*PgAL/PAIF check in 4/26*

[sophiegrace]

Hi! Crazy work schedule, sorry it's late getting up today.


Although we are a smaller group it seems as though we have an unfair amount of us who have not has an easy journey. This weekly thread is to get out your thoughts and release your fears in a safe area. Trigger warnings are not necessary.

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If you are new to this thread and feel comfortable sharing, please include a brief history that the group can reference as we get to know each other.



Please tag me if you want to be added to the check in.



How far along are you?



How are you doing physically?

Mentally?



Any appointments this week?



Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week?



QOTW: My creativity is lacking today. So what's for dinner tonight?



tgrimes1980 - PgAl, MMC 10 wks

peanutmuse – PgAL/PAIF, m/c 1/13, 6/13, 9/15, IUI for DS1, TTC 23 cycles for this pg

sophiegrace - PgAl, loss at 25 wks

legitlizard - PgAL, early loss, Crohn's

robinbird - PgAl, MMC 13 wks

danib - PgAL/PAIF, loss at 5.5 wks

shedreamsincolor – PgAL, loss at 16 wks

kleigh – PgAl/PAIF, CP

goldenlove3 – PgAL/PAIF, TTC 31 cycles, one ectopic, Pg after IVF FET #1

calindi – PAIF, 22 cycles + Follistim IUI #3 for TTC #1, 11 cycles + Follistim TI for TTC #2

hangry – PgAL, loss at 8 wks

artmusiclife – PgAL/PAIF – TTC since S12, early loss N12, 5 IUIs, IFV w/ICSI &PGS, F16 FET resulting in this BFP

@sarahwithanh – PgAL/PAIF - TTC Aug14, MMC 12

opheliainwaders – PgAL – 2 losses both around 12 weeks

vinolove - PgAL, loss at 6 weeks

mommytoava - PgAL, Ava born 12/2010 gained her wings 2014

[peanutmuse]

How far along are you? 10w5d

How are you doing physically? Still struggling through being pregnant and recovering from an 8 inch incision in my lower abdomen, lol. So... yeah, a bit rough.

Mentally? It is going to be a struggle for a while. I think I need to see a counselor who deals with people with medical trauma.

Any appointments this week? Post-surgery follow up tomorrow. NT scan and fetal DNA blood work next Monday, 12 week appt next Tues.


Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week? HAPPY NATIONAL INFERTILITY AWARENESS WEEK

QOTW: No idea. Probably leftover taco soup that was given to us over the weekend.

[sophiegrace]

Hey lovely ladies!

peanutmuse I think of you often. I hope you can find a counselor that's a right fit for you. The thought of getting one is always on my mind, which probably means I should be talking to someone. Even if it's just a front/protective mechanism you are doing awesome with this. Please know that we are here (privately or publicly) to listen if you're ever having a shitty day.

So many hugs vinolove and tgrimes1980! This point in pregnancy is just zero fun. I feel like everyone either feels like crap or they feel fine which makes the worry set in. I'm still nauseous everyday, but feeling better day by day. Instead of rejoicing like i should be, the little seed of worry gets planted and grows quickly out of control. Time for the babe to get a bit bigger so I can feel some kicks!

[sophiegrace]

My Facebook has been littered with shares danib and I must say that it's been beautiful. Some of the stories brought me to tears, even the ones of friends that I've been well aware of for years. The outpouring of support and love that I've read about in the past few days has been beautiful. And I must say, during my own loss even though I did not suffer through IF to get pregnant, the amazing ladies I know who have gone or are going through IF were by far the most empathetic and wonderful people for me to lean on. It seems like friends and family just didn't get how to react, yet some people who I haven't seen or spoken to in years reached out to me in the most touching ways. I think it's obvious on these boards as well. Instead of letting the anger and bitterness out, everyone who I've come across has what seems like the most beautiful souls.

[sophiegrace]

How far along are you?
12 weeks

How are you doing physically? Hungover feeling, so so exhausted!

Mentally? I seem to have my rough times when I'm alone and finally standing still for the day. All i do is rush around thinking of patient after patient all day long, but by the end of the day the worry catches up to me. I keep getting plagued by the conflicting guilt trips of thinking I should have a four to five month old right now and then feeling bad because it's diminishing the happiness for this very much wanted pregnancy. Oof.

Any appts this week?
I had my 12 wk OB appt today. Went great, immediately found heartbeat of 158 which was such a relief. MFM appt tomorrow. It's a three hour trip to get there so I'm glad my OB appointment was today and went well. I won't have quite as much anxiety on the ride there now.

Q/C/T?
Not that I can think of

QOTW: no idea! I'm hoping someone else's answers inspire me!

[peanutmuse]

Apr 26, 2016 14:08:34 GMT -5 danib said:

Did anyone share anything on FB about National Infertility Week?

Yes. I plan to share something every day.

[shedreamsincolor]

How far along are you? 10w5d

How are you doing physically? OK. Nausea is way worse this week and my boobs are noticeably bigger (I'm a small A, it doesn't take much!). Also kind of headachy this week which I feel like I remember having with DS.

Mentally? I go in streaks. Hitting 10 weeks mentally was big for me. I think getting to 12 will be another milestone. I'm going to be a mess from 12 weeks to loss milestone at 16, so trying to prepare for that.

Any appointments this week? Nope- 3 more weeks.


Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week? My former due date is this coming Friday the 29th. I am so anxious and sad about this. Just kind of teary and generally down, then feeling guilty because I have another LO on the way and I should be thankful. It's a mind fuck. Any positive vibes you can send that day would be hugely appreciated.

QOTW: We had frozen pizza. I have literally no desire to cook right now.

[shedreamsincolor]

peanutmuse and sophiegrace - I see a psychologist who specializes in infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth and infant loss. Seeing someone that specializes in the area (compared to my general counselor, who I love) has been noticeably different. Lots of tools/techniques to help get through the day to day. Things that I don't always remember to use in the moment but helpful certainly to keep things from really spiraling.

[mommytoava]

How far along are you? I'm 8w1d



How are you doing physically? Just really tired and have some nausea but no morning sickness yet. My breasts are also really sore.

Mentally? Just feeling sad. I was thinking this weekend how my daughter should be graduating preschool next month which brought on a range of emotions.



Any appointments this week? None, next appointment is 5/9



Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week? I haven't told work yet, I'm waiting to get through 1st tri, hoping to wait until 15 weeks to say anything.



QOTW: My creativity is lacking today. So what's for dinner tonight? If I have the energy to cook I'm making Asiago Chicken Pasta from Pinterest

[peanutmuse]

Apr 26, 2016 18:47:58 GMT -5 shedreamsincolor said:

peanutmuse and sophiegrace - I see a psychologist who specializes in infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth and infant loss. Seeing someone that specializes in the area (compared to my general counselor, who I love) has been noticeably different. Lots of tools/techniques to help get through the day to day. Things that I don't always remember to use in the moment but helpful certainly to keep things from really spiraling.

I actually think I'm ok on the IF/loss side of things. It's the medical trauma from last week that I am worried about. But I do agree, seeing someone who specializes in your specific needs is important.

[hangry]

How far along are you? 12w2d

How are you doing physically? So much better. Still wicked tired, but I just give myself a reeeeeally early bedtime.

Mentally? I thought I would have immediate relief after my US yesterday. And while I did feel good,I'm now stressing while waiting for the results and thinking I won't know anything until I start feeling movements. But overall, getting more and more excited.

Any appointments this week? Yesterday, NT scan. Baby looked good, HR of 157. As I said, just waiting for actual results or risk factors.

Any questions, comments, or topics you would like to discuss this week? In terms of the question about infertility awareness week, I actually haven't seen anything on Facebook. I also haven't posted anything. I may mention something after his annoucement but felt a little weird saying simething just before announcing a pregnancy when now people know.


QOTW: My creativity is lacking today. So what's for dinner tonight? Had leftover chili last night and planning in fajitas tonight.

[kleigh]

How far along are you? 11 Weeks 2 Days

How are you doing physically? Less bloated which is bittersweet because I'm grateful but it also makes me nervous. Also started getting headaches.

Mentally? I still find myself not being able to grasp this, worry creeps up that my body will fail me like it did in getting pregnant. Someone on the Getting Knocked Up grad thread shared this great article and I'll share it here too, it was good for me to read though.

www.shadygrovefertility.com/emotional-support-articles/pregnancy-after-infertility-dilemmas-deliberate-pregnancy

Any appts this week? After Sunday's little fall, the OB had me in Monday and everything still looked great :-). They are both moving around which he insists indicates their hearts are beating, but not getting to hear the heartbeat like I did several times at my RE is scary. Does he have to do something additional to pick up the heartbeats? OB is doing abdominal U/S vs transvaginal at RE. NT scan is Monday.

Any questions/comments/topics you'd like to discuss?
I had a mini cry fest yesterday looking through NIAW posts, specifically searched for the tag. I was a little saddened to see only one girl among my social media friends post something. While I'm grateful that it hopefully means no one else is struggling, I think it more indicates the view of the area we live in - where no one is as genuine/open/real. It broke my heart and made me angry in ways, I wanted to scream at the past four years of my life and give it the middle finger, I feel soooo lucky and yet I know here's still so many struggling and that just hurts still.

QOTW: What's for dinner? Hmmmm probably sweet potato and grilled chicken!

[artmusiclife]

Apr 27, 2016 10:42:35 GMT -5 kleigh said:

Any questions/comments/topics you'd like to discuss?
I had a mini cry fest yesterday looking through NIAW posts, specifically searched for the tag. I was a little saddened to see only one girl among my social media friends post something. While I'm grateful that it hopefully means no one else is struggling, I think it more indicates the view of the area we live in - where no one is as genuine/open/real. It broke my heart and made me angry in ways, I wanted to scream at the past four years of my life and give it the middle finger, I feel soooo lucky and yet I know here's still so many struggling and that just hurts still.

I'm so with you.  I think that all parts of the world are blissfully ignorant of just how difficult IF really is.  It is such a private topic that you have no idea if others around you are suffering.  If I announce that I'm pregnant on FB I will fill people in on how long it took.  I don't want to be another upsetting pregnancy post for a suffering woman.  Those were so hard on me.

I still feel so hurt by IF.  Just today I was imagining my pregnant co-worker's blissful ignorance of IF.  She had her first pregnancy back in 2012 when I miscarried.  I told her I miscarried back then, and she has never once asked me how I was doing.  

[shedreamsincolor]

TW- if you are having a difficult day maybe skip this or come back at a different time. This is definitely a tear jerker video.

I posted this on my personal FB page today in honor of my son's due date. If you aren't hugely religious, just skip the first minute of the video. One of my aunts sent this to me shortly after my loss and it continues to give me comfort even now.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=jQJX4QWO74I