I went to dinner with my pregnant friend the other night and she brought up who she picked as God parents. It hit me that we haven't discussed this at all and it didn't even cross my mind.
Are you going to have God parents?
Are you actually picking people based on the whole spiritual guidance thing, or is it more of an honor thing? Like, "hey you're really important to me, I want you to have this title."
Are God parents supposed to be family members? Or should they be people outside the family since family members will already have titles like aunt, uncle, etc. or does it not matter either way?
We won't do them because we don't go to church. I see it as more of an organized religion designation and no it doesn't have to be a family member at all from what I understand. It is basically someone you want to provide spiritual guidance to your child. I attended a good friend's baby's baptism where they presented the god parents and it was a very sweet ceremony but we just aren't church-going people.
Last Edit: Feb 6, 2015 9:09:39 GMT -5 by katydid2015
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We are having a BOY!
We aren't church going people, But we are selecting guardians for the boys. We are going to ask DH's brother and sister in law if they would care for the boys is something happens to us, and if they accept, we will write it into the will.
So not the same as God parents in the way of spiritual guidance, but in the form of guardianship..
Post by snarkysparklefart on Feb 6, 2015 9:19:47 GMT -5
We are also not a religious family, so in the religious sense, no, our girls don't/ won't have godparents. However, that is what we refer to my H's BF as- He is the person we have written in our will that we'd prefer to care for our daughters if something ever happened to us. I think it's fairly common to call that person a 'godparent' as well (at least, it is here)
We picked them. One pair is family members and the other isn't. We based it on people we wanted to help provide spiritual guidance because it's important to us. It was also kind of an honor thing thing too. We wanted to pick people we were close to and would be there for the kids because they've been there for us.
We are Catholic and are baptizing baby girl asap. My son who is 5, I really dropped the ball and didn't baptize him until November of last year. I don't want to wait that long with this baby. We've been attending church regularly and since we've already taken a baptism class and met with our deacon, our church allows us to baptize any other children born within a year of taking that class and interview without having to do both again. Basically as soon as she's here I can go to them and pick a date for her to be baptized which is awesome.
However, picking godparents is a bit tricky. Our Catholic church requires that the Godparents either be a married couple who was married through the Catholic Church or it can be two individual people but they have to have made their confirmation. I don't personally know many people close to fiancé's and I's age that have made confirmation or have been married through the Catholic Church. For my son we ended up picking his Grandparents from his dad's side for his Godparents and for Baby Girl more than likely hers will be my parents
We just had the god parents talk! MH and I were both raised Roman Catholic but we're pretty blah about the church right now. However, we will be getting the LO baptized so we're going to have god parents (that's the only sacrament though, she can get the rest when she gets older and can choose for herself).
We are doing it as more of an honor thing because I simply can't imagine most children in this day and age actually going to someone for spiritual guidance. Though if she does, more power to her I guess. For our first, we're choosing two of MH's cousins that we're really close to. However, if and when we have another kid we'll probably hit up the close friend market.
I don't think you're putting too much thought into it. I've always considered being a godparent a very special title. And in MH's and my family your godchildren are always a little more ... special? I'm not exactly sure how to phrase it, but you just keep an extra look out for your godchildren than you do for other cousins/nieces/nephews. But that's my family.
We picked our "god parents" but we did a play on it.... All 4 of us are really good friends and we picked according to who we would want to raise our child if anything happened to us. None of us are religious and her "godfather" is actually Jewish so we did some research on the different beliefs in different cultures and when we asked them we picked pieces from here and there that we liked. When we asked we had a box filled with everything a Fairy Godmother would need: crown, sparkles, wand, ect. And our Godfather got a box filled with stuff from the movie: single red rose, toy tommy gun, chopped horse head, ect. We made it more fun than serious but both of them know it's a serious thing.
We picked our baby's godparents, our best friends are a married couple so it works out great. We are all Catholic as well, while we don't frequent church it's still something that's important to us. We are going to ask them after the baby is born. I am the godmother of one of their son's as well.
Like other PPs, we are not churchgoing people and have not gotten DD baptized. We won't be baptizing this LO and instead will be choosing guardians to care for them in the event something happens to DH and myself.
Post by cwbandthenewbie on Feb 6, 2015 9:44:34 GMT -5
We didn't get DS baptized until right before his first birthday, so we didn't discuss it until after he was born. Ultimately, we chose our friends instead of family (our younger brothers aren't married yet and we just thought that would be a lot of pressure on young guys). So we chose a couple who don't have kids but are GREAT with kids and we truly enjoy being around. And to be honest, all they did was come to the baptism. Otherwise, they're around as much as they were before.
Also, we don't consider god parents the ones that will take the kids should we both die. For us, god parents are just a formality for the baptism (and the baptism was my MIL's wish). Once we get our shit together, we will designate who will take care of the kids should we pass away. I'm hoping we choose my brother, but he's going to have to stop dating strippers "putting themselves through nursing school" first. And no, it doesn't bother me that they're strippers. But if they're stripping, their hours may not be conducive to raising children. ;-)
We are getting our LO baptized, but even if we weren't we would still have godparents. It is a normal thing to have a godmother (Nanny) and a godfather (Parrin) where I am from. We picked my brother and my DH's sister. It wasn't really a choice, our families would have been pissed if we would have gone with other people. My mom is who is going in our will to take care of our LOs if anything happens to us.
Post by coozieinmypurse on Feb 6, 2015 10:47:35 GMT -5
We will raise our kids Jewish, so no godparents in the spiritual sense. However, I will share my brother and SIL's experience. I'm to be their kids' legal guardian if the worst happens, but they choose close friends as spiritual godparents (Catholic). Their reasoning was that family members (aunts, uncles, grandparents) already have a special role in their kids' lives. This was a way to get even more people involved. The godparents generally just show up to milestone events and give Christmas and birthday gifts. And they are called Nanny and Parain (Cajun word for godfather).
We are getting our LO baptized, but even if we weren't we would still have godparents. It is a normal thing to have a godmother (Nanny) and a godfather (Parrin) where I am from. We picked my brother and my DH's sister. It wasn't really a choice, our families would have been pissed if we would have gone with other people. My mom is who is going in our will to take care of our LOs if anything happens to us.
I'm Catholic and H isn't, but I've had all the sacraments and we got married in the church. We're not really into church right now, but are picking god parents because we at least want to get LO baptized. Like TheTuna15, that's probably the only sacrament we'll do and LO can choose to continue (or not) once older. We've unofficially picked my youngest sister and BIL and it will be for the baptism and kind of an honor thing...not an "if we die you're responsible for this child" thing.
We've chosen friends who we would like to have guardianship of our son if something happens to us, and we've been using the term God-parents to refer to them. But it's not a religious thing for us, just an easily adapted title, lol.
That said, I'm cranky with this friend right now and haven't really spoken to her in several months. Its giving me second thoughts as to whether I trust her maturity level or not. But I'm waiting to see how I feel when my post-baby hormones level out, since I've been a bit unreasonable lately about a lot of things.
This was brought up to my hb and i. We are not religious and have not been y I church in years. Apparently my mil talked to my mom about it because she believes the v a by should be baptized. Hb and I have talked but nothing decided. We figured my sil would assume she would be the godmother but she is not even in th r running if we choose to do them.
I have seen family and friends be chosen. Just because it is someone who is family it doesn't mean they will really be there for the guidance part.
Post by pennypretty on Feb 6, 2015 11:07:29 GMT -5
We have deliberated about Godparents but have yet to pick any. For the Guardians we'll probably pick one of our sister's and their husband for the job, but Godparents is a little trickier.
MIL, FIL and my mother are Catholic, FIL is quite the uppity up in his state's KofC and they've both gotten really churchy in recent years. We will be baptizing the baby and bringing him/her up Catholic, but we don't always agree with the Church as an institution. The new Pope is awesome but I'm not a crazy religious person, I consider myself more spiritual than religious if that makes any sense.
We'll probably pick one of our sister's as the Godmother but we don't have many Catholic friends. I was considering asking my gbf from college if he would be the baby's Godfather. I think him and his husband are wonderful and despite most organized religions shunning the gay community they still are active in their faith and go to a prayer group. Spiritually I can't think of a better man to be my baby's Godfather. I'm just not sure if he'll say yes and I haven't had time to call him yet.
Technically he will be a "Sponsor" in the eyes of the church because he's not Catholic, but as long add you have one Catholic Godparent you're fine. Now I just have to grow a pair and ask, idk what I'm so worried about...
We are also Catholic, and in my opinion you can't have "godparents" without a baptism/christening. Our church requires that one of them is a practicing Catholic, and we've chosen my brother (Catholic) and DH's sister (non-religious). Basically, my view on them is that if something were to happen to us, these are the people I entrust my child to.
We picked God Parents, my two best friends are my girls God mothers, I look at it more if God forbid something happens to me look out for them kind of thing and keep them from my crazy siblings lol. Family members can be godparents, my aunt is my godmother and my uncle was my godfather
We are not choosing god parents. I dont even really understand what a god parent is supposed to be.
We are going to ask my sister and her DH if they will be the legal guardians if DH and I die and we will then make a will. We see them as the best fit because they have young children and a son who will be only 5 months older than LO. and they have all the resources to take care a of a child currently where as no one else does. The grand parents would be more than willing, sure, but if we die before we have more kids I want my kid to have the experience of "siblings."
Post by bitsybelle84 on Feb 6, 2015 11:31:55 GMT -5
I am catholic and my DH is protestant, we were married in the Catholic Church but attend both. We decided to baptize our DS and this LO in the Catholic Church and let them decide once they are older if they want to continue with the sacraments of either of our denominations of not. So LO will have god parents for the baptism and spiritual guidance if they seek it, though they are not who would take care of them if something were to happen to DH and me.
Post by winningcolors on Feb 6, 2015 11:34:31 GMT -5
We won't do god parents but will have a guardian in place through our will. My H's family is religious so I'm sure they will push to have LO baptized, which I do not want to do. If that is something LO wants to do when he gets older, that's fine. It will be his choice. But I don't see a point in doing it when he is an infant.
We are protestant although we don't go to church much, more spiritual than church going. We will have LO baptised and we have picked the godparents. Like pp, the godparents are more of an honor thing. We chose my cousin who I am really close with as the godmother and SO's oldest brother for the godfather. This has nothing to do with guardianship if anything were to happen to SO and I. Its mainly just tradition I suppose. Since protestant has less "rules" you don't have to baptise in the church itself so I'm going to try to have it on the beach. I think it'll be nice.
We are catholic and will baptize this baby. We have not decided yet who we will choose for godparents yet. Our cousins are godparents for DD and BIL and SIL as gaurdians.
Post by chilibeansm0m on Feb 6, 2015 12:34:24 GMT -5
We did not do god parents with R and will not wirh A. I do need to get on a will though to address this matter. We don't go to church. We didn't baptize R and i am not baptized.
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