Oh my god - clomid + IUI with greater than 20 million sperm = 9% chance.
Hugs Joy. This website sent me spiraling. Fucking IF.
You know you're dealing with IF when you see the 14% chance under IUI+injects and get *psyched* because it's so much higher than the 2% natural conception chance your RE has given you
Hugs Joy. This website sent me spiraling. Fucking IF.
You know you're dealing with IF when you see the 14% chance under IUI+injects and get *psyched* because it's so much higher than the 2% natural conception chance your RE has given you
You know you're dealing with IF when you see the 14% chance under IUI+injects and get *psyched* because it's so much higher than the 2% natural conception chance your RE has given you
Guise, I can't decide if I am being unreasonable or DH is being insensitive. My first IUI is tomorrow, as was fairly predictable given when this cycle started. When I told DH the appointment time last night, he got all up in arms because at some point this week he apparently had arranged to go take pictures of a friend's baby tomorrow and then record a beer podcast with another friend. He's an amateur photographer and writes a beer blog in his spare time, so it's not like either of these things is a paid gig or professional obligation.
Now he wants to just drop his specimen off at the RE and head straight to the friend's house - an hour+ away - for this photo shoot, and have me go in separately/alone for the IUI. If it was a workday I would expect to do it that way because jobs, yo, but since it's a Saturday I was hoping we'd go over there together, hang out between appointments, celebrate our first "treatment" TWW after the IUI, etc.
He says it would be a jerk move to blow them off, but it feels like he's cool with blowing me off to go hang out with his friends (and their baby) while I'm having a medical procedure to try to make our baby. And I'm butthurt about it.
Please tell me if I am actually being stupid, because I don't totally trust my own emotions right now with all the hormones I've taken lately.
Guise, I can't decide if I am being unreasonable or DH is being insensitive. My first IUI is tomorrow, as was fairly predictable given when this cycle started. When I told DH the appointment time last night, he got all up in arms because at some point this week he apparently had arranged to go take pictures of a friend's baby tomorrow and then record a beer podcast with another friend. He's an amateur photographer and writes a beer blog in his spare time, so it's not like either of these things is a paid gig or professional obligation.
Now he wants to just drop his specimen off at the RE and head straight to the friend's house - an hour+ away - for this photo shoot, and have me go in separately/alone for the IUI. If it was a workday I would expect to do it that way because jobs, yo, but since it's a Saturday I was hoping we'd go over there together, hang out between appointments, celebrate our first "treatment" TWW after the IUI, etc.
He says it would be a jerk move to blow them off, but it feels like he's cool with blowing me off to go hang out with his friends (and their baby) while I'm having a medical procedure to try to make our baby. And I'm butthurt about it.
Please tell me if I am actually being stupid, because I don't totally trust my own emotions right now with all the hormones I've taken lately.
I think I'd be pretty hurt about that too - like you said, it's one thing if it's a paid job, but it's basically him choosing a favor for someone else over being there for you during what I'm sure could be an emotional day. I also would think that the friends would be understanding, and if they are all upset about it, well, perhaps they're not the kind of people to be doing favors for - "What do you mean, you can't come take our photos for free because your wife is having a medical procedure and you'd like to be there with her?!?"
achromia I agree with Daisy. It's perfectly normal to be upset about something like this.
Actually, I was kind of in a similar place awhile ago...but on the other side. I used to put my friends before my husband because I thought it was okay. I completely took him for granted and I didn't really understand how much it hurt and frustrated him until he sat me down and we talked about it.
He's allowed to have friends, obviously, but I really think that you need to have a heart to heart with him about this. If he thinks it's nbd and it's really not, he needs to have that brought to his attention. This is important to you plus it involves him and in so being, it should be important to him, too. If you need the support, ask for it. If his friends can't understand that he needs to be there for the woman he married and chose to spend his life with, they don't need to be his friends anymore.
achromia, I agree with Daisy and Rama as well. Missing for work or a paid job = understandable I would be pretty bummed too if I was in the same situation.
And I would say the same thing as Rama in the case of if the friends can't understand that, they aren't the best friends to begin with.
achromia, is he able to push back the photo shoot and beer blog thing an hour or so? That way everyone "wins." He can be with you for the IUI, then go do his previous photo engagement and do a podcast with his beer buds.
Post by requiressnacks on Dec 11, 2015 12:38:10 GMT -5
achromia, I had my first IUI on a Sunday and I let MH stay home for no particular reason. He got to watch football and scratch his balls. Then I got to the waiting room and everyone waiting for an IUI had their partner there. I felt lonely. I don't think I'd have it sit out a weekend IUI again. Weekday, probably. But not weekend.
achromia, is he able to push back the photo shoot and beer blog thing an hour or so? That way everyone "wins." He can be with you for the IUI, then go do his previous photo engagement and do a podcast with his beer buds.
We talked about this possibility, but it would have to be 3 hours or so. He was worried that he was inconveniencing them by not being able to arrive until 1 instead of 10 as he originally said. I kinda think that with a 3 month old, they're not likely to have other big plans for the afternoon, but what do I know? I might bring it up again.
Thanks for your insights, ladies. I wouldn't say DH makes a habit of putting friends before me, but he does get a little weird about his "beer friends." I don't know these people because he met them all online via Twitter and Facebook groups for beer nerds. I don't drink beer myself, so I rarely go along when he hangs out with them. It just seems particularly annoying for one of these things to happen to be tomorrow.
I will admit that I'm a also little miffed because his mom is staying with us tonight and I will have to entertain her by myself all day tomorrow after the IUI while he's off playing. Le sigh.
achromia I'm sorry, but your husband is being a weenie. It's your first IUI! It's a big deal! I would be pissed too. I'm sorry, but after all the procedures and BS that we have to go through with IF treatment, our partners should be supportive, and like you said, it's not like these are must-do obligations for him. Plus he had an idea of when your IUI date would be ahead of time, and he still made alternate plans.
I would let him make the decision for himself, but I would also not shy away from letting him know that you're disappointed if he decides not to come. I agree with Daikoku that asking him to push an hour or two would be an amenable compromise. IUIs do not take long after they process the sample because they need to get it in you right away.
emilie , no need to be sorry! I was thinking something similar myself, but it's good to hear someone confirm it independently.
oh and forgot to say, good luck tomorrow!!
Thank you! I'm sorry they had to poke around so much to get your catheter in right - I'll be taking your advice and having a few sips of water in the waiting room!
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