Dumb $hit People Say about Getting Pregnant....

[rooskie]

I had to get my flu shot at work today. I had to check the "are you pregnant or will be in the next month?" box. The nurse asked me about it, with a co-worker getting a shot on the other side of the table. Luckily it was my work BFF who knows, but it was not a fun time.

I also got told to enjoy our quiet lifestyle while we can before we have kids this week. And we should borrow someone's 3 year old to test if we want to have kids.

[ghostmonkey]

Oct 7, 2015 10:48:46 GMT -5 mrsjene said:

For the most part, it's acquaintances (who have no idea that we are TTC) that say the most inappropriate things.

"You've been married for HOW LONG? And you don't have kids yet?"

To their own children: "Go hang out with mrsjene. She needs the practice and to catch the baby bug."

My favorite was when a stranger at a baby shower asked me if I'm trying to have children. My response was, "Are you asking me if I'm having sex for a purpose other than pleasure?" She didn't come near me for the rest of the shower.

God I hated this one.

I punch DH in the arm any time he refers to our child as birth control to people we don't know well.

[ohinvrtedworld]

Oct 7, 2015 11:38:42 GMT -5 kariann12 said:

I found out last weekend my high school friend is having triplets (first month trying, naturally). She offered to give me one.

Um... I want to punch her. Sorry if she's your good friend. Because I do.

[Rama]

Oct 7, 2015 11:38:42 GMT -5 kariann12 said:

I found out last weekend my high school friend is having triplets (first month trying, naturally). She offered to give me one.

Fucking RAGE. I loathe this.

I'm lucky, I guess. People don't really pry or dwell on it. My mom had IF and SIF and she once went out of her way to tell me that she specifically avoids bringing it up; she knows how hard the pressure can get and she doesn't want to do that to me. Even acquaintances and strangers are usually tactful and let the subject drop when I finish saying what I wanna say.

EDIT: That was a grammatical clusterfuck.

[Ray]

The same lady that was T the bachelorette and got pregnant her first try tried to tell me that her boobs were heavy because her milk is coming in already (9.5 weeks) and that she hoped her baby belly wasn't obvious in her bridesmaids dress.

[emilie]

A few of my friends who know have said something to me along the lines of "well, maybe you can have fertility treatments and have twiiiiins! squee!" it takes all my energy not to launch into a lecture about how you can't just "choose twins" and how multiple pregnancies come with lots of risks, etc.

A pregnant friend who doesn't know was recently bitching to me about how they were trying for an February due date, but they "had" to settle for March instead because it took 2 months. I wanted to tell her that we had been trying for, you know, a March 2015 due date.

[sleepymonkey]

Oct 7, 2015 12:16:40 GMT -5 emilie said:

A few of my friends who know have said something to me along the lines of "well, maybe you can have fertility treatments and have twiiiiins! squee!" it takes all my energy not to launch into a lecture about how you can't just "choose twins" and how multiple pregnancies come with lots of risks, etc.

A pregnant friend who doesn't know was recently bitching to me about how they were trying for an February due date, but they "had" to settle for March instead because it took 2 months. I wanted to tell her that we had been trying for, you know, a March 2015 due date.

That reminds me of my friend who struggled with infertility. She finally was able to get pregnant after 3 years and was due in August. When she would tell people, even some who knew her struggle to get pregnant, many would tell her that she was crazy to want to be in 3rd trimester in Florida and she should have planned it better.

[housecarder]

I've actually had a lot less comments now that I've opened up about IF and our IVF treatments but did get two that I did not expect.
One was from a lady at church who went through 3 years of IF. Her daughter is 8 months old and her response was "Oh just adopt and you'll get pregnant. That's how we got E, we fostered the boys"
At the bank yesterday I was talking to one of my old bridesmaids that works there who helped us get the IVF loan and H said something about being tired. She looks at him and says "Well you better pep up, don't you have work to do for this invitro thing?" And winks at him. Did you really just ask him if he has to go masterbate?

[pinkcat]

Hugs emilie! The "trying for specific months" can be really frustrating. I've lurked the TTC threads on BMBs before and so many people say things like "We are going to start trying next month, I want to make sure I have a July due date to maximize my leave." If only it was that easy for everyone

[Deleted]

While talking to my very pregnant with twins cousin at her baby shower about how she kept being kicked in the vagina, my aunt came up to me and said, "You two are so close in age, wouldn't it be wonderful to have a baby soon too."

I laughed and told my aunt that we had already agreed to share since there would be two of them. She said, Aww, I know you would be a great mom too. So I responded, Oh, I'm just kidding. Kids are too expensive. How would I pay for them?

My aunt is a nun. I know i'm going to hell for that.

[requiressnacks]

Oct 7, 2015 11:38:42 GMT -5 kariann12 said:

I found out last weekend my high school friend is having triplets (first month trying, naturally). She offered to give me one.

Like, in a serious way?

[kariann12]

Oct 7, 2015 12:28:38 GMT -5 requiressnacks said:

Oct 7, 2015 11:38:42 GMT -5 kariann12 said:

I found out last weekend my high school friend is having triplets (first month trying, naturally). She offered to give me one.

Like, in a serious way?

I mean, she laughed afterwards. Who knows.

[Rama]

Oct 7, 2015 12:30:05 GMT -5 kariann12 said:

Oct 7, 2015 12:28:38 GMT -5 requiressnacks said:

Like, in a serious way?

I mean, she laughed afterwards. Who knows.

No, seriously, this really freakin' ticks me off.

A) I don't want your kid, I want my kid.
B) You aren't serious anyway, even if I did want your kid.
C) To just casually be able to joke about getting rid of your kids makes me irate like no one's business.

I probably get too worked up about it because I know they're jokes (poor jokes, but still an attempt at humor) and I know how common it is to just want a moment of peace and sanity.  But goddamnit.  It makes me so mad.

[joy]

My brother in law: It's so easy to make a kid, guys. Five minutes. Just go do it already.

I left the Facetime conversation.

[cheezee]

Oct 7, 2015 10:44:20 GMT -5 icaughtfire said:

The only thing we've ever heard is when will we have another one (because DD is 6.) We just shrug, say we don't know & the conversation ends. There's some pretty nosy & inappropriate people in some of your lives.

I get this a lot too. I just kind of blow it off and say something like "one is enough for me right now". I work with a ton of nosy women so everyone likes to keep telling me it's time for DD to have a sibling. If I'm annoyed by the conversation I'll say "oh if only it was that easy" and they usually get the point.

[butlerfan]

I have a MIL that is annoying about it. We've only told a couple close friends due to not wanting her asking every time I talk to her if we are pregnant.

She got drunk one night (where she got sick and I had to put her in the shower with her clothes on) and she went on this crying rant about how we need to have kids, no one can afford their first kid, we aren't getting any younger, she wants to be a grandma, just relax/go on vacation, etc

She also said how we need a book on a separate occasion since obviously we aren't accomplishing anything (ie her wanting to be a grandmother) Really?!!!!!! She has now told complete strangers her frustration with us and that she is going to get us a book.

And she wonders why I don't want to talk to her all the time.....

[ironbaby]

butlerfan, OOF. That's all I can say about your MIL.

Edit: left out a word

[sleepymonkey]

Oct 7, 2015 12:49:56 GMT -5 cheezee said:

Oct 7, 2015 10:44:20 GMT -5 icaughtfire said:

The only thing we've ever heard is when will we have another one (because DD is 6.) We just shrug, say we don't know & the conversation ends. There's some pretty nosy & inappropriate people in some of your lives.

I get this a lot too. I just kind of blow it off and say something like "one is enough for me right now". I work with a ton of nosy women so everyone likes to keep telling me it's time for DD to have a sibling. If I'm annoyed by the conversation I'll say "oh if only it was that easy" and they usually get the point.

With co-workers and other random people that don't know our age, we don't usually get any comments after we say "we're thinking about it" when asked about a second. Most people I work with think I'm in my late 20s/early 30s (yay!). It's the people that know we're in our late 30s that respond with "You better get on it because you're running out of time!". Thanks for reminding me.

[SheilaTheTank]

Oct 7, 2015 13:00:35 GMT -5 butlerfan said:

I have a MIL that is annoying about it. We've only told a couple close friends due to not wanting her asking every time I talk to her if we are pregnant.

She got drunk one night (where she got sick and I had to put her in the shower with her clothes on) and she went on this crying rant about how we need to have kids, no one can afford their first kid, we aren't getting any younger, she wants to be a grandma, just relax/go on vacation, etc

She also said how we need a book on a separate occasion since obviously we aren't accomplishing anything (ie her wanting to be a grandmother) Really?!!!!!! She has now told complete strangers her frustration with us and that she is going to get us a book.

And she wonders why I don't want to talk to her all the time.....

Oh hell no to dealing with a drunk ass anyone especially my MIL. I left that shit back in college.

[spicysalmonroll]

Oct 7, 2015 11:14:28 GMT -5 pinkcat said:

I haven't read through everything yet, but my mom tells me to make sure "not to spend too much time on the internet reading, you'll stress yourself out. Just relax."

But without spending time on the internet "reading" I would have no clue about temping and would never be hitting my FW since I don't usually O around CD 14, so......

Dude same here. I feel like I'd have such a less chance by not reading about my body and knowing all that I've learned so far.
My best friend is trying and when I try to talk to her about temping or anything she is like "I'm not going to do any of that- it stresses me out". I'm like ooooooook? so just keep doing it the wrong days instead...since you could be a day 21 O like me....not sure why you wouldn't want to find that out early in the process or how that could be stressful.

My other friend has 2, the first she admitedly wasn't even trying for. She told me "Have sex twice a day for 30 days. It's fool proof, it's guaranteed." Again oooook? How is it fool proof to do it twice a day on the 27 days I'm not fertile, and my 8 day luteal phase is most definitely going to be a factor....but thanks.

[setsuna17]

Oct 7, 2015 13:45:17 GMT -5 spicysalmonroll said:

Oct 7, 2015 11:14:28 GMT -5 pinkcat said:

I haven't read through everything yet, but my mom tells me to make sure "not to spend too much time on the internet reading, you'll stress yourself out. Just relax."

But without spending time on the internet "reading" I would have no clue about temping and would never be hitting my FW since I don't usually O around CD 14, so......

My other friend has 2, the first she admitedly wasn't even trying for. She told me "Have sex twice a day for 30 days. It's fool proof, it's guaranteed." Again oooook? How is it fool proof to do it twice a day on the 27 days I'm not fertile, and my 8 day luteal phase is most definitely going to be a factor....but thanks.

My vagina hurts just thinking about this. 

[spicysalmonroll]

setsuna17, That's what I said! I literally texted back "there is no way in hell". I get sore after 5 days in a row.

[rooskie]

Oct 7, 2015 12:27:32 GMT -5 pinkcat said:

Hugs emilie! The "trying for specific months" can be really frustrating. I've lurked the TTC threads on BMBs before and so many people say things like "We are going to start trying next month, I want to make sure I have a July due date to maximize my leave." If only it was that easy for everyone

Apparently my sister is TFAS for May, because she's a teacher. My nephew was born in May. 

She's coming home for Christmas this year so I'm pretty much expecting a pregnancy announcement either when she gets here or at Thanksgiving.

[MrsC0617]

My friend is a LCSW & counselor so she claimed that stress related infertility is a real thing and that tracking & temping adds to that. But she also claimed that she felt her baby move at 10 weeks and that her baby had the worst documented case of colic in the county. Mmm kay, thanks for the dramatic info.

[setsuna17]

Oct 7, 2015 14:12:18 GMT -5 rooskie said:

Oct 7, 2015 12:27:32 GMT -5 pinkcat said:

Hugs emilie! The "trying for specific months" can be really frustrating. I've lurked the TTC threads on BMBs before and so many people say things like "We are going to start trying next month, I want to make sure I have a July due date to maximize my leave." If only it was that easy for everyone

Apparently my sister is TFAS for May, because she's a teacher. My nephew was born in May. 

She's coming home for Christmas this year so I'm pretty much expecting a pregnancy announcement either when she gets here or at Thanksgiving.

This gives me the sads because I always wanted a perfect teacher summer baby. We were aiming for Summer 2015...

[spicysalmonroll]

rooskie, she's doing it wrong...shoot for Sept and then extend your summer break by 3 more months hahahah

[rooskie]

Oct 7, 2015 14:24:55 GMT -5 spicysalmonroll said:

rooskie, she's doing it wrong...shoot for Sept and then extend your summer break by 3 more months hahahah

They don't have the money to do that. 

Don't even get me started.

[spicysalmonroll]

Oct 7, 2015 14:27:12 GMT -5 rooskie said:

Oct 7, 2015 14:24:55 GMT -5 spicysalmonroll said:

rooskie, she's doing it wrong...shoot for Sept and then extend your summer break by 3 more months hahahah

They don't have the money to do that. 

Don't even get me started.

Teachers union doesn't have paid leave??

[setsuna17]

Oct 7, 2015 14:30:41 GMT -5 spicysalmonroll said:

Oct 7, 2015 14:27:12 GMT -5 rooskie said:

They don't have the money to do that. 

Don't even get me started.

Teachers union doesn't have paid leave??

Aahahhahahahawhahawhah. *gasp* ahahahahahaahahahaha. No. Most teachers do not get maternity leave.

[rooskie]

Oct 7, 2015 14:32:02 GMT -5 setsuna17 said:

Oct 7, 2015 14:30:41 GMT -5 spicysalmonroll said:

Teachers union doesn't have paid leave??

Aahahhahahahawhahawhah. *gasp* ahahahahahaahahahaha. No. Most teachers do not get maternity leave.

She has to use her sick time and I think that is all she gets. Her H lost his job when she was pregnant with Z and still hasn't gone back to work, so she has to work.