AW: Daycare Vent

[Deleted]

Let me start off with saying I love most of the people of the daycare, but I am at a loss of what to do right now.

When she first started I asked that they do paced feeding so she fills up on what I send in as well as reducing any BFING issues. I guess Kaylee doesn't do so well with that and screams so they just give her the bottle and stop to burp, but not as frequently as I would like. I send in 4 3.5oz bottles a day. Some days it lasts her all day and other days *like today* the 4th bottle is given around 230. The problem is she has eaten 4 times and I have pumped 3 times and today I only averaged 3oz/bottle. I will likely thaw a bag of milk and split it between the 4 bottles to up the amount to 4oz/bottle for tomorrow.

I just don't want to start hitting my freezer stash so she can be satisfied at daycare unless I absolutely have to. I don't want her to start expecting more out of me if I can't produce. If it keeps up, I don't know how long this journey will continue.

I am not sure how I am going to keep up with her demands when she isn't here to help regulate and when I don't know which days are going to be good vs. bad. As it is, I am pumping every 2.5 hours. I am going to try to get to Wegmans this week for some mothers Milk tea/fenugreek/lactation cookies. Hopefully that will help. I was going to power pump at 430, but she is going to want to eat when she gets home, so that isn't going to happen.

Sorry this became so long! I just don't know what to do right now and need to vent!

[motownthrowdown]

First off, sorry this is happening. What a pain. When A eventually goes, I'm very concerned about the feedings.

Is it possible she's having a growth spurt?

Pace fed babies don't normally overeat because they can feel themselves getting full. I would maybe go in and talk to them about it, tell them your concerns about how much she's going through there vs at home. I would think it should be pretty similar amounts. Is there any correlation to the "bad days" and any one employee? Or is it totally random?

[motownthrowdown]

Nov 9, 2015 16:49:57 GMT -5 @missava387 said:

We EFF so I probably have no business here but I just want to say 1) I'm sorry this is stressing you and 2) is supplementing an option? I don't know how these things work but I know my LO eats on average 5oz per feeding. I've got to imagine your LO will be eating more soon, as well. I'd hate to see you stressing if she demands more and your body doesn't cooperate

EBF babies don't usually eat more than 5 ounces of breastmilk, from what I've been told. The theory is that the breastmilk can increase in calories as mom's body knows baby is older and needs more, whereas formula is X calories, no matter what. 

[skinandbones]

I went through with DS1. We had worked really hard on figuring out how much he was eating peoe to him starting so we were confident in sending in what we were sending in.

Can you do a weighted fed to check what she takes in? Will she take a pacifer instead of a bottle? Are they trying other methods of soothing her before giving a bottle?

I would also be addressing my concerns with a director or less teacher and pointing out how this would effect things at home. I'm sure you aren't the first mom who they have had this kind of conversation with.

And remeber that breastmilk changed so the volume doesn't increase but the content of the milk changes. DS1 only ever took 4oz until he started regular milk at a year. That's a pretty big difference between FF and BF babies. Good luck.

[abvintage]

So as someone who is constantly battling supply issues I understand your frustrations with the preciousness of Breastmilk. That being said, she may be eating more now. I was told B was finishing all his bottles and eating an extra. It is strange that some days she's eating very little though.

[Deleted]

So, the left is her feeds from Saturday, which is similar to what I feel the daycare feedings should be (drop off is around 730, pickup around 445). The right was her feeds today, there is one missing and I am guessing it should be around 12.


I think I am going to call the director. I only get the "she is having a bad day/eating more frequently " from the same person, so I don't know if she just doesn't have the time/patience for fussy kids or what. I leave pacifiers there for her, but think they use the bottle instead.

H said they want me to send in a 5th bottle. She shouldn't need 5 bottles in 9 hours!!

[laurasuzanne2006]

I agree you shouldn't need a 5th bottle for 9hours. Even four at 3.5 is like 14 oz for 9 hours

[Deleted]

I am going to call an LC tomorrow and see if I can do a weighted feed. The longer I think about it, the worse it makes me feel - like I am depriving her while she is there.

[hopefulreturn]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I'm so scared of what will happen when we go to daycare! We are struggling to keep down anything from a bottle with our reflux, so I'm really worried how much milk I need to send them to keep her fed. I think your plan for weighted feed sounds like a great idea! I'm thinking of doing one before we go to daycare.

[karlamo]

Daycare and BF can be so stressful when mixed. We went through this with DS1. It was a matter of figuring out if he was hungry, eating for comfort or needing to be soothed another way. We ended up sending one smaller bag of frozen BM and told them to use it if it was needed. It got used on occasion. We did increase his bottles too which helped. Once we increased them we never had to increase them again. And once solids were started there would be days when he only took 3 bottles instead of 4.

You could try power pumping on the weekends to get the extra milk you need or maybe add a MOTN pump session in. Both are PITA I know but may help save you a few grey hairs.

[econmarie]

Unfortunately you may not be as responsive to the pump as you are to her sucking, so you may need to pump more than you need to BF. With DD and DS I have to add a pump session after they went to bed to make enough for daycare (3 sessions at work + 1 after their bedtime was usually more than enough). DD took 12 oz a day and DS takes 15 oz a day (and may be ramping up). Good luck!

[misstunes]

Ugh I'm dreading this when I go back too. So sorry. I have found that all slow flow nipples are not created equal and when I leave bottles for someone else I always put the slowest flow nipple on. Luckily L doesn't have any trouble using different nipples. This helps slow down the feeds when grandma is just letting her chug the bottle so even if it's not paved she will usually spit it out when done or fall asleep

[Deleted]

I am using the slow flow medela nipples.

[Deleted]

I would speak with director, as they should be following your instructions to a t.

Keep your chin up, you will figure it out. Plus i dont think its you. I think its them not trying other ways to calm lo and just go straight to feeding.

[Deleted]

I did just call today to see how her day was going and they said it was going a bit better than yesterday, so that is a plus. They say that they do try to make her bottles last 10-15 minutes, but during the breaks she is quite the unhappy baby, which I get that it is frustrating, but I've had her home with someone feeding her like that and she wasn't THAT pissed off. I will update when I read the note she wrote because she said there was a 40 minute period where nothing was consoling her and the just gave her the bottle. My girl does have a temper though.

[pmcd886]

Nov 10, 2015 11:39:42 GMT -5 econmarie said:

Unfortunately you may not be as responsive to the pump as you are to her sucking, so you may need to pump more than you need to BF. With DD and DS I have to add a pump session after they went to bed to make enough for daycare (3 sessions at work + 1 after their bedtime was usually more than enough). DD took 12 oz a day and DS takes 15 oz a day (and may be ramping up). Good luck!

+1 I always had to pump once extra after bed to have enough for daycare.

[seeca022]

It does sound like they are giving her the bottle, even if she isn't hungry.

I EP, so again, different situation but DS2 eats 5 oz bottles. I send 4 to Daycare, but he has never eaten all 4 from 830AM-6ish when I pick him up, so that 4th bottle is typically our last night time bottle.

I am sorry you are so frustrated. Could you try feeding her bottles during the day one day on the weekend (just like they would at Daycare for a full day) to see how she responds?

[hiimjamie]

I send Jake with four 4oz bottles. He's at daycare from 830am to usually 4 when Wife picks him up but I'm not home until 630. He usually has eaten all 4 bottles by the time I get home, but never more and sometimes less. I pump 3 times a day at work and sometimes have to pump more at time to get the 4 bottles. Today I'll definitely have to pump at home. I always pump on the weekends too and usually get an extra 4 bottles worth. I constantly worry that I'm not going to produce enough, so I make sure I get those 4 bottles even if I'm pumping at night. A 5th bottle does seem like a lot especially for the length if time. I'd talk to the director and make sure they're trying other ways to soothe her before giving her the bottle. I make sure Jake gets fed every 3 hours, not sooner.

[Deleted]

This is the note from today.

[jgesi]

Hmm... she should be able to go longer than 2.5 hours between feedings. 5 bottles in a 9 hr period is way too much. Ugh... not sure in have any advice for you, big thinking of you! Maybe talk to your ped or a LC and see if they have any advice or words of wisdom.

[Deleted]

I am wondering if the shorter naps are part of the problem and even overstimulation. When she gets inconsolable shortly after eating we usually take her to a dark, quiet part of the house to get her to calm down - something they can't do there.

[Laverne]

Nov 10, 2015 12:26:12 GMT -5 @jhalula09 said:

I am using the slow flow medela nipples.

they are not really as slow as others out there. It's very eat for LO to chug from those IMO, we preferred the playtex ventaire for that reason

[Deleted]

Maybe I will have H try the toomee tippy bottles we have. Not sure if the flow is any slower though.

[runningmommy519]

Nov 10, 2015 19:44:19 GMT -5 @jhalula09 said:

I am wondering if the shorter naps are part of the problem and even overstimulation. When she gets inconsolable shortly after eating we usually take her to a dark, quiet part of the house to get her to calm down - something they can't do there.

I think you are onto something with the overstimulation and overtired. If the daycare center is anything like what DS1 was in at that age it's extremely loud.

[Deleted]

[/quote]I think you are onto something with the overstimulation and overtired. If the daycare center is anything like what DS1 was in at that age it's extremely loud. [/quote]

It is loud (8 babies total) and bright!

[lindy]

It took me forever to figure out what my daughter was eating at daycare. She actually needed 4.5-5 ozs to feel full from a bottle most days. If she wasn't given that, she'd eat much sooner. I figured out she was eating a lot more than I thought when we were nursing. Nursing is more productive than pumping so they are usually able to get more than you can pump.

[lindy]

Nov 10, 2015 17:44:03 GMT -5 jgesi said:

Hmm... she should be able to go longer than 2.5 hours between feedings. 5 bottles in a 9 hr period is way too much. Ugh... not sure in have any advice for you, big thinking of you! Maybe talk to your ped or a LC and see if they have any advice or words of wisdom.

Not necessarily. My son only lasts 2 hours on a 3.5 oz bottle. To go 3 hours he needs a 5 oz bottle.

[Deleted]

Pumping on their schedule today yielded 2 @ 4oz and 2 @ 3.5oz. I think, starting tomorrow night, I will pump at her last feed before bed as an extra bottle. Although the thought of pumping 6x/day makes me want to cry!

[lindy]

Nov 10, 2015 20:23:25 GMT -5 @jhalula09 said:

Pumping on their schedule today yielded 2 @ 4oz and 2 @ 3.5oz. I think, starting tomorrow night, I will pump at her last feed before bed as an extra bottle. Although the thought of pumping 6x/day makes me want to cry!

I was too lazy and had daycare supplement my daughter from 3-6 months. Once they started solids with her she ate less and didn't need any supplementation. So it might only be temporary for you!

[Deleted]

lindy I asked if that was an option, but she has to have the same formula at home three times before they will give it to her there.