Family/In law vents

[flyoffeve]

My sister...my mom is staying with us for two weeks to watch the baby while I am at work. My mom is from out of town several hours north of us and my sister lives several hours south of us. My sister wants to drop her child off at my house tomorrow through Saturday so that she can go out of town for the weekend. My sister lived with my parents the first several years of her child's life, so she had her time of babysitting. I am only asking for two weeks. I feel like she is encroaching on my time to have my mom, baby, and me together. Also, I do not like the idea of having another kid in the house right now- I get home tired and just want to snuggle in peace (when baby is peaceful or soothe him when not).

Edit to add: This is not a knock to STM/TTM, it would be different if it was my kid as the second one in the house, because he/she would always be there.

[sewfie2]

@saveourship, your in-laws are dumb and rude.

flyoffeve, I agree with somesay on telling your sister no. A big, definitive no. I would talk to your mom too, in case your sister tries to weasel her way in through her ("well, mom said she can handle it.").

[vshumway]

Dec 9, 2015 7:11:38 GMT -5 flyoffeve said:

My sister...my mom is staying with us for two weeks to watch the baby while I am at work. My mom is from out of town several hours north of us and my sister lives several hours south of us. My sister wants to drop her child off at my house tomorrow through Saturday so that she can go out of town for the weekend. My sister lived with my parents the first several years of her child's life, so she had her time of babysitting. I am only asking for two weeks. I feel like she is encroaching on my time to have my mom, baby, and me together. Also, I do not like the idea of having another kid in the house right now- I get home tired and just want to snuggle in peace (when baby is peaceful or soothe him when not).

Edit to add: This is not a knock to STM/TTM, it would be different if it was my kid as the second one in the house, because he/she would always be there.

Ummm no. This is the time for your mom to bind with your baby. And it is effing exhausting to have a toddler and a baby. We just spent the weekend at my parents house. Even though they have outlet covers, cabinet locks, and a gate in the stairs, the house was not toddler proofed. Most of the things she could reach were glass or cords. It was so tiring to watch her every single second, especially while trying to feed a baby. Your mom was be so tired each day. 

[vshumway]

@saveourship that's weird. They do realize that they are the grandparents, not the parents? The should only worry about presents coming from them and nothing else.

[sewfie2]

My parents are planning to come up (I finally got dates from them) and they seem excited, which is good I suppose, since they were completely uninterested in the pregnancy.

But, them traveling is a really stressful thing for the rest of the family. My mom has to stop every two hours and I don't think they really pay attention to road signs, so they end up getting lost and due to some cognitive issues, they're not great at explaining where they are so you can direct them. What would take most people 10 hours takes them literally 15 hours. And then my maternal aunt starts to freak out (she's a naturally anxious person), especially if they don't answer their phones. The fastest route is the hardest route (mostly off the major highways), but the easier routes will add at least a couple of hours to their trip.
Also, I'm going to have to tell them to go to my aunt's vacation house (in their town, thankfully) to wash all of their clothes and everything before they come up. My brother is an insanely heavy smoker and still lives at home, so it's all over them. I hate going to their house, being in their even 5 minutes makes your hair and clothes reek! They know about the smell, because I've told them before, but they would never think to do anything about it before coming up here and holding my baby.

[lepeters]

@saveourship I understand how you feel. DH's mom and grandma make comments about how our baby will want for nothing (they think we spoil him). His grandma has made comments about our fancy stroller ( i spent $350 and that included a car seat) and his mom always wants to know how much things cost which if feel is very rude. Then she calls the other day to tell me that DS pile for Christmas is pretty big. I told them he doesn't need anything he is only going to be three months old. I said the only thing he needs is a jolly jumper. Yet we are the ones who spoil him cause I wanted to get him an exersaucer for Christmas and other than a book that is all we were getting him.
PS in laws you can't spoil a baby they don't know what stuff is.

[cnbpa3027]

Dec 9, 2015 8:04:35 GMT -5 @saveourship said:

Dec 8, 2015 21:34:48 GMT -5 somesay said:

My biggest problem is their implication that we were basically going to mooch and let them do everything when we never intended to have them do anything.

This kind of makes me laugh because this is exactly what my brother in law does with my in laws. They stay with them because they know that my MIL will do all of the Santa stuff for their son and they won't have to. Things may change when he is a little older, but only time will tell.