Bedtime routine?

[justbeth]

What do you ladies do as the bedtime routine? We have rarely had issues, but apparently moving broke my kid. It's been 3 weeks and 2 weeks of CIO (what we have always used when sleep training) and it's just not working. She is screaming it out (she used to just whine) and I'm just not comfortable with that. She also lies and says she needs to potty just to stall bedtime, then she doesn't go.

Right now we do bath and teeth, books, quick snuggle and hugs, potty, in bed then sing a song, leave room. She used to then go to sleep, but now she screams and screams, yells that she needs to potty and screams I NEED YOU, MOMMY. It breaks my heart and also frustrates me to no end.

Does anyone sit in the room while your LO falls asleep? What is your experience with that? I'm contemplating trying that, but I'm worried then she will need me to sit with her if she wakes up in the night.

Ugh, toddler sleep.

[junkytrunk]

When we had sleep issues after we took a trip, we did a version of CIO that made me feel better than letting him scream until he fell asleep. I would sit with him and rub his back for about 10 min. Talk about me leaving the room. And then I would say I would be back in 5 min. I would leave. He would usually cry the whole 5 min at the door and then I would go back in and do it all again. This time I said I would be back in 10 min. Then it would be 15. 15 min increments was the max. I never had to go back in after 10 min, but it made him realize I was still there. After about a week he was completely fine.

We also introduced something new to the room with him. We had gotten one of those turtles with the stars that shine on the ceiling at my baby shower, but had never used it. I figured it would be a little distraction to the room instead of him thinking I wasn't in there with him and he could change the colors and turn it off and on on his own. I was hoping he would play with it and fall asleep playing with it.

Both worked together for us. We still have the turtle in his room and it lights the room a little more while he's trying to fall asleep.

Our sleep issues were in October. It really is the worst and I hope you can find a solution soon!

[tribute17]

We've had sleep issues since about 9 months old off and onbutthey got bad in may or so. I was never comfortable with CIO so when we switched to a big bed I would stay with him until he fell asleep. Then I started waiting until he was almost asleep. I just started moving out of his room earlier and earlier. Now I snuggle him for about 10-15 minutes then say night night, love you, pull on his covers and leave some nights he isn't ok with it so I go back in. Most nights he is fine though. He doesn't usually try to stall bedtime but he is just scared to be alone sometimes. Maybe moving to a new room had been scary for her. I would also recommend something like a noise maker or the turtle that Pp suggested.

The rest of the routine for us is the same as yours, btw. And I should mention that it took us about 4-5 months to get through the process. Slow gradual changes was the key for us. It was a huge pain but it's worked.

[bantyrooster]

Sleep fairy... Lol I swear people think I am crazy but it worked. We were laying in his room until 11 and he used every stall tactic in the book. Cio did not work for him, I think he out grew it or got smarter stall tactics. So our pedi recommended the sleep fairy. Its a book that talks about going to bed and not calling out or asking for more. And if you go to sleep the sleep fairy brings you a small gift. By the 4th night he went to sleep fine by 8:30. He learned really quick if he does whine then she doesn't come. Then she faded away. If he has a bad night we remind him and she comes and then no more issues.

[sarahandeddie]

Our routine is similar to yours. I also have a hard time getting Avery to go right to sleep. Normally after story I tuck DD#1 in and then take Avery out to rock for a few minutes. I'm basically trying to give DD#1 a chance to get to sleep before the shenanigans begin. I put Avery in her crib and she calls for me no less than 10 times. If I don't go in she flips out. It's exhausting because I can't really get anything done. It usually takes her 45min - 2hrs to actually go to sleep.

And last night she learned how to climb out of her crib.

So I'm right there with you. I'd try music and/or nightlights. We still use our seahorse.

[mommymadness]

We actually switched the room Benjamin was sleeping in and got him a projected sound machine. Also we have been going to the library for new books before bed. He has been getting good at going to sleep on him own again!

[justbeth]

Thanks for all the tips ladies! I really have no issues sitting with her at night, but I know if I do it then I will have to do it at nap and that isn't possible. I work second shift, so nap time is when I shower, get dinner started if possible, and get ready for work.

I am VERY intrigued by this sleep fairy, bantyrooster!

We did get her a new sleep monkey that lights up and plays lullabies and it has helped a tiny bit, but not much.

I'm beyond frustrated with her.

[pegleg715]

We do almost the same exact routine and she recently started trying to stall too. Potty. Thirsty. Whatever it was.
What works best for us has been talking about what happens when she wakes up. "Tomorrow when you wake up you'll go to school. With Caz! And then we will have chicken for dinner." Simple things but it makes her happy and then we just tell her she has to sleep before we can do those things. And it's been working so far. Knock on wood.

[bantyrooster]

Feb 8, 2015 13:00:02 GMT -5 justbeth said:

Thanks for all the tips ladies! I really have no issues sitting with her at night, but I know if I do it then I will have to do it at nap and that isn't possible. I work second shift, so nap time is when I shower, get dinner started if possible, and get ready for work.

I am VERY intrigued by this sleep fairy, bantyrooster!

We did get her a new sleep monkey that lights up and plays lullabies and it has helped a tiny bit, but not much.

I'm beyond frustrated with her.

You can get it on amazon. One of the other moms here has done it with good results and I don't think she even got the book. Its super bribery but it worked for us! We used stickers, cars, little animals. Random stuff.

[justbeth]

We are not above bribery bantyrooster! That's how we potty trained! I may try it without the book.

[bantyrooster]

Here is a screen shot of the poem. After they get the idea you only read the poem not he whole book before bed.

[USCgirl]

I love the sleep fairy idea and will probably use it when we have to move her to her own room. Sadly, she still sleeps in our room. At least she is in her own porta crib, but just won't sleep in her room. We have been fighting it since she was 6 months. Good luck to you! Sleep problems are so tough!

[xanthepants]

We've had a rotten sleeper forever, but the last few months have settled down a bit. We went thru the stalling thing about 5 months ago and CIO didn't work for us either. I now do lay with her until she sleeps most nights. Sometimes she is fine with me leaving but I have to do a series of checks every 5 minutes. We also made DH do books with her on his own rather than all me. For some reason, bringing him into the mix really helped. He does a potty run right before we switch places and I take over.

[laurski81]

Henry doesn't believe in sleep and the only thing that worked for us for a long time was me sitting in his room with him until he fell asleep. This would usually mean I was sitting with him for over an hour most nights. CIO did not work for us either.

Like xanthepants, now that my H no longer works nights, he plays a huge part in bedtime. My H takes over bedtime once shower, teeth, and books are done; and it has made a world of difference. We all read books in our (my) bed and then Henry and my H say goodnight to me, Henry turns my light out, and tells me goodnight. He assumes I am also going to bed. Once my H and Henry are in Henry's room I sneak downstairs. The two of them will sing a few songs and my H will rub his back for a few minutes, then he tells Henry that he is going to bed, and then Henry is good with my H leaving.

[justbeth]

Oh @lauraski81, the turning off your light thing is a solid plan! Emma HATES if she thinks we aren't going to bed when she does.

[justbeth]

Tonight DH say with her for 5 minutes then left. She still cried but it was for less than 5 minutes. I think she had gotten drowsy enough in those 5 minutes he say there to not have much fight left in her. We will keep this up and see if it helps. If not, sleep fairy it is. Thanks ladies! Lots of great ideas here.

[MissMusic]

Hmm I'm sorry this is not going well for you!
I'm going to pull some ideas out of my ass here, so: maybe you can have HER choose what would make her comfy at night, such as a toy to sleep with or a new blanket. A night light maybe?

We also talk about bed time BEFORE it happens ("Its almost bed time! Do you remember how we get ready for bed? Thats right--teeth, potty, bed!") and we talk about what will happen tomorrow ("Tomorrow you can have pancakes for breakfast, we get to go to the library, and after naptime we can go to the park.")

One thing that my kid finds oddly comforting is the video monitor. She will ask me "Mommy be on the camera?", and when I say yes she is relieved. Like, somehow me spying on her is good. Once in a while she'll call out and if I answer over the monitor's intercom, she'll say "Oh, ok" and go back to sleep.

Our routine is: bath (on bath nights), PJs, snack, teeth, potty, book & song, bed. She always picks the same book, too.