Goodbye
Feb 1, 2016 11:54:43 GMT -5
Post by meerkatmillie on Feb 1, 2016 11:54:43 GMT -5
Sadly, the 2BB blastocyst we transferred with IVF#1 was not to be. Here's what been going on the past few weeks with me.
6w3d T/V Ultrasound: No heartbeat found. Fetus 3.84mm (6w0d). Gestational sac measuring 8.72mm (5w2d)
The 6w3d ultrasound hit me hard. I knew my date of conception since this was an IVF retrieval/transfer. I also had an early positive HPT, so there was no chance it implanted later than we thought. There was supposed to be a heartbeat by 6w3d. The gestational sac should've been bigger (when theres less than 5mm separating fetus size and g/s size, its ominous, something like 80% miscarry). I cried so hard after the appointment, convinced this was the end. I spent several days just depressed and staring off into the void. Our RE also believed we were out, but needed us to come back in 1 week to confirm.
7w3d T/V Ultrasound: Heartbeat found! Fetus 5.08mm (6w2d). Gestational sac measuring 13.84 (6w0d)
The 7w3d ultrasound took us for surprise. We became slightly optimistic. Although the fetal growth was behind with only 1.24mm growth (2d in 1w period), we were encouraged by the discovery of a solid heartbeat of 120 bpm. We got to see it and hear it. It was so cool. The 120 bpm heart rate is at the low end of normal for 7w3d gestation, but was a solid number for the size the fetus was measuring (6w2d). With this in mind I convinced myself this guy had a small chance of making it, that the measurements were just showing a bit small because I have a retroverted ute. Our RE was still concerned. He would need to come back in another week to recheck.
8w6d T/V Ultrasound: No heartbeat found. MMC diagnosed. Instructed to stop progesterone to start the miscarriage.
Encouraged by no bleeding or spotting the whole time Ive been pregnant and the previous ultrasound results, we went in for our 8w6d check today. We were still hopeful, but the pitiful growth still had us concerned and we knew it could go either way. Unfortunately, it went the way we didn't want it to. There was no heartbeat anymore and no more growth of the fetus at all since the last ultrasound. A missed miscarriage was diagnosed and we were instructed to 1) stop the progesterone and miscarry normally or 2) take cytotec to speed the miscarriage along or 3) get a D&C if we needed any chromosomal or genetic testing on the products of conception.
Side Note -- Word of warning for others that might face miscarriage --
I am RH negative (O- blood type) and my husband is RH positive (AB+ blood type), so I had a Rhogam shot this morning to protect my future pregnancies from RH sensitivity. If you also have a negative blood type and are more than 6w when you miscarry, make sure you ask your doctor for this shot. This had completely slipped our REs mind, so we wouldn't have gotten it unless I had asked. It needs to be issued within 72 hours of spotting/bleeding.
Whats next...
This is somewhat of an unusual sentiment for having just found out I am going to miscarry, but I feel somewhat relieved. Relieved that were not left wondering anymore if this is to be, that we're done waiting. We can start to move on. I will stop the progesterone I was on for IVF and [hopefully] miscarry shortly without needing further intervention.
Don't get me wrong -- It still completely sucks to have invested so much time [and thousands of dollars] to get here and all we have to show for it is a loss. We don't even have any frosties from our first IVF attempt so if we want to try again we'll be starting from scratch. Which means more time, more discomfort of medical procedures most woman are fortunate enough not to have to endure, and of course more money. A break is in order; to fully process the news, to schedule our WTF appoint with the RE and decide on next steps. And then we'll go from there.
Hoping the rest of you ladies are able to have healthy, smooth, and uneventful pregnancies. Best of luck to each of you!
6w3d T/V Ultrasound: No heartbeat found. Fetus 3.84mm (6w0d). Gestational sac measuring 8.72mm (5w2d)
The 6w3d ultrasound hit me hard. I knew my date of conception since this was an IVF retrieval/transfer. I also had an early positive HPT, so there was no chance it implanted later than we thought. There was supposed to be a heartbeat by 6w3d. The gestational sac should've been bigger (when theres less than 5mm separating fetus size and g/s size, its ominous, something like 80% miscarry). I cried so hard after the appointment, convinced this was the end. I spent several days just depressed and staring off into the void. Our RE also believed we were out, but needed us to come back in 1 week to confirm.
7w3d T/V Ultrasound: Heartbeat found! Fetus 5.08mm (6w2d). Gestational sac measuring 13.84 (6w0d)
The 7w3d ultrasound took us for surprise. We became slightly optimistic. Although the fetal growth was behind with only 1.24mm growth (2d in 1w period), we were encouraged by the discovery of a solid heartbeat of 120 bpm. We got to see it and hear it. It was so cool. The 120 bpm heart rate is at the low end of normal for 7w3d gestation, but was a solid number for the size the fetus was measuring (6w2d). With this in mind I convinced myself this guy had a small chance of making it, that the measurements were just showing a bit small because I have a retroverted ute. Our RE was still concerned. He would need to come back in another week to recheck.
8w6d T/V Ultrasound: No heartbeat found. MMC diagnosed. Instructed to stop progesterone to start the miscarriage.
Encouraged by no bleeding or spotting the whole time Ive been pregnant and the previous ultrasound results, we went in for our 8w6d check today. We were still hopeful, but the pitiful growth still had us concerned and we knew it could go either way. Unfortunately, it went the way we didn't want it to. There was no heartbeat anymore and no more growth of the fetus at all since the last ultrasound. A missed miscarriage was diagnosed and we were instructed to 1) stop the progesterone and miscarry normally or 2) take cytotec to speed the miscarriage along or 3) get a D&C if we needed any chromosomal or genetic testing on the products of conception.
Side Note -- Word of warning for others that might face miscarriage --
I am RH negative (O- blood type) and my husband is RH positive (AB+ blood type), so I had a Rhogam shot this morning to protect my future pregnancies from RH sensitivity. If you also have a negative blood type and are more than 6w when you miscarry, make sure you ask your doctor for this shot. This had completely slipped our REs mind, so we wouldn't have gotten it unless I had asked. It needs to be issued within 72 hours of spotting/bleeding.
Whats next...
This is somewhat of an unusual sentiment for having just found out I am going to miscarry, but I feel somewhat relieved. Relieved that were not left wondering anymore if this is to be, that we're done waiting. We can start to move on. I will stop the progesterone I was on for IVF and [hopefully] miscarry shortly without needing further intervention.
Don't get me wrong -- It still completely sucks to have invested so much time [and thousands of dollars] to get here and all we have to show for it is a loss. We don't even have any frosties from our first IVF attempt so if we want to try again we'll be starting from scratch. Which means more time, more discomfort of medical procedures most woman are fortunate enough not to have to endure, and of course more money. A break is in order; to fully process the news, to schedule our WTF appoint with the RE and decide on next steps. And then we'll go from there.
Hoping the rest of you ladies are able to have healthy, smooth, and uneventful pregnancies. Best of luck to each of you!