Mamas With Older Kids: WWYD re lying?

[dawnfire]

I don't have older kids, so I'm just taking a shot in the dark here.

Is there any way to fully block her from having access to sweets? Put them somewhere inaccessible or ban them from the house for X amount of time? It also sounds like she needs a Come to Jesus talk. 7 year olds shouldn't be lying and sassing back like they're teenagers.

Does she have mobile devices that she treasures? Take away her chargers for X amount of time every time she lies, and then she can watch her batteries slowly die.

I don't know if any of that is useful, just brainstorming. Hard to say what I would do, but lying is a major no no to me. Sorry that's going on for you.

[Lola]

That's such a tough situation. We deal with lying with my SS who is 8. He mostly lies about things he's embarrassed about but sometimes it's to get away with things. We usually ask bluntly if he's telling the truth. If he says he is, we agree on some sort of punishment if he's lying. Like if he had taken chocolate and then said Dh gave him permission, I'd ask him to call Dh and have him tell me that. Then he usually fesses up because he knows he's caught.

You're daughter seems like she's trying to act out. Is it her way of having control of things? Is she rebelling?

[jnnfrrose6]

Speaking from no personal experience, but it sounds like she's testing boundaries again and searching for control. I think what your doing is right. Don't let her get away with it (let her know she's been caught and you don't believe her excuses), follow through with appropriate punishments (yours seem appropriate and I've got no other suggestions there), and stay consistent. Hopefully she'll get over testing her boundaries soon.

[rlb]

No advice, just sympathies. DH's niece (who just turned 10) has always been a perpetual fibber, we think for attention. She is just called out for her lies, and her excuses are ignored. It's explained to her what could be the consequence of her lie (like getting someone else seriously in trouble). I think she's better, so hopefully your DD will grow out of it. But I agree consistency and accountability is key!

(and I secretly hope I don't ever have to go through this - I can't stand lying).

[isolemnlyswear]

TheCoffeeNinja: I saw article and thought of you. So it's a good thing she's lying...


www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/everything-kids/lying-is-a-sign-of-healthy-development-in-kids/?socsrc=Parents_20160115043100/

[littlemissmarla]

Sorry I'm late to the discussion. I don't have older children but I've worked with children the last 7 years of my life so from my POV it's attention seeking behavior. She doesn't care if the attention she receives is negative as long as she is getting some. I think what they recommend to do in these situations is to avoid things like removing or withholding things and praising for when she does good behaviors. The good behaviors don't have to be related to what she did wrong but if you see her playing with Dd2 in a nice way make a big deal or if she cleans something up make a big deal about how she did a good job and eventually she will seek out that positive attention by acting correctly. There's a ton of info I could go on and on but if you google an see about negative attention seeking behaviors and see if she is exhibiting those they might have other ideas.