Rama I am amazed at how well you seem to be keeping perspective and keeping your wits about you through all of this. You are so strong, and so brave, and I think I have a girl crush on you now
Post by gratefulgirl on Dec 25, 2015 20:32:57 GMT -5
Rama - wow, that is a ton. I am glad for the parts that are better than the alternative and glad the MTX is an option. Huge hugs for all the rest. You are really a strong woman and inspiration right now and I hope you have people to lean on as well.
So last night, MrRama and I got this huuuuuge, overwhelming wave of buyer's remorse after we got my beta back (yup, she wanted another one, even if it was only a day after the last one). It had doubled appropriately. We, particularly he, just suddenly "knew" it was an uterine pregnancy and we'd made a horrible, horrible mistake. We were both in a very not okay place. This morning we woke up feeling hollow and I felt furious with myself, for letting myself be pressured into making the choice I said I wouldn't.
The OB called me personally today to see how we're doing (personal call=very strange) and said she'd received the biopsy results: no pregnancy tissue. Ectopic confirmed. It was a terrifying call to get, but to be honest? It let us let go of a lot of the stress and guilt and worry we'd been beating ourselves up about over the previous 12 hours. An enormous weight felt like it had lifted from our shoulders and the immediate effect was certainly noticeable.
But, as usual, there's another shoe to drop, right? I have fatty liver. She wasn't sure with that, that I could take MTX, the shot usually used to treat an ectopic. I was looking at surgery. And with this kind of surgery, I could be looking at having a portion of my tube taken. So we stressed about that and what that would mean for our future fertility.
Thankfully, this story ends in a high note. She called back awhile later, after talking to a GI, and they gave her the go ahead to give me MTX! We'd much rather not jump to the alternative. There's a max of 4 shots in the series, though, so if it doesn't work as expected, surgery isn't off the table. But today, we're good. We're okay.
Tl;dr We got hit with immense regret last night, then learned this morning that the biopsy results indicated ectopic. Almost needed surgery, but will do MTX first.
Rama, you are such an incredible person. I'm sorry you've been hit with such a tragic series of events. I'm glad they are willing to try the shots before taking drastic measures. All the hugs!
youdontsay , mine is only just starting at 6weeks3days... maybe yours is coming?
Does anybody else notice that they go from STARVING to SO FULL IT HURTS about 2 minutes into eating a meal?
I feel like I go the other way more often! I am used to eating about twice in a day, but being pregnant, its every 2 to 4 hours, or I go from thinking I am still full and comfortable to oh look, my tummy is growling and trying to eat itself and now i am dizzy and please dont let the all day ms be kicking in this early! LOL
Also, damned if anything sounds tasty. Except my mom's quiche. I ate half of it myself over the last two days hehe. I had to force myself to save the last piece for my SO. He even tried to tell me to eat it, but I refused. He liked the yumminess, too, so it is only nice to share. He might not be so lucky in 2nd or 3rd tri... haha!
I swear I feel like the only one on A16 who doesn't have MS! Not fair!
I devoured cheesy potatoes and beef tenderloin at dinner, it was amazing. I'm sure MS will kick in at some point, but till then I'm enjoying eating all the things.
youdontsay , mine is only just starting at 6weeks3days... maybe yours is coming?
Does anybody else notice that they go from STARVING to SO FULL IT HURTS about 2 minutes into eating a meal?
I feel like I go the other way more often! I am used to eating about twice in a day, but being pregnant, its every 2 to 4 hours, or I go from thinking I am still full and comfortable to oh look, my tummy is growling and trying to eat itself and now i am dizzy and please dont let the all day ms be kicking in this early! LOL
Also, damned if anything sounds tasty. Except my mom's quiche. I ate half of it myself over the last two days hehe. I had to force myself to save the last piece for my SO. He even tried to tell me to eat it, but I refused. He liked the yumminess, too, so it is only nice to share. He might not be so lucky in 2nd or 3rd tri... haha!
THIS WAS ME. I had to eat constantly, but everything tasted like garbage...except quiche. Gimme all the quiche.
Post by remylove1011 on Dec 25, 2015 22:23:27 GMT -5
Rama ((hugs)) As much as this all sucks, I'm glad that the results were able to lift that weight off your shoulder. I'm so sorry that this is how your holiday weekend is going. Hopefully the mtx will go smoothly and you wont have further issues. Sending lots of love and good thoughts to you.
Me (30) MH (32) Dx: MFI (low all the things) M. 10/11. TTC Since 01/14 IUI#1-3(Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN Second Opinion. Changed RE's. IVF 09/15 Long Lupron 12R/9M/8F, Transferred 1=BFN. 4 frosties. FET #1 12/15 Transferred 1 (3 still on ice)
I have to talk to you guys because it is all I can do to bite my tongue irl. We decided not to tell anyone yet, but I so so wanted to tell my mom. She had a minor cow when I got pregnant the first time, but she came around and loves my daughter to pieces. Being a grandma is kind of her favorite thing. I want her to be happy for us, to have a new addition on the way. And Christmas being about family seemed like a great time to tell... but I am so early on, it just maybe isn't good timing.
But I am going nuts! I want to tell SOMEONE! Eesh.
I have to talk to you guys because it is all I can do to bite my tongue irl. We decided not to tell anyone yet, but I so so wanted to tell my mom. She had a minor cow when I got pregnant the first time, but she came around and loves my daughter to pieces. Being a grandma is kind of her favorite thing. I want her to be happy for us, to have a new addition on the way. And Christmas being about family seemed like a great time to tell... but I am so early on, it just maybe isn't good timing.
But I am going nuts! I want to tell SOMEONE! Eesh.
I'm gonna see my mom in two days and I know it is gonna be so hard not to tell her. She's on the 12 week list, because I don't want her to go out and buy a zillion onesies and then have something happen. I'm notorious at trying to manage other people's feelings, and don't want to do that with her if we miscarry.
But it's still gonna be soooo hard not to say anything.
I swear I feel like the only one on A16 who doesn't have MS! Not fair!
(Pssst! I also don't have it. Just queasiness about an hour after I eat, and also randomly. I didn't have it with my prior pregnancies, either. I am veryveryveryvery lucky.)
Post by dorkusmalorkus on Dec 25, 2015 23:53:00 GMT -5
Rama I'm sorry this shitty situation is happening to you, and over the holidays, especially. Given everything, I'm glad you got relatively good news today. I hope the shot does what it needs to do, and things progress along the best possible path for you at this point!
Post by thechickencoop on Dec 26, 2015 8:58:06 GMT -5
Rama I am so glad you have an ANSWER!! It fucking sucks and it's not fair and I am just so sorry but also I'm happy that you guys will be able to have closure and have a plan.
Post by thechickencoop on Dec 26, 2015 9:02:52 GMT -5
AND we let her sleep in our room with our other dog since she was freaking out in her crate. Guess who was up all night with her and slept on the floor? Yup. And H was in bed shivering and sweating and saying he felt like shit. He's still up there so while I feel bad that he's sick part of me is just like grrrrr.
I'm so sorry Rama. It all sounds so stressful. Im glad you at least have an answer now & it's one that allows you to move forward and not feel guilty. And also not feel like you canceled your holiday plans for nothing. Ectopic can be really serious & I'm glad it was caught early. Hugs
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