Doula?

[peaseblossom55]

I know this is an early question especially coming from me. Did you have a doula at your last birth? Will you for this one? Are you considering a doula if you are a FTM?

 ***loss mentioned****

I wanted a doula with my last pregnancy and the doula group my friend used was booked already when I inquired with them at about 12 weeks. I was really determined to have one this time. I wanted to have someone assisting H & I who was there for us not a nurse who may need to tend to other people. I also wanted help too because I worry it will bring up past memories of giving birth to Anne.liese and trigger some kind of PTSD.  I don't know. 

***end of loss mention***

Now with twins I don't know if it's a good idea.  I don't know if I will have the option to go through a vaginal birth or if I will require a C-section.  I don't know how helpful a doula will be if I have to have a scheduled C section, or an emergency one.  I guess if I did decide to go through with hiring one even with the possibility of cancelling due to a loss, I'd want to have options and not choose someone because they were the only doula available. I can also speak with my OB on Monday at appointment and gather his thoughts and thoughts as to what my birth experience might be like.

Any thoughts, opinions, experiences would help.  :-)

[heybulldog56]

My whole birth process was long and is now a blur so my memory of her contributions to the process could be less significant than reality. That being said, I did not find a doula to be necessary and will not be hiring one this time. I know the doula was there and I'm sure she contributed in some way but DH was the one taking the lead on things. It really helped that he was incredibly involved in learning about all sorts of comfort measures, very supportive of and knowledgable about my birth plan, and geneally very much more in tune with me. So when it was go time, he rose to the occasion the way I expected the doula to do. As far as my experience is concerned, the doula was very much in the background. I do remember her placing cold towels on my neck a few times and being happy about it but that's it. Don't get me wrong, she was super nice and very enthusiastic and I am not anti-doula in any way. Maybe she just wasnt the right "fit" for me. Also, and this is probably why my experience was just "eh", she was relatively inexperienced. I think I was her third or fourth client.

[thelittleredm]

Yes and yes! I actually had two doulas. The hospital I will give birth at has a doula group that's on rotation like the rest of the staff so you don't get to pick your own if you're using their group. It really didn't cost much ($300 but I got it for free because military spouses get free services if their other is deployed or out of state at training) and both ladies I worked with were great. I'm not sure the first one would've been what I needed during transition but the second one definitely was! I'm not sure I would've had such a positive med-free birth without her.

[ellabee]

This is what I typed up in a previous bmb:


We had a doula for DD's birth. We did a phone/skype interview early on, then a home visit somewhere in the 30+ week range. She taught us some stretching exercises and showed us a belly sifting technique used to try and keep the baby in optimal position for avoiding back labor. I also texted with her often in the last few weeks before DD was born. She was where I went with odd questions I didn't feel were relevant enough for my OB appointments.

DH didn't think we needed a doula. I wanted one because I thought it would up my chances of helping me achieve the natural birth I was looking for. Because DD's birth was so quick (first contraction at 3:30pm, triaged at hospital at 7pm, DD born at 9pm) I don't think she was as helpful as I envisioned she'd be. Perhaps if my labor had been really long, it may have been helpful for an extra hand in addition to DH, but For this LO, I'm much more confident in myself and we won't be using one.

In terms of questions to ask in an interview:
- How many births have they attended
- Training/certification
- How many visits pre/post birth
- How do they envision supporting the birth process (will they take initiative, or ask you/your H when to step in)
- Are they "on call", or do they work with other doulas if for any chance there is an emergency/conflict and they can't make it to your birth.
- How many other clients will they take around your EDD?
- Are they willing to come to your home during early labor, or just once you're admitted to the hospital. Is there a limit on how many hours they'll stay with you?
- How long will they stay post-partum?
- Do they have any experience with lactation support?
- Do they do placenta encapsulation (if you're looking for that)

That's all I can remember asking mine.

At the end of the day, find someone you click with. The very last thing you want is feeling like you can't be yourself around this person to convey what you need or want during labor.

[silvermelody]

With twins, you need to upfront ask your OB if they will even consider letting you deliver vaginally. Every twin/multiple mom I know had to either have a scheduled c-section OR deliver vaginally literally in the operating room, just in case anything went wrong.

If either twin is breech, you will have a c-section. Basically no OBs will vaginally birth a breech baby any more.

With that said, I had a doula for my son's birth and I strongly recommend them for anyone planning on a vaginal birth, especially first time moms or VBAC moms. Also, we did not have any family nearby for labor support, it was just me and my fiance who was awesome but knew nothing about labor or newborns.

I wanted no pain meds, was high risk due to GD, and was likely to be induced. All of those played into my decision. I started making inquiries around 25 weeks pregnant and had several options in the area. I paid out of pocket, I want to say around $450

We had two pre-birth appointments with her and one postpartum visit. During my induction she was an amazing help. I had all kinds of interventions and she helped talk me through my choices and make decisions. She went and bought me a yoga ball because we forgot to get one. She held my hand and coached me through awful contractions. She played meditation guides on her cell phone when I thought that might help.

And when shit started hitting the fan and we had to decide whether to keep beating a dead horse or have a c-section, I knew the c-section was the right choice when she agreed. She has seen hundreds of births and knew mine was starting to go sideways. Having her support in that moment means that I have very few regrets about how everything went down.

Her postpartum visit, she helped convince me that I had PPD and needed help. (I was unsure if it was PPD or just baby blues).

So I am Team Doula all the way. I will likely have a repeat c-section this time and not hire one for during labor, but I will probably hire a post-partum doula because we're going to need the help after we come home. We needed it last time and I didn't know.

[peaseblossom55]

Thanks so much everyone! I have to talk with H about it and I'm still not 100% sure either way on this yet.
ellabee, I like the list of questions to ask!
silvermelody, no family will be in the room when I deliver it was like that last time and I prefer it to be the same. I definitely need to speak with my OB to see how they will handle a twin birth to begin with you are right.

[aprilz81]

I'm hoping my Mom can serve as a doula. She is calm, a nurse and has gone through this before. If something happens and Mom can't attend (and it would be something serious) then I will "make due" with DH. DH is great at a lot of things but support and sympathy are not his strong suits but sometimes he surprises me.

Twin Anecdote:

My sister was able to give birth to her twins vaginally (second birth) and the only reason my Mom got to be in the room was because she was a nurse (not for that hospital). This is something you will need to check into about the hospital policy about how many people in the room and if you will deliver in an OR in case of emergency or if you will have to have a c-section.

My sister was fortunate that the way each baby implanted that they could attempt a vaginal delivery and even more fortunate that the babies stayed head down with Baby A positioned over the cervix.

Her regular OB would have forced a c-section no matter what but another doctor in the practice is willing to let Mom's give it a shot as long as the babies are in a good position and there are no other risk factors.

[heybulldog56]

aprilz81, I love that story. I've never met or heard of anyone who vaginally delivered twins before. Just awesome!

[heybulldog56]

Now that you mention VBAC, silvermelody... Maybe I should think it over a bit more. I am going for a VBAC and I want to set myself up for success (as much as one can in the face of uncertainty). Ill have to talk to MH and maybe talk to local doulas about VBAC. I know my first experience wasn't great but now that I am informed maybe I'll have better luck finding one I really mesh with who will help me get this VBAC. There is so damn much to think about!

[peaseblossom55]

aprilz81, wow that is great your sister was able to give birth vaginally to twins. I hope I can but I am aware the chances are high I won't.

[aprilz81]

Jun 8, 2016 19:18:00 GMT -5 heybulldog56 said:

aprilz81 , I love that story. I've never met or heard of anyone who vaginally delivered twins before. Just awesome!

My sister is made to carry babies.  lol  With Both pregnancies she was "all baby" and with the twins she had no complications at all and was able to breast feed them both for a year.  She carried them to 38 weeks and actually started having contractions early in the morning on when they were going to induce her.  She wasn't on bedrest, no GD, no blood pressure problems, it was a picture perfect pregnancy.  She was really uncomfortable at the end but all things considered it was an easy pregnancy for her.

[heybulldog56]

aprilz81 that's amazing! I am in awe.

[osumegs]

I will have a doula this time. My goal last time was a natural birth. I ended up being induced due to preeclampsia. The hospital was very pushy with meds and the pitocin and I didn't do well together. When the night nurse couldn't figure out mobile monitoring so I could move around, my pain management plans went down the drain and I got the epidural (not to knock those who choose that route). I feel like having a doula there as a support person would have helped.


ETA: my night nurses were horrible at the hospital for delivery and postpartum. And my husband slept for a good portion of the labor. Both parts play a huge role in wanting more support this time

[siouxsieq]

I've been researching doulas in my area and am convinced that hiring one will give me the best shot at a successful VBAC. I really liked one in particular I talked to, and she anticipated all of my questions/concerns, stuff like making sure my H isn't overshadowed.

Also, anecdotally, I have a friend who delivered twins vaginally and did beautifully! She went on to have baby 3 at a birth center a few years later

[silvermelody]

osumegs I'm sorry you had a bad induction experience. Pitocin and I did not get along well either and the mobile telemetry unit in my room wasn't working so I was stuck tethered in like a 6 foot square area on the monitor. Grrrr. If I could go back in time I would demand that they move me to another room with working telemetry (the units couldn't be swapped from another room, we asked).

Doing an induction without pain meds CAN be done (I asked my doula) but it often takes longer and is more extreme due to the pitocin.

After my c-section they said I'd be a good candidate for VBAC but unless I go into labor on my own pre-39 weeks, I'll be going for the repeat c-section.