Toddler Discipline

[walterjenne]

Add me to the list of those with a toddler that barely talks. He has sounds for certain things so I sometimes know what he wants. It all depends on the context though. Our old pediatrician wasn't at all concerned and told me not to be for a while yet, our new one was shocked and started recommending EI and made me feel like a horrible mom because we weren't doing anything about it.

I may have overreacted about the new dr but she rubbed me the wrong way because she had maybe spent 15 minutes max with us. I will not be going back to her unless we need a sick visit and she's the only one with an available appt...all this to say we are in the very few words club too.

[soon2bmrsn]

Mine doesn't say much either. It's so weird how some talk early and others don't. DS1 and DD have been similarly slow while DS2 has literally 50-100 words by age 2.

[olive]

L woke up one day and just started really talking so much! It was overnight!

[dawnfire]

walterjenne, that new doctor doesn't sound great. Has he had any other delays to cause concern? That's mainly why EI has been involved with us, and even with that we didn't get a speech referral till very recently (and they can't fit the evaluation in till August 2016.)

[walterjenne]

Apr 7, 2016 11:55:47 GMT -5 dawnfire said:

walterjenne, that new doctor doesn't sound great. Has he had any other delays to cause concern? That's mainly why EI has been involved with us, and even with that we didn't get a speech referral till very recently (and they can't fit the evaluation in till August 2016.)

Nope, hes been right ahead or average for everything else, that's why the previous dr wasn't concered. Plus he's a boy, with me all the time so I know what he wants, and he works hard to master other skills. His old dr said it's typical and since he's able to follow directions which means he understands language and doesn't have a hearing problem, we shouldn't worry yet.

To add insult to injury to new dr told me I need to get him into a play group. Ummm...Thanks lady for making me feel even worse for not knowing anyone in our new area, and I have joined a mops groups so he's around kids his age every 2 weeks. Not the best self esteem boost for a newly pregnant lady still adjusting to a move.

[jnnfrrose6]

walterjenne time to find a new doctor!

[walterjenne]

[/quote]Yeah. I'd tell her where to shove her unwanted non medical advice...[/quote]

Yep the next time I have to make a well visit I will be requesting someone else...or switching offices. She also didn't seem very personable or interactive.

Hello, you're a pediatrician, maybe you should get to know the kids you care for a little bit on their first visit and not sit behind a computer.

[mamanorris]

@walterjeene that doctor like like an ass. Ds1 was really behind until his 3rd birthday and then overnight he caught up. Ds2 is speaking in 3 word sentences. Each child is different. You are doing wonderful, don't stress.

[lea]

My toddler was doing some epic toddlering today. I did give time out a try but he doesn't get it.

He did something to DS1 while I was cooking dinner and so DS1 closed him in the living room closet "for timeout." I reminded him that he's not to take disciplining his brother into his own hands but when I went back in the kitchen I laughed and then was jealous because his method worked better than anything else I'd done all day.

[dawnfire]

So is it weird that the other day at DC another toddler bit E on the hand and I was secretly relieved when the teacher said "Yeah, that child is a biter." I was thinking "I am not alone!" (For the record, E was okay.)

[rlb]

I had to revisit this thread, because I need a WWJ14D. I feel like since V was sick last week, she's had a 180 personality change. She was laid-back (for the most part), would play on her own and wasn't clingy. Now I feel like I'm on eggshells with her, and anything and everything sets her off. She will cry-whine for an annoyingly long time, yell "no" when we give her something and have epic meltdowns. I want my sweet baby back - lol..

I feel like now is where she is testing us and pushing boundries, so I want to be firm with her and tell her she is not behaving acceptably. If she is whine-crying, she needs to use her words (which are mostly in the gibberish category, too, but she has the basics down). I am trying to remove her from situations but she continues to tantrum/cry.

Do I just keep on-keeping on and she'll snap out of it? And I think I'm going to have to have a conversation with MIL/DH - MIL says she will not just let her cry, so she coddles her, and to me if there's not a clear issue and I think she's just being bratty, she can't validate that behavior (same for DH).

Am I being too bitchy/strict?

My FTM stripes are showing again!!

[liziz]

Apr 15, 2016 16:06:36 GMT -5 rlb said:

I had to revisit this thread, because I need a WWJ14D. I feel like since V was sick last week, she's had a 180 personality change. She was laid-back (for the most part), would play on her own and wasn't clingy. Now I feel like I'm on eggshells with her, and anything and everything sets her off. She will cry-whine for an annoyingly long time, yell "no" when we give her something and have epic meltdowns. I want my sweet baby back - lol..

I feel like now is where she is testing us and pushing boundries, so I want to be firm with her and tell her she is not behaving acceptably. If she is whine-crying, she needs to use her words (which are mostly in the gibberish category, too, but she has the basics down). I am trying to remove her from situations but she continues to tantrum/cry.

Do I just keep on-keeping on and she'll snap out of it? And I think I'm going to have to have a conversation with MIL/DH - MIL says she will not just let her cry, so she coddles her, and to me if there's not a clear issue and I think she's just being bratty, she can't validate that behavior (same for DH).

Am I being too bitchy/strict?

My FTM stripes are showing again!!

Nope, you're being a good mom. They thrive on having boundaries set for them, so hold firm.

[honeybee434]

I don't know how to control my toddler anymore. She throws tantrums whenever she doesn't get her way and won't stop. Like, will physically thrash around to where it's hard to even hold her to control her. I tell her no and she either doesn't Listen or will laugh at me. Not lairenjnf comes during the tantrums. Laughing comes when she's just doing what I don't want her to do and isn't tantrum throwing. What the heck am I supposed to do about this? I feel like a horrible parent. I don't want to swat her on the butt, and I know they're young for time out. I don't think she would stay in time out anyway. I feel like somehow her acting this way is my fault, but I don't know how I did it.

She's great at daycare, so it's just wirh DH and I that she isn't great.

[jnnfrrose6]

Yesterday morning I was getting all attitude from DD. I wasn't having it. I was trying to get everyone and everything out the door and it was already after 6:30. I told her "fine, stay here" and left her on the front porch (I was going to let her do her thing while I got DS loaded up and then come back for her). She then cried, pushed the screen door open to follow me and thanks to gravity did a somersault down the first step. She's got a lovely scrape next to her eye, but she also started acting better. Sometimes they have to learn the hard way.

[olive]

Apr 15, 2016 18:41:29 GMT -5 honeybee434 said:

I don't know how to control my toddler anymore. She throws tantrums whenever she doesn't get her way and won't stop. Like, will physically thrash around to where it's hard to even hold her to control her. I tell her no and she either doesn't Listen or will laugh at me. Not lairenjnf comes during the tantrums. Laughing comes when she's just doing what I don't want her to do and isn't tantrum throwing. What the heck am I supposed to do about this? I feel like a horrible parent. I don't want to swat her on the butt, and I know they're young for time out. I don't think she would stay in time out anyway. I feel like somehow her acting this way is my fault, but I don't know how I did it.

She's great at daycare, so it's just wirh DH and I that she isn't great.

Have you tried to just completely ignore her? I'm talking like not even making eye contact with her while she is throwing a fit. I try to never give in because they think they can get away with it next time. Sometimes it lasts 30 minutes but eventually he stops. Sometimes it takes a few minutes in the crib for L to settle if he's extremely out of control. It's stressful when they scream and leaving him in a safe spot for a few minutes allows me to calm down too.

[honeybee434]

olive I may have to try that. I can't do it out, but maybe if I start doing that at home she will get the picture and it will make thinge better when we aren't at home?

[isolemnlyswear]

Apr 15, 2016 21:05:04 GMT -5 olive said:

Apr 15, 2016 18:41:29 GMT -5 honeybee434 said:

I don't know how to control my toddler anymore. She throws tantrums whenever she doesn't get her way and won't stop. Like, will physically thrash around to where it's hard to even hold her to control her. I tell her no and she either doesn't Listen or will laugh at me. Not lairenjnf comes during the tantrums. Laughing comes when she's just doing what I don't want her to do and isn't tantrum throwing. What the heck am I supposed to do about this? I feel like a horrible parent. I don't want to swat her on the butt, and I know they're young for time out. I don't think she would stay in time out anyway. I feel like somehow her acting this way is my fault, but I don't know how I did it.

She's great at daycare, so it's just wirh DH and I that she isn't great.

Have you tried to just completely ignore her? I'm talking like not even making eye contact with her while she is throwing a fit. I try to never give in because they think they can get away with it next time. Sometimes it lasts 30 minutes but eventually he stops. Sometimes it takes a few minutes in the crib for L to settle if he's extremely out of control. It's stressful when they scream and leaving him in a safe spot for a few minutes allows me to calm down too.

This. I put C in her crib if I think she's so out of control she'll hurt herself. Otherwise I just let her scream and carry on. She'll come to me once it's all said and done. We haven't had any out in public yet (thank goodness) but at least 4 or 5 a day at home for sure.

[jnnfrrose6]

olive, we do that too. DS is old enough that I can tell him to go to his room until he's calmed down and ready to be with the family. DD I say something similar but she's not at the point that I can just send her to her room to settle, so I let her do her thing where she is.

[walterjenne]

When P is having a melt down and I don't want to listen too it or he's in the way of me getting something done, I pick him up and set him in his room and leave the door cracked. I don't talk to him or react in any real way, just move him. It usually only takes a few minutes to realize I don't care and I don't have to listen to his screaming.

[rlb]

Thanks for the feedback, ladies. The weekend ended with probably about half of the meltdowns, so I'll take that improvement!!