I guess another FFFC is I actually like giving BJs, but I hate his spunk. He's got some funky spunk that gives me all sorts of upset stomach. Reminds me of the S&tC episode with Samantha. But I would never actually ask him to taste it.
I think my reason for disliking them is he takes so fucking long to finish that way. So my mouth hurts and I've normally scraped him by then. He also turns everything into "maybe mommy will give daddy a BJ." It makes me feel like shit.
That's fucked up. I don't care if my kid can't understand the words yet, I'd slap the shit out of DH for that one.
Maybe that's my FFFC I don't say bad things about DH in front of the baby. I also very much expect for him to keep M completely out of sex conversation (ie: why don't you go to sleep so mommy and daddy can have sex). I also don't let him touch me sexually while I'm holding M or in his direct line of sight.
I'm afraid that these things would become habit and M would start noticing them as he gets older.
I also find it makes it so much easier to enjoy sex when the lines aren't super blurred with "mommy mode".
Hate giving BJs...strong gag reflex, hate the smell and taste, and I've never let him finish while it's still in my mouth. There's no reason that stuff has to be in my mouth.
I'm secretly hoping we get the go ahead to start real food at our 4-month appointment. He shows all the signs of being ready, and I'm looking forward to seeing how he responds to all the new tastes.
No one be sorry, seriously! Even I am telling myself to put on my big girl panties. No hard feelings. Like I said, I'm just being dumb and I know that. I love you, notches!
If it makes you feel better, I seriously regret not just being Purp. Or ThePurpatrator. I want to change it, but I have so many posts already...
Post by americanninjamommy on Jan 30, 2015 11:43:27 GMT -5
On BJs - I'll do them, but have a strong gag reflex, hate the taste and will not let him finish in my mouth because I will throw up on him immediately. He likes how I use my hands, so I often use them to finish things off.
My FFFC: At this point, I would be happy and relieved to get fired. I am so tired of the work BS/passive aggressiveness, my boss' shenanigans, and the pressure to perform without being given the authority to do my job. But like darwinfish said, this job is a pair of golden handcuffs. I make good money and my student loans, mortgage, and daycare have us strapped down enough that if I lose my job, we would have to make fast drastic changes in our lifestyle and possible move out of the area. Makes me wish I never started my doctorate...
I regret going to business school because the loans keep me from even entertaining staying home out of guilt.
Sometimes I hate that I'm good at what I do because my stock awards that vest in 3 years will likely buy us a house, and even though DH says he would understand if I walked away from that, it would probably eat away at my conscious forever. I feel like they're basically golden handcuffs.
That has to suck just as hard as not being able to afford staying at home. Sorry. Handcuffs, golden or not, suck (most of the time )
I really wish it wasn't an all or nothing scenario for women.
I think my reason for disliking them is he takes so fucking long to finish that way. So my mouth hurts and I've normally scraped him by then. He also turns everything into "maybe mommy will give daddy a BJ." It makes me feel like shit.
That's fucked up. I don't care if my kid can't understand the words yet, I'd slap the shit out of DH for that one.
Maybe that's my FFFC I don't say bad things about DH in front of the baby. I also very much expect for him to keep M completely out of sex conversation (ie: why don't you go to sleep so mommy and daddy can have sex). I also don't let him touch me sexually while I'm holding M or in his direct line of sight.
I'm afraid that these things would become habit and M would start noticing them as he gets older.
I also find it makes it so much easier to enjoy sex when the lines aren't super blurred with "mommy mode".
Totally understand the sex thing.
I grew up with an extremely unaffectionate mother. I never heard my parents say they loved each other, and my mother would shudder when my dad hugged her.
DH and I say I love you whenever we leave the house, and I do plan on continuing that as S grows. I want him to grow up with that example, and for him to see us hug occasionally because I think how we see our parents interact influences how we behave in that regard.
Basically I want S to know that his parents love each other and that it's okay for men to say I love you.
My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
I regret going to business school because the loans keep me from even entertaining staying home out of guilt.
Sometimes I hate that I'm good at what I do because my stock awards that vest in 3 years will likely buy us a house, and even though DH says he would understand if I walked away from that, it would probably eat away at my conscious forever. I feel like they're basically golden handcuffs.
I'm sorry you have that on your mind. You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. Fucking mommy guilt is an asshole.
I guess another FFFC is I actually like giving BJs, but I hate his spunk. He's got some funky spunk that gives me all sorts of upset stomach. Reminds me of the S&tC episode with Samantha. But I would never actually ask him to taste it.
I think my reason for disliking them is he takes so fucking long to finish that way. So my mouth hurts and I've normally scraped him by then. He also turns everything into "maybe mommy will give daddy a BJ." It makes me feel like shit.
Same. I ain't got all day. He normally takes too long for my attention span no matter how we do it. Like. I understand some lady's want that. I don't. I have shit to do. Plus, I have TMJ, and the anacockda is a challenge. I'm all miserable and naked, squatting or whatever around his dick. I hate it.
BUUUUT I should probably do it this weekend. ALL THE WINE. I'm sure I'll post about it, don't worry.
That's fucked up. I don't care if my kid can't understand the words yet, I'd slap the shit out of DH for that one.
Maybe that's my FFFC I don't say bad things about DH in front of the baby. I also very much expect for him to keep M completely out of sex conversation (ie: why don't you go to sleep so mommy and daddy can have sex). I also don't let him touch me sexually while I'm holding M or in his direct line of sight.
I'm afraid that these things would become habit and M would start noticing them as he gets older.
I also find it makes it so much easier to enjoy sex when the lines aren't super blurred with "mommy mode".
Totally understand the sex thing.
I grew up with an extremely unaffectionate mother. I never heard my parents say they loved each other, and my mother would shudder when my dad hugged her.
DH and I say I love you whenever we leave the house, and I do plan on continuing that as S grows. I want him to grow up with that example, and for him to see us hug occasionally because I think how we see our parents interact influences how we behave in that regard.
Basically I want S to know that his parents love each other and that it's okay for men to say I love you.
Affection and I love yous, yes. Sexy time foreplay or sex guilt, no.
We hold hands and hug a good bit and hope it continues as lo gets bigger and mobile.
Another FFFC: I don't blame my parents for not having another child for a moment, but I feel like being an only child didn't help my social skills at all. I've had trouble interacting with people my whole life and I wish I had made more of an effort or something when I was little because I'm paying for it now.
Post by bazingabee on Jan 30, 2015 11:52:36 GMT -5
I have the same regrets as darwinfish and americanninjamommy about my advanced degree. I wish I didn't go to law school. I've been actively seeking work since graduating/passing the bar, but the landscape for legal work in my state is non-existent. There are a few jobs, but they're mostly in the big metro area and I can't work 8+ hours and drive 2+ hours to get there and back every day (just bought a house in Sept. so moving isn't an option). DH is constantly pressuring me to apply to those jobs and I can't make him understand I didn't have a kid so he would never see either of his parents. Student loans are killing us, but thankfully they're government so I can do IBR, it's just horrible all around though.
That's fucked up. I don't care if my kid can't understand the words yet, I'd slap the shit out of DH for that one.
Maybe that's my FFFC I don't say bad things about DH in front of the baby. I also very much expect for him to keep M completely out of sex conversation (ie: why don't you go to sleep so mommy and daddy can have sex). I also don't let him touch me sexually while I'm holding M or in his direct line of sight.
I'm afraid that these things would become habit and M would start noticing them as he gets older.
I also find it makes it so much easier to enjoy sex when the lines aren't super blurred with "mommy mode".
Totally understand the sex thing.
I grew up with an extremely unaffectionate mother. I never heard my parents say they loved each other, and my mother would shudder when my dad hugged her.
DH and I say I love you whenever we leave the house, and I do plan on continuing that as S grows. I want him to grow up with that example, and for him to see us hug occasionally because I think how we see our parents interact influences how we behave in that regard.
Basically I want S to know that his parents love each other and that it's okay for men to say I love you.
I agree. I think it also has a lot to do with security. My mom grabs my dad's butt *gag* but I've never thought "what if they divorce!" ever. Your kids need to see how a healthy relationship works
I grew up with an extremely unaffectionate mother. I never heard my parents say they loved each other, and my mother would shudder when my dad hugged her.
DH and I say I love you whenever we leave the house, and I do plan on continuing that as S grows. I want him to grow up with that example, and for him to see us hug occasionally because I think how we see our parents interact influences how we behave in that regard.
Basically I want S to know that his parents love each other and that it's okay for men to say I love you.
Affection and I love yous, yes. Sexy time foreplay or sex guilt, no.
We hold hands and hug a good bit and hope it continues as lo gets bigger and mobile.
Agree - mommy time and sex kitten time are mutually exclusive lol
My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
Hate giving BJs...strong gag reflex, hate the smell and taste, and I've never let him finish while it's still in my mouth. There's no reason that stuff has to be in my mouth.
I'm secretly hoping we get the go ahead to start real food at our 4-month appointment. He shows all the signs of being ready, and I'm looking forward to seeing how he responds to all the new tastes.
Ok, I hate it, but if I'm already there, I'm gonna swallow it. I don't even know what one would do...
I have the same regrets as darwinfish and americanninjamommy about my advanced degree. I wish I didn't go to law school. I've been actively seeking work since graduating/passing the bar, but the landscape for legal work in my state is non-existent. There are a few jobs, but they're mostly in the big metro area and I can't work 8+ hours and drive 2+ hours to get there and back every day (just bought a house in Sept. so moving isn't an option). DH is constantly pressuring me to apply to those jobs and I can't make him understand I didn't have a kid so he would never see either of his parents. Student loans are killing us, but thankfully they're government so I can do IBR, it's just horrible all around though.
I am a fan of education and advanced degrees, but you bring up a good point about where the jobs are and what you do with that degree. I started my doctorate for a number of reasons and before pregnancy, but I quickly began to question what I would be able to do with it other than order new business cards and lecture. My corporate experience does not lend itself to an easy crossover to teaching at a university (or at least that's the impression I've been given) AND what I would take in a pay cut potentially wouldn't help us pay off loans.
The other piece you mention that hits close to home is where the jobs are. I have a long commute (not distance, but with traffic) and on a good, slow day at work, I get to see my kid maybe 3 hours a day before he passes out. I think it's a common issue that every working mom deals with. I know I am lucky in a lots of ways (like having weekends off) and I need to be grateful for a lot of aspects of the job I hate. There are many other working moms that deal with tougher situations and do it with a smile.
I think my reason for disliking them is he takes so fucking long to finish that way. So my mouth hurts and I've normally scraped him by then. He also turns everything into "maybe mommy will give daddy a BJ." It makes me feel like shit.
That's fucked up. I don't care if my kid can't understand the words yet, I'd slap the shit out of DH for that one.
Maybe that's my FFFC I don't say bad things about DH in front of the baby. I also very much expect for him to keep M completely out of sex conversation (ie: why don't you go to sleep so mommy and daddy can have sex). I also don't let him touch me sexually while I'm holding M or in his direct line of sight.
I'm afraid that these things would become habit and M would start noticing them as he gets older.
I also find it makes it so much easier to enjoy sex when the lines aren't super blurred with "mommy mode".
STUCK IN A BOX Totally agree. SO used to try and touch Me while I had DS in my arms. I hated it and told him not to be sexual in front of our son. I think it could cause a lot of confusion. I swear I read a thread on TB where a woman's H basically got her to give him a BJ while nursing her baby. Huge flaming.
I regret going to business school because the loans keep me from even entertaining staying home out of guilt.
Sometimes I hate that I'm good at what I do because my stock awards that vest in 3 years will likely buy us a house, and even though DH says he would understand if I walked away from that, it would probably eat away at my conscious forever. I feel like they're basically golden handcuffs.
I'm sorry you have that on your mind. You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. Fucking mommy guilt is an asshole.
It's the worst and on top of that I have to try not to resent DH for moving away from trading at work to a less lucrative area. I know his happiness and long term job security are most important and he made the right choice, but if he was still a trader I probably wouldn't feel so guilty. He was right to make the move, banks and hedge funds are automating trading now and there are guys with 30 years experience who have been unemployed for years now because the job market for them sucks, but part of me is still resentful.
And I hate when people say, ohhhh, there's no way GDF could ever stay home, blah, blah. Stop putting words in my mouth. It just reminds me of when people told me they couldn't never picture me as a mom and that they couldn't imagine me wanting kids.
Sorry I'm rambling, this has been on my mind and I can't voice the resentment to my friends because I feel like that's not fair to DH because he's friends with their husbands.
My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
That's fucked up. I don't care if my kid can't understand the words yet, I'd slap the shit out of DH for that one.
Maybe that's my FFFC I don't say bad things about DH in front of the baby. I also very much expect for him to keep M completely out of sex conversation (ie: why don't you go to sleep so mommy and daddy can have sex). I also don't let him touch me sexually while I'm holding M or in his direct line of sight.
I'm afraid that these things would become habit and M would start noticing them as he gets older.
I also find it makes it so much easier to enjoy sex when the lines aren't super blurred with "mommy mode".
Totally understand the sex thing.
I grew up with an extremely unaffectionate mother. I never heard my parents say they loved each other, and my mother would shudder when my dad hugged her.
DH and I say I love you whenever we leave the house, and I do plan on continuing that as S grows. I want him to grow up with that example, and for him to see us hug occasionally because I think how we see our parents interact influences how we behave in that regard.
Basically I want S to know that his parents love each other and that it's okay for men to say I love you.
DH and I are super mushy like that. We say I love you ALL the time and are very affectionate. Our nephew thinks we're gross It's one of the things that I value about our relationship and samesies to your last sentence that I can't highlight. I also want ANB to understand that it's ok for men to cry. DH has been moved to tears on many occasions and I love that he has such a tender heart. It's kind of surprising with his "dangerous black man" exterior
That's fucked up. I don't care if my kid can't understand the words yet, I'd slap the shit out of DH for that one.
Maybe that's my FFFC I don't say bad things about DH in front of the baby. I also very much expect for him to keep M completely out of sex conversation (ie: why don't you go to sleep so mommy and daddy can have sex). I also don't let him touch me sexually while I'm holding M or in his direct line of sight.
I'm afraid that these things would become habit and M would start noticing them as he gets older.
I also find it makes it so much easier to enjoy sex when the lines aren't super blurred with "mommy mode".
Totally agree. SO used to try and touch Me while I had DS in my arms. I hated it and told him not to be sexual in front of our son. I think it could cause a lot of confusion. I swear I read a thread on TB where a woman's H basically got her to give him a BJ while nursing her baby. Huge flaming.
No one be sorry, seriously! Even I am telling myself to put on my big girl panties. No hard feelings. Like I said, I'm just being dumb and I know that. I love you, notches!
If it makes you feel better, I seriously regret not just being Purp. Or ThePurpatrator. I want to change it, but I have so many posts already...
..., did anyone else notice @ladywithababy liked this? Ladytryingtobecreepy
My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
That's fucked up. I don't care if my kid can't understand the words yet, I'd slap the shit out of DH for that one.
Maybe that's my FFFC I don't say bad things about DH in front of the baby. I also very much expect for him to keep M completely out of sex conversation (ie: why don't you go to sleep so mommy and daddy can have sex). I also don't let him touch me sexually while I'm holding M or in his direct line of sight.
I'm afraid that these things would become habit and M would start noticing them as he gets older.
I also find it makes it so much easier to enjoy sex when the lines aren't super blurred with "mommy mode".
Totally understand the sex thing.
I grew up with an extremely unaffectionate mother. I never heard my parents say they loved each other, and my mother would shudder when my dad hugged her.
DH and I say I love you whenever we leave the house, and I do plan on continuing that as S grows. I want him to grow up with that example, and for him to see us hug occasionally because I think how we see our parents interact influences how we behave in that regard.
Basically I want S to know that his parents love each other and that it's okay for men to say I love you.
BF isn't mushy at all. I think half the time he says I love you after I say it is because he knows it bums me out when he doesn't respond to mine. I've never heard his parents or sister and BIL say it.
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