Tell me I'm not alone.....

[cookiesandwine]

We are really really really really really struggling with Sadie lately. A lot. Even when we make the effort to do fun things or have one on one time with her, it feels not even worth it because she acts out the entire time still.
I guess thankfully she's good at school and pretty good at daycare so it has to come out somewhere. But fuuuuuck. I hate feeling like this but it's hard to enjoy being around her. This weekend was really tough.

[cbear]

You are not alone!! Honestly we have just been cracking down hard on her behavior and not putting up with it. It's no fun for any of us but the past couple days have been better. Talking back to us? No Mickey that night. Hitting: direct time out. Tantrum: go sit in your room with no toys until you are better.

It stinks being the bad guy so much but we were just at a loss with her attitude and behavior lately so we are just really making it clear to her we are not messing around

[cookiesandwine]

I swear the only words out of my mouth lately are "no" and "go to your room." Ugh three sucks!

[bliz1712]

Liking because that's where we are. I hate that our days are more negative than positive but I don't want to not discipline the behavior. And I think we might have a little differently because she picks up on 12 year old attitude and behavior from v.

[heatherbee]

I'm sorry it's been so rough How old is Luke now? I remember the first few weeks of new baby being pretty mellow, but after a month or so, DS's behavior got worse for a bit. It was like the baby was a cool new thing for a bit, but once he realized she wasn't going anywhere we had a tougher couple of weeks. Maybe that's playing a role?

[bantyrooster]

We definitely have those days! Once we figured out Ellison was keeping Gage up motn and he started to get more sleep he acted way better! 3 also just sucks.

[origamimommy]

You're not alone.

The only thing that helps us is not punishing for his reaction. So basically we make a choice, let him have his emotionally reaction but don't respond unless he directly asks us a question. Then we reiterate what we already said. That works for tyler, but literally nothing else does.

Peace be with us all, and may 4 come someday soon.

[cookiesandwine]

heatherbee Luke is 12 weeks today. I'm back to work tmrw and just hoping that once we get into our normal routine that she'll level out. I just hate to think that the 90 minutes we get together each evening will be like this all the time.

I hate that so many of us are feeling like this but I feel much less like a failure. We can't all be doing it wrong!! (Right!?)

[knic06]

I am right there with you.

Lucas is downright terrible sometimes. He is good for others and at daycare but if he doesn't get his way with us he'll throw a tantrum or start pushing at us to go away. The only thing that works when he is in full-on tantrum mode is to put him in time out and let him cry it out for a few minutes. Then he is usually better, mostly because he exhausted himself.

Kids....

[barefoot84]

I remember feeling this way, and now I don't, so hang in there, it'll get better! I don't know what we did with Tumaini that made things better, maybe it just takes a little time for things to settle again. Three is hard, for both toddler and parents I think...

[tribute17]

I don't know what you guys are talking about. My child is a perfect angel and never yells at me or throws a fit. He definitely does not take forever to do anything or ignore everything I say. I never have to hold him down to get him in the car seat or drag him to the car when he refuses to leave the park. Transitions are the easiest for us. Moving from one activity to another never causes a meltdown. And I definitely never have to say anything more than one time, he always responds with yes mommy, anything for you.

[laurski81]

We are right there with you too. We tried to do nice things this weekend and Henry ruined almost every minute. I took him to the movies yesterday just him and I, and no sooner then the movie was over he was a complete jerk the rest of the day. Then today at the fair he was a fucking nightmare. We ended up just leaving after an hour and a half because I was seriously going to just lose it. I feel like nothing works as far as disciplining him is concerned and most days I don't even want to be around him. He can be so mean.

[laurski81]

Oh and then the kicker...we had to stop by target on the way home today and I knew I should have just run in by myself, but my H thought Henry had calmed down so we all went in. Well he flipped his shit as soon as we walked through the doors screaming that he wanted a ninja turtle and when I calmly told him no he started kicking, screaming, the works. Well I was pushing him in the cart and my H had Cece so I immediately wheeled us all right back out and to the car. He was fighting me so bad I had to literally restrain him by holding him down in the seat so I could buckle him. Some woman (I didn't see her but my H did) was apparently giving me dirty looks for having to get him into his car seat that way, like I was harming him or something. Fucking TW I'd love to see you try it.

I swear I go to bed every night so physically and mentally exhausted.

[snickers4everyone]

Definitely right there with you. Emmy can be downright mean. I've actually seen her push her brother off a stool he was standing on because she wanted to stand on it. And if I yell at her, she smirks. That smirk goes all through me. She hates time out, but only sometimes...other times you tell her she can do what she's told or have time out and she says she wants time out.
She's really bad about teasing her brother when she has something he wants. I've started a new thing where if she teases him with a toy, she has to give it to him and wait for him to be done with it or find something to nicely trade for it before she can have it back.
Nicky isn't much better these days. If he gets upset about anything...being corrected, hurting himself, whatever...he goes to the nearest person and hits them. And he's decided he HATES my MIL, which she deals with by posting passive aggressive shit (parenting articles) on my FB. Thanks kid.

[snickers4everyone]

laurski81
That must be so emotionally draining. I hope you know that you are an amazing person and mother. I wish I could wrap you in a big hug, watch Henry for you, and leave you a giant bottle of wine. I hope these difficult days pass quickly for all of us, but for you especially.
May that elusive unicorn visit you tonight and fart sleeping gas all over the place.

[mommymadness]

Hang in there ladies!! It can only get better from where you're at, right!?

[vanessalc]

Add me to the toddler asshole list.
Also, I love how the love it is "__wants to hold your hand" those things always make me giggle

[sarahandeddie]

Avery has been awful lately. She'll be completely fine and then melt down for no apparent reason. Today she freaked because she got up but still wanted to be covered up. She just started screaming and I had no idea why.

It's been so bad lately that DH has had to step up because I'm beyond frustrated. I actually had him stop by while Ken duty tonight because she would not stay in her room at bed time.

Thankfully DH and I got a kid free 24hrs this weekend because i was about to snap. I realized we need time alone more often than every 4 months.

[junkytrunk]

laurski81 that has definitely happened to me more than once. And I always feel like an asshole because it usually is accompanied by me yelling as well. I found the best thing is for me to shut the door and leave him in there until he calms down. It can take a good 20 min, but it also helps me calm down too.

[junkytrunk]

Before M started preschool, he was a freaking terror. I would wait longer than I had to to pick him up from daycare. He would be mostly fine on the weekend, but wee knights were the worst. He would fight me just getting out of the car and into the house. Since preschool, he is so much more pleasant. Idk what happened. Maybe the structure and because there are so many more kids to looks up to. I know Sadie is in preschool, but does she go everyday? It might help to have more structure for her in that sense.

[sarasansh]

Yup. Robin melted down Friday night and had a tantrum that lasted until he went to sleep, and then continued the moment he woke up Saturday morning.

I looked up a bunch of parenting books and started reading Peaceful Parent Happy Child by Laura Markham. I'm about halfway through but it's already been helpful to understand what's going on in his head. I tried my best to follow her suggestions yesterday and we had a MUCH better day with no tantrums.

[starfishy]

When we pick T up from school all we hear is "oh he was our superstar today. Oh if we had a class full of Tommy's our lives would be so easy." Then we go home and I don't see that child. He tests and tests and tests.
We went to the mets game yesterday and he threw his hat at me several times. Kicked me bc it was funny. Refused to listen about holding his drink the right way so it spilled all over him. Part of it was no nap. That's an easy excuse. Another part is my niece and nephew were there and if my mom doesn't discipline them no one does and T does whatever they do. And it's annoying to try to stop him.
Sometimes I tell him I'm calling his teachers bc God forbid he do something wrong in their eyes. Other times I tell him to go into another room until he is calm and can talk. Sometimes we resort to timeout- hitting, messing with the cats, etc. I try to be consistent but it's hard.

[jennmm]

You are not alone. Sometimes, I think I need an exorcist.

[roo1582]

You are definitely not alone. I regularly repeat to myself "I hate three-year-olds." Honestly, the good moments seem very far and few these days. Everything is a struggle and a fight. Like others have said, she can be downright mean. If she's not being mean, she is just so whiny and argumentative. No matter what we do, she always seems to find a way to make it miserable. We try to be consistent about discipline and really not give in. We have taken away a lot of rewards due to her behavior. It sometimes still feel like it is all fruitless though. I can only hope this starts to get better soon because I don't know how long I can take it sometimes.

[mrsdonati]

They're not supposed to act like this?! I thought this was a new normal!
Elena's new thing is to spit at you when you try talking to her.
She's also inky like this for DH and I, everyone else thinks she's a delight!

[barefoot84]

Oct 5, 2015 1:33:56 GMT -5 sarasansh said:

Yup. Robin melted down Friday night and had a tantrum that lasted until he went to sleep, and then continued the moment he woke up Saturday morning.

I looked up a bunch of parenting books and started reading Peaceful Parent Happy Child by Laura Markham. I'm about halfway through but it's already been helpful to understand what's going on in his head. I tried my best to follow her suggestions yesterday and we had a MUCH better day with no tantrums.

This is probably my favorite parenting book, and I've read a few. She also has a blog for those who don't have time or desire to read the whole book.

"Playing" with Tumaini is what works best right now for now. She does this thing where she constantly repeats herself. Like, we'll be in the car, and she'll say "Mom, I'm thirsty". And I'll say okay, you can have some water when we get home. But she'll repeat herself two seconds after. "Mom, I'm thirsty", and I'll repeat myself. But after the fourth of fifth time, I act all surprised, like it's new information "What, you're thirsty??? No way! I didn't know! Are you sure you're thirsty?" and make a big deal out of it, and she'll start giggling instead of dissolving into a tantrum because I don't have a glass of water to give her right this second.

We also avoid a lot of tantrums during transition by letting them know there will be a change soon, and then by showing empathy when it's actually time for the change: Example: We have to leave the park in five minutes. And then when we leave, and she starts complaining, I say "I know you don't want to leave, that you were having a lot of fun at the park, and you still wanted to play. But it's time to leave for X reason". And if she still decides to have a tantrum, I give her a choice: "Do you want to walk to the car, or do I have to carry you?".

[origamimommy]

So to go along with this thread, we bought Tyler a dinosaur thing from Costco yesterday as a Christmas present. He earns treats throughout the week with a sticker chart, and we had just left Target where he picked out a small Paw Patrol toy as his prize for good behavior.

Anyway, we tell the cashier at costco that it was a secret and could he scan it below instead of putting it on the belt. He says sure, and then IMMEDIATELY puts it up on the belt and says, "Oh I'm sorry." Too late, Tyler saw it and started begging for it. We said no, and we got through yesterday evening with him asking for it non stop.

This morning he wakes up, asks for it, and I told him he already received his prize for the week. I put him in his room and said when he was ready to come out he could, because he was flipping out. He came into the bathroom while I was doing my hair, with the most evil look on his face and started peeing all over the floor. Halfway through he starts crying, saying he needs to go pee in the potty. I don't know how I managed to keep my composure, but I let him finish peeing, got him a towel, and told him that it was okay but he needed to clean up his own mess. He was totally fine after that. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH TODDLERS

[somethingcleverer]

You're not alone. Aubrey can be such a beast at times. She's good one on one but as soon as you say no or her brother is around she turns evil. She completely tortures her brother, takes his toys, tells him he can't do things, she even tried to lock him in the pantry. I mostly try to ignore the tantrums but they definitely wear me down.

[cookiesandwine]

Oct 5, 2015 8:00:09 GMT -5 origamimommy said:

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH TODDLERS

You summed up this thread quite nicely.

Sadie spits too mrsdonati, but you win origamimommy

[mightybee]

Oct 5, 2015 7:17:31 GMT -5 mrsdonati said:

They're not supposed to act like this?! I thought this was a new normal!
Elena's new thing is to spit at you when you try talking to her.
She's also inky like this for DH and I, everyone else thinks she's a delight!

Eew, Dylan spit on me today. So gross and took all I had to just leave the room for a minute.