Post by MrsAdventure on Feb 8, 2015 2:21:18 GMT -5
zengal to be fair, he doesn't respect women as a whole, so I wasn't even shocked when he said that. He's a real prick most of the time. Hiis antics and attitude both amuse me and make me stabby all at once. But I remind myself often that no matter what, I still have DH, which pisses him off with no effort on my part, so that's a bonus, lol.
I think I might fall either under the unicorn category or just lucky. My mil lives on the other side of the country and has not met lo yet. She's coming out in June & I'm not overly worried about it. We get along pretty well. She's just so happy Dh & I were able to have a baby (all of his siblings have 3 or 4 kids). My only concern is the old school advice she may try to dispense. She is also quite the disciplinarian with kids & that worries me as lo gets older. I've told Dh as lo gets older his mom absolutely cannot discipline him. He won't see her enough growing up. I'm hoping that never becomes an issue.
Seriously, a big WTF to your MILs! kfaye I'd have a hard time not telling your MIL that she doesn't need to see your sweet LO then if she can't keep her rotten comments to herself!
I've had a hard time not saying that too, but I haven't even had to....she lives 15 minutes from us a has seen lo literally 3 times including at the hospital. It's really sad because I have no clue why she is acting like this
zengal thanks for the good vibes. If nothing else the combination of an all day sugar rush and a post work tipsiness will make the week go by faster.
pixie523 I'm hoping the 2 hr block between getting home from work and LO's bedtime will create just enough of an in-law buffer to maintain what's left of my sanity. The weekend though, that's a different story. FX DH takes them around town over the weekend so I can stay in bed cuddling with LO. My idea of a perfect Valentine's Day gift. ❤️
Seriously, a big WTF to your MILs! kfaye I'd have a hard time not telling your MIL that she doesn't need to see your sweet LO then if she can't keep her rotten comments to herself!
I've had a hard time not saying that too, but I haven't even had to....she lives 15 minutes from us a has seen lo literally 3 times including at the hospital. It's really sad because I have no clue why she is acting like this
It's definitely HER loss. You and your family don't need that kind of negativity in your lives! ((Hugs))!
Post by spiraltheory on Feb 8, 2015 14:34:13 GMT -5
My MIL has been here for two weeks tomorrow. And she'll be here for another two weeks. I feel like a prisoner in my own home right now. She is very helpful around the house, but it makes me feel uncomfortable after a while, like I should be cleaning constantly. I also feel pressure to have real meals, not just cereal or Mac m cheese for dinner. It's just hard to have a guest for this long. I suggested a shorter visit, but she threw a fit. I had a weak moment and gave in. I've been trying to take it all in stride, but it's getting to me. Sigh.
Post by spiraltheory on Feb 8, 2015 15:25:27 GMT -5
moonandback - no in-law suite. I wish! Our house is quite small, actually. I knew it would be hard. I can usually be assertive, but I didn't know how to put my foot down this time. Grrrrr
Post by queenbee007 on Feb 8, 2015 15:36:19 GMT -5
After 6 Years my monster-in-law turned into a magical unicorn MIL when I basically saved DH's life when his appendix burst. Hear me when I say, absolute nightmare. But, ever since then it's been like night and day. She literally said to my grandma at the time, 'She really does love my son.' Why yes, yes I do. Most people who spend 5 years together, get married and stay married for whole other year do in fact love each other...I'm now able to look back on *most* things and laugh but for a time it was really, really trying. We've come such a long way.
She was in the room when LO was born and was absolutely wonderful. I wouldn't change a thing. She helped me through some rough back labor and later generously bought me some massages. She's been so supportive and wonderful with LO, it's really amazing but if you had told me this 3 years ago, I probably would've slapped you in the face. Hard.
spiraltheory you poor thing! I can't even imagine. Sometimes I hate that our house is so small and then I remember it means nobody can really ever stay with us thank God. Good luck with your last two weeks with her, stay strong!
Post by moonandback on Feb 8, 2015 18:06:24 GMT -5
Things changed a lot with my MIL the first Christmas of DD. They wanted to come in then and booked flights to arrive at 12 on Christmas Day. We were 2 hours from the airport with plans with my family. They are Jewish, don't celebrate. I told them to change their flight. DH took my side. The said they wouldn't come at all if they couldn't come then. So we said don't come. Shockingly they found another flight! For a reasonable time and day! Ever since DH sided with me and told them they were going to have To go through me to spend time with the kids they have been much better about asking me before booking flights. This year, their 5th Christmas out, they actually came before and spent the whole holiday with us instead of showing up in the middle and feeling left out.
Full support here! They fly across the country and their family has a weird no hotel policy. So I'm stuck. At least they cook, help tidy, and do grocery runs with us!
Oh spiraltheory I'm sorry you are uncomfortable. This is how I felt when my husbands parents came for 2 weeks. We have a small house too with 1 bathroom.
Well I already wrote about my nasty step-MIL who told DH to take off his pay for the 4 days that he took off for LO's birth. But, she also accuses him of being an alcoholic because she found beer in her refrigerator (he barely ever drinks) and it couldn't possibly be from one of the other 3 men she has living at her house. It HAS to be from the one male that doesn't live with her. When in fact, it is from her husband and her 18 year old son. DH is too nice and takes the blame for everything.
Post by happytobehere on Feb 9, 2015 12:18:04 GMT -5
My MIL is attempting to invite herself on vacation with my parents and us to Disney next year. My parents have brought us there several times over my lifetime, and it has always held special memories for us. Now MIL (who was there once as a teen) insists that she MUST be there when LO meets Mickey for the first time and experiences Disney. I'm so frustrated.
Post by ashleymm197 on Feb 9, 2015 13:54:08 GMT -5
I have a lot of MIL feels.
when we went to IN to see them a few weeks ago, Henry had a really hard time adjusting to a new environment. he only wanted DH or I to hold him and he was just very stressed out the entire time. so he was crying and I was struggling to get him calmed. DH walks into the living room and was like whats wrong with Henry. MIL starts saying that he needs interaction and to be talked to....indicating I'm not entertaining him good enough. I took Henry and walked out and sat in the guest room for an hour because I was so pissed at her. and they invited 30 people over a 4 hr period---we found out she sent invitations with his face on them....even DH was overwhelmed.
she also flat out refuses to be called grandma and wants to be called "Mimi", which we all hate. she literally gets pissed if we say grandma. she also has this super annoying baby voice (she talked like a baby anyway that she does on purpose, its so bad I do not understand how she has a professional job) that is like nails on a chalkboard.
I don't think she thinks that I'm good enough for DH or that I love him enough, bc she's obsessed (not exaggerating) with her sons and always catches us on bad days. I'm not an overly affectionate person with people I don't know and not in public. I also don't like to hug people outside of my family, I just don't really like to be touched. They are not like that, so we clash there. She cried when they visited last summer when she realized she doesn't get to call the shots in DH's life anymore--FIL told us this, he had to give her half a sedative so she would just go to sleep bc he could not deal with her crying for no reason anymore. She's far worse with my BIL (he's 22). She babies him so much, even my FIL can't take it. I feel bad for the girl he marries, bc MIL will hate her and it will take the heat off of me haha.
DH just told me they're coming to visit again in 2 weeks....and DH doesn't get weekends off so yay me......
MrsAdventure wow. "Unhealthy attachment to DH" is an understatement.
You have no idea. He gets so weird if DH doesn't call every night. It's pathetic, truly.
DH and FIL had a horrible relationship while DH grew up. DH left when he was 16, over time they started talking again and sort of repaired their relationship. DH lets him get away with so much shit because he doesn't want to rock the boat and cause problems. which causes sooo many problems for DH and I. But I suspect that's what FIL wants. Nothing would make FIL happier than if DH left me and went back home to live. It's twisted. So twisted.
@ amadkins197 my mother in law legit demands to be called Mimi because that's what her first granddaughter calls her. I hate it.. I can't even say it cuz it's so annoying. I hope my daughter calls her something different lol
Post by ashleymm197 on Feb 10, 2015 13:22:13 GMT -5
jax1182014 I can't bring myself to say it either. even DH won't say because he also thinks it stupid. I think LO's should be able to pick their own names, like my niece calls my stepdad 'papa' all on her own and its adorable. my dad, who is nuts but for other reasons, is forcing 'pop-pop'---we find it equally annoying like mimi.
kfaye it was intense for sure, and the invites made it ten times crazier. I don't like crowds of people or being spotlighted for any reason, so I was really uncomfortable, and I felt so bad for Henry because he was clearly stressed by people constantly pawing at him (FIL's side is very strange and very obsessed with trying to hold him, despite the screams). I get being excited to meet the baby or to be a grandparent for the first time, but this situation was insane!
He did love DH's 92 yr old grandpa, who is the sweetest man alive. He was the only person other than us that Henry let hold him for long amounts of time---he laughed his head off at grandpa haha.
@ashleymm197 my MIL wanted to be called mimi but we told her we hated it and she had to pick another name lol she went with nana which is equally bad but whatever
@ashleymm197 my MIL wanted to be called mimi but we told her we hated it and she had to pick another name lol she went with nana which is equally bad but whatever
LOL that's awesome. I wish we could do this, but she'd probably cry for 45 days straight and my FIL would just have to sedate her again....sigh.
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