So many hugs to you Rama . The what if's and what should be's are so hard. I sometimes don't want to ignore them because I don't want to pretend they didn't exist.
Yes. This. So bittersweet, but better to recognize it than have it disappear I feel like. ((hugs)) Rama.
I have the printout from my ultrasound at 6.5w. I don't know what to do with it. I considered throwing it away so it'd be less painful, but it's the only tangible piece I have of our peanut.
What do the ladies here do with that sorta stuff? Do you have a memory box? Or something to memorialize your LO?
I never got anything like this, but I feel like I'd keep it. I wouldn't want to forget ever. I think maybe a shadow box or something similar would be a lovely tribute, but only if you could stand to look at it.
I'm so sorry ellabee. By far the hardest thing about this TTTC/loss journey for me is that it's robbed me of my ability to be purely happy for others. I don't have any advice but I want to say that I get it and it's ok. Hopefully there are better days around the corner. You are always welcome to PM if you want to talk or vent. This is hard stuff. Sending (((hugs)))
I'm so sorry for your loss pibblemom. FWIW, I called the RE when I hit 6 months (I'm AMA) and it took two months to get an appointment. So I'm glad I pulled the trigger early. I know it can be overwhelming to think about testing/treatment, but I've had a good experience with my RE so far.
(((Hugs))) hydrangea1019. I'm so sorry that church was difficult for you yesterday.
Sending hugs icedtea. I'm sorry your cycle hasn't regulated. That must be very frustrating.
moshimoshi - I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a meltdown over a dress this weekend too. I was co-hosting a baby shower and I had picked the dress thinking I'd have a little bump. Cue the tears when I went to get ready. So I get it. It's amazing how the little things can hit you in the hardest ways. (((Hugs)))
legalbeagle - that's a lot of friends! Of my four closest friends, two are pregnant (one due the same week as I should have been), one is adopting and one just started TTC. It's hard to have constant IRL reminders of what you don't have. Sending ((hugs))
I'm so sorry for your loss ladytiffany24. The biggest (((hugs))) to you.
I'm hope your RE appointment goes well doodler. (((Hugs))) for the stress over your event on Wednesday. I'm honestly not sure if I could do it. I hope it is as easy as possible for you.
peaseblossom55 - that's a sweet story. I have all the things crossed for you this cycle.
(((pinkcat))) I'm so sorry for CD1 and the year mark.
Rama - I used to watch the announcement videos on YouTube all the time and cry happy tears. I still watch them occasionally but now the tears aren't happy. I don't know why I do that to myself. And so many ((hugs)) for the constant reminders. It's really hard to want to remember and want to forget all at the same time.
How are you doing? Ok today. I was a hormonal mess this weekend but better now.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTA
Diagnosis (if applicable): I never know what to put here! We've finished all our testing with the RE (all normal except slightly low morph for DH but high counts/movement) but we did get pregnant prior to treatment. I'm always hesitant to put unexplained IF because we haven't actually reached the treatment phase. Sorry for the novel!
Updates/questions: It's CD 3! AF showed up exactly 30 days after my D&C. RE appointment one week from today to decide how to proceed.
Debbie downer (a place to vent): I had several days of spotting prior to AF and I completely spiraled about possibly having a problem like scarring from the procedure. Like full blown panic attack. It made me realize that I'm not ready to try again this month no matter what the RE says. So we're going to TTA this month and start after my next AF.
QOTW: What color is your bedroom painted? Do you like it? Do you wish it was something different, if so what would you change it to? It's beige with a rose colored accent wall. I hate it. A lot. I want to change it but haven't been able to decide on a new color.
YAY for AF caer! Small steps forward. I'm sorry the spotting threw you for a loop. The physical stuff is such a mental trip... It's good that you're able to recognize that TTA for a cycle is what'll be best for you.
Post by daystardreams on Apr 5, 2016 12:30:45 GMT -5
ellabee That is so rough. I have a hard time with friends' pregnancies and having it be a close family member would be so much worse. I'm sorry it was dropped on you unexpectedly like that. Don't feel like a horrible person!
I have an ultrasound from the third loss. I do have a memory box of sorts with little bits from each of my pregnancies. It also has a few other baby items in it.
pibblemom Welcome though I'm sorry you are here. Seeing an RE is a big step. On the one hand it can seems so intimidating but on the other hand, it really can't hurt to get an opinion from an RE. I met with an RE a few months ago and it was an incredibly helpful meeting. She had a lot of great thoughts and ideas. We ended up deciding we weren't (and may never be) ready to work actively with an RE but I'm really glad we went.
hydrangea1019 I mostly feel like I'm balancing between being ok and breaking down too.
icedtea Welcome, I'm sorry you have to be here and that you are having a rough week.
moshimoshi Welcome to you as well. That is so rough about the bridesmaid dress.
legalbeagle That's a lot of pregnant friends! I don't even have twelve friends so I guess I'm taking your H's approach!
doodler GL at your RE appointment! I really hope it goes well.
peaseblossom55 I've got all the things crossed for you this cycle. I'm so hopeful that this IUI is just want you need. I'm glad that you had some happy moments this week even though there were some rough too.
pinkcat I'm sorry. The year mark was really tough for me too.
Rama I'm sorry about the wacky cycle. I love announcement videos too though they are so bittersweet these days.
caer I hope your RE appointment goes well and hopefully helps reassure you when you are ready to TTC again.
Post by daystardreams on Apr 5, 2016 12:37:47 GMT -5
How are you doing?: I'm doing pretty good actually.
Status: TTC/WTO/Cycle #21
Diagnosis: MTHFR, RPL, PCOS
Updates: None today
Debbie Downer: Sunday was two years since my first D&C. I'm handling it pretty well. I just can't believe it's been two years.
QOTW: Our bedroom is painted white. Actually our whole house is painted white. We moved in about six months ago. I know we should paint but I'm so indecisive! I'm liking the idea of gray though.
ellabee , For "bean" my chemical I have no evidence other than the positive pee stick pictures, and you can bet I saved those pictures.
For Anne.liese, I have saved everything, we created a scrapbook for her, it includes ultrasound photos, bump pictures and condolence cards we got. She has a whole memory box and area in our bedroom too, it has a journal we keep from her, her memorial candle, dried flowers from the boquets we got after I left the hospital. Her ashes are there too and other accumulated things. I bought her a small teddy bear for V-day my dad got her a an Easter bunny stuffed animal for Easter.
My eyes just watered up thinking of everything you've been through. I'm so very sorry you've had to go through this.
ellabee , For "bean" my chemical I have no evidence other than the positive pee stick pictures, and you can bet I saved those pictures.
For Anne.liese, I have saved everything, we created a scrapbook for her, it includes ultrasound photos, bump pictures and condolence cards we got. She has a whole memory box and area in our bedroom too, it has a journal we keep from her, her memorial candle, dried flowers from the boquets we got after I left the hospital. Her ashes are there too and other accumulated things. I bought her a small teddy bear for V-day my dad got her a an Easter bunny stuffed animal for Easter.
My eyes just watered up thinking of everything you've been through. I'm so very sorry you've had to go through this.
Post by hydrangea1019 on Apr 5, 2016 14:48:31 GMT -5
I am so irritated right now. Today was my appointment with my gyn in order to discuss this possible polyp my RE found during the HSG. Today's appointment was already my 2nd appt, as the first one was rescheduled.
As I am on the highway headed to the doctor (Had to take leave from work), the office supervisor calls me to reschedule. I am so annoyed. I finally told her I just need the doctor to answer a question and she needs to call me back. We'll see if that happens. I just need to know if she CAN do it, and then I'll gladly pay for a consult visit to discuss my file. But if she can tell me NO she's not willing to do it, then I won't have to pay for the consult.
hydrangea1019, that is aggravating. I mean, I know OBs have things come up since babies don't follow any kind of a schedule, but they should have at least had more notice than when you're already on your way. I hope the dr calls you back at least.
ellabee ((hugs)) I'm so so sorry. I don't know how you held it together at the family gathering. So many hugs. You're allowed to feel jealous and sad - it's okay. Feel free to vent anytime, I don't think anyone would care if you made a ttcal post early or even bringing it up in the regular forum. We're always here to lend support.
hydrangea1019 Sorry about all the feels, but those chocolate chip pancakes with bacon sound ah-mazing. Also sorry about the reschedule. I'd be so pissed if I had to arrange time from work and have a last-minute call like that...
moshimoshi I would have cried about the dress too. The week after I found out about my loss I received new cute maternity leggings in the mail. It fucking sucks.
ladytiffany24 I'm sorry for your loss, hope this forum/ttcal thread can help you as you continue on.
doodler If you need to bail on that sale do it! We'll be here to distract you either way I'm so sorry. I know how that pendulum goes. There were times I was surrounded by babies and I was totally fine and then one totally random thing sets me off. Maybe knowing what to expect will help you get through it and find some good stuff for your LO!
peaseblossom55 What a thoughtful gift and what a wonderful supportive nurse you have I'm sorry for you and your H and the roller coaster of emotions. Hang in there
legalbeagle I lol'ed at your H's suggestion of having fewer friends. It does seem like everyone and their sister is pregnant right now...
Rama I had week updates in my google calendar. I get the conflict of emotions in removing the notifications/reminders. Do what feels right.
caer good for you to make that decision to tta - it's hard to do when you want to be pregnant so bad. We reached a point where we could have ttc (well, still technically against doctor's orders but...long story) and I opted not to based on emotional reasons.
daystardreams glad you got through the D&C date alright. Mine is coming up next weekend and I feel like it's going to be the last..."anniversary" (that sounds weird, but don't know how else to say it). I've gotten through the due date and the bfp anniversary. Right now I'm feeling alright, but who knows.
Post by kayladawn91 on Apr 5, 2016 16:38:03 GMT -5
How are you doing? I've had a bad week. TTA sucks.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTA until my wisdom teeth are out
Diagnosis (if applicable): n/a
Updates/questions: I have my consult with the oral surgeon on Monday and then I'm hoping to schedule the extraction quickly. I was hoping to only TTA for one cycle but it may end up being two cycles.
Debbie downer: In addition to the physical tooth pain (that three doctors haven't been able to help me with) it's been really hard to TTA. I was in tears over how much I wanted a baby on Saturday and I hate avoiding something that I so badly want. After 19 months of wanting a baby, it doesn't feel right to not be trying.
QOTW: Our bedroom is a dark brown. We just painted it in the fall. I really like it.
How are you doing? Doing alright. Feeling a lot of feels for all of you ladies though. Wish I could give you all a hug and chocolate cake
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): NTNP/TTC-ish (ETA: We've been tta so long I accidentally typed that! We are TTC-ISH! Wooo!!)
Diagnosis (if applicable): Had a partial molar pregnancy, so apparently 1/100 chance of that happening again.
Updates/questions: Nothing really
Debbie downer (a place to vent): My 1 year from the D&C is next Saturday. It's been on my mind but more in a reflective way and less of a grieving way I guess? I'm sure I'll have a melt down, ha. Today a 1st grader, out of the fucking blue, interrupted me teaching to say "Hey Mrs.Dub, your baby died?" ...... dude really?! How does a 6-7 year old even remember that a whole year later?! I know he wasn't trying to hurt my feelings. He said it in a "huh...remember that thing happened?" But still. Thanks you little troll.
QOTW: What color is your bedroom painted? Do you like it? Do you wish it was something different, if so what would you change it to? It's a cream color - the color it was when we bought the house. We have a pretty small room so I don't mind it. I painted our computer room and the nursery/spare bedroom a minty light blue and LOVE it. It feels clean and bright and somehow warm.
kayladawn91 I'm so sorry, tta sucks. I resented it so much. I can't believe how long you are having to wait to get those wisdom teeth out. UGH. I'm seriously frustrated for you. Hope that after this consult they will get you in ASAP.
Post by kayladawn91 on Apr 5, 2016 18:51:44 GMT -5
It's even more awesome that the wisdom teeth on the other side of my mouth started hurting today too. I believe this office will only do one side at a time. So I guess it looks like I'll need two appointments to get them all out before I TTC again. I thought the other side would be okay if I had to wait but I guess not.
It's even more awesome that the wisdom teeth on the other side of my mouth started hurting today too. I believe this office will only do one side at a time. So I guess it looks like I'll need two appointments to get them all out before I TTC again. I thought the other side would be okay if I had to wait but I guess not.
Maybe your situation is different, but I had all 4 of mine removed in the same session. But if yours are really impacted and you're having infections I guess I could understand why they would only do one side at a time.
It's even more awesome that the wisdom teeth on the other side of my mouth started hurting today too. I believe this office will only do one side at a time. So I guess it looks like I'll need two appointments to get them all out before I TTC again. I thought the other side would be okay if I had to wait but I guess not.
Maybe your situation is different, but I had all 4 of mine removed in the same session. But if yours are really impacted and you're having infections I guess I could understand why they would only do one side at a time.
I went in for a consult about a year ago and I asked if he could do them all at once and he said "absolutely not". Okay then doc...
kayladawn91, is it too late for a 2nd opinion? I've never heard of regular extractions not being able to be done in one sitting. I had all 4 of mine out together, and my FIL is an oral surgeon. His office is usually able to schedule from consult to extractions very quickly and timely.
kayladawn91, is it too late for a 2nd opinion? I've never heard of regular extractions not being able to be done in one sitting. I had all 4 of mine out together, and my FIL is an oral surgeon. His office is usually able to schedule from consult to extractions very quickly and timely.
Well I don't remember which doctor within this practice that was with. Hopefully my consult on Monday is with a different one and he'll offer to take them all out at once. I think the original doctor said it would be "too traumatic" and "cause too much stress". I would much rather have them all done at once because I also feel like if I get one side done and it hurts, I'll never want to go back for the other side. I have a very low pain tolerance.
kayladawn91 , is it too late for a 2nd opinion? I've never heard of regular extractions not being able to be done in one sitting. I had all 4 of mine out together, and my FIL is an oral surgeon. His office is usually able to schedule from consult to extractions very quickly and timely.
Well I don't remember which doctor within this practice that was with. Hopefully my consult on Monday is with a different one and he'll offer to take them all out at once. I think the original doctor said it would be "too traumatic" and "cause too much stress". I would much rather have them all done at once because I also feel like if I get one side done and it hurts, I'll never want to go back for the other side. I have a very low pain tolerance.
I would side eye the shit out of any dr that decides your own tolerance to trauma for you. If there is no specific complication and it's reasonably routine, yes, it will hurt, but it's a whole lot easier to recover from one painful surgery than two. It's also significantly cheaper, since one anesthesia, one office visit, etc.
Note: I am not a dr, I've just had the surgery and married into a family of oral surgeons.
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