fFFc

[Andrea]

I left out my Valentine's Day gift to DH on our bedroom dresser last weekend after finally getting around to using it.

My mom spent all weekend at my house. She saw the gift on the dresser.

So, I had to explain to my mother what a vibrating cock ring is and how it works.

My husband now hates me & will not make eye contact with my mom.

The end.

[kleigh]

Mar 11, 2016 11:17:33 GMT -5 @pineappleoranges said:

Lady, your work isn't up to par. Sorry, we have to let you go. Please keep in touch.

Remember to text me the name of the restaurant for dinner on Friday. :-)

You are a brave soul! I specifically avoided a job years ago that would've made me the manager of my former coworkers/still my friends. One of those people ended up becoming my husband but I know if I was his manager o would've had to fire him. FFFC?

[♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪]

Mar 11, 2016 10:49:29 GMT -5 bex15 said:

FFFC, when I first started this job I got really drunk at a work golf tournament and crashed a golf cart, it was...not my finest moment obviously. I'm lucky to have an understanding boss.

That particular tournament now no longer allows alcohol at the holes because of me.

I don't think this is funny or cute. Maybe my FFFC is that I am a scrooge about this stuff, but I don't understand driving anything drunk.

[ceejay]

Mar 11, 2016 11:33:06 GMT -5 Andrea said:

I left out my Valentine's Day gift to DH on our bedroom dresser last weekend after finally getting around to using it.

My mom spent all weekend at my house. She saw the gift on the dresser.

So, I had to explain to my mother what a vibrating cock ring is and how it works.

My husband now hates me & will not make eye contact with my mom.

The end.

LOL. This is hilarious. And super awkward. I cannot even imagine having to explain this to my mom.

[butlerfan]

Mar 11, 2016 11:33:06 GMT -5 Andrea said:

I left out my Valentine's Day gift to DH on our bedroom dresser last weekend after finally getting around to using it.

My mom spent all weekend at my house. She saw the gift on the dresser.

So, I had to explain to my mother what a vibrating cock ring is and how it works.

My husband now hates me & will not make eye contact with my mom.

The end.

And we have today's winner.

[Andrea]

Mar 11, 2016 11:38:10 GMT -5 ****** said:

Mar 11, 2016 11:33:06 GMT -5 Andrea said:

I left out my Valentine's Day gift to DH on our bedroom dresser last weekend after finally getting around to using it.

My mom spent all weekend at my house. She saw the gift on the dresser.

So, I had to explain to my mother what a vibrating cock ring is and how it works.

My husband now hates me & will not make eye contact with my mom.

The end.

literal lol

But, srs question. Vibrating Cock ring? Totally worth it? How did you get YH to try it?

Totally worth it, I got a cheapo one just in case it was a bust. I think it was like $16 on Amazon. He said it was awesome for him, and I am definitely a convert.

It freaked him out when he first got it, but then he got curious. I started sending him reviews and then we finally went for it.

[bex15]

Mar 11, 2016 11:40:25 GMT -5 ♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪ said:

Mar 11, 2016 10:49:29 GMT -5 bex15 said:

FFFC, when I first started this job I got really drunk at a work golf tournament and crashed a golf cart, it was...not my finest moment obviously. I'm lucky to have an understanding boss.

That particular tournament now no longer allows alcohol at the holes because of me.

I don't think this is funny or cute. Maybe my FFFC is that I am a scrooge about this stuff, but I don't understand driving anything drunk.

I know it was a really stupid thing to do and I regret it

[Andrea]

Mar 11, 2016 11:42:18 GMT -5 butlerfan said:

Mar 11, 2016 11:33:06 GMT -5 Andrea said:

I left out my Valentine's Day gift to DH on our bedroom dresser last weekend after finally getting around to using it.

My mom spent all weekend at my house. She saw the gift on the dresser.

So, I had to explain to my mother what a vibrating cock ring is and how it works.

My husband now hates me & will not make eye contact with my mom.

The end.

And we have today's winner.

[ohinvrtedworld]

Mar 11, 2016 9:55:34 GMT -5 ohinvrtedworld said:

FFFC: I can't bring myself to flame most people very hard, even if they totally deserve it. I always imagine them as bawling their eyes out at the computer, and it makes me feel too bad. Especially if they are just kinda clueless rather than intentionally cruel.

I just read everyone else's flames and nod in agreement.

... no one wants to flame me for not being snarky enough?? You guys have gone soft after all.

ETA:  

[PirateCat]

Mar 11, 2016 11:43:11 GMT -5 Andrea said:

Mar 11, 2016 11:38:10 GMT -5 ****** said:

literal lol

But, srs question. Vibrating Cock ring? Totally worth it? How did you get YH to try it?

Totally worth it, I got a cheapo one just in case it was a bust. I think it was like $16 on Amazon. He said it was awesome for him, and I am definitely a convert.

It freaked him out when he first got it, but then he got curious. I started sending him reviews and then we finally went for it.

I like a gift where you have to send Amazon reviews to convince the person to even try it. 

[rablissful]

I am currently wearing corduroys...

So comfy. Don't curr.

[PirateCat]

Mar 11, 2016 11:59:08 GMT -5 @pineappleoranges said:

Mar 11, 2016 11:35:14 GMT -5 kleigh said:

You are a brave soul! I specifically avoided a job years ago that would've made me the manager of my former coworkers/still my friends. One of those people ended up becoming my husband but I know if I was his manager o would've had to fire him. FFFC?

I was once H's manager. Also sent him home a few times in lieu of taking disciplinary action. this was before we admitted to FEEEEEELINNNNNGS.

Scandalous! 

[rablissful]

I think I'm going to call out to Petsmart tonight.

I woke up with my pain level at a 9/10. Legit almost in tears trying to walk to my classroom. I even took the elevator instead of the 3 flights of stairs. I'm feeling much better now (down to probably a 6/7) but I have to be at Petsmart AGAIN tomorrow at 7am. I could probably grin and bear through tonight (5-9:30), but I'll probably want to die in the morning.

I never call out of work unless I'm dying, so knowing that I could grin and bear it tonight and still calling out makes me feel like I'm playing hooky. Plus I'll feel bad if they can't find someone and it's super busy tonight. /sigh

I swear to fuck if they don't fix my schedule I'm going to go crazy.

[kleigh]

Mar 11, 2016 12:00:40 GMT -5 PirateCat said:

Mar 11, 2016 11:59:08 GMT -5 @pineappleoranges said:

I was once H's manager. Also sent him home a few times in lieu of taking disciplinary action. this was before we admitted to FEEEEEELINNNNNGS.

Scandalous! 

And then pineapple was all "Mr Oranges I'm going to have to send you home... my home..right now!" Bow chicka bow wow...

[hydrangea1019]

@pineappleoranges moving 1200 miles away is scary and exciting! I think people would be worried for you if you weren't a bit scared.

AFM

I'm sitting here listening to The Twilight Saga: New Moon soundtrack. I totally forgot it was on my phone and now I'm in the mood to watch all the movies!

[PirateCat]

Mar 11, 2016 12:04:31 GMT -5 kleigh said:

Mar 11, 2016 12:00:40 GMT -5 PirateCat said:

Scandalous! 

And then pineapple was all "Mr Oranges I'm going to have to send you home... my home..right now!" Bow chicka bow wow...

And then she had to take "disciplinary action". 

[easilyunamused]

Mar 11, 2016 12:03:10 GMT -5 @pineappleoranges said:

The 17 people who likes Corduroy please come to the front of the class.

And corduroy is cute and comfy when done right. I love my skinny grey cords!

[bex15]

Mar 11, 2016 11:49:45 GMT -5 @pineappleoranges said:

Mar 11, 2016 11:43:34 GMT -5 bex15 said:

I know it was a really stupid thing to do and I regret it

that's good. you could've seriously hurt yourself or someone else. A quick google search for  "golf cart alcohol death" brings up a lot of horror stories. 

I know, I'm glad nothing serious happened and have definitely learned from my stupidity

[pibblemom]

Mar 11, 2016 11:40:24 GMT -5 @pineappleoranges said:

If enough people start complaining about the same thing at what point does a business owner have to address the complaints?

Depends on the complaints I think. If it becomes a trend and is fixable, ASAP. If it is not immediately fixable (financially, etc.), a plan should be put in place to examine the complaints and to see what needs to be done to address them, to maybe soften the issue if not fix it completely. If it is impossible to fix (i.e., property boundaries etc.) and is a quirk of your business that people like to complain about, so sorry, thats how we are.

[risscaboobs]

Mar 11, 2016 12:05:20 GMT -5 hydrangea1019 said:

@pineappleoranges moving 1200 miles away is scary and exciting! I think people would be worried for you if you weren't a bit scared.

AFM

I'm sitting here listening to The Twilight Saga: New Moon soundtrack. I totally forgot it was on my phone and now I'm in the mood to watch all the movies!

I love all of those soundtracks

[samanthasays]

Womens Health had a click bait article on my FB feed: "Men Think You're Hottest After You Do This"

My first thought was "give them a blow job".

The answer is have a drink. Apparently if you drink men think you are more attractive. I bet drinking their jiz counts.

[ohinvrtedworld]

Mar 11, 2016 13:18:39 GMT -5 @pineappleoranges said:

I wonder what happened to @heatherj0963

I don't remember who that is

[ceejay]

There are quite a few people I wonder what happened to them. Sometimes I search their names under the members tab to see if they have logged in recently.

[ohinvrtedworld]

Mar 11, 2016 14:15:50 GMT -5 ceejay said:

There are quite a few people I wonder what happened to them. Sometimes I search their names under the members tab to see if they have logged in recently.

Yup! Or I remember people GBTCFing and want to go find where it happened to remember why. Not always successful. Dang it, Proboards searching.

[icaughtfire]

This week I've tried to convince my husband to have the butt sex with me because I couldn't poop. I knew it would be no issue shortly after the end of butt sex. He absolutely refused. I literally begged my husband "WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST PUT YOUR DICK IN MY ASS? JUST FOR LIKE 2 MINUTES?!" This has not been my proudest moment.

[pibblemom]

Mar 11, 2016 15:10:19 GMT -5 icaughtfire said:

This week I've tried to convince my husband to have the butt sex with me because I couldn't poop. I knew it would be no issue shortly after the end of butt sex. He absolutely refused. I literally begged my husband "WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST PUT YOUR DICK IN MY ASS? JUST FOR LIKE 2 MINUTES?!" This has not been my proudest moment.

did you also tell him it was because you couldn't poop? I could see how that could be not very sexy.

[requiressnacks]

Hahaaaaaa! icaughtfire. Sorry it didn't work out for you.

[icaughtfire]

Mar 11, 2016 15:19:23 GMT -5 pibblemom said:

Mar 11, 2016 15:10:19 GMT -5 icaughtfire said:

This week I've tried to convince my husband to have the butt sex with me because I couldn't poop. I knew it would be no issue shortly after the end of butt sex. He absolutely refused. I literally begged my husband "WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST PUT YOUR DICK IN MY ASS? JUST FOR LIKE 2 MINUTES?!" This has not been my proudest moment.

did you also tell him it was because you couldn't poop? I could see how that could be not very sexy.

Of course I did. Butt sex isn't a planned thing, it just happens in the moment. So I tried to seduce him & then was all "okay, listen I just need you to put it in my butt." He was cracking up & told me to go away. This was not a time for sexy, this was an emergency!

[Andrea]

Mar 11, 2016 15:10:19 GMT -5 icaughtfire said:

This week I've tried to convince my husband to have the butt sex with me because I couldn't poop. I knew it would be no issue shortly after the end of butt sex. He absolutely refused. I literally begged my husband "WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST PUT YOUR DICK IN MY ASS? JUST FOR LIKE 2 MINUTES?!" This has not been my proudest moment.

I hand my FFFC crown to you.

[risscaboobs]

Mar 11, 2016 15:27:36 GMT -5 icaughtfire said:

Mar 11, 2016 15:19:23 GMT -5 pibblemom said:

did you also tell him it was because you couldn't poop? I could see how that could be not very sexy.

Of course I did. Butt sex isn't a planned thing, it just happens in the moment. So I tried to seduce him & then was all "okay, listen I just need you to put it in my butt." He was cracking up & told me to go away. This was not a time for sexy, this was an emergency!

Dildo? Will he do that for you?