Post by ArgyleEnigma on Dec 14, 2015 14:39:22 GMT -5
The amazing thing about the vilification of formula is that without it, so many babies would die. Back in the day, if supply didn't come in, or mom died, no wet nurse meant the baby died. I know stuff like cow's milk with butter was tried but I don't think it was very successful.
So, I only found out like a year ago that one doesn't just pop the baby on the breast at birth. How long does it typically take for milk to come in? How long would you ladies wait (those planning to BF) until you started formula? I'm trying to get an idea of normal because I fear hospital answers may be influenced by politics.
DH has been sick for days with sinus stuff which turns into vertigo and I am feeling exhausted! DD has been a daddy's girl on weekends and when he comes home from work so I've been able to relax and I'm not used to doing it all on my own after being spoiled! Today I accomplished dropping the dog off to get groomed and grocery shopping. I think the rest of the day we are just going to stay in and maybe watch a movie.
So, I only found out like a year ago that one doesn't just pop the baby on the breast at birth. How long does it typically take for milk to come in? How long would you ladies wait (those planning to BF) until you started formula? I'm trying to get an idea of normal because I fear hospital answers may be influenced by politics.
I actually did just pop DS on the breast at birth and he sat there for 45 minutes and latched almost immediately. My milk came in very quickly (I don't actually know when exactly) and BF was relatively easy for us. Of course, I dealt with other issues with BF like a clogged duct, pumping at work, weighed feedings, etc. My hospital was very helpful with BF and had lactation nurses come in and help/answer questions a few times a day while we were there. We never had to use formula, but kept some of the free sample packs as back ups just in case.
DS has always been a good eater - sleeping on the other hand is a nightmare...literally.
ArgyleEnigma, those are good questions. I can't answer the first since my milk never really came in but regarding when you might need to consider or supplement is usually based on a number of factors
1. Your baby's weight gain (or loss). It's normal for babies to lose some weight in the first days to week after birth. This will be monitored by your pediatrician in a post birth appointment which is usually a few days to a week after you leave the hospital. If it's too much of a loss (usually greater than 10% of their initial birth weight) formula supplement will likely be suggested and they will have you come back in (for us it was every day) until they see improvements
2. Number of wet and dirty diapers. Your hospital care team will give you information on how many wet and dirty diapers your baby should have in the early days. If it's less they will tell you to contact their office
3. Your baby's temperament after feeding. This one is tricky to determine but they 'should' be calm or sleepy and satiated after feeding. Issues I experienced which I now see for what they really were are that DS would nurse for hours (because he wasn't getting enough) and he was hysterical and inconsolable after nursing and at other times.
All 3 of these things were red flags for us. The weight loss was the most obvious one but even with that the nurses and DS's pediatrician were hesitant to suggest supplementing (e.g. 'You can give it one more day'), obviously I think that was the wrong advice.
So, I only found out like a year ago that one doesn't just pop the baby on the breast at birth. How long does it typically take for milk to come in? How long would you ladies wait (those planning to BF) until you started formula? I'm trying to get an idea of normal because I fear hospital answers may be influenced by politics.
Well, it kind of works this way. In the beginning, they're drinking colostrum which still provides nutrients, and the milk doesn't usually come in for a few days.
For us, DS nursed for the first time within an hour of being born and we had an LC help us with his latch and check in on us every day we were in the hospital. She also called us at home a week or so later to see how things were going. She was actually the one to recommend supplementing with formula when his bilirubin levels were high, so if you have a kickass LC at your disposal they can really help to make your experience easier. You're right though that politics and personal opinions sometimes get in the way, and not all LCs are as open to providing alternatives.
Also, to add on to what csat said, some doctors offices will do weighed feedings if there is concern that the baby isn't getting enough. They weigh them immediately before and after a feeding in the office to determine how much they're taking in which can help to identify supply issues. One of the biggest mindfucks in the early days of BFing is whether or not the baby is actually eating, since there isn't an easy and accessible way to see how much they take in at each feeding.
My biggest advice to new parents is to have a tentative plan in place, but be open and willing to change direction if things aren't working out how you thought they would. This goes for BFing and pretty much everything else in the world of parenting. Learning how to be a parent is freaking hard!
To all the FTMs, make sure you have full support from the people closest to you (H, SO, Mom, etc) and be realistic. Like csat said, there is so little support for doing differently than "someone else". No one around told me it was okay to stop pumping. No one said it would be okay. I had my H telling me to do whatever I thought was best, which was supportive, but he didn't really get how much pressure I felt until I dried up and had that breakdown. It is so, so challenging in that sleep-deprived, hormonal, don't know what the fuck I'm doing stage to be reasonable. So prep the people around you to be reasonable!
This time, I know formula is fine. I actually worked for Abbott, the company that manufactures Similac, and I know how much goes into Research and Development. I am so fucking tired of hearing, "The first ingredient is sugar! Formula is nothing but sugar! It's poison!" Well, sugar (just a different kind, obviously) is also one of the main ingredients in breastmilk.
I can already feel a bit of the "well I did it with the first, I should do it with the second" pressure coming up, but I am hoping I can overcome that before the baby is here. I know it's ok to have formula. You are just as good of a mom if you formula feed. I don't know why there is so much pressure put on this specific choice moms make, because it is already so emotional, it sucks that there are people that make it harder.
Also, to add on to what csat said, some doctors offices will do weighed feedings if there is concern that the baby isn't getting enough. They weigh them immediately before and after a feeding in the office to determine how much they're taking in which can help to identify supply issues. One of the biggest mindfucks in the early days of BFing is whether or not the baby is actually eating, since there isn't an easy and accessible way to see how much they take in at each feeding.
My biggest advice to new parents is to have a tentative plan in place, but be open and willing to change direction if things aren't working out how you thought they would. This goes for BFing and pretty much everything else in the world of parenting. Learning how to be a parent is freaking hard!
This is really, really good advice.
On that same note, things change so much and so often throughout the first year my advice is not to overthink or over stress about any given issue. Do what works best and what you need to do for the moment but conserve your energy and efforts because things may look completely different in a week. This is relevant for pretty much anything but I will underline sleep issues here as those can be particularly mind-fucking.
I second what everyone else said. I would take a breastfeeding class at your local hospital (mine was free with the hospital I was registered at). If you're going with a midwife or birthing center, I'm sure they offer one too. Whether you plan to breastfeed or not, it's good to get the information and be able to decide! My milk took a few days to come in, but baby's stomaches are so small and only need colostrum before that! It's crazy!
The amazing thing about the vilification of formula is that without it, so many babies would die. Back in the day, if supply didn't come in, or mom died, no wet nurse meant the baby died. I know stuff like cow's milk with butter was tried but I don't think it was very successful.
So, I only found out like a year ago that one doesn't just pop the baby on the breast at birth. How long does it typically take for milk to come in? How long would you ladies wait (those planning to BF) until you started formula? I'm trying to get an idea of normal because I fear hospital answers may be influenced by politics.
I had a pretty easy time with nursing, though there were points where I didn't think it was so easy. We nursed for the first time when DD was about 2 hours old (I had to get a lot of stitches and they needed to check her out because the cord was around her neck. Anyway, the nurse was like here feed her. I was like wtf?! She then helped me get a latch and away we went. My supply didn't come until I was home from the hospital so I'd say about 4 days after birth. We came home on a Thursday and went to the ped on Friday and then had to follow up a week later for a weight check. Our ped had a lactation consultant and I went to a class they offered where they did weighted feedings and answered questions. Definitely helpful. At the hospital I also did a lactation class and had a number of visits from the LC while there. Nursing isn't an easy process for everyone (you can even see the spectrum on this board). I think you have to be willing to put in some work if you want to make it work,but you also need to know that sometimes your sanity and health of baby requires other options. I think with that mindset you're more likely for success. My best friend was set on nursing and then her kid was allergic to everything. She tried elimination diets and he was miserable and rash covered and spitting up everywhere and finally she was like this isn't worth it for me or for him. They are both happy now and he's healthy and enjoying his bottles of formula. The "right" decision isn't the same for everyone...know your limits.
That being said, I absolutely loved nursing and would be more than happy to answer any and all questions anyone has. I spent a lot of time on TB nursing board (I"m sure it's the same people here now) and they were so so helpful and saved my sanity a number of times. I recommend them as a resource as well.
My NT scan went great! Baby had a great HB and all the measurements were within the normal range. Now I just have to wait for the results of the bloodwork. There were some other parts of the visit that I'll vent about on another day having to do with office policies, but today is for happy news!
I just wanted to say how happy I am to read about everyone's perspectives on BFing. I have to admit that is what makes me the most nervous at the moment about having a new baby and you all have made me feel so much better! Thanks!!!
Oh and not that it really matters, but I think I can totally see a little penis.
Haha! We saw one on my NT scan at 13 weeks! Of course I had the benefit of a cell free DNA test result that confirmed that, so that might have biased the way the tech was looking at things.
Ugh, sanctimommies. Worry about your own baby. A pregnant coworker recently friended me on facebook and she is constantly posting things about how there should be laws that control what women do while pregnant and "breast is best!" Vomit.
nitecheese "Sharkbaby" just made me laugh out loud.
Just finished cleaning the house. It is always nice to have things nice and shiny for a few minutes before the dog runs into the carpeted room with mud all over her paws (no seriously). Oh well, this is why we are having the floor measured tomorrow so we can get rid of carpeting forever and ever! Can't wait.
vivela, that coworker would be unfriended pretty quickly. My sister has an in-law who posts stuff like that all the time and we hate-read her status updates sometimes because they're so outrageous.
vivela, lol 'there should be laws that control what women do while pregnant'! I will happily bombard her social media with photos of me throughout my pregnancy eating deli meat, lox, sushi, undercooked eggs and drinking wine. The horror!
I also love that we can have open and honest conversations about topics that tend to get heated elsewhere. You guys are all awesome!
*insert kumbaya gif*
I agree that I'm getting a warm fuzzy feeling about you ladies. I think we're going to be an awesome mom's group!
In related news, I just logged into TB for the first time in like a month. Man, that place is a shit-show! I liked the TTC over 35 board, but everywhere else is a mess.
frecklesnbrains, I recently hopped over there too! WOW! Now I remember why it was just my nightly entertainment as I fell asleep and not real community (I lurked and never participated)-hot mess!
On another note, I just went public on Facebook. I feel so nervous, mostly because I remember the pain of seeing pregnancy announcements like it was yesterday. I know it will likely be hurtful for someone, but decided to eventually say something rather than nothing at all. It does feel good to get off my chest, and to not wonder who I told and who I haven't. I've been in group situations lately (like at Christmas parties) where only one or two of the people in the group knew (even though we're open about telling anyone lately) and got tired of that and announcing so many individual times.
I took a bf class and looking back it was slightly helpful, but what really helped was a lactation consultant after ds was born. Ds didn't latch in the hospital so they sent me home with a pump. I felt like such a failure. I failed at home too so they scheduled me with a lc. She was a god send! No body tells you that it can be hard. There's so many little tricks she taught me that she couldn't have showed me until I had ds on my boob and showing me hands on what I was doing incorrectly or I could do better. After my 5 min appointment I was a bf queen. Purchase mother love cream for your nipples... It was my nipple savior. Even though I had a rough beginning, I ended up breast feeding for 18 months. I loved every moment and cried when it ended. I doubt I'll go 18 months this time... But I may surprise myself. To all the ftm, it's not always instinctual so get help if you need it. Sometimes milk dries out and there's nothing you can do so don't beat yourself up.
I finally made an appointment for pt. I'm so happy to get some relief or at least some guidance on what I can do differently to make my back feel better.
I agree that a lactation consultant was extremely helpful. I got mastitis and was hospitalized for it (if you end up getting it, I am so so sorry, but let me know and I might have some tips for you!) The lactation consultant was SO helpful for me in getting my supply back after that. I did love breastfeeding also and definitely plan to this time as well, I was sad when it ended, too. I also think it's great to do whatever works best for each Mom in the circumstance that they're in and to not feel guilty about it!
Post by Flair Underwood on Dec 14, 2015 23:21:31 GMT -5
So late to this day... But re: BF. When DD was born BF sucked for us. She wouldnt latch, 5 different lactation consultants touched my boob and i had to "hand express" myself in front of my husband for days. When we got home, I panicked the first night and sent DH to walmart at 2 am to buy a pump. Before DD was born, the "womanly art of breastfeeding" and all of the crap from LLL completely overwhelmed me. We ended up doing okay, but I completely understand and appreciate all the decisions moms make. Do your research but don't overwhelm yourself! You will love your kid and take care of them!
Also - I got a haircut today and it is WAY shorter than I intended. Like, yikes
And - dh is gone all week and tonight our washer and dryer just stopped working.
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