Baby Blues Check In

[Deleted]

Thought we could all use another one of these.

How old is your new LO?

How often are you having bouts of the blues?

Are your blues triggered by anything?

What are your feelings when the blues occur?

Have do you cope?

Have you seeked professional help, or do you plan to?

Anything you need to talk about this week?

[lasawyer91]

How old is your new LO? 4 days old

How often are you having bouts of the blues? It started two days ago, about 2-3 times a day

Are your blues triggered by anything? No they are completely random.

What are your feelings when the blues occur? I just feel overwhelmingly sad and can't help but cry

Have do you cope? My DH is really good and will hug me and let me cry it out

Have you seeked professional help, or do you plan to? Not yet I think it is just my hormones adjusting

Anything you need to talk about this week? I'm not sure if it is baby blues but I can't help but cry sometimes. It may just be exhaustion or both. Its just so confusing for me because I am so happy to have my LO but than I'm crying for absolutely no reason

[Deleted]

How old is your new LO? 13 days

How often are you having bouts of the blues? almost all day, every day

Are your blues triggered by anything? pretty much everything. I get a couple of good hours a day most days then it's downhill from there.

What are your feelings when the blues occur? inadequacy and indifference

How do you cope? I cry, a lot; pass the baby off to FI a lot, too

Have you seeked professional help, or do you plan to? I think I need it; I'm just not ready to make that phone call.

Anything you need to talk about this week? A lot and nothing at the same time. This sucks.

[Deleted]

How old is your new LO? 2 weeks and 4 days

How often are you having bouts of the blues? Occasionally, maybe once every couple of days

Are your blues triggered by anything? Usually by a crying baby or a joke by my husband

What are your feelings when the blues occur? Inadequate, overwhelmed, helpless

Have do you cope? Talking. A lot. Forcing myself to get out of the house.

Have you seeked professional help, or do you plan to? I don't think it's necessary at this point but I will if I need to.

Anything you need to talk about this week?
I think there's a lot of guilt all wrapped up in being a mom and my latest thing is feeling like I hurt my baby when his head flops or like something's wrong because he sleeps all the time. It's like I'm constantly looking for what's wrong with him.

[dashook]

How old is your new LO? 3 weeks and 3 days

How often are you having bouts of the blues? In the past week I've had them 2-3 times; before that I hadn't had any for a week or so, and had kind of hoped I was in the clear

Are your blues triggered by anything? Lack of sleep makes them BAD. I really only have them in the MOTN now, when I am tired and LO is either pulling off the boob and crying for seemingly no reason, or when I've fed him but he is just wide awake and I end up walking him around, bouncing, singing, etc. and trying to keep my composure for 2 or more hours until he FINALLY drops off. Even worse if he's crying for those 2 hours.

What are your feelings when the blues occur? Completely overwhelmed, resentful (mostly of DH), frustrated/irritated/angry (with DS...which makes me feel like a horrible mother too)

How do you cope? I just cry. And usually post something or other on here or TB. Honestly, I don't really have anyone to talk to about it IRL. The other night when DH got home from work (at like 10:30 p.m.) he found me in the bedroom having a complete meltdown while trying to nurse DS, who just would not stop screaming, and he took him away from me and told me to get some sleep. I got about an hour and a half, which helped, and I appreciated it...but it's not exactly like I opened up and talked to him about what was bothering me.

Have you sought professional help, or do you plan to? My baby will be a month old a week from today. If it hasn't gotten better by then, then I may.

Anything you need to talk about this week? DH is starting a new job tomorrow at a big law firm, and even though this career change is going to be really great for us financially, I hate that it is coinciding so closely with DS's birth. He is going to be working outrageously long hours and I just feel like it's so unfair that *everything* falls to me when it comes to our baby, with no foreseeable end in sight (even once I go back to work). I think that is part of what got me so upset earlier this week. He has literally never taken an overnight shift with this kid; he always gets to sleep for at least 5-6 hours overnight while I handle 100% of the changing, feeding (my choice, admittedly, since we are EBF), and soothing (which, as described above, is a big trigger for me when it goes on for 2+ hours in the middle of the night).

Sorry, apparently I really needed to vent this time...

[Deleted]

@dashook vent away always. That's why I started this thread. I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed and I totally understand the anger in the middle of the night.

@happywigglecmb sending you lots of hugs and we're here to talk whenever you need.

lasawyer91 I had the random crying for about a week and still have occasional crying spells. Hang in there. New babies are so hard and becoming a mom is crazy.

[Deleted]

How old is your new LO? 1 month 2 days

How often are you having bouts of the blues?
Less now, maybe once a week?

Are your blues triggered by anything?
Lack of sleep + forgetting my pill. Plus L nursing all the time.

What are your feelings when the blues occur?
Total frustration and wanting to drive off and away from both kids.

Have do you cope?
Take my med and try to sleep. Trying to play and be more active with the big.

Have you seeked professional help, or do you plan to?
Other than my ob, no. I went to a therapist a long time ago and it wasn't a good experience.

Anything you need to talk about this week?
Nothing in particular, just making sure I stay connected.

[shehulk723]

How old is your new LO?
12 days

How often are you having bouts of the blues?
1-2 times a day

Are your blues triggered by anything?
Sometimes nursing. Typically it's worse at night.

What are your feelings when the blues occur?
Hopelessness, worthlessness, guilt, feelings of inadequacy

Have do you cope?
Currently I just tell my husband I need a hug and he cuddles me while I sob on his shoulder.

Have you seeked professional help, or do you plan to?
Not yet but I may make an appt with my old psych if things don't get better in the next couple days.

Anything you need to talk about this week?
I don't want to go into all the details but I'm going through some difficult family drama right now. Hoping it will get sorted out in the next week or two and when it is sorted it can only end one of two ways- either things will be fine or there will be a really really terrible outcome. Hopefully things end up ok.

[lasawyer91]

Thank you @saiven ! I'm hanging in there. I hope you guys are all doing okay, you are all amazing even if you don't feel it right now!!

[Deleted]

@firefly3911 I think it's so easy to get isolated when you're home with a new baby (and for you an older baby too). I think staying connected is a great idea!

shehulk723 I'm sorry about your family drama. Family drama + postpartum hormones seems like a recipe for blues. Hopefully things calm down for you soon.

[milagros315]

How old is your new LO? 2 weeks, 4 days

How often are you having bouts of the blues? Every other day or so.

Are your blues triggered by anything? Some days are good, but when we have a bad BFing day I get really depressed.

What are your feelings when the blues occur? I feel depressed, overwhelmed, frustrated and like a total failure. I think a big part of why I'm struggling so much is because I'm infertile. It was really tough to accept that I couldn't get pregnant and now I can't (or at least I'm having a hard time) breastfeed and that makes me feel like I my body just sucks. I'm afraid that I just wasn't meant to be good at the whole mother thing.

Have do you cope? I talk to H or my mom. I tell them what I'm feeling and what I'm afraid of and they usually talk me through it.

Have you seeked professional help, or do you plan to? I haven't talked to anyone yet. We're all going to keep an eye on it and if I'm still feeling this way at my next appointment, I'll talk to my doctor.

Anything you need to talk about this week? Nothing new. It's just the breastfeeding bullshit that's getting to me. I hope that if we work through that, I'll start feeling better.

[elleno95]

How old is your new LO? He will be four weeks tomorrow! EEEK

How often are you having bouts of the blues? At least once everyday. It just depends on whether it's a good or a bad day.

Are your blues triggered by anything? Being alone. FI works at least twelve hours a day, I'm stuck inside with my LO, my parents/friends/family live an hour and a half away so I don't get many visitors. Driving with my LO. When LO has gas/belly ache and won't stop crying. When I feel like I am inadequate and incapable of soothing my baby. When I feel like I missed the boat on motherly instincts.

What are your feelings when the blues occur? Incredibly anxious. My heart feels like it could pound of my chest and I go into full on panic attack mode. I don't really ever feel sad, but sometimes I just feel like I am emotionless. I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I just sit and stare. Then other times I feel like everyone is judging me on how well I can be a mother, I want to be the best I can be, but I feel like I can't own up.

How do you cope? When I have anxiety attacks I just try to steady my breathing and distract myself. I will turn on TV or get on the internet and try to keep my mind off of it until my heart beat will slow down. Taking a cold shower or rolling the window down in the truck always helps. Last night driving down the road, I had such a bad anxiety attack that I turned around to get one of my friends to go with me. I was shaking/shivering and dizzy. It even effects my vision. When I feel emotionless, I try to love on my LO or FI. Just something that brings me good thoughts that will turn my mood around.

Have you sought professional help, or do you plan to? As a child I went to counseling once a week until I felt capable of handling the anxiety myself. I haven't ruled out professional help at this point, but I haven't deemed it necessary, either.

Anything you need to talk about this week? It's beginning to seriously interfere with my relationship with FI. I get jealous and upset and he thinks it's because I'm not happy in our relationship. I love that man with my whole heart. I can't imagine my life without him in it. I just don't know how to talk to him about how I feel.