We want #2, but I kinda want 3 years between, so we'd start trying... Summer 2017? Ish? Something like that anyway. We might stop our birth control (condoms) before then, just because a little sooner wouldn't be the end of the world, and it took us a while the first time. I wish I had consistent periods... Lol... Would make planning so much easier!
We will definitely have at least one more. H wants our kids to be two years apart, but that means we'd have to start trying at the end of the summer. I just don't know if I'm ready to be pregnant again, and to be done with that phase of my life. I'm 33, so if we waited 2 years before TTC, that puts me at 35, and basically eliminates us having a third of our own. I just don't know.
We do have my step-daughter, but she's about to turn nine. This sounds awful, but sometimes she seems more like a niece than my step-kiddo. Not knowing about her and not having her in around for the first seven years of her life is tough. We've bonded, but I wish we had a stronger one. I guess it will come with time. I do love her unconditionally and adore her, and I'm glad T has such a sweet older sister.
Kristykristyleelee I think it's so cool that you and your wife will get to both experience pregnancy and childbirth. She will be able to relate to and really understand all the things you felt emotionally and physically. That's something my H will never be able to do.
Post by baytosa2013 on Feb 27, 2016 19:48:52 GMT -5
We are also not trying this year. Dr wants me not pregnant for at least a year and 2 in day care is honesty the primary reason I may have to wait longer or if at all. It makes me beyond sad to think I might not have another because of financial reasons. If I found a work at home position or we pay everything off and I can afford part time with no daycare then I'll be all over it!
ETA: I'll be 38 this year so there is a time limit on this decision for us.
So, after I posted about trying next year, I started thinking more about it and brought it up again with DH. My birthing experience still feels so raw that it makes me cry. I had five, exhausting days of induction, including a night where mine and V's heart rate were at a concerning level ( hers low, mine high). Thank goodness they gave me Ativan! I want a second, but I'm scared to go through it again.
So, after I posted about trying next year, I started thinking more about it and brought it up again with DH. My birthing experience still feels so raw that it makes me cry. I had five, exhausting days of induction, including a night where mine and V's heart rate were at a concerning level ( hers low, mine high). Thank goodness they gave me Ativan! I want a second, but I'm scared to go through it again.
Ugh, that sounds so scary! I think a few months ago I would have said the same thing. It's taken a long time to "forget" the really painful and scary parts of my birth (for me it was the afterbirth in particular). Have you written your birth story out? Talked it through with a trusted friend? I think there are things (like that) you can do that will help. Also, time. Next year is very far away, you'll likely feel much better. xx.
So, after I posted about trying next year, I started thinking more about it and brought it up again with DH. My birthing experience still feels so raw that it makes me cry. I had five, exhausting days of induction, including a night where mine and V's heart rate were at a concerning level ( hers low, mine high). Thank goodness they gave me Ativan! I want a second, but I'm scared to go through it again.
Ugh, that sounds so scary! I think a few months ago I would have said the same thing. It's taken a long time to "forget" the really painful and scary parts of my birth (for me it was the afterbirth in particular). Have you written your birth story out? Talked it through with a trusted friend? I think there are things (like that) you can do that will help. Also, time. Next year is very far away, you'll likely feel much better. xx.
I go in waves with coping. I forget about it, and then when I remember, I automatically become anxious. I've talked about it with several family members and friends, but no one seems to relate with the whole 5 day induction thing. It doesn't help that I'll more than likely be with a different doctor in a different city due to my job. I agree with you- maybe by next year, I'll feel much different about it. Thanks for responding!
So, after I posted about trying next year, I started thinking more about it and brought it up again with DH. My birthing experience still feels so raw that it makes me cry. I had five, exhausting days of induction, including a night where mine and V's heart rate were at a concerning level ( hers low, mine high). Thank goodness they gave me Ativan! I want a second, but I'm scared to go through it again.
I'm so with you on this. I was totally not expecting a c section but had 3 weeks to prepare myself. Still lost my shit waiting to go on, spinal not working and me freaking out more about being cut and feeling it only to be put completely out before I knew what the hell was happening. I am so afraid that if there's a next time that they will tell me I need a c section and I'll need to give them the nope nope nope octopus.
Also can someone tell Me who the 2nd announcement was because I'm lazy and buzzed and can't find it. Congrats @hazeldublin!!
I want another baby at some point, but I am really scared of the first few weeks. They were damn hard and so emotional. It was all nursing related. Part of me doesn't even want to try nursing with the next baby, but then just because it didn't work out with O doesn't necessarily mean it won't be successful with my next LO. It's such a hard decision.
I want another baby at some point, but I am really scared of the first few weeks. They were damn hard and so emotional. It was all nursing related. Part of me doesn't even want to try nursing with the next baby, but then just because it didn't work out with O doesn't necessarily mean it won't be successful with my next LO. It's such a hard decision.
I hear you so very much on this. Even though I have successfully nursed V, I have contemplated not nursing the next baby (or at least not after I return to work), even if I am able to. As much as I have enjoyed that relationship with him, we've had a ton of struggles along the way, especially in the first few months, and pumping at work (and in general) has been a very low point in my post-partum experience. I have asked for and accepted almost no help overnight since V was born because I would have to pump anyway, so it made more sense to get up and deal with it. As a result, I've been overtired and stretched thin for nearly nine months, and especially in the last 6 months since I've returned to work and V has been infested with every single germ at daycare.
I digress, but I agree that it's a really hard decision, and I'm right there with you.
So with you on the breastfeeding. I am actually contemplating not even trying with the next one, it was such a rough go for me and so devastating when I couldn't do it that I'm not sure I can go through it again while dealing with a toddler.
budders I completely understand. And I know that had I been successful at nursing that I would be in that same boat. But I just so badly wanted that bond. And not to mention all the money that we have spent on formula. But in all reality, even without nursing, O and I STILL have an incredible bond.
It seems like we both have plenty of time to decide if we want to nurse baby number 2, but no matter what we decide, we will still be great mommy's and our LO's will still love us
I'm on the fence. I would be completely happy being one and done. Thinking about it from a manageability stand point anyways. My sister just had her third baby and just doing something as simple as going to the store is hectic. I like the idea of being able to do things like take family vacations and buy her the latest fad (i.e. happy bunny and phat farms like in my day) I just think financially and for my personal sanity one is probably good. Only thing that makes me want another is seeing how fast she's growing. I miss her being a cuddly newborn. Now she's a little demon child. Holy fuck that child can move quick. Turn around and she's in another room either ripping or chewing something.
Post by jillywilly on Feb 28, 2016 20:18:34 GMT -5
Can I just say how reassuring it is that I'm not the only one having anxiety over breastfeeding a hypothetical next baby? I actually brought up the idea of just going to formula with another, and DH was really negative about it, which really surprised me. When I was struggling, he was always the one that championed that he was formula fed and fine, so I shouldn't feel bad about giving ds formula. But apparently since I made it six months pumping for baby 1, baby 2 deserves the same. I just worry if we have latching issues again the idea of pumping with a baby AND a toddler seems near impossible. Right now I've just been telling myself we will cross that bridge when we actually get to it, and at least I know that one way or another I will make sure my baby is fed, and that will be all that ultimately matters.
I will be joining the NTNP group. DH and I both agree we don't want there to be too much of an age difference. I jokingly said "so pretty much anytime between now and right after C's first birthday" he agreed. Taking that as an excuse to stop my pills!
We've started taking about a third and I want another close age gap. My girls are 14 months and that possiblity has passed but I don't want more than 2 yrs between #2 and a possible 3rd. H's company is also about to lay off 5k people so that will affect this decision as well.
Post by whoopsadaisy on Mar 1, 2016 16:44:37 GMT -5
It seems a bit mad we are already talking about this - wasn't I just preg yesterday?! I've been thinking about this a lot since DH reminded me he other day that if we want our second to be 2 years after the first we have to start trying in like August. Uhhhh... That's super soon ya'll...
We will start trying for #2 in 3 months. I am still breastfeeding and also on the mini pill. I haven't had a period yet.
The plan is to try to have baby #2 in 2017 so I can take time off. Even years are crazy because of all the elections going on.
We planned J to be born on an odd year and the timing was perfect for my work schedule. Hopefully, it will work out again. I want them to be close in age. I do not want to wait to have baby #2 in 2019.
Post by littlemissgrump on Mar 2, 2016 10:24:20 GMT -5
I think I will have my short lived IUD removed in the next couple of months, then we will be on team NTNP. I would like them to be close-ish in age and kind of move past the baby and toddler stage in just a couple of years.
I'm so late to this thread, but we're NTNP right now.
I mentioned before that I haven't gotten my period back yet. I think when I do we'll start being more careful (condoms probably, depending on if I'm still nursing at night I don't think temping will work) until the fall when we'll start trying again. We'd be thrilled if I got pregnant now, but I'd like to wait a while longer before we really start trying.
Don't know if anyone recalls me. I used to be a frequent poster. I've been lurking though.
We are currently NTNP & I've just got a BFP 9 months pp. I don't even know how far along I could be as I haven't had a period yet, does anyone know how a doctor will determine this? Ultrasound?. Anyone had a similar experience?. I'm anxious but freaking out. Mixed emotions!. Hope everyone is well!
HEY! Congratulations!! I'm pretty sure a lot of us still recall you. Weren't you struggling with PPD for a while? How are you feeling lately? Congrats again!
Don't know if anyone recalls me. I used to be a frequent poster. I've been lurking though.
We are currently NTNP & I've just got a BFP 9 months pp. I don't even know how far along I could be as I haven't had a period yet, does anyone know how a doctor will determine this? Ultrasound?. Anyone had a similar experience?. I'm anxious but freaking out. Mixed emotions!. Hope everyone is well!
HEY! Congratulations!! I'm pretty sure a lot of us still recall you. Weren't you struggling with PPD for a while? How are you feeling lately? Congrats again!
Hi! I was yeah, needed to take some time out. Thank you, still trying to process. Our original plan was a two year age gap.. Guess it's happening quicker .
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