TTCAL Check In January twenty six

[hydrangea1019]

legalbeagle I'm in South Florida. We've got two confirmed cases down here, but both visited other countries. I'm really not worried about it.... Should I be more concerned??

[requiressnacks]

Jan 26, 2016 10:58:54 GMT -5 peaseblossom55 said:

requiressnacks we were supposed to go mid March to the Bahamas. I guess we could wait too and see if things change before we really decide not to go. Although going delays a possible embryo transfer.

That's a tough decision. I haven't seen the Bahamas on the list of countries, are there confirmed cases there?

[peaseblossom55]

Jan 26, 2016 11:09:44 GMT -5 requiressnacks said:

Jan 26, 2016 10:58:54 GMT -5 peaseblossom55 said:

requiressnacks we were supposed to go mid March to the Bahamas. I guess we could wait too and see if things change before we really decide not to go. Although going delays a possible embryo transfer.

That's a tough decision. I haven't seen the Bahamas on the list of countries, are there confirmed cases there?

No and in the 6 years we've been going I've never gotten a mosquito bite down there, it's too windy.  Still our RE recommended we not go until the situation clears up, but since it's a time share we can't move around our travel dates. 

[legalbeagle]

hydrangea1019 , honestly no idea. I'm going to ask my doctor about it when we next speak, but the articles basically said that the mosquitos that carry the virus can be found in North America as well. To be fair, they can go pretty far north, like NYC/Chicago, so its not like FL/Southern states are the only place.

And sorry, now I feel like I've started fear mongering!

[daystardreams]

peaseblossom55 Giving yourself injections is a big accomplishment. I think about should of's all the time too. Hugs!

notagoddess GL with the OB appt and I'm sorry you are feeling hopeless about TTC. I'm right there with you and it sucks.

legalbeagle I'm seeing about the Zika virus everywhere. I haven't let myself read about it after the first time I read about it, it was really messing with me too!

littlelion My H has the FF app on his phone so he can see what's up! I downloaded it on there when I was between smart phones and when I got my iPhone last year, he just kept it. I'm always surprised when he already knows my FW is coming up, lol! I think he only checks it when he's wondering about sex!

hydrangea1019 I hope your OB appt goes well.

ellabee It is so nice that you had a good exchange with SIL. It's always refreshing when people handle things appropriately!

pinkcat Untelling my parents was the hardest part. I've never made them cry before but they cried when I called after the first loss. I still tear up when I think about it and it's almost been two years.

AFM,

Status: TTC - Cycle #19 WTO

Diagnosis: PCOS + MTHR

Updates: See above, yep, I got a fancy new diagnosis, heterozygous MTHR

Debbie Downer: I'm feeling real down. I really like my RE but I hate the idea of it. On CD 1, I had to call three different places, my OB, RE, and insurance. I also mentioned to my boss that I would need a day off for an appointment. I want baby making to just involve DH and me! Is that too much to ask? I want to just stop responding to all the doctors and just keep TTC on our own but I know I'd regret that.

ETA: I'm proud of myself today for not picking the zucchini out of my zucchini pasta. I'm trying to be healthier!

[notagoddess]

Sorry about your new diagnosis, daystardreams. I know there have been some posts about it recently. I'm sorry you're feeling burned out by TTC. It's completely understandable. I hope things look up for you soon.

[peaseblossom55]

daystardreams I'm sorry about the added diagnosis. I hope it just means they have the information to keep you pregnant next time. I'm at the point where I am honestly in a bit of disbelief that people just have sex and get pregnant. Send me over your zucchini anytime you don't want it. :-)

[ellabee]

Ugh, I'm so sorry daystardreams. It's totally understandable to be frustrated that you have to keep everyone and their mother updated on your cycle. I'm glad you like your RE though. And yay for sticking to eating healthier!

[doodler]

Well...I'm back. Yesterday we found out that I am going to miscarry again. I have already started bleeding but the OB is recommending a D&C so that they can do genetic testing on the baby. They just called and they can't get me in until Thursday. I'm not sure I will make it that long but we will see. This fucking sucks.

[requiressnacks]

Jan 26, 2016 14:25:15 GMT -5 doodler said:

Well...I'm back. Yesterday we found out that I am going to miscarry again. I have already started bleeding but the OB is recommending a D&C so that they can do genetic testing on the baby. They just called and they can't get me in until Thursday. I'm not sure I will make it that long but we will see. This fucking sucks.

Oh girl, I am so, so sorry that you are back here.

[legalbeagle]

doodler, so sorry for this loss. Hope you can make it to Thurs and you can get some answers.

[notagoddess]

I'm so so sorry, doodler. I hope you make it until Thursday and are able to get some answers. Take care of yourself during this difficult time. So many hugs to you.

[pinkcat]

I'm so so sorry doodler, so many hugs to you.

[littlelion]

Jan 26, 2016 14:25:15 GMT -5 doodler said:

Well...I'm back. Yesterday we found out that I am going to miscarry again. I have already started bleeding but the OB is recommending a D&C so that they can do genetic testing on the baby. They just called and they can't get me in until Thursday. I'm not sure I will make it that long but we will see. This fucking sucks.

I'm so sorry this happened. I hope you get some answers. Take good care of yourself bmom.

[ellabee]

Oh doodler, I'm so so so sorry. Please be gentle with yourself. So many hugs for you. I hope that you're able to get some answers.

[hydrangea1019]

I'm so so sorry doodler. ((Hugs)) take care of yourself I hope you are able to get some answers.

[kayladawn91]

doodler I am so sorry you're back here.

[wannabmama]

peaseblossom55 God for you getting those shots done! I'm proud of you!
notagoddess it is SO hard to make friends as an adult and it feels so good to have some new people in your life (sometimes ones you don't know too well are even better, kind of get a "break" from anything too heavy if that makes sense.)
legalbeagle my first post-loss cycle was very short but they mostly normalized after that. Also, I hadn't even thought about Zika and then my RE nurse mentioned it when I said I was going out of town (I'm only going skiing...no risk there, ha) but now wondering if we should skip a cruise we were hoping to do this summer.
littlelion MH has been really receptive to me telling him when it's "baby making time" (so much so that this am he asked and I said no, I'm post-O and he got sad. I reminded him we could still HIO and he cheered right up, ha. Also, Zumba is great! I used to do a Friday after work class that was awesome. Maybe I'll try to start back up.
hydrangea1019 glad you had a moment to be sad but it didn't take over. I think that's important. Hugs.
ellabee I love your SIL for that!
requiressnacks I have a kitchen and can't manage to stay on track with meals...good on you!
pinkcat sorry for the confusing cycle, I hope you get clarity in a few days. Hugs.
daystardreams I know what you mean about liking the RE but hating to need it. I know part of my hesitation to go to IVF is the silly "but it worked once" mentality I have and keeping hoping that we'll get lucky one more time. It's definitely contributing to me dragging my feet. Especially when the old fashioned way is so much more fun!

[wannabmama]

doodler oh shit, that does fucking suck. I'm so sorry. Sending hugs and everything else your way. I'm so so sorry. Hugs.

[wannabmama]

How are you doing? Eh.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC, TWW

Diagnosis (if applicable): MFI (and AMA)

Updates/questions: just hanging out in a natural cycle, it was a fun break even if I have no hope that it "worked." I also have an appt with a therapist this week, curious to see if it helps!

Debbie downer (a place to vent): I'm ok

GTKY: What are you proud of yourself for today? I did not quit my job.

[notagoddess]

wannabmama, congrats for pushing through another day at a crappy job! When your job sucks that is such a drain. I hope the therapist helps with everything. Did you decide on IVF vs. IUI w/ injectables?

[daystardreams]

doodler I'm so sorry!

[peaseblossom55]

doodler oh I am so sorry to hear this my heart breaks for you. I'm sending lots of love and hugs to you over the next few days.

[notagoddess]

I had my OB appointment this morning. He said that in my circumstances, I did not come in too early, which was a relief. I was torn on coming in under a year TTCAL. Now, I think I made the right decision.

Anyway: I will be getting CD 3 and CD 21 blood work. I mentioned that sometimes I didn't ovulate until day 20 or 21; he said that he would still want it on CD 21 because later O can be a sign of lower fertility (he used different phrasing though) and he would want to know if I haven't ovulated by CD 21. I'm on CD five now so the CD 3 testing will be next cycle.

I will also be getting a SHG on Tuesday. This is my first imaging follow up to my surgery in February. I always felt anxious about not having visual confirmation that my ute is now normal ish. I am looking forward to hopefully getting that confirmation. It was completely messed up on my last SHG!

MH will be getting a SA as well. Since my testing will continue into next cycle, I think he can get it done then, giving us one more chance first.

We are going to wait on the HSG until we get the results back for everything else.

I asked the OB under what circumstances I should continue on with him versus returning to my RE (who performed my surgery). He said it depends on the test results. If they are completely normal, he would have me go to the RE. If it's an easily identified and fixable problem, he can treat me or I can go to the RE. I did not ask whether he offered monitoring with Clomid since I'm not there yet.

One thing that struck me was that he said it is possible not to ovulate normally even if BBT shows a temp shift and OPKs turn positive. I did not know that.

While making the appointment for the SHG at the front desk, I welled up with tears. I have been feeling so hopeless about TTC lately. Acknowledging that, and looking into the cause of not conceiving again, was really emotional for me. I think the weight of these past 18 months is sometimes too much.

[hydrangea1019]

Jan 27, 2016 9:29:43 GMT -5 notagoddess said:

I had my OB appointment this morning. He said that in my circumstances, I did not come in too early, which was a relief. I was torn on coming in under a year TTCAL. Now, I think I made the right decision.

Anyway: I will be getting CD 3 and CD 21 blood work. I mentioned that sometimes I didn't ovulate until day 20 or 21; he said that he would still want it on CD 21 because later O can be a sign of lower fertility (he used different phrasing though) and he would want to know if I haven't ovulated by CD 21. I'm on CD five now so the CD 3 testing will be next cycle.

I will also be getting a SHG on Tuesday. This is my first imaging follow up to my surgery in February. I always felt anxious about not having visual confirmation that my ute is now normal ish. I am looking forward to hopefully getting that confirmation. It was completely messed up on my last SHG!

MH will be getting a SA as well. Since my testing will continue into next cycle, I think he can get it done then, giving us one more chance first.

We are going to wait on the HSG until we get the results back for everything else.

I asked the OB under what circumstances I should continue on with him versus returning to my RE (who performed my surgery). He said it depends on the test results. If they are completely normal, he would have me go to the RE. If it's an easily identified and fixable problem, he can treat me or I can go to the RE. I did not ask whether he offered monitoring with Clomid since I'm not there yet.

One thing that struck me was that he said it is possible not to ovulate normally even if BBT shows a temp shift and OPKs turn positive. I did not know that.

While making the appointment for the SHG at the front desk, I welled up with tears. I have been feeling so hopeless about TTC lately. Acknowledging that, and looking into the cause of not conceiving again, was really emotional for me. I think the weight of these past 18 months is sometimes too much.

I'm so glad your appt went so well. I'm sitting here waiting for mine. I hope it's just as productive!

[notagoddess]

Jan 27, 2016 9:33:18 GMT -5 hydrangea1019 said:

Jan 27, 2016 9:29:43 GMT -5 notagoddess said:

I'm so glad your appt went so well. I'm sitting here waiting for mine. I hope it's just as productive!

I hope so too! I'm guessing we will get similar tests done. You should update after!

I found that by acknowledging our struggle and taking a proactive step, that in itself was helpful in some way.

[wannabmama]

notagoddess I'm glad the OB was helpful and you have the testing lined up. I did not know about the later O info, or that you could not be O-ing even though there's temp shift, etc. Hugs for how hard this is. I get so emotional at the strangest times. I can't remember if I said it here before, but it's ok to repeat...a friend of mine who went through all of this (IF, losses, many rounds of IUI/IVF) wrote me the other day and said, "remember, it's ok for you to be so sad about something, even something random or out of the blue, and then it's also ok to 10min later be fine." It just struck me bc sometimes the roller coaster of emotion is SO much more than I've ever experienced before, so it was nice to be reminded that whatever I'm feeling, whenever, is valid and "ok."

And...we haven't decided on IUI v IVF yet. We have about a week to decide. I really wish I had clarity about my job and what they are expecting of me in the next few months. I'd been told to not travel or schedule anything big from April-June bc of a trial, but haven't heard anything since then. If I'm not staffed on that, I'd be way more tempted to do IUI. But, with the timing, if we do IUI now, we might not be able to do IVF until July. But...since I get no information here and desperately want to leave, I don't even know how much stock to put in whether or not I'll be working on that case! Blargh.

[notagoddess]

wannabmama, again, so sorry about the shitty job. It's hard enough to decide on taking the next step of IVF without scheduling pressure. I hope so much you find something better very, very soon.

I agree that the whole thing is an emotional roller coaster. I'll be completely fine, then seemingly out of nowhere, experience very intense sadness. I've wanted a family all of my life. Being unable to start that family with my husband for a long time now, that's going to take a toll at some point.

[wannabmama]

Thanks notagoddess I feel like all I do is complain about my job...I hate being such a whiner. But it just does feel like I'm getting pelted from all angles sometimes.
Sending you bunches of hugs.

[kayladawn91]

notagoddess I'm so glad your OB was helpful and you have a plan in place. I agree with the emotions. Sometimes I just want to crawl up in a ball and cry thinking about the rollercoaster the last 18 months has been.