St David's Day Randoms

[musicfrk2002]

Just finally catching up here today.

We haven't baptized J or named any godparents. My mom keeps hounding us about it though. We don't actively attend church and haven't in quite some time.

We are planning on reserving a shelter at a park right by my parents house for J's birthday. My parents are going to reserve it though, since it only costs 20 bucks for them instead of the 40 it would cost us.

Just flipped the calendar to march. It's national peanut month in case anyone was wondering.

I'm hoping I'm not getting sick again. Woke up with horrible ear pain, now my throat is sore and I'm coughing like crazy again. Ugh.

[musicfrk2002]

Oh. And J managed to pull his diaper off during or at the end of his nap. Thankfully, he waited to poop until I put the clean diaper on him.

[jillywilly]

So I made the mistake of clicking on this article about Joey Feek giving her daughter her final kiss... not sure if any of you have been following this story/blog/whatever - I have been loosely, it tends to pop up in my Facebook news feed. But I almost just started sobbing here in my office. I've become a total sap since having DS.

[Widget123]

Stuck in an all day training today and I just realized my state's primary is today. Ugh. Would like to vote but who knows if I am going to have time. Probably not with my commute.

[sabrinaml]

+1 to becoming a total sap since LO arrived.
We have not baptized C, and we probably won't. Neither of us attend church and haven't since we were young. If my old church was still around, I might consider it. But they closed the doors when I was in high school. (Not Catholic, so baptizing C now or later really isn't an issue)
We haven't even discussed who we should name as guardian should something happen to both of us.
Pretty low key day here. Worked for an hour this morning before lapsit at the library. Normally we would stay for the playgroup but no one wanted to drive in the dusting of snow we had on the ground (though it was starting to get slick out after I was done at the grocery store) now I'm just home catching up on here while C naps. Then continue cleaning.
I have 2 pair of girls fleece footie pjs size 2T (Carters Just One You) if anyone would like them

She bought them for her boyfriends daughter but the daughter didn't like the footies. I know I've already started stocking up larger sized winter pjs for C since they were clearanced. (DNW to pay full price if I don't have to!)

[tatersalad]

Clearly time to join the FB group whether I will use it or not. Set my phone down to tend to chillens and got locked out of Tapatalk for the first time ever for almost an hour. Where do I apply?

[tatersalad]

Mar 1, 2016 14:55:09 GMT -5 Kristykristyleelee said:

Mar 1, 2016 14:52:13 GMT -5 tatersalad said:

Clearly time to join the FB group whether I will use it or not. Set my phone down to tend to chillens and got locked out of Tapatalk for the first time ever for almost an hour. Where do I apply?

PM me your FB name so I can skinsuit you. I mean friend request you

My tin foil hat has never been bigger....

[jessila]

purple, thank you for the lesson on St. David.

Randoms for today-PTA provided lunch. Which means I had a cupcake, 3 cookies, and a brownie. And still ate the lunch I brought, too? Yay stress eating.

Woman from yearbook coming in to take pictures during a lesson-when you say you aren't going to interrupt my lesson that generally means you aren't going to talk to the students or ask them to pose. Thanks for wasting 1/4 (10 minutes) of my weekly lesson.

Thank you fire drill for making my first graders be quiet. And getting to be in the sunshine.

Now off to the Tuesday meeting I like to complain about every week! You know your day wouldn't be complete without it!!

[ashbash]

Opened the Joey Feek story and was crying before I finished the first line. Ive always been a crier but kids have taken it to a whole different level.

[erbear]

Mar 1, 2016 10:35:19 GMT -5 carrots said:

Mar 1, 2016 10:32:22 GMT -5 erbear said:

Ahh yeah, no Catholics here so unless she chooses that for herself, she won't have that problem.

I think I figured out where I want to have lo's birthday party now. tiffbot's countdown inspired me to check! I'm just so hesitant to book an outside venue.

What kind of venue? A park? I'm with you on always being nervous about making outdoor plans!

Yep, a park! With her birthday being in graduation season, I want to book soon.

[mrsdee1982]

budders , That's a really tough situation to be in. Can you take him to the doctor and explain the situation. The doctor can then rule out any medical reason. You can then go back to your DCP and say "we've ruled out medical reasoning behind this with our Ped. It is most likely his 8 month regression and we just have to be patient with him. When he wakes up screaming, please try x,y, and z before resorting to the CIO method, as we do not use the CIO method at home"

I feel like if you don't use CIO at home, it should not be used at daycare either. I would not be ok with them doing something at daycare that I am not comfortable with doing in my home.

ETA - If you make it clear to your Ped that CIO is not a method you will be using, they should not push it on you.  They may suggest other methods, and those suggestions may prove to be helpful.  But they should not push something on you that you make clear you will not be using.

ETA something else - CIO is the clear choice for some.  For others it is not a method they are comfortable using.  Either way is not the end all be all.  Do not feel like you are making the wrong choice.  Just know that.  And hugs.  This too shall pass

[purple]

Mar 1, 2016 13:29:20 GMT -5 gilder40 said:

Mar 1, 2016 2:55:07 GMT -5 purple said:

It's March 1st! St David is the patron saint of Wales. Happy St David's Day, everyone!

What do you do to celebrate today? Do you have any special customs or traditions?

I live in Scotland now, so I've filled the house with daffodils. When L is older I'll make cawl for dinner. It's a lamb broth full of meat and veg, especially leeks and carrots. It's thickened with mashed potato and traditionally served with bread and cheese. Sounds a bit odd, but I grew up eating it and it's delicious.

In Wales, all primary school children (age four to eleven) dress in national costumes. (Do a Google image search for "gwisg Dydd Gwyl Dewi" to see some pictures.)

Most secondary schools (age eleven to eighteen) cancel all lessons and have an Eisteddfod, which is a series of contests, mostly music and poetry. My school Eisteddfod also had contests for all school subjects, which had to be completed ahead of the day. We were divided into three houses or teams. Each contest gave points for first, second and third place, and the house with the highest number of points won.

It was always my favourite day of the school year.

[ashbash]

I second @mrsdee1892

Every kid has their area that is most affected by development, growth, teeth etc. Some kids its eating others its tantrums for V it seems like sleep. I agree that patience and coffee will get you to the other side. After you rule out medical and focus on the separation anxiety part maybe really try to get him to take a lovey, take it everywhere with you, wear it in your bra, hold it while nursing. Im just thinking out loud.


Im so sorry things have gone to crap again, as Moms we know we have to make sure they eat and sleep above all else so when that isnt going well its so stressful. All the hugs Mama

[billyhorrible]

budders,hugs.

You're not alone in this. Not to the same extreme, but BH regularly has days at daycare he doesn't nap. As much as I don't love my DCP, I do appreciate the fact that she just shrugs it off. LBB was never much of a napper at daycare either, although fantastic at home.

Everything with them changes so quickly, that it's important to see the forest, not just the trees. The big picture is that if he's happy and healthy when he's awake, then the napping or lack thereof is not something to get overly stressed out about. (And this is coming from someone who has a "no one gets a choice about naps at home" policy - but I have more control of the variables at home, and can put the time into getting them down)

In terms of feeling judged, my initial reaction is immediate anger with her and defensive of you. But taking a step back, is it possible you're reading something that isn't there? Because sleep issues are such a sore spot, that everyone feels like any question about it is an attack?

[3dimesdown]

Mar 1, 2016 16:46:33 GMT -5 mrsdee1982 said:

I feel like if you don't use CIO at home, it should not be used at daycare either. I would not be ok with them doing something at daycare that I am not comfortable with doing in my home.

I agree with this so much. budders that is a really tough place to be in, but CIO makes me really uncomfortable. I know it works for some, but it is 100% not for me. If my DCP was leaving my kid to scream I'd be pretty pissed off TBH. If you can move the ped appointment up, I'd do that just to confirm there's nothing going medically, but if you can't, I wouldn't worry about it until next week.

Also, my kid screams bloody murder when she wakes up in bed by herself. Then is happy as a clam when someone picks her up (well, if I pick her up. Sometimes she's not real happy with DH... the mommy phase has to end eventually though...)

[mrsdee1982]

Mar 1, 2016 16:54:20 GMT -5 ashbash said:

I second @mrsdee1892

Every kid has their area that is most affected by development, growth, teeth etc. Some kids its eating others its tantrums for V it seems like sleep. I agree that patience and coffee will get you to the other side. After you rule out medical and focus on the separation anxiety part maybe really try to get him to take a lovey, take it everywhere with you, wear it in your bra, hold it while nursing. Im just thinking out loud.


Im so sorry things have gone to crap again, as Moms we know we have to make sure they eat and sleep above all else so when that isnt going well its so stressful. All the hugs Mama

This is how we got C to take a lovey. I wore that sucker in my bra every night for a week while I was sleeping.  When I would nurse her, I would hold it gently against one side of her face.  While soothing her at night, I would hold it to her chest while rocking her.  After about a week of that, she associated it with me and it sleeps in her crib every night now.  In fact, we bought multiples and I got my scent onto each one.  This way we have backups if one goes missing.  

[Bluedaisy]

budders, no advice but hugs and good thoughts for you!

[gilder40]

budders, I'm so sorry that things are so rough. I wish I could help or offer a magic solution. Being a teacher is hard enough...add working with kids with disabilities in the mix with no sleep....there's no way. Just freaking sucks.

I second what mrsdee1982 said. If you visit your Ped, and they rule out ear infections, reflux, etc, then you should be able to move forward knowing it's not a physical issue causing it. T started going through a bad regression at night right after Christmas, and was waking up crying every hour or two. MH works nights, so I just put her in bed with me. Probably not the optimal choice, but its getting us through. I'm in survival mode until May.

I also don't think the daycare provider should be doing CIO if you're not. From a behavioral standpoint, that's not consistent across environments. I woukd think the inconsistency would confuse or stress V out. Not to mention, he's your kid and you should have a say in what happens to your baby!! And I can't do CIO either. I just don't have it in me.

[mrsdee1982]

I agree with Kristykristyleelee. There is not 1 method of sleep training. As with everything else in mothering, you've got to do what you've got to do to survive and you've got to modify things to work best for you in your situation with your specific child. Screw everyone else and what worked for them.

I will just share for anecdotal purposes our story. C has adapted very well to the "put down awake and let her fall asleep on her own" method. But there was a period of time when she would just scream and cry. I couldn't bring myself to CIO. Then one night, when she was about 6 1/2 months old she screamed and screamed, so I went in and picked her up and the second I picked her up, she smiled and giggled and it was a very clear "Oh, I won. I got mommy to come back. Cool, this is how I get my way" moment for her. I could clearly see that. The second I even bent forward to try and lay her back down, she started screaming again. As soon as I would straighten up, back to smiling and giggling. I took her out to my DH and said "I'm not strong enough for this. You are taking her. You're going to lay her down. She's going to scream. You're to set an alarm for 5 minutes. Go in and soothe her, but don't pick her up. Then set an alarm for 8 minutes. Same routine. Set an alarm for 11 minutes. Keep doing this, extending each time by 3 minutes until she is asleep. Until then, I am taking a bottle of wine and I'm going to go sit in the shower and cry. Come get me when it's safe to come out."

about 20 minutes later my husband was peeling me off the bathroom floor. It only took 2 alarm cycle for her to go to bed. And it only took that one night. Now, don't get me wrong. There are still nights where she doesn't go to sleep as soon as she's laid down, but she rarely screams now. And when she does, we do the spread out soothing thing. Only a few times have we just completely gotten her up and totally hit "re-set" on the bedtime thing.

Now, this is what works for us. May not work for others, and that's ok. This is what we had to do.

[sabrinaml]

budders, no advice but lots of hugs.

[mrsdee1982]

budders, Do you have any PTO saved up, or perhaps an extended break from school coming up? Like spring break or something? Perhaps having a week or so of being able to stay home with him, and not having to go to work would be what you need to try whatever method it is that you are comfortable with.

[sabrinaml]

Question:
Have any of you tried the toddler version of formula? Enfamil sent me coupons for Enfagrow. I checked it out at target and it says 9-18 months (I plan on having C on milk by 1, not paying for formula of any kind much past 1.). The reason I'm asking is because it's so much cheaper than regular infant formula. A 20 oz can is $17.99 vs 21.5 oz reg formula is $25. I've tried a few infant formula generic brands (SAMs club and target) and C did not do well with them at all.

[mrsdee1982]

Mar 1, 2016 17:25:35 GMT -5 budders said:

Mar 1, 2016 17:15:16 GMT -5 mrsdee1982 said:

I agree with Kristykristyleelee . There is not 1 method of sleep training. As with everything else in mothering, you've got to do what you've got to do to survive and you've got to modify things to work best for you in your situation with your specific child. Screw everyone else and what worked for them.

I will just share for anecdotal purposes our story. C has adapted very well to the "put down awake and let her fall asleep on her own" method. But there was a period of time when she would just scream and cry. I couldn't bring myself to CIO. Then one night, when she was about 6 1/2 months old she screamed and screamed, so I went in and picked her up and the second I picked her up, she smiled and giggled and it was a very clear "Oh, I won. I got mommy to come back. Cool, this is how I get my way" moment for her. I could clearly see that. The second I even bent forward to try and lay her back down, she started screaming again. As soon as I would straighten up, back to smiling and giggling. I took her out to my DH and said "I'm not strong enough for this. You are taking her. You're going to lay her down. She's going to scream. You're to set an alarm for 5 minutes. Go in and soothe her, but don't pick her up. Then set an alarm for 8 minutes. Same routine. Set an alarm for 11 minutes. Keep doing this, extending each time by 3 minutes until she is asleep. Until then, I am taking a bottle of wine and I'm going to go sit in the shower and cry. Come get me when it's safe to come out."

about 20 minutes later my husband was peeling me off the bathroom floor. It only took 2 alarm cycle for her to go to bed. And it only took that one night. Now, don't get me wrong. There are still nights where she doesn't go to sleep as soon as she's laid down, but she rarely screams now. And when she does, we do the spread out soothing thing. Only a few times have we just completely gotten her up and totally hit "re-set" on the bedtime thing.

Now, this is what works for us. May not work for others, and that's ok. This is what we had to do.

See, and this is where I get stuck. I do think he's crying and screaming because he wants me to pick him up, but when I do, it's never a smiley "I got my way" moment. He's usually still half asleep and his whole body, which was tense and agitated, just relaxes. I think that's why the DCP is concerned about a medical issue, and why I struggle with sleep training. Whether the reason is physical or emotional, I don't know, but I strongly believe that he actually needs me to help him regulate himself right now.

Then this is what you need to do.  You need to follow your gut, momma.  Us here, your DCP and your Ped can all offer anecdotes and "helpful hints", but ultimately, you know what's best and what will work for your babe.  And remember, what's best for him now, may not have been what was best for him 2 months ago, and it may not be what's best for him 2 months from now.  So just do your best.  Adapt as you need.  And follow you gut.  

But also, rule out any medical issues, just for peace of mind.   

You got this.  You're an amazing mom and you can do this.  

[hannahl201477]

I have no advice. But I know I would be hurt in a sense to get a note like that. I also know my ass would have been chewed out for sending a note like that home at the daycare I work at.
Mal is now not liking to take naps and refuses to let us lay him down. It sucks! So I feel for you. Personally, I wouldn't think it would be medical if he does calm down? I'm sure it's just sleep regression!! Hugs to you though budders!!

[gilder40]

budders Amazon has some cute loveys that are animal/blanket combos with tags on the edge. T loves her hedgehog one. She chews and sucks on the tags and it goes everywhere with her. She's been sleeping a little better since we introduced it.

[holliberry28]

Hugs, budders. I agree that she should not be doing CIO at daycare without your permission and discussing it with you first. I hope you can speak with her about your concerns without feeling judged. Hopefully, you can move up your 9 month checkup earlier to have piece of mind.

You know that we've done CIO, but still now every time we put M to bed he cries for 5-15 min. I think some babies just have a harder time sleeping than others, despite what type of sleep training or soothing you do. M also wakes up screaming and crying, and there isn't physically wrong, I think it's just how he copes now. Point is, CIO has helped us immensely, but M still has those same responses as V, even with the sleep training.

Have you checked out preciouslittlesleep.com? It was a lifesaver for me. Sorry if I suggested it before.
Hang in there, whatever you decide to do, it will get better and you are such a wonderful mom.

Eta: hope it was clear I'm not suggesting CIO.

[billyhorrible]

Mar 1, 2016 17:35:25 GMT -5 budders said:

I'm sure she's not actually judging me, I just get sensitive about this issue, and I do automatically go on the defensive. As much as his lack of sleep has sucked, I was feeling fairly comfortable and confident about how I was dealing with it. Now I feel like I have to solve the issue for her too.

Yup,  I think this is a natural reaction.  Does it make you feel better to know that you're damned if you do, damned if you don't?  Because look at all the justifications Kristykristyleelee and mrsdee1982 have in their stories of CIO.  Even though no one here has made any sort of anti-CIO statement.  It's a natural reaction to these polarizing issues.  As moms we have a hard time just saying "this is what I do" without someone hearing "if you don't do it this way you're damaging your child."

Don't worry about solving the issue for her too.  From experience, even if things work with you, they will be different with every other person who cares for your son.  Even your husband.  Everyone has to find their own way. 

And be confident in your decisions.  I think in general there's a lot less judging than we imagine.  Maybe this is naive, but I think we're all so concerned with what we're doing, that unless there's a real child welfare/endangerment issue, most people aren't nearly as concerned about what others are doing.

[erbear]

I'm sorry, budders. Sleep is challenging, and you've gone though a lot with V in regards to it. I can't add anything that hasn't already been said, so I'll echo that you're a great mom and you know V best.

I was pushed to do CIO and we've done some modified versions of it. I make a judgement call on if she wants up to play or if she really needs me. A pediatrician in our office told me she didn't need to nurse at night, but you know what? She does. It comforts her. I know that and he doesn't. Mama's intuition is the best!

[Widget123]

Sorry budders. I cant even imagine our daycare doing CIO for naps. Please try to stay strong.

[Widget123]

Made it to the polls but it was pretty deserted; however, allegedly our state had pretty high turnout. Nervous about the idea of Trump having another good night.