Judgey McJudgerson

[Deleted]

For the record, I did not want or intend for this to turn ugly or hurt anyone's feelings. I just felt like a judgey sanctimommy yesterday and thought others could relate.

maebb tiny shoes are awesome, just not my style (and in my opinion, unnecessary).

Glad to know I'm not alone.

[Deleted]

I completely judge my neighbor-- she has two boys that I've seen, ages probably 8-12ish. They're "home-schooled," and by homeschooled, I mean, they play video games all day and get cursed at by their mother. Yep, I'm totally judging the mother on that one. Their TV is so loud that I hear it over mine if I'm in the living room and can hear the shots from the games they are playing. They looked shocked at me when I walked over a few weeks ago and asked them to turn down their TV because we could hear everything and couldn't get work done.

I'm not knocking homeschooling. I think it's great in most cases, just not when they play video games for 8+ hours a day.

[Deleted]

Oh, and completely 100% judged my aunt for putting a bundle me thingy in her carseat with my baby cousin. Luckily, the nurses told her how bad of an idea it was before she left the hospital and wouldn't let her leave with that still in the car seat.

[elleswarth]

I cringe when I hear mothers tell their babies/kids to "shut up", tell them how bad they are, threaten them with violence or hit them, especially in public. I feel there's a strong psychological issue that's created by belittling your children and putting your hands on them, but especially when done in public, it ads humiliation to it and creates an even bigger problem. I think hitting kids, no matter how hard or in what way is wrong and that there is ALWAYS a better way to deal with things.

[maebb]

Jan 29, 2015 12:37:47 GMT -5 3littleones said:

I judge every single parent who cannot control their children. Not because the child is rambunctious. But because their child is out of control. The kind of parents who are stressed out by the kids behavior but never ever have said the word no to their child. My SIL had her 2yo run for the river she caught him said "why do you scare me like that" and then complained he doesn't listen and doesn't understand why he is out of control. Don't baby your child. And he tells her no all the time and she listens. Why are you letting your child parent you?!

I'm a judgmental B.

@skyler, you probably would have just judged me in the store. DS1 (26 months) wanted to push the shopping cart all by himself. He didn't know where I was going in the store and also isn't the best at steering, so obviously I needed to help him. He kept saying, "Don't touch it, Mommy!" I told him that I was going to touch it, so he needed to share, and he continued tantruming. I told him that he could either push the shopping cart with me, or he could get in the shopping cart and wear the seatbelt, and he didn't like either of those options and continued tantruming. I didn't know what to do, so I picked him up, put the shopping cart back, and left the store without buying anything. A nice lady brought me DS1's shoe that he had kicked off in his little fit. I am kind of new to tantrums and still learning how to deal with it, but I'm sure some people thought I was a bad parent because DS1 wasn't behaving. Oh well.

[3littleones]

Jan 29, 2015 15:12:20 GMT -5 maebb said:

Jan 29, 2015 12:37:47 GMT -5 3littleones said:

I judge every single parent who cannot control their children. Not because the child is rambunctious. But because their child is out of control. The kind of parents who are stressed out by the kids behavior but never ever have said the word no to their child. My SIL had her 2yo run for the river she caught him said "why do you scare me like that" and then complained he doesn't listen and doesn't understand why he is out of control. Don't baby your child. And he tells her no all the time and she listens. Why are you letting your child parent you?!

I'm a judgmental B.

@skyler, you probably would have just judged me in the store. DS1 (26 months) wanted to push the shopping cart all by himself. He didn't know where I was going in the store and also isn't the best at steering, so obviously I needed to help him. He kept saying, "Don't touch it, Mommy!" I told him that I was going to touch it, so he needed to share, and he continued tantruming. I told him that he could either push the shopping cart with me, or he could get in the shopping cart and wear the seatbelt, and he didn't like either of those options and continued tantruming. I didn't know what to do, so I picked him up, put the shopping cart back, and left the store without buying anything. A nice lady brought me DS1's shoe that he had kicked off in his little fit. I am kind of new to tantrums and still learning how to deal with it, but I'm sure some people thought I was a bad parent because DS1 wasn't behaving. Oh well.

Terrible twos are bad I've been there. My guess is, you told your kid no to hitting and biting? Temper tantrums are different that letting your child do whatever they want and can do absolutely nothing wrong.

[maebb]

@skyler, yes, I tell him no (multiple times per day) for things like hitting, yelling, throwing toys, etc. But I still feel like I'm a long way from being able to control his behavior.

[3littleones]

Jan 29, 2015 15:21:57 GMT -5 maebb said:

@skyler, yes, I tell him no (multiple times per day) for things like hitting, yelling, throwing toys, etc. But I still feel like I'm a long way from being able to control his behavior.

maebb I hope you did not take what I said the wrong way. It may have came off the wrong way. It's the parents that don't even try. Not because they are stubborn, rambunctious, independent kids. DD1 is this way. But the ones who's children are literally out of control because they have never been told no or not gotten their way once in life and then the parent's complain about the child's behavior.

[mwilker]

Jan 29, 2015 10:46:44 GMT -5 Jellypepper said:

Yes, I have a co-worker that I'm constantly judging. She smokes in her car, has her 3 yo DD in a high back booster without a 5pt harness, her 14 month old is forward facing, she's always talking about how broke she is but went out drinking over the weekend. I could go on and on.

I feel bad sometimes because she seems like a really nice person who has had a hard life and doesn't always know better. I've got sanctimommy guilt!

In Ohio it is now illegal to smoke in your car with children. I always hated seeing parents smoke in a car with a child inside!

[Jellypepper]

Jan 29, 2015 21:07:15 GMT -5 mwilker said:

Jan 29, 2015 10:46:44 GMT -5 Jellypepper said:

Yes, I have a co-worker that I'm constantly judging. She smokes in her car, has her 3 yo DD in a high back booster without a 5pt harness, her 14 month old is forward facing, she's always talking about how broke she is but went out drinking over the weekend. I could go on and on.

I feel bad sometimes because she seems like a really nice person who has had a hard life and doesn't always know better. I've got sanctimommy guilt!

In Ohio it is now illegal to smoke in your car with children. I always hated seeing parents smoke in a car with a child inside!

This is good to know. I live in Cleveland so I think I'll mention it to her when I return to work. My mother always smoked with me in the car when I was a kid and I hated it so much.

[hazelnut]

I went to a breastfeeding support group yesterday, too, and one woman brought her MIL and another brought her aunt. It was a packed session and people were literally sitting on the floor. There was no room for two extra bodies that were not lactating! The guests just watched awkwardly as more people walked in. I think that had I been one of them I'd have left and waited in the lobby...

[4littlebears]

Jan 29, 2015 15:12:20 GMT -5 maebb said:

Jan 29, 2015 12:37:47 GMT -5 3littleones said:

I judge every single parent who cannot control their children. Not because the child is rambunctious. But because their child is out of control. The kind of parents who are stressed out by the kids behavior but never ever have said the word no to their child. My SIL had her 2yo run for the river she caught him said "why do you scare me like that" and then complained he doesn't listen and doesn't understand why he is out of control. Don't baby your child. And he tells her no all the time and she listens. Why are you letting your child parent you?!

I'm a judgmental B.

@skyler, you probably would have just judged me in the store. DS1 (26 months) wanted to push the shopping cart all by himself. He didn't know where I was going in the store and also isn't the best at steering, so obviously I needed to help him. He kept saying, "Don't touch it, Mommy!" I told him that I was going to touch it, so he needed to share, and he continued tantruming. I told him that he could either push the shopping cart with me, or he could get in the shopping cart and wear the seatbelt, and he didn't like either of those options and continued tantruming. I didn't know what to do, so I picked him up, put the shopping cart back, and left the store without buying anything. A nice lady brought me DS1's shoe that he had kicked off in his little fit. I am kind of new to tantrums and still learning how to deal with it, but I'm sure some people thought I was a bad parent because DS1 wasn't behaving. Oh well.

You did exactly the right thing! I'm the mom scolding her misbehaving, tantruming, fighting kids all the way through the store (telling them no repeatedly and grounding them over and over again) because I don't have the time or energy to come back later. So everyone else has to deal with it right along with me! Probably not the best way to handle it, but it's how I do.

[LaBellaVida]

I judge all the time. I'm not even sorry.
I judge my BIL gf for dressing her newborn baby in shoes, hard sole shoes no less!

I judge the way they choose to live. In a dry cabin, with kids. They poop and pee in buckets, mix in some ash and mulch and save it for fertilizer! Gross!!

I judge people with lack of car seat safety. Get with the times people! Read the links I post on fb. Gain some damn knowledge!

I judge mom's who feed their babies solid food before it's recommended.

I could go on.

[megan81112]

Jan 30, 2015 18:36:01 GMT -5 LaBellaVida said:

I judge all the time. I'm not even sorry.
I judge my BIL gf for dressing her newborn baby in shoes, hard sole shoes no less!

I judge the way they choose to live. In a dry cabin, with kids. They poop and pee in buckets, mix in some ash and mulch and save it for fertilizer! Gross!!

I judge people with lack of car seat safety. Get with the times people! Read the links I post on fb. Gain some damn knowledge!

I judge mom's who feed their babies solid food before it's recommended.

I could go on.

I judge you for judging!

[grommom]

I judged a lady at Costco this morning because she was letting her kid play with the plastic bag you get two loaves in, over his head...like sheesh lady, party some attention to your kid before he suffocates.