MIL Rants (or raves?)

[pixie523]

This might be a fun topic. Seems from the randoms we've all got some form of rant. Let's hear it! What's the most irritating thing you've heard from your inlaws? Or do you have a magical unicorn MIL?

Lurkers! Come play.

[pixie523]

Mine: came to visit for 5 days and changed zero diapers, and now that she's back home many states away talks about how she wishes she was here to help us.

HELP HOW? By sitting on the couch telling me what a perfect baby my H was and asking what's wrong with mine? She's crying. She's a BABY.

[wildflower810]

My mom is a piece of work, so my MIL is pretty okay compared to her. It does help that we live on the other side of the country... I'm thinking if we were local we might get a bit more "advice."

[jax1182014]

Oh I could go on and on.. My inlaws stayed for 2 weeks at the end of December.. My husband couldn't take time off so it was just me and them.. They would watch my little lady while I pumped.. She would be screaming crying, our dog would be howling loudly, and they would both be signing loudly. So annoying

[pixie523]

Another: mil constantly asks about sleep and has said "it's more important that you too are sleeping than the baby" uh, okay. So if she's not sleeping but we need to be when does that happen exactly?

[HutterFlutter]

I hate to brag, but I have the elusive magical unicorn MIL. I have my crazy ass sisters in law (MIL's sons' wives) to thank for it.

They're not very respectful of her, always choose their families over MIL's (never come to holidays, or if they do, they only stay long enough to eat and then leave). What's sad, is that she's such a sweet woman, and there's no reason to act that way towards her. If she were a Super Bitch or something, I might understand, but she's not.

So with me, who actually makes an effort with her, she walks on egg shells because she doesn't want to offend or upset me. For example, she and FIL came over to watch LO for a few hours, and when I came back she said, "I didn't open your blinds because I wasn't sure if you wanted them open or not." Um, they're blinds. We're not vampires.

I obviously didn't say that, but it's sad how the other two DILs have affected her.

[briannea]

I have a magical unicorn MIL. The only thing about her is her negative views on epidurals, all four of her giant babies were pain med free. My SIL and I both had epis. I wish my in-laws weren't two hours away, they'd be here all the time if they lived closer and it would be awesome. My FIL is also really great with babies. I think they would even move closer since FIL is semi retired, but her mother lives near them and is still working (yes, at almost 80) and I don't think they could move away from her.

[briannea]

Can I rant about my mom instead? Thank goodness that Debbie Downer is two thousand miles away.

[zengal]

I have two MILs. They are both very sweet. But one is also really weird. I asked if she wanted to watch my baby, and she was asking all these questions like what do I do if she cries? And then she told me she was nervous to be alone with my baby. It really instilled confidence in me - I was wondering how my husband survived.

[moonandback]

I have to actively Calm myself down when she says, "Okay, if that's what you want." Oh the judgement dropping from this. The unsaid words after the period are probably something like "but you're an idiot." It comes up all the time. Unloading the dishwasher, selecting a brand of popcorn, dressing the kids. She is so passive aggressive and it drives me nuts. I've learned to respond with, "Yes it is."

[kfaye]

I posted a long rant about mine in Saturday randos so I won't subject you all to that one again, but I have more!
When DH called to tell her I was pregnant, she said she thought that must be why he was calling because he "never calls her"
Also at my shower she said she was sorry but DH was "the ugliest of all of her babies" who the fuck says that?!

[jjh1119]

kfaye what?? That's ridiculous. However my grandmother tells my mom that when she was born she thought she was ugly. But it was because my mom was super skinny when she was born? I don't know. Weird.

My mother and I never had a good relationship, but having LO has changed it entirely which is awesome.

MIL #1- DHs mom remarried a 'rockstar' and thinks she is still in her 30s. She has a 15 year old daughter and I'm convinced she just tells people she has her and not her 31 and 29 YO boys. Anyway like I mentioned she doesn't even want to be calls grandma. She constantly talks about how awesome of a mom she is and how I'm not comparing well at all. Guess what, lady. I'm hearing a completely different story from both your sons, so don't try to rewrite your past.

MIL #2 is very sweet but dumb as rocks lol. Every time she holds him she announces "omg he's 'fahtin'" in her incredibly strong Massachusetts accent. It gets on my nerves 'yup, he farts a lot'. I have issues with his dad enjoying his cries as I mentioned in the randoms.

Luckily we see my parents about 3-4 times a week and we see his parents 3-4 times a year lol.

[moonandback]

Feb 7, 2015 12:02:39 GMT -5 kfaye said:

I posted a long rant about mine in Saturday randos so I won't subject you all to that one again, but I have more!
When DH called to tell her I was pregnant, she said she thought that must be why he was calling because he "never calls her"
Also at my shower she said she was sorry but DH was "the ugliest of all of her babies" who the fuck says that?!

My MIL told me MH was an ugly baby, too!

[jax1182014]

I have another one... Before coming for 2 weeks I had my husband warn his parents that I breastfeed every 2 hrs... They obviously didn't listen or didn't understand that warning cuz they kept trying to hold our baby and calm her down. When she wouldn't calm down they suggested she was colicky then questioned if breastfeeding was going ok. On multiple occasions.

[millm0m]

On the last visit, I cooked every meal but one and neither offered to help cook, clean or pay for groceries. When we went for brunch on Sunday before they left, we took my car. LO gets a bit fussy at first and once we start moving she's fine. Well during the fuss, FIL says, "what's the matter, does your mean ole mom have you strapped in." Of course I do you dick. We are in the car. Stuff like that drives me bonkers!!!!!!

[kfaye]

@jjh 1119 right?! So rude! And wtf is up w your MIL #1 talking about you not comparing to her? Not cool at all! I'm also happy we see my parents 3 times more than his
moonandback I can't believe anyone would think their baby is anything but perfect!
@jax182014 I can't believe you had to put up with that, and for 2 weeks...how did you not just freak the fuck out?!

[jax1182014]

kfaye I hid upstairs a lot. They got the point I think cuz they said they would stay in a hotel next time lol

[moonandback]

kfaye They are pretty mean to him at times. Constantly making jokes about him and criticizing him. It's a wonder he turned out to be so kind and thoughtful.

[kfaye]

@jax182014 glad they got the point, my MIL is weird about breastfeeding too....it seems to make her uncomfortable for whatever reason

moonandback that's terrible! Glad he turned out to be a good guy regardless!

[jjh1119]

kfaye yeah I'm not a big fan of her. Never really was, but more so now

[pixie523]

Feb 7, 2015 12:20:09 GMT -5 jax1182014 said:

I have another one... Before coming for 2 weeks I had my husband warn his parents that I breastfeed every 2 hrs... They obviously didn't listen or didn't understand that warning cuz they kept trying to hold our baby and calm her down. When she wouldn't calm down they suggested she was colicky then questioned if breastfeeding was going ok. On multiple occasions.

Why are people so weird about breast feeding?? After each time I'd nurse my mil would want to give her a bottle. She also decided everytime LO kicked her feet she had gas. Mmmm or she's just kicking her feet?

[spikesmom]

My MIL is so passive aggressive it's ridiculous and my H is so used to it he barely notices. When I was pregnant and we decided that I would be going back work after lo was born she said "well I guess some people don't have the right priorities to be good parents" this from a lady who worked full time her entire life.

I hate spending time with her because conversations are so awkward and you constantly have to watch what you say. I'm glad they live over an hour away bc it means fewer visits but I feel bad bc H misses them

[cookielover]

When LO was a few hours old, DH handed him to MIL for a picture. She literally held him at arm's length like he was a weapon of mass destruction about to detonate. Her expression was that of fear and apprehension. A true Kodak moment.

She also ran out of my hospital room when I got up to use the bathroom. Um, there's this thing called a door. I had planned on using it.

And then there was the request for a thank you card to her sister. I never received a gift from her sister so what exactly am I thanking her for?

Fortunately, MIL lives 2400 miles away. Unfortunately, she'll be here next week. More posts to follow, I'm sure.

[pixie523]

cookielover best of luck next week.

[cookielover]

pixie523 thanks very much. It's going to be my personal hell with returning to work and a visit from MIL, SIL and BIL. I'm stocking up on alcohol and chocolate.

[zengal]

You paint a very scary picture cookielover (also sort of hilarious though)! I send you good vibes - and wishes for good alcohol and chocolate!

[pixie523]

cookielover The non stop visitors is so draining without adding in returning to work. Ooooof.

[kaimee27]

Seriously, a big WTF to your MILs! kfaye I'd have a hard time not telling your MIL that she doesn't need to see your sweet LO then if she can't keep her rotten comments to herself!

[MrsAdventure]

I have a magical unicorn MIL... Because I've never met her. Lol. FIL got custody of DH when he was two and his mom stopped contacting him when he was about 10.

I do have a bat shit crazy FIL. First of all, he's a a chauvinist pig, and openly admits that he has no respect for my marriage to DH. But never to DH, who always gets caught it the middle of he said she said drama. He has a rather unhealthy attachment to DH, too.

Once, when we were visiting FIL for a couple days, I was watching a movie and nursing a bum ankle while FIL took a nap and DH did odd jobs around the house. FIL got up from his nap and starts running (literally) around the house, yelling DHs name. He finally comes tearing into the living room and saying in a panicked voice, "Where's (DHs Name)?" I just shrugged, and said I thought he might be in are bedroom. I asked what he needed and he calls over his shoulder as he goes running down the hall, that he just has to know where he is. He comes running back again, gives me the stink eye and throws open the front door and starts shouting DHs name at the top of his lungs. A few minutes later DH comes in (from the garage) and his dad hugs him like he's a four year that got lost in the grocery store. I'm like dude, he's an almost 30 year old man. First off, his car is still here (I could see it from the living room) so how far could he have gone? Second of all, if he wants to leave... he's effing 30, so who cares? He's had his big boy panties on for a couple years now, I think he'll be host fine.

Another classic FIL moment. We were all visiting DHs grandma, who is in a memory care facility, last weekend. His grandma was holding Pips and after a while, she started to fuss. I went to take her from grandma, just had my hands under her armpits and he elbows me out of the way and picks her up. I was so floored that I couldn't even think of what to say. When I finally found my words again I said nothing because causing a scene would have upset his grandma, who was having a very good day, memory wise (she remembered DH even!). DH, who usually either sideswith no one, or his dad (because it's easier, according to him, but that's another convo altogether), was even appalled. He has plans to discuss FIL actions next time he sees him. I'll be shocked if he does, but lucky for me, I have no problem setting boundaries for FIL, even if DH won't.

My FIL likes to tell DH things like, "Oh, I know I wasn't always great your wife in the past, but I e changed." Now he just treats me like shit when DH isn't around. Sneaky ass bastard.

[MrsAdventure]

Wow, it did not look that long while I was typing. Apparently I needed to vent...