Stupid question - do we then check in on when we change to a new week? Like my week 16 will be Thursday so I check in the Thursday one? Clearly I'm new at this...
Stupid question - do we then check in on when we change to a new week? Like my week 16 will be Thursday so I check in the Thursday one? Clearly I'm new at this...
Stupid question - do we then check in on when we change to a new week? Like my week 16 will be Thursday so I check in the Thursday one? Clearly I'm new at this...
Yea, that's what my thought was.
thanks! I like that! But maybe not daily maybe group them together like Andrea and babyzebra suggested.
I am sure this UO will get flamed, and I am sorry because I know it sounds judgy. I am against crying kids with santa pictures. Remember - i work im sexual assault prevention, treatment, etc... I teach people everyday, and feel in my heart, it is wrong to make kids sit on the lap (or hug or kiss) ANYONE they do not want to. And then to take a picture? Heck no. It is their body and from day one we need to teach them healthy boundaries and that THEY are in charge of who touches it.
I get where you're coming from with this, but I'll say that any time I've seen a kid end up in tears on Santa's lap, it's almost always a case of the kid being super excited to see Santa while they're waiting in line and then freaking out once they're actually sitting on his lap. At that point, the kid is already there and the person behind the camera is already taking pictures because they tend to move things along pretty quickly. And again, I've always seen the parents swoop right in to rescue them and calm them down.
Kids change their minds about things at the drop of a hat, and parents aren't always able to predict how and why those changes in heart are going to happen so I don't think it's fair to assume that the parent forced a distressed kid to do something that they were genuinely upset about. I think that judging anything based on one snapshot in time is a little overboard because you don't know what happened leading up to that moment, ya know?
I'm amused that the daily randoms you want to make weekly but the check-ins split up for being "unwieldy"
I find it slightly ironic.
(I'm not knocking it! My last BMB and most tend to do daily or partials, but there's still less participation in a check in than a random thread)
You're reading my mind! I was typing this out almost to the exact word. I don't really care who posts or when or how.
We seem to have a small group of regular posters and some drive-by posters occasionally, so I'm not sure that a daily check-in would work here.
I've also never understood the mentality that a randoms thread discourages other threads from being posted. If you have something to say, post it!! I guarantee people will respond.
I'm amused that the daily randoms you want to make weekly but the check-ins split up for being "unwieldy"
I find it slightly ironic.
(I'm not knocking it! My last BMB and most tend to do daily or partials, but there's still less participation in a check in than a random thread)
You're reading my mind! I was typing this out almost to the exact word. I don't really care who posts or when or how.
We seem to have a small group of regular posters and some drive-by posters occasionally, so I'm not sure that a daily check-in would work here.
I've also never understood the mentality that a randoms thread discourages other threads from being posted. If you have something to say, post it!! I guarantee people will respond.
LOL, I was thinking the same thing but I thought I was a minority.
I feel that since most of us are getting to know each other, the daily randoms felt like a good way to kinda keep tabs and feel each other out. I probably will not touch a really long randoms thread often cause I just can't keep with with work and TCFing on that level. Just my two cents.
I'm confused. I figured you just check in on the weekly check in with wherever you are in the week, not just when you switch to a new week. What difference does it make if you are 12wk3d or 13 wk? It's just where you are and what you have going on at that time. Am I missing something?
When I was on F16 for a brief time, they did daily "ticker change" check-ins. I thought it was kind of fun to always have a smaller check-in with the same people. For example, since my ticker changes weeks on Thursdays, I'd participate in the Thursday ticker change. Just another thought.
This is also what my M14 (March) board did. Then everyone checked in when they changed and the only surprise was you may see what size baby would be a week or two out but you could also reflect back and see what they were in the past.
Post by Flair Underwood on Dec 11, 2015 9:47:06 GMT -5
I do see what you're saying, completely, soultrane . And I know I cant/shouldn't judge in every situation - but I see it at our mall: Kid obviously doesn't want to sit on a stranger's lap, but the parents force them to anyway. I hate it. I think most women here are decent enough people that if their kid made it clear they didn't want to do something - that they wouldn't make them do it (things like vaccinations/doctor visits/necessities of life not included) Unfortunately - a lot of people AREN'T that way. And nothing to apologize for, txmommy14 !
I'm amused that the daily randoms you want to make weekly but the check-ins split up for being "unwieldy"
I find it slightly ironic.
(I'm not knocking it! My last BMB and most tend to do daily or partials, but there's still less participation in a check in than a random thread)
For the record, because unwieldy was my word, just want to clarify I'd be up for splitting check-ins (though I trend IDGAF) but I am actually in the camp of daily randoms.
I'm confused. I figured you just check in on the weekly check in with wherever you are in the week, not just when you switch to a new week. What difference does it make if you are 12wk3d or 13 wk? It's just where you are and what you have going on at that time. Am I missing something?
I get what you're saying. It doesn't make a difference (I plan to participate either way). When determining how to split up a check-in, I think this is seen as a fun way to celebrate another week gone by. Like a "yay, I hit a new week, time to check in" thing.
I am sure this UO will get flamed, and I am sorry because I know it sounds judgy. I am against crying kids with santa pictures. Remember - i work im sexual assault prevention, treatment, etc... I teach people everyday, and feel in my heart, it is wrong to make kids sit on the lap (or hug or kiss) ANYONE they do not want to. And then to take a picture? Heck no. It is their body and from day one we need to teach them healthy boundaries and that THEY are in charge of who touches it.
I get where you're coming from with this, but I'll say that any time I've seen a kid end up in tears on Santa's lap, it's almost always a case of the kid being super excited to see Santa while they're waiting in line and then freaking out once they're actually sitting on his lap. At that point, the kid is already there and the person behind the camera is already taking pictures because they tend to move things along pretty quickly. And again, I've always seen the parents swoop right in to rescue them and calm them down.
Kids change their minds about things at the drop of a hat, and parents aren't always able to predict how and why those changes in heart are going to happen so I don't think it's fair to assume that the parent forced a distressed kid to do something that they were genuinely upset about. I think that judging anything based on one snapshot in time is a little overboard because you don't know what happened leading up to that moment, ya know?
I agree with this! But I can totally see where Flair Underwood is coming from too. I have the most hilarious picture of DS sitting on Santa's lap this year that daycare took where DS looks so mad. I have no doubt that daycare had good intentions and that they didn't keep him on Santa's lap for long.
I work with kids all day long. Most of them are super awesome, but some of them are less awesome and tend to freak out over things that are really NBD. I see this behavior every day and I think the reaction to Santa is kind of the same. That's why there is a part of me that finds these pictures hilarious. I feel like other people get to see the kind of behavior that I work with all day long.
Flair Underwood, totally agree. If I saw a parent in line with who was clearly not happy with the whole Santa situation and the parent made them do it anyway, I would probably judge too and might even say something in the moment. Seeing pictures online though, I usually chalk it up to a good experience turned bad, and the parents trying to laugh at the memory. I've just always seen it happen the other way and wanted to offer the other perspective.
Full disclosure, DS could have very well ended up as a crying Santa picture last year. He was SO excited to meet Santa and was jumping up in down in line with anticipation. Once it was his turn, he ran up to him and immediately froze. Our picture ended up with me sitting in Santa's chair, DS in my lap (with no tears thankfully!), and Santa standing beside us. The picture is hilarious, the memory makes me smile, and DS has told us that he'll sit NEXT to Santa this year but not on his lap, and I'm totally ok with that. We're actually planning to go this weekend so we'll see how it plays out in real life.
Post by Flair Underwood on Dec 11, 2015 10:51:18 GMT -5
I suppose in the interest of full disclosure and UO - I am still not sure how I feel about Santa. Like, DD brought him up herself this year - but somehow, the whole thing still feels slightly slimey. I don't know if it's the lying, but I want her to care more about Jesus and GIVING presents than getting. I think Santa sets kids up for a feeling of entitlement instead of thankfulness.
I know I'm over thinking this - but I never really believed in Santa when I was little, so I'm just not sure how to handle this going forward.
When I was a kid I believed in Santa for waaay too long. I think my parents just assumed I knew, and it led to some embarrassing conversations at school. (note to parents, make sure your 6th grader knows the deal with Santa or they will get teased!) I'll definitely do the Santa thing with my kids, but I'm going to sit them down at a certain point and actually tell them Santa is an idea and not a person. Not when they are really young, obviously, but at a reasonable age. Then of course my kid will probably be the asshole who tells some poor innocent child who didn't know yet.
When I was a kid I believed in Santa for waaay too long. I think my parents just assumed I knew, and it led to some embarrassing conversations at school. (note to parents, make sure your 6th grader knows the deal with Santa or they will get teased!) I'll definitely do the Santa thing with my kids, but I'm going to sit them down at a certain point and actually tell them Santa is an idea and not a person. Not when they are really young, obviously, but at a reasonable age. Then of course my kid will probably be the asshole who tells some poor innocent child who didn't know yet.
I feel like you were the exception to the rule.
I read a very interesting article the other day that Santa isn't about "lying" to your kids and stuff (I don't want to start an argument, this was just the one in the article) but that Santa fuels imagination and magic in a kids' life.
I don't think it's wrong for an 11 year old or 12 year old to still have an active imagination and believe in magic. It's sad that you had to experience teasing because of it. It's sad that it's seen as ignorant or naive, instead of just being happy and believing.
I feel like with the internet and society today that our kids will actually discover the "truth" sooner than we did as kids....but I hope to talk with them about how important and fun it was to believe and to not take that away from siblings and other friends and kids at school.
I suppose in the interest of full disclosure and UO - I am still not sure how I feel about Santa. Like, DD brought him up herself this year - but somehow, the whole thing still feels slightly slimey. I don't know if it's the lying, but I want her to care more about Jesus and GIVING presents than getting. I think Santa sets kids up for a feeling of entitlement instead of thankfulness.
I know I'm over thinking this - but I never really believed in Santa when I was little, so I'm just not sure how to handle this going forward.
Read my post above thinking about Santa as imagination and believing in magic.
I do see both sides.
There's also an aspect of Santa that I do want to do with my kids - and that's that the only gifts from santa are practical ones and her stocking. I *do* think it's hard for kids when they see their friends and say "What did you get from Santa" and one got an x-box, and the other got a hat and mittens. These situations make me sort of "anti-santa".
I think I may do the "need, want, read and wear" to apply to Santa, but even then is it too much? Maybe just the need and read?
I'm rambling. DD is still too young so I have another year I think before this becomes a *thing*....
Post by Flair Underwood on Dec 11, 2015 11:14:25 GMT -5
I've heard of people who say they let the really big fun thing be from santa. One friend told me her kids iPad was from Santa, and when her kid broke it the mom said, 'I don't want to spend money on another one." So the kid said, "But you didn't spend money on the first one!"
I've also heard of people who make everything from Santa and then the kid is said their parents didn't get them anything.
I've heard of people who say they let the really big fun thing be from santa. One friend told me her kids iPad was from Santa, and when her kid broke it the mom said, 'I don't want to spend money on another one." So the kid said, "But you didn't spend money on the first one!"
I've also heard of people who make everything from Santa and then the kid is said their parents didn't get them anything.
It's all so odd....
And that's what makes it hard for me, I think, as a parent, to do santa - where Santa is fun and magical and doesn't pick and choose and hurt anybody.
My parents always gave us the *best* or most expensive gift from them. We got a fair amount from "santa" (or his elves, or reindeer, or mrs claus) but the main thing we wanted/asked for was always from them. That makes sense to me.
It doesn't make sense for Santa to give Suzy an ipad, but Laura a christmas dress.
Flair Underwood oh I totally feel you on not wanting to do Santa. That was actually going to be my FFFC if we had one of those threads today. Growing up, I never got any presents from Santa, but I did know the story and I did go sit on his lap on the mall for Christmas. My parents just decided to not make it an issue at all, so I never asked about Santa gifts and I never spoiled the secret for any other kid because my parents taught me not to be an asshole.
I plan to do the same thing for DS and this LO. DH thinks this is cruel and unusual punishment!
Post by ArgyleEnigma on Dec 11, 2015 12:57:35 GMT -5
The Santa magic was big and very real in our house. It would be huge if my spouse pressed not to do it. I love Santa.
The only thing I'll change from many childhood is that the "big gift" will be from us, as an effort to fight the unfortunately inherent inequality of Santa, the only thing I don't like.* It wasn't a problem growing up because the entire town minus three families had not much money, and the the families were non-jerks who were never ostentatious. I doubt it will be that easy for us. I don't mind explaining if they have a little less, but I don't want my kids to be the ones who have way more. This may be inevitable in some cases. Some families have so little. Then it comes back to etiquette (don't compare loot) and non-assholeness (don't brag). I know it will be difficult. But I think the idea and charm of Santa are worth it. Entire communities comes together to create magic for children, and it melts my heart. When else does anything like that happen?
*Not literally the only thing, if we get into the exclusion of religious non-Christians. But I'm staying focused here, you don't need a full magic-dismantling essay from me.
I suppose in the interest of full disclosure and UO - I am still not sure how I feel about Santa. Like, DD brought him up herself this year - but somehow, the whole thing still feels slightly slimey. I don't know if it's the lying, but I want her to care more about Jesus and GIVING presents than getting. I think Santa sets kids up for a feeling of entitlement instead of thankfulness.
I know I'm over thinking this - but I never really believed in Santa when I was little, so I'm just not sure how to handle this going forward.
Actually, I agree with this. This is a huge unpopular opinion about me. We aren't going to do Santa, I was going to save that UO for later. It's funny we decided to do a picture, but I was always told as a kid that he was a fun character to pretend and NOT to ruin it for other kids, etc. Anyways, I totally respect everyone's decision but agree with this! It's hard to know how to handle, DH and I talk about it a lot.
We're totally doing Santa. When I was younger, I read one of the little house books which gave a nice description of Santa as a spirit of magic and giving that can embody us all at the holidays. (This is how I realized Santa wasn't a person BTW). I like the idea that my kid can receive gifts and be gracious about them, no matter who they come from, and then when she's older can realize she can be that Santa, that spirit of giving to other people.
We're totally doing Santa. When I was younger, I read one of the little house books which gave a nice description of Santa as a spirit of magic and giving that can embody us all at the holidays. (This is how I realized Santa wasn't a person BTW). I like the idea that my kid can receive gifts and be gracious about them, no matter who they come from, and then when she's older can realize she can be that Santa, that spirit of giving to other people.
I still think of Santa in this way.
This is lovely! I have been lurking in this discussion because I honestly had not thought about how to deal with Santa before and I really love this description!
Post by origamimommy on Dec 11, 2015 19:28:12 GMT -5
On the Santa thing, we're also doing smaller things from Santa and the rest from us. I don't like the idea mentioned earlier that one kid gets an iPad and one gets socks.
On the santas lap thing, two years ago, DS couldn't wait to meet Santa. Bouncing off the walls excited. Gets up there, sits on his lap, and this:
He was on his lap for literally the two seconds it took to pick him up. Last year, he did NOT want to meet Santa. So we didn't. My MIL, normally awesome, was pissy both years. Sorry my kid can't perform on command. I'm in the camp of not forcing him.
Anyway, this us a long story, but it gets funny. This year, he was super excited again. When we met Santa, Santa asked if T would sit on his lap, and T said, "No Santa, that's kind of weird. I'll just give you w hug instead." It was adorable and what he was comfortable with.
I love Santa and love that he's finally seeing the magic. I think there's a sensitive way to handle it that lets them in on the magic rather than taking it away.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.