How long have you been TTC
Mar 5, 2016 10:57:35 GMT -5
Post by ohinvrtedworld on Mar 5, 2016 10:57:35 GMT -5
Mar 5, 2016 3:15:08 GMT -5 @samrs22 said:
I choose the 6m-12 months. I feel for everyone facing IF. I never understood the struggle until I joined TCF. I want to get pregnant in the fall, and I will feel like a jerk if I get a BFP before people who have have been trying for years.
It took me 3 cycles to get pregnant the first time. We decided we wanted a baby and started trying and then I panicked and we had a serious talk about I want to get married first. I don’t want to get married because we are pregnant or for that to be what it looks like. (Sorry if that is a UO)
We got married 2 weeks after that discussion, started off as eloping and then became a little wedding at my mom’s house. We got pregnant that month.
I joined the bump because they had cute pictures of fruit to track your pregnancy. (Another UO?)
And I was crazy bombarded with MC info and that made me so mad, like quit raining on my parade! And then I had a loss and deleted the bump and freaked out and didn’t tell anyone about my pregnancy or loss for 3 months. Now I come here to GKU and talk about my loss. So I have become what I didn’t want to see.
I do not tell anyone IRL that I want to get pregnant or want kids. Partially fear of another loss, but mostly the rude as fuck responses I got when talking about having a family right after I got married. Directed at the public not any one here: Keep your generalizations to yourself. I know you can’t give them back and that they are a huge responsibility, it’s not rushing just because it’s the first time you have heard me talk about it.
And yes, I've heard a lot of those responses when I didn't even mention having kids ("oh just wait, you have plenty of time" "just wait till you have kids, you can't do this or that anymore") and it's the actual worst. No one should make you feel bad about your family planning, even if it's lighthearted. I'm starting to be more open about our IF struggles strategically so that the people who do this all the time will know better, and if they keep at it, I can remind them that it's hurtful right now and to please refrain.