Just found out this morning that my mother is driving across several states to collect my brother and put him in in-patient rehab. So that is... That? I dunno I guess I have a variety of feels on the subject. More annoyance and anger than anything else. He is fucking 28 years old. Pull it the fuck together. Blerg.
Post by harvestmoon on Feb 1, 2015 12:04:43 GMT -5
@hilarityensued my mom has also enabled my dad for their whole relationship, but particularly the last ten years or so too. It was tough for me to admit to myself that she is also not well if she's willing to do what she does and lie to herself and her family about it. I also worry a lot about whether I am/will be like her without realizing it.
tl;dr It sucks, I'm sorry, let yourself feel because that's how we process this shit.
Im so sorry @hilarityensued. Addiction is so tough to deal with. I've had a lot of it go on within my immediate family...and its absolutely heartbreaking.
Post by bennyandthejets13 on Feb 1, 2015 12:12:16 GMT -5
I know you don't me @hilarityensued but I totally understand everything your saying. It's incredibly frustrating seeing someone be self destructive and harm people you care about. I have a aunt who sounds similar and on her good days she's a bad person and on her bad days she's an outright danger to everyone around her, yet she keeps coming around and everyone acts like nothing.
Post by notmycircus on Feb 1, 2015 12:12:23 GMT -5
@hilarityensued I know that feeling all to well. My extended family (Uncle, and a few cousins) have struggled with addiction (hard stuff: heroin, meth, etc.) done prison time, some of them multiple times. I have looked at my Aunt and felt serious anger over her years of enabling them, when I want to grab them and shake them!! Feel all the feels!!
I'm super pissy about the fact that my mom is having people over for superbowl but didn't invite us. They have stopped inviting us over for things like this because of the kids and it pisses me off. I mean, now it's not like we would go, cuz we have other plans, but I hate being excluded from things because of the kids. ESP when it's my mother.
@hilarityensued I just typed a whole thing about my sister and then my phone froze.
Tl;dr: my sister is a piece of work, but my frustrations with her pale in comparison to the rage I feel at my parents enabling of her. It sucks. I'm really sorry you are dealing with that. Family dynamics are just...a lot.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
Truth be told I fucking hate my brother. There was an incident last May that forever changed all of the dynamics and he was at the center of it. I wish he could just move to fucking Timbuktu never to be heard from again.
Sorry @hilarityensued. We have a sister in law who we will never see or speak to again because of addiction and her making dangerous decsions. I honestly do not feel sad at all about not having a relationship with her, because protecting my family is more important.
The kids haircut place opens at 11. We got there at 1105 and there was an hour plus wait. Newp. My kid is always going to have a mullet, I'm at peace with it now.
Truth be told I fucking hate my brother. There was an incident last May that forever changed all of the dynamics and he was at the center of it. I wish he could just move to fucking Timbuktu never to be heard from again.
I'm sorry, the situation sucks. My dad's ex wife enabled the shit out of their daughter while my dad cut ties years ago. It created such a strange family dynamic on top of an already uncomfortable situation.
I was going to make chili for dinner but my husband is acting like it isn't something you eat on its own (like, must be served over noodles, or on a hot dog or some shit). It really annoyed me.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
At gymnastics. The roads were stupid bad. We have 10 inches already. Probably shouldn't have come. The parks dept hasn't cancelled a single activity today
@hilarityensued my sister is also 28 and is just now starting to get herself together. She's done multiple rehabs etc since college. I have felt a sense of responsibility towards her since my parents have both passed away (and there passing when she was in high school and college is what let her to cope with drugs). I'm her only sibling and it's hard. There's a fine line between helping and enabling and I know I have crossed that line by not knowing what was really going on at the time. I have tried only to help financially or otherwise when she was working on staying clean (taking to rehab, helping pay for her methadone treatment). And when she was in the midst of using, I didn't give her a penny.
There have been so many times where I have wanted to cut ties until she figured it out on her own. I just felt so guilty that she had no one else. At times the basis of our relationship was "are you alive? Ok good talk to you tomorrow." Even after she stopped using she was still an addict at heart and 2.5 years later is finally starting to not be manipulative and so self centered.
I know I'm rambling and probably don't make much sense, but I can somewhat see where parents who enable are coming from. If I feel such a responsibility to my sister, I can only imagine how a parent feels.
I was going to make chili for dinner but my husband is acting like it isn't something you eat on its own (like, must be served over noodles, or on a hot dog or some shit). It really annoyed me.
The McBennys agree with him.
I can't eat chili by itself, I always cook macaroni and put the chili over it. My mom always did this growing up and it feels more like a meal.
Haven't read. I am having an awesome day off so far. I made eggs, bacon, and sausage for breakfast and have migrated to the couch to watch Bob's Burgers on netflix.
Guise! What does one wear to a Super Bowl party? Hubby's boss is kind of well-to-do and I don't want to be a total scrub. But also want to be comfortable enough to eat lots. And still need to be able to nurse.
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