Hope everyone has safe travels! s I am pissed. DH and I have been going round and round about getting a cleaner to come in once a month. Now that I am back at school full time, things have gotten crazy around here. I still have all of the responsibilities I've always had: cooking, cleaning, laundry, all the grocery/household shopping, being in charge of the bills, and working full time. When I was PG, I could do it all just fine. Some of the cleaning sucked because I had to get down on the floor to scrub, etc but j did it without complaint. During my maternity leave, I was able to balance everything ontop of being the primary caretaker for B. Now that I am back to school and I need to pack up B everyday for the sitters, pack my lunch, scald his milk, get all my pumping things organized, and deal with all of the afterschool responsibilities of being a high school teacher, I am lucky if I sit down before 8:30/9pm. Add that to being the only one that gets up with B at night BC I am EBF (it was a whopping 4 times last night. Shoot me now) I am completely burnt out. I can stay on top of the day to day cleaning, but the big stuff like floors, windows and deep cleaning bathrooms is exhausting. I usually end up doing it on on Sunday while DH watches football and plays with B inbetween feedings.
Now, if this were going to be a financial burden, I wouldn't even think of it as an option. But it's not a burden, at all. I'm wanting someone to come in once a month to take care of the big stuff that I can't do everyday. DH is completely against it. He says he'll step up and clean more, but the man can't even bring himself to put his own laundry away or wipe down a countertop after he's gotten something on it. I am a complete neat freak, and I probably need to back off a little, but I don't think getting a cleaner once a month is such a big deal., especially when it will feel like such a load off my shoulders. DH says its "excessive"
I've said that we should try it for 3 months and then re-evaluate, since neither one of us has had a cleaner before. He's not budging. Am I being unreasonable?
Sorry this was so long. TL DR: I want a cleaner once a month, DH says we don't need one, but hasn't really done anything to help around the house
kemdupuis, I think your H is being totally unreasonable. It's not even like you're asking someone to come once a week! There's gotta be another way to get him to understand how hard it is to manage everything.
I left Sophie's bottles in the fridge at home, and have been trying to call DH for 35 minutes to see if he can drop them off at the daycare before her next bottle is due. He is not picking up the freaking phone! I am seriously considering turning around and being super late to work just so I know she has her bottles there.
kemdupuis, yep, your life sounds like mine ( I do all the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and taking care of V). I'm not working right now, and I still have issues staying on top of things. I sat my husband down three months ago and told him that we needed the cleaners to come once a month for deep cleaning. He didn't agree or disagree, so I just went ahead and booked it. I think I told him the morning of that the cleaners were coming hahahaha. I say do it!! He will end up being thankful that the house is clean and you aren't "complaining" to him.
kemdupuis I think your three month trial is a good compromise for your H. Once he sees how it helps you he'll probably be fine with it. I totally understand being the one doing almost all the things with H who is less than intentionally helpful. If I ask H to do specific things he will, otherwise I'm left to do them.
budders I'm sorry V is still sick. Hopefully you'll both get some rest today.
Joolschweets I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather.
Hope everyone has safe travels! s I am pissed. DH and I have been going round and round about getting a cleaner to come in once a month. Now that I am back at school full time, things have gotten crazy around here. I still have all of the responsibilities I've always had: cooking, cleaning, laundry, all the grocery/household shopping, being in charge of the bills, and working full time. When I was PG, I could do it all just fine. Some of the cleaning sucked because I had to get down on the floor to scrub, etc but j did it without complaint. During my maternity leave, I was able to balance everything ontop of being the primary caretaker for B. Now that I am back to school and I need to pack up B everyday for the sitters, pack my lunch, scald his milk, get all my pumping things organized, and deal with all of the afterschool responsibilities of being a high school teacher, I am lucky if I sit down before 8:30/9pm. Add that to being the only one that gets up with B at night BC I am EBF (it was a whopping 4 times last night. Shoot me now) I am completely burnt out. I can stay on top of the day to day cleaning, but the big stuff like floors, windows and deep cleaning bathrooms is exhausting. I usually end up doing it on on Sunday while DH watches football and plays with B inbetween feedings.
Now, if this were going to be a financial burden, I wouldn't even think of it as an option. But it's not a burden, at all. I'm wanting someone to come in once a month to take care of the big stuff that I can't do everyday. DH is completely against it. He says he'll step up and clean more, but the man can't even bring himself to put his own laundry away or wipe down a countertop after he's gotten something on it. I am a complete neat freak, and I probably need to back off a little, but I don't think getting a cleaner once a month is such a big deal., especially when it will feel like such a load off my shoulders. DH says its "excessive"
I've said that we should try it for 3 months and then re-evaluate, since neither one of us has had a cleaner before. He's not budging. Am I being unreasonable?
Sorry this was so long. TL DR: I want a cleaner once a month, DH says we don't need one, but hasn't really done anything to help around the house
I think your H is being ridiculous. My H helps out quite a bit (and guilt trips me, but that's a different story) and a cleaner would be tight for us financially, but if our situation were different I would be looking for help too. i'm not sure how you and your H work your finances, and you don't have to tell me, but we each manage our own money. We have our bills that we are each responsible for, and we do have a joint checking account, but we don't really pool our money unless it's working toward something specific like a vacation or our savings account. If it were me, based on the way that we manage our money, I would just tell him that I'm choosing to spend some of my discretionary budget for the month on a cleaner. If you manage finances differently, it may not work that way or that may not be as fair of a solution as it would be in my house, but just an idea.
I agree with this. We share a bank account, and pool all of our money, but are both free to spend money as we see is appropriate (within reason). That's why I said I would do it anyway above. Because something like $100 once/month isn't necessarily something we need to be in agreement on.
The kids and I are going to visit one of my best friends this morning as its her 30th this weekend. But can't do anything this weekend because it's Thanksgiving yay! So will spend the rest of the day likely doing laundry and packing for our (mini) travels.
I think your H is being ridiculous. My H helps out quite a bit (and guilt trips me, but that's a different story) and a cleaner would be tight for us financially, but if our situation were different I would be looking for help too. i'm not sure how you and your H work your finances, and you don't have to tell me, but we each manage our own money. We have our bills that we are each responsible for, and we do have a joint checking account, but we don't really pool our money unless it's working toward something specific like a vacation or our savings account. If it were me, based on the way that we manage our money, I would just tell him that I'm choosing to spend some of my discretionary budget for the month on a cleaner. If you manage finances differently, it may not work that way or that may not be as fair of a solution as it would be in my house, but just an idea.
I agree with this. We share a bank account, and pool all of our money, but are both free to spend money as we see is appropriate (within reason). That's why I said I would do it anyway above. Because something like $100 once/month isn't necessarily something we need to be in agreement on.
Just like carolyngrace, we pool all of our money into one bank account. You guys are right though, it's not a lot of money (the cleaner I talked to said between $130 and $160 based on the square footage of our home), and I should probably just do it. I spend that kind of money every once in a while without discussing it with him first, so I don't know why I am hesitating on this. Maybe I was trying to be kind and upfront by having the discussion with him, but I guess I never expected his reaction to be so strongly against it. I think I am going to just go ahead and schedule someone. He doesn't see me do the stuff like vacuum all of the furniture because we have cats, or wash the windows, dust all of the trim, etc. because he works so much. I just feel like I deserve to have some down time, too, and TBH, I'd love it to be at the same time as DH so we can all enjoy each other. Right now, I feel like I just pass the baby to him so I can go do all of the chores I've been waiting to do, and that sucks. Thanks for the pep talk, ladies. I'm going to call and make an appointment with someone today. DH can just pound salt.
@bubbs119 and budders I hope your kiddos start feeling better soon- that sounds awful!
Joolschweets I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your grandad. Sending hugs your way.
kemdupuis MH thinks baby holding is helping, le sigh. Make a list of what you do. Include work. Tell him that x number of things can be done in a day, and he can circle that many things he would like you to continue doing. Everything else will not be getting done unless he does it himself, or hires someone to do it. Tell him at the end of a week it has to be done, or you get to decide how to conquer it.
kemdupuis MH thinks baby holding is helping, le sigh. Make a list of what you do. Include work. Tell him that x number of things can be done in a day, and he can circle that many things he would like you to continue doing. Everything else will not be getting done unless he does it himself, or hires someone to do it. Tell him at the end of a week it has to be done, or you get to decide how to conquer it.
I love that so much lol... The thing is, my DH would totally pick "great sex life" and "Fit, trim & well-groomed", but my top two wouldn't include either of those
kemdupuis RAGE!! Lol! But seriously, you're being way more reasonable about it than I would. MH does well with lists, so I would list out all of the things you do and the time it takes so that he can see why it's a necessity.
Post by pghtruelove on Oct 8, 2015 10:14:11 GMT -5
Supposed to be leaving for DC today but I am no where close to being done packing. And I still have to clean out my car. Looks like we will be driving over night. Joolschweets so sorry about your granddad budders I hope that baby gets better soon!!!
@imapenguin, I'd probably call out, because I hate lying...even if it is something stupid.
DH FINALLY answered his phone an hour after I first called him and bottles are safely at DC. I sometimes hate having to make them ahead of time because I leave them in the fridge in the little cooler and getting two kids out the door by 6:45 is hard!
My phones were down at work for awhile this morning and it was SO nice to be able to work without distraction.
erbear That sounds like quite an interesting day. Hopefully there was another teacher who was able to translate anything that wasn't well explained by the teacher. What kind of program were you subbing for?
I left my flash drive at my other school. Again. Luckily, I caught it early enough to remake my lesson plans for today. I've got to figure out a real solution for when this happens. I would store everything online but at my main school I teach on a cart and just use the classroom teachers' profiles and they'll most likely already be logged into Google. Maybe I could get my google profile to work on their computers. But, honestly it all just sounds like a PITA.
kemdupuis, getting a cleaner once a month has done wonders for our marriage. I no longer feel like I have to "do it all" and he no longer gets nagged to death. Hope your DH comes around.
I totally just fell asleep while pumping at work. Thank goodness I set a timer when I pump. Yay for random, unexpected 20 minute naps during the day!
jessila I was in for second grade. The para in the room worked with three kids with ieps, and they were really awesome kids. The sub was in for the second grade teacher and the entire class seemed awesome, tbh. She just couldn't understand the teacher's plans (which were pretty clear imo) and then kept yelling at the kids to be quiet - they weren't noisy. Then she was mad she didn't have computer access. I don't know what to tell you? Ugh.
budders, I hope V feels better. I hope you didn't think I was trying to push CIO on you yesterday. It definitely is a personal decision and one you're sure you're comfortable doing.
A representative from the county hospital just called to tell us that they are having an emergency press conference at the daycare at 2:30. They refused to tell me anything about what this press conference is about other than "the children are safe". I called up daycare too see if I could get any more information out of them. Again they refused to tell me anything other than "the children are safe", that for whoever received a phone call that attendance is mandatory, and they seemed to imply that only certain people at the daycare received the call, not everyone.
That leads me to believe that Leo has been exposed to something that he hasn't been vaccinated against. That is the only logical thing I can think of. He has only gotten his 2 month shots to date.
Cue freakout. I had to hunt down DH so that he could go because I might not be able to make it to daycare in time for it as I work about 20+ miles away.
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