Help...or solidarity
Nov 29, 2015 15:29:58 GMT -5
Post by mandie on Nov 29, 2015 15:29:58 GMT -5
I EP my 2 month old. She was a preemie and had issues that extended her NICU stay when we were really pushing BF. The issues had nothing to do per se with BF, but I didn't feel comfortable not knowing how much she was taking in. After coming home, I continued to pump, because 1) she gets 3 fortified bottles a day, so I'd be pumping anyway 2) my supply was triple what she needed, so I'd either deal with pain or pump anyway and 3) I have a toddler at home, so nursing, bottle feeding and pumping sounded harder than just pumping and bottle feeding.
I have tried to see the positive side. It is way easier to leave her, although I don't have the bond with her that I had with DS (which is probably due to a lot more than not EBF). I pump 40 oz a day, so I burn a ton of calories. I have close to 2000oz in the freezer, so I will drop to 1-2 pumps at 6 months and just supplement with frozen. I have already dropped to just 4 pumping sessions a day.
But I hate it. I hate it so much. I feel like it interferes with my ability to have fun with my kids, my ability to sleep well overnight, and my ability to enjoy the process.
Will EP get easier? Will I become less resentful? Is it all part of the suckiness that is having a newborn? I feel like she is regressing into more of a newborn instead of the fussiness easing up, which I guess is appropriate since her adjusted age is 3 weeks. But I feel like any light at the end of the tunnel is really far away, especially when it comes to pumping. But if I had some reassurance that it does get better, that would be really helpful. And if you can't give me reassurance, then I'd love stories of how you felt in the dark days of pumping and anything you did to power through.
edit: sorry for the dear diary. It got long.
I have tried to see the positive side. It is way easier to leave her, although I don't have the bond with her that I had with DS (which is probably due to a lot more than not EBF). I pump 40 oz a day, so I burn a ton of calories. I have close to 2000oz in the freezer, so I will drop to 1-2 pumps at 6 months and just supplement with frozen. I have already dropped to just 4 pumping sessions a day.
But I hate it. I hate it so much. I feel like it interferes with my ability to have fun with my kids, my ability to sleep well overnight, and my ability to enjoy the process.
Will EP get easier? Will I become less resentful? Is it all part of the suckiness that is having a newborn? I feel like she is regressing into more of a newborn instead of the fussiness easing up, which I guess is appropriate since her adjusted age is 3 weeks. But I feel like any light at the end of the tunnel is really far away, especially when it comes to pumping. But if I had some reassurance that it does get better, that would be really helpful. And if you can't give me reassurance, then I'd love stories of how you felt in the dark days of pumping and anything you did to power through.
edit: sorry for the dear diary. It got long.