Baby is refusing to sleep, wants to feed non-stop. Booze plan is out the window. FML.
Didn't you see the article I linked the other night? I'll see if I can dig it up. You can totally drink and nurse. From the soundb of it you SHOULD drink and nurse.
I wish I could post a video. I'm sure I could but I'm not trying to figure that out.
DW is in the kitchen freaking out because I didn't put the carrot peels down the garbage disposal while I was cooking dinner. She's salty about having to do the dishes in general. It's hilarious. I'm in the living room cracking up at her. All over stupid carrot peels. Lolski
Ive really been meaning to ask what other people's who cooks dinner/who cleans up situations are. Like, does the cook always get out of dishes? Is it different in 2 worker households vs households where one parent stays home? Im so interesed in the set-up! I HATE having to do both but always get stuck with both and get really passive-aggressive about leaving SOs dishes in the sink. I refuse to wash a grown man's dishes behind him when I also cooked that grown man the dinner he ate off those dishes. At the very least wash your own plate!
I wish I could post a video. I'm sure I could but I'm not trying to figure that out.
DW is in the kitchen freaking out because I didn't put the carrot peels down the garbage disposal while I was cooking dinner. She's salty about having to do the dishes in general. It's hilarious. I'm in the living room cracking up at her. All over stupid carrot peels. Lolski
Ive really been meaning to ask what other people's who cooks dinner/who cleans up situations are. Like, does the cook always get out of dishes? Is it different in 2 worker households vs households where one parent stays home? Im so interesed in the set-up! I HATE having to do both but always get stuck with both and get really passive-aggressive about leaving SOs dishes in the sink. I refuse to wash a grown man's dishes behind him when I also cooked that grown man the dinner he ate off those dishes. At the very least wash your own plate!
DH and I both work; he's full time and I work 4 1/2 days per week. I typically cook and serve the food. Then he clears the table and makes leftovers. Dishes get done when they need done by whomever gets there first. It's kinds of a spilt responsibility here. I think he does them more than I do. I do more laundry though. We try to share chores around the house.
I wish I could post a video. I'm sure I could but I'm not trying to figure that out.
DW is in the kitchen freaking out because I didn't put the carrot peels down the garbage disposal while I was cooking dinner. She's salty about having to do the dishes in general. It's hilarious. I'm in the living room cracking up at her. All over stupid carrot peels. Lolski
Ive really been meaning to ask what other people's who cooks dinner/who cleans up situations are. Like, does the cook always get out of dishes? Is it different in 2 worker households vs households where one parent stays home? Im so interesed in the set-up! I HATE having to do both but always get stuck with both and get really passive-aggressive about leaving SOs dishes in the sink. I refuse to wash a grown man's dishes behind him when I also cooked that grown man the dinner he ate off those dishes. At the very least wash your own plate!
H does both in our house. I'm the worst. But really, we're both teachers, and have the same basic hours. He's a little closer to home and I do daycare drop off and pick up, so that usually means he's home before me, so he has the advantage of baby-free time that I don't. He's always done the cooking though. It's just not my thing and he really likes doing it. If he's not in the mood, I usually pick up the tab for takeout. We split chores otherwise. It's not really organized, but it works out. I figure it will change as J becomes less dependent on me (I'm breastfeeding), but we'll see.
budders I just went through this with my LO. Horrible cold followed by throwing up, followed by horrible cold. He's finally on the mend after 3 weeks (not exaggerating) of hell. Fingers crossed yours turns a corner soon.
I was banned from doing dishes a few years ago. (I don't pre-wash well enough and I load the washer wrong). I am instructed to leave all dishes on the counter for DH. Seriously, if I even put a fork in the washer he notices and subsequently complains. It sounds like he's some abusive control freak, but honestly, it's not like that at all and I have zero complaints. He does the dishes every single night while I handle bathing the kids. Works great for us.
DH and I are on a Making a Murderer marathon thanks to you ladies. We'll be finishing up episode 5 by midnight & are planning on watching the rest tomorrow.
Still not midnight here. I found out today that my sister and her baby girl got to come home yesterday after a three week long NICU stay! That's the best thing I can imagine for starting the new year!
I am anti-fixing-your-SO's-plate. There is something about that image that makes me shudder. They should know how to scoop their own food onto their own plate. We aren't slaves.
periwinkledaydreams my H loves cooking. I'm a SAHM and he works so I obviously have to deal with lunch, and I am the one regularily emptying the dishwasher, but I'd say 85% of the time he does the supper cooking and then he does sink dishes while I bath the kids. It's what works for us and we can both do what we enjoy doing more! I don't even feel guilty about it because he's the one always coming up with meal ideas and wanting to try new things, cooking is just a fun passion for him. I do most of the baking or appetizers for around the house or school or volunteer functions, I just happen to enjoy that much more than cooking.
I hope V starts feeling better, budders. Poor kid can't catch a break.
Re: dishes, I usually cook and H usually cleans up. However, this means he piles dishes in the sink instead of loading the dishwasher or washing the pots. There were lots in my sink that sat there for well over a week because he said he'd do them but didn't this past week (he's home now on break from work, but he does freelance work on the side). He's never been good at dishes. I really get frustrated when he doesn't put them in the dishwasher - he claims he can't tell when they're clean or dirty and he created a color system so he'd know! Lame.
Oh, he often makes my plate for me or I make one for him. I'm getting a huge portion when he serves, though (I'm talking half a box of mac and cheese for both of us huge).
I am anti-fixing-your-SO's-plate. There is something about that image that makes me shudder. They should know how to scoop their own food onto their own plate. We aren't slaves.
I will often fix H's plate because...why not? I'm already fixing mine and the kids'. I don't view it as "slavery", that's a wildly inaccurate depiction. I see it as a courtesy.
Ok, slavery is a bit heavy. But I fix my kids' plates because a) I want to control what's on it, and b) because they are physically incapable of controlling a serving spoon properly. I guess the passion comes from the fact that I also don't want anyone making MY plate. I know the spaghetti to sauce ratio I'm comfortable with and I don't need anyone else telling me how much broccoli to have. I just feel like if you are an adult, you can make your own plate.
Usually whoever cooks in our house makes the plates for everyone out of courtesy. Whoever cooks also washes the dishes. I think I cook about 70% of time.
Of course adults can make their own plates, but I wouldn't be offended by a wife making a plate for her husband to be nice. I am picky about my portions as well, but I would still appreciate it when H makes a plate for me because he is trying to be thoughtful... ETA I guess it just seems like a strange thing to have such a strong opinion about.
Agreed. We have a small kitchen and table, so I don't put the food on the table. After I cook, I fix both plates and then serve those. This also helps with portion control. I don't see why it's such a big deal.
So I guess the fact that I've gone out of my way to fix DH a plate when we're out at a party is horribly taboo then...I don't see anything wrong with "serving" your spouse. Although I agree I'd rather make my own plate as well, it is a nice gesture and dare I say possibly even an act of love (especially for someone who's love language might be acts of service?)
Well, guess that should have gone in O, U! When we are at family functions and everyone is in the kitchen serving themselves, and then my uncle is sitting on the couch and my aunt is fixing his plate, it bothers me. It's nice you guys do it as an act of love, I'm sure that is definitely some people's intention. But it seems like the people in my life who do this have asshole husbands, so I associate it with that. Not implying you all have jerks for SOs, just the ones in my life seem to be that way, so that's where it stems from.
Edited because I'm messing up the order of my U and O.
I just put the food on the plate because I know how many servings I've made. I only do it if it's just the two of us. If we are at a gathering he's getting his own food. If we have company we all serve ourselves.
He sucks at making tacos/fajitas/burritos. Maybe he's better after all that baby swaddling.
@jemomma I assume you mean me, but I said nothing about the dynamic of a household of a SAHM. This is just one thing we don't have the same opinion on, I'm not trying to criticize your entire way of life. And honestly, I think we are talking about two different things. Yes, if I made soup and it's time to eat, I might put some in a bowl for DH. That's not the same as compiling his entire plate while he sits waiting for me to hand it to him.
It sounds like your situation works well, since you said it's an act of love that is appreciated by your husband. I already said earlier that's not what I'm referring to. I hope we can just agree that I was over-passionate in my initial post (which I already admitted) and that it's not an all-encompassing opinion. There are always exceptions.
Post by periwinkledaydreams on Jan 1, 2016 20:22:11 GMT -5
Hey ladies.. apparently I dropped some spice in the pot and stirred it then just bounced! Sorry! So many thoughts after reading the responses to my question and the extrapolation it lead to.. I never corrolated the dish washing issue with the plate serving, but yes.. in my house when I cook I share out the plates of food too. I wouldn't have naturally done so, and Im still getting used to it. Im always like uhh I don't know how much you want, I don't know how hungry you are today! Im very used to serving myself what I want and would expect that other adults would want to do the same, but when I got together with SO this became the regular thing. I assumed it was a cultural thing, honestly. On the rare occasion that he does the cooking though, he shares out the plates of food, but I usually tell him I prefer to do my own because I like to do my own ratios of meat to rice to sauce or whatever. Perhaps I should let go of some control there.
The whole dishes thing I think comes down to feeling like my day of "work" is not being valued. I cook dinner typically in the hour or 2 before he gets home from work, we eat, he plays with the baby while I start to clean up, I put the baby to bed while he watches TV/plays video games, then I go finish cleaning/washing dishes while he continues watching TV/passes out on the couch. At the end of the day, more often than not he gets to kick back on the couch in front of the tv immediately after dinner, granted he's holding a baby while he does it.. while I suppose I COULD do that, but then.. there would be a nasty kitchen and a sink full of of crusty dishes waiting for me in the morning. I don't know, I used to be okay with leaving things til the next day but its become about more than the dishes at this point.
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