*knockknock* may I come in?
Oct 17, 2015 4:37:30 GMT -5
Post by muscari on Oct 17, 2015 4:37:30 GMT -5
Hey ladies, was wondering whether you have room for one more? 
I'm not sure what's going on with me, but instead of feeling excited and happy that we get to burn the bench I'm just feeling so out of sorts and overwhelmed. I guess it's a combination of, well, everything together... This month marks 2 years of TTC and when I pause and think about all that's happened, the hope and heartache.. I'm just not a happy camper. I think the fact that MH is turning 50 next week also isn't helping.. Of course it always was a bit of a joke, but I used to say I'd give him a baby for his 50th.. Now all I can think of is some lego or a lawnmower lol pfff.
When we started TTC again after the MC I was so full of hope. Even tho it took us 15 months to get pregnant in the first place, we did get KU so surely it'd happen again soonish? All came crashing down with the Asherman's Syndrome dx. And even though we now got the green light for TTC again, there's just so much to consider and I'm feeling rushed and stressed out. A 30% chance of AS reoccurence (esp those next 4-6 months are crucial but it can always come back at random, and apperently 100% sure wíll come back if I do happen to get KU again, whether it ends in a MC or healthy baby), our ttc history, my age, my mums POF/premature menopause,... I'm just feeling thoroughly overwhelmed. I'm glad we got the referral to the RE but that just adds to the overwhelmedness somehow. I sort of really enjoyed the peace of mind that being on the bench brought me, and thought I'd be able to hold on to that once we burned the bench but now I just feel stressed out right from the start again (and won't you know it, the first "if you stop stressing about it, it will happen" was uttered already before I had even left the hospital after my hysteroscopy, by the nurse there, wtaf?).
So, meh? Is this the right place for me, or should I move over to 3T/IF permanentally? I love the ladies there and am glad I can read&post there too but CAL just has been my home since I joined TCF and I sorta feel more at place here. So I hope you'll have me... ((hugs))
I'm not sure what's going on with me, but instead of feeling excited and happy that we get to burn the bench I'm just feeling so out of sorts and overwhelmed. I guess it's a combination of, well, everything together... This month marks 2 years of TTC and when I pause and think about all that's happened, the hope and heartache.. I'm just not a happy camper. I think the fact that MH is turning 50 next week also isn't helping.. Of course it always was a bit of a joke, but I used to say I'd give him a baby for his 50th.. Now all I can think of is some lego or a lawnmower lol pfff.
When we started TTC again after the MC I was so full of hope. Even tho it took us 15 months to get pregnant in the first place, we did get KU so surely it'd happen again soonish? All came crashing down with the Asherman's Syndrome dx. And even though we now got the green light for TTC again, there's just so much to consider and I'm feeling rushed and stressed out. A 30% chance of AS reoccurence (esp those next 4-6 months are crucial but it can always come back at random, and apperently 100% sure wíll come back if I do happen to get KU again, whether it ends in a MC or healthy baby), our ttc history, my age, my mums POF/premature menopause,... I'm just feeling thoroughly overwhelmed. I'm glad we got the referral to the RE but that just adds to the overwhelmedness somehow. I sort of really enjoyed the peace of mind that being on the bench brought me, and thought I'd be able to hold on to that once we burned the bench but now I just feel stressed out right from the start again (and won't you know it, the first "if you stop stressing about it, it will happen" was uttered already before I had even left the hospital after my hysteroscopy, by the nurse there, wtaf?).
So, meh? Is this the right place for me, or should I move over to 3T/IF permanentally? I love the ladies there and am glad I can read&post there too but CAL just has been my home since I joined TCF and I sorta feel more at place here. So I hope you'll have me... ((hugs))
DH: 51
If it wasn't so messy I'd also stick 50 candles on his cake... but I think I'll pass on that cause I'd hate to mess up my mums yummie applepie with candlewax! 
