Post by babycowbell on Apr 13, 2016 9:55:29 GMT -5
Since it's a little quiet around here and I'm curious, who have you guys been letting in on your secret so far? Do you have a plan for telling friends, family, work, social media? Anyone totally random that you have told already, like the guy at the car dealership, or your barista, or person who does your nails?
After almost three years of TTC, IVF #1 = Menopur + Follistim + other stuff. Retrieved 14, 12 mature, 7 fertilized, only 1 (6AA) made it to day 5 blast. BFP! DD born 12-10-2016
Post by babycowbell on Apr 13, 2016 10:02:40 GMT -5
We are pregnant through IVF and had a lot of people who knew we were doing it, so we had like 8 people to tell the same day we found out. It felt weird telling so early but it also seemed not very nice to let other people go through the emotional roller coaster of IVF with us, but then not tell them the results right away when they were anxiously awaiting. So we've told all our parents, like four different friends and their spouses, randomly my husband told his two mentor type people at work, so that's a little weird but whatever. We were looking at cars this weekend, and almost told the car dealership guy, but managed to ask all our questions without needing to share that piece.
We may tell our siblings after the first ultrasound, but I can't decide. I have so little faith in my one sister to keep it a secret. I can just see her tagging me on Facebook in some inspirational mothering quote and ruining it. I'm not sure when I'll tell work but maybe 12 weeks or 15 weeks...who knows.
Last Edit: Apr 13, 2016 10:03:34 GMT -5 by babycowbell
After almost three years of TTC, IVF #1 = Menopur + Follistim + other stuff. Retrieved 14, 12 mature, 7 fertilized, only 1 (6AA) made it to day 5 blast. BFP! DD born 12-10-2016
Everyone in my life knows about my loss in December and I was pretty open about our struggles with IF. So they are all sort of waiting around for an announcement.
But I've only confirmed anything to my sisters (2). All my friends/family suspect I'm pregnant because I haven't been drinking, or trying to hide the fact that I'm not drinking. I think we will tell our parents on mother's day and will tell more people around Memorial Day, we host a big party and I'll be 12w5d. This is all so freaking hopeful.
I' not sure how I feel about a FB announcement. I'm a bigger gal and I have a feeling I'll be looking like a whale and won't have a cute baby bump to show off.
Post by legalbeagle on Apr 13, 2016 10:33:12 GMT -5
So far (since yesterday) just my husband and my best friend from forever. I'm visiting her in two weeks and (don't laugh) was worried about traveling to New Orleans with Zika so I wanted to chat it out with her. I think we're still going to go and just be vigilant about mosquitos.
I barely told anyone, maybe six people?, with my last pregnancy and then I had the miscarriage and then EVERYONE(I mean, including my bosses since I tried to go to work afterward and instead had a huge breakdown) knew (except for my parents who still don't know). I'd like to tell friends after my eight week because they've been so supportive and tell my parents/family/work after the end of first trimester once we get all of our testing results back.
No Facebook for me, but I don't even post pics of my current kid on there so I think everyone just deals with social media differently. I post TONS of pictures of him to Instagram but that's a smaller universe of people.
Edited to add: my barre studio will know in about a week. They knew about pregnancy/miscarriage and everyone has been so sweet. I'm hoping to exercise (reasonably) and stay healthy this pregnancy because I certainly did not do that when pregnant with my son.
Post by winewinebustarhyme on Apr 13, 2016 10:46:11 GMT -5
This is a great question and I'm always interested to see how differently people are about this.
We told our parents and our best friends. My boss suspected and flat out asked so he knows too (a perk of working for super small company with only 3 people - he saw me leaving for betas every other day and noticed i wasn't having my 2 cups of coffee). I do think most of my family is suspicious - we've had a lot of family events this past week and I didn't drink at any. Nobody questioned it - which is soooo unlike them. They totally know don't they...
I was hesitant to tell anyone this time since we had our loss. But, I have to keep telling myself that sharing exciting news isn't going to jinx anything. We will tell the rest of the family and our friends once we get into the second trimester.
I didn't share my pregnancy with DS until like...25 weeks on facebook (and only because MH shared on his page after having too many beers and getting overly emotional . I haven't really thought about sharing it this time...but it will definitely be after the A/S again if I do. Except on instagram, I put everything on there!
This is a great question! I shared the news with my cousin, and 3 close friends. So random, but DH had told his CDL instructor. He happened to have his test the day that we had found out... the guy asked him if we only had one child (man, I hate that question... but, he saw her and I in the car) and DH said we just found out we were expecting again. Ha! And he says I tell everyone.
With our loss in 2014, we had pretty much told everyone... it was very, very hard to "un-tell" the world, so with DD we had only told close friends until after our 20 week u/s.
I haven't told anyone except internet strangers yet. You ladies, and my friends on June15.
Last time we thought I was miscarrying at five weeks so we told a few close friends who had been really supportive during our (comparatively brief, although it certainly didn't feel it) two years of infertility. After the 12 week scan we told the whole world, starting with our families.
This time feels so different, and L is still so young. I'm expecting to have a scan at my first appointment, whenever that is - hopefully next Tuesday, I hope I won't have to wait another week! After that we may tell a few friends, but again, for most people we'll wait till after the twelve week scan. We'll probably wait a few weeks longer this time, at least until after L's birthday.
My only concern is that we're going away for a long weekend with my parents the weekend after next. They will notice if I don't have a drink. But I really don't want to tell anyone until I've had a scan because it doesn't feel real till then. One of the bonuses of being high risk is not having to wait till twelve weeks for a scan!
Post by mrsp121308 on Apr 13, 2016 12:27:23 GMT -5
I told my July 11 BMB, my best friend from childhood, my parents, my aunt, DH's mom, and DH told a few of his firefighter friends and I've told a few of those friends' wives. We are terrible at keeping the secret. We have not told the majority of our family or our girls.
Not sure when we will tell everyone. We have plans to get pics of the girls doing a Big Sister Training Camp, but that's not until mid-May. So maybe tell the world then. We still are trying to decide when to tell the girls. I want to tell them now, but I know they'll tell everyone so we need to be ready for that.
Great question! I've only told 3 people- my department head, principal and the lady in the classroom next to mine. I would haven't told anyone yet, but thanks to this lovely morning sickness and not being able to leave my students alone I needed to share. We are still contemplating when to tell our family. I would love to tell our moms on mothers day, but I don't think my parents would be able to keep it a secret. We will likely wait until Memorial day to let people know now. After takong almost two years to get here I don't want to back track and tell people "just kidding" if we have a loss.
Post by littlelion on Apr 13, 2016 15:16:24 GMT -5
I've only told my 3 sisters. I assume DH has told his entire family. He's also talked to my dad once since he left so I wonder if he knows too already. My husband is the worst at keeping it a secret. And if my dad knows he may tell my brother. By now my family knows not to say anything to extended family. I haven't been quiet about my past losses but still. Other than tcf, I don't have social media. I don't want to tell work until after 1st tri but if my RE insists on seeing me more than once a week I may have to.
Post by mrsp121308 on Apr 13, 2016 21:56:10 GMT -5
So after both girls being assholes all night and dealing with the constant nausea, we decided to tell our girls tonight hoping they'll be a little nicer for me knowing why I'm not feeling good.
So I asked DD1 (6 1/2) if she knew why I didn't feel very good and she said no. So I whispered in her ear it was because there was a baby in my tummy. She was shocked and started crying because she was so happy. Then she just started jumping up and down. (She's crazy emotional so this did not shock me) Then DD2 (4 1/2) asked for me to tell her and she started screaming too. They both are so excited and are already planning out names.
So after both girls being assholes all night and dealing with the constant nausea, we decided to tell our girls tonight hoping they'll be a little nicer for me knowing why I'm not feeling good.
So I asked DD1 (6 1/2) if she knew why I didn't feel very good and she said no. So I whispered in her ear it was because there was a baby in my tummy. She was shocked and started crying because she was so happy. Then she just started jumping up and down. (She's crazy emotional so this did not shock me) Then DD2 (4 1/2) asked for me to tell her and she started screaming too. They both are so excited and are already planning out names.
Post by lastnamewithheld on Apr 14, 2016 10:12:43 GMT -5
I've told a couple people at work since I had to be out/come in late a couple days during IVF, so they knew everything through the whole process anyway. Also, my mom and dad and their spouses. (parents are divorced and remarried.)
My dad went a little crazy and went and told every-goddamned-body on his side of the family after my first positive beta. I just (kindly???) reminded him that it's VERY early so he better be prepared to untell those people should something terrible happen.
ETA: I might announce on FB after first tri. IDK yet. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I might actually get to have a baby,
IVF+ICSI March 2016 (6R/5M/5F - 3 embryos on ice) 4/7/16: first ever BFP! EDD: 12/17/16 DS Arrived via C-Section 12/19/16! FET #1 June 2019 - 1 embryo didn't survive thaw & the one that did didn't stick around. BFN FET #2 September 2019 - last embryo didn't survive thaw.
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