Bi-weekly vodka and cheese 3/9

[skategirl128]

Time to update all of us on all that is fabulous in your time. Tell us what's the good, bad and in-between!

Sending much love and hugs to all of you lovelies!

[elliecat17]

renegadewhit (hugs) i'm sorry lady that your doctor wasn't even willing to consider your thoughts and feelings in this whole journey. it's hard when the little control we have over our bodies and choices is removed. However I love your countdown, and I'm glad you guys are getting out this week!

ASM: Not much here. School is killer, the homework is getting me, and since it's day 5 of the TWW and day 2 of progesterone supps I am a moody exhausted mess. I can barely keep my eyes open, which is not helping me study! I'm also starting to wonder if I want to continue in the TTC world. I was driving along today and I realized it's not such a pressing issue to me any more. However that might also mean that I am finally starting to get to a place where I really am ready to try again. The loss doesn't seem as fresh or as painful. I know I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet, I'm too young to give up (though I don't think I really would until menopause). But it also isn't as time/soul consuming, which may be healthy! H and I are also talking about and looking into trying a new doctor since the one we are with is really not helping us at all. I am also looking into NaPro Technology, because I know we are nearing the place where the RE is going to start talking about next steps and religiously IVF and IUI are not options for us. So that means heading in a slightly different direction. But I also feel peace about this which is very comforting.

In other news, it has been in the 40s and 50s and the snow is melting! I'm starting to put some serious thought into my garden, and that excites me!

[skategirl128]

Happy anniversary renegadewhit! I'm sorry you're having a rough go. So many big hugs and love headed your way. The anxiety absolutely could be gluten related. I've seen huge behavior changes, etc due to gluten exposure. We've had to be gluten free at home for five years now. Please let me know if I can help in anyway.

But, I totally get work stress and needing a new job. My old job was clearly not a good fit and I'm so much happier. I did take a bit of a move downward (I was head of my teaching department and now I'm not in my new school) but it has been well worth it for me! I'm also sorry you're still benched! Love your countdown more hugs and love to you!


elliecat17 I'm glad you are starting to feel peace in your journey. It's hard to get to that place and I'm glad you seem to be doing well. Big hugs your way!

[skategirl128]

I survived SOs surgery. I've managed to avoid anyone close to me needing anything since late-FI died. It really resurfaced a lot of the anxiety and helplessness and grief. I'm realizing that I really need help again so I made myself an appointment with my therapist I used after he died. She was really great and I know this will help me develop some coping/managing skills. I've done a lot of avoiding and that's really not healthy.

The weather is gorgeous though and I've been outside every night after school! I love this weather I'm getting excited to be able start gardening in a month or so!

[elliecat17]

renegadewhit It looks for biomarkers, and then tries to solve the problems without having to do a lot of invasive actions. They look for causes of loss, infertility etc. It's a lot of what we already do with charting our cycles, and then a lot of blood work at various times in the cycle. You can look them up either under NaPro Technology or Pope Paul VI Institute.

[muscari]

skategirl128 , so glad to read about your SO's surgery, Here's to a smooth recovery. I'm so sorry though that this has resurfaced so much emotions (understandebly though) **hugs** I hope that your renewed therapy sessions will be a big step and positive change towards putting your anxiety and all behind you and being able to move forward again feeling better.

renegadewhit , I'm so sorry that your dr didn't even consult with you when he made that decision. That must have been a huge blow cause even though you hadn't fully made up your mind yourself yet, at least there was the possibility which now has been taken away. **hugs** I noticed your ticker some time last week I think, and I think it's great to see it tick down. Good luck with your continued job hunt, I hope something really nice turns up soon for you! I totally understand how job hunting and thinking about TTC hightens your anxiety.. it's the same for me and sometimes does my head in. Ugh. Your weekend sounds lovely - wishing you and YH a wonderful time! Ohh and happy belated anniversary!

elliecat17, school is no joke when you have to juggle so many other things as well (don't I know it). Are you liking it though (apart from the homework and feeling run down and stressed)? Good luck with any exams or tests you may have coming up soon. I'm glad to read you're coming to a better place when it comes to your losses and ttc and that it's no longer as soul-consuming as before. I hadn't heard of NaPro either so did a bit of googling - that sounds interesting!

AFM, heading to the hospital in an hour to talk with the RE about this new POF dx and further testing and possibilities of IVF/ICSI and what not. When I got the news last week I was all determined to go in armed with a good list of questions, but in all honesty I'm currently feeling mostly blank. I did have some questions but didn't write them down (very unlike me).. I've been in an odd place this past week. I think for today I'll just do a lot of listening and ask questions that pop up when they do, and go from there. It's still a lot to take in. Will update again once I know some more.

[grneyes]

renegadewhit, Big (((hugs))), I'm so sorry you have been struggling lately. I get a lot of anxiety too when I try and think about life and making decisions along with ttc. I think I've started to move towards a point of making sure I'm living my life and if we do happen to get pregnant we will find a way to make it work. I've spent too long planning on the what if we get pregnant by 'next month etc. etc.'. I hope these last couple months on the bench fly by for you! GL with the job search, and enjoy your weekend!

skategirl128, I think that's a great idea to see the therapist again, they can be so helpful. Big (((hugs))).

elliecat17, FX for this cycle! I hope the new doctor/testing allows you guys to come up with a good plan that fits for you.

muscari, GL with your appointment, let us know it goes! It's pretty overwhelming and such a big step, I hope you feel more confident/informed about your options going forward. Make sure you get AMH tested if you haven't already.


AFM, I've been having a hard time as well. Spring is finally here, and it keeps reminding me about how far along I should have been for our May EDD this year. This past cycle was also tough on me - I might have had a CP. I continued to have faint positives until 12 DPO, then BFNs after that. There's no way to know for sure if it wasn't the Ovidrel shot, but it's never stayed in my system that long before or produced that many symptoms. Plan is to increase my Femara dose next cycle in hopes of getting more than one follicle.

[elliecat17]

renegadewhit No problem! Not many people do know, because it's something that isn't discussed often unless you have some really deep training.

grneyes thanks. And I'm sorry it's been hard, milestones just come and kick you when you don't expect them sometimes. it sounds like a CP to me too. ((HUGS))

muscari let us know how it went lady! It's a tough diagnosis to come to terms with. Don't be afraid to ask though! Ask everything!!! School is greta by the way! I'm really enjoying it, and I'm glad I decided to do it. I have 2 exams this week. One today and one tomorrow. I'm a little nervous about the one tomorrow because I feel i don't know the info as well, but that's ok!

[skategirl128]

Good luck muscari! It's a lot to take in. I hope your appointment goes well! Big hugs your way!

grneyes big hugs to you! I'm sorry this cycle was tough and that your EDD is coming up. Much love!

[cali]

renegadewhit, happy anniversary! I'm sorry you've been having a tough time lately. Sounds like you have a lot going on. I hope you can find some time to relax and take care of you.

elliecat17, I hear you on the school stuff. It's a lot of work. That NaPro technology sounds interesting. GL!

skategirl128, ((hugs)) I'm glad SO made it through ok and also glad you're going to talk to someone. I hope that will help you work through everything you've been through.

muscari, I'm so sorry for your new DX. How did your appointment with the RE go?

grneyes, sounds like a cp to me too. I'm so sorry. ((Hugs)) I hope increasing your Femara dosage helps. GL.

AFM, I made an appointment with a new RE for next Monday. I'm hoping I like him and that he feels like he can help me. MH and I are just really ready to move forward. Our EDD anniversary was last week and it made me sad but also kind of made me realize how long weve been at this. We've kind of been doing nothing since the beginning of the year (and kinda of hoping maybe it would just happen for us on a natural cycle) but now we're motivated to move on with treatment. So I really hope this appt goes well. Also, spring break is next week. It will be so nice just to have time off from school!

[grneyes]

Thanks, ladies for all the love.

cali, I hope the apt with the new RE goes well and he has some ideas for you that you feel good about. Update us after your appointment!

crimpgirl, I'm so sorry again for your loss and the timing. I'm glad to hear the new job is going well so far though. One thing I might consider - is the drug coverage for just IUIs or total lifetime? If that's all you get, I would be pretty tempted to skip more IUIs and just do an IVF cycle instead for the much higher success rate and ability to potentially freeze embryos if you wanted more than one child. Success rates for unexplained infertility for an IUI is around 8%, for being AMA, IVF is around 35-40%, of course the IVF rates might fluctuate a bit depending on the clinic and other factors as well.

[grneyes]

Mar 15, 2016 18:43:55 GMT -5 crimpgirl said:

renegadewhit . Ugh yes! Why do they whine about their kids? Why do they have them then?

grneyes . Thanks lady . We've put a lot of thought into it and we have decided IVF just isn't for us. Our plan has a lifetime max of $2400. Even if we did IVF, it wouldn't cover much of the drugs and wouldn't cover the procedure at all. When we see he RE next month for our follow up we'll have a better idea. This last CP was a natural cycle. I'm still nervous with 2 losses that something bigger is going on. But we'll just have to wait and see.

You're welcome.  Ah, okay that really isn't much drug coverage then.  I would ask the RE about any additional testing before moving forward.  Since my losses have been on the earlier side, my RE recommends 400 mg of progesterone starting 3DPO (to build up the lining) and baby aspirin (to improve blood flow/blood supply to the lining/an embryo), so I would ask about that. I'm assuming you have already had some kind of uterine assessment (HSG/SIS)? Those are the main things that would apply to early losses.  There is the whole field of reproductive immunology, but it's pretty controversial.  GL!