly the most common weapon used to perpetuate it. And it isn't necessarily true that people will find another way to cause mass casualties. I could go buy a gun tomorrow. I can't build a weapon of mass destruction & carry out an attack nearly as easily. Criminals aren't always as motivated as they're made out to be & the fact is that guns are an easy weapon to obtain in order to kill a large amount of people.
We don't have to agree. But the US most certainly has an issue with gun violence and SOMETHING needs to be done to help it. Banning private ownership is not that something that I'm suggesting.
**slow clap**
I'd like to add that I get annoyed with the "if they really want to kill someone then they will" argument.
Do we blame cars for killing people when someone drives drunk? No. But we do punish or penalize those that do.
Do we blame planes when they are crashed into buildings? No. But I do have to go through security and there are other requirements that ensure passengers are safe.
I am not sure what the answer is but I know doing nothing ISN'T the answer. I don't support banning guns entirely but something needs to change.
I also find it amusing that some political parties want to ban birth control and abortions but when it comes to banning guns "that won't work" but that's a whole different debate.
I'd also like to add that I appreciate the intelligent grown up debate we are having here. Y'all rock.
Laverne, I don't agree with you at all but I suspect we are not going to find much common ground as you equate guns to art and purport that fertilizer is as dangerous as guns.
Here is a well researched fact check on deaths due to terrorism and gun deaths:
---- 39 years old, MH is 43 TTC since 2010; Dx Unexplained Infertility; possible male factor 6 IUIs, 1 IVF, 2 FETs, 1 mmc, 1 CP Started Adoption process Feb 2015, officially waiting July 2015
Laverne, I don't agree with you at all but I suspect we are not going to find much common ground as you equate guns to art and purport that fertilizer is as dangerous as guns.
Here is a well researched fact check on deaths due to terrorism and gun deaths:
We have a terrible problem that needs to be addressed. And I don't understand anyone who can't admit that and be pro-gun ownership at the same time.
this is a fine example of a lack of humsn understanding. Please take off the hate goggles and read what i wrote. Someone else referenced fertilizer and have you ever looked at or held a firearm, they are works of art and masterpieces in human engineering and worksmanship.
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