Post by goldenlove3 on Jun 11, 2016 18:10:19 GMT -5
My heart just dropped reading this. I am so sorry that you and your husband are going through this longhorn. Sending so many thoughts and prayers to you.
I am so sorry you're going through this Longhorn. I've got no experience here but you will be in my thoughts. I hope you guys can work with your docs to find the safest and best solution for both you and the girls.
Low Ovarian Reserve (low AMH), poor egg quality, abnormal EFT (glandular developmental arrest, endo). TTC with open ID donor sperm. Non-bio mommy to DD (born to DW 2013). IUIs 1-7 = BFN. IVF #1 Sept 2014: 8R, 5M, 3F, 5 day transfer of 1 morula = BFN. IVF#2 Jan/Feb 2015 13R, 11M, 9F, 5 day transfer of a 5AA blast, BFFN. FET#1 (DW as carrier) May 2015 5AA & 4AA = BFP! DD2 born February 2016
It's a site specifically to support those who have experienced loss or termination of one or more of multiples or that are facing that decision now. It might be a good resource for questions or just support through this whole process.
I might just be grasping at straws here. I just feel so helpless right now, I just hate this for her.
Me-35 DH-36 Married since 9/21/2013 DX- Me- PCOS + MTHFR, DH- Perfect and Proven
TTC since 2007 (with a 2.5 year break due to "life restructuring") All BFN's until May 2014 (mc at 5w) and Oct 2014 (mc at 11w3d, 12/16/14), includes 2 failed medicated IUI cycles and 3 failed TI medicated cycles since May 2014
Post by NariaDreaming on Jun 12, 2016 6:29:38 GMT -5
My gut (DH and I have 15 years of medical education between the two of us, but neither of us went on to working in clinical fields) is that getting Liv to 24+0 should be the biggest priority, so that way if things do go ass up with bringing Cate into the world, Liv's got a fighting chance
5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
Sending prayers & love. I can't imagine what they are going g through right now & I hope they will eventually find peace with their decisions. My heart is breaking for them to even be in this situation.
housecarder I sent her that link. I stumbled upon it too. Thanks for sending that!
Thank you everyone for your thoughts, love, and prayers. I've been delivering messages and emailing list questions and longhorn is so appreciative. Tomorrow she should have more answers and I will update you all as well. Thank you for the support and solidarity.
I'm so sorry to hear this. I had a medical termination at 17 weeks last year (after IVF 1). It was the most agonizing decision we have ever made, and will live with the pain and trauma always, but I don't regret our desicion. We took our baby's pain so our child didn't have to feel it.
Are you collecting questions for her to ask kaliRN or should I PM her?
As an FYI, states differ for when you can realistically (I'm talking practicality, not law) get a medical termination (if that's their choice) but she is still within that window.
She may also want to read a bit at aheartbreakingchoice.com and endingawantedpregnancy.com . Both sites helped me.
I'm sick to my stomach. Oh longhorn, you have all the prayers. You, your husband, Cate and Liv. I have no advice, but agree with finding support from those with experience, finding out ALL possible scenarios and the risks of each. Obviously your safety and the safety of the girls in all this is top priority. I just really pray that you have strong support in your family and locally to help you in coping with whatever decisions you have to make.
You are so strong, you love your girls so much, there is no doubt in this.
Thank you kaliRN for looking in on her and keeping us updated.
I have no experience to offer here but I am sending all my good thoughts and support to her and her husband. Have you thought about cross posting to the late term loss board? I of course don't know anout their guidelines on posts but it was just a thought.
I'll go lurk over there and see what I find. Thanks for the idea.
There are a few of us that have TFMR in the second trimester. There are others who have lost a child at stillbirth or in late third tri.
You'll find everyone very supportive, but it's not a very active board so people may not see if you post something. Just a heads up
Oh Longhorn, how heartbreaking. Others have already listed all the questions I could think of, so I'll just send thoughts and prayers and hugs and love.
Post by shananagins on Jun 12, 2016 13:08:16 GMT -5
Oh Longhorn, I'm just so heartbroken to hear all of this. I have little in the way of advice. I think I would just want to understand the risks and benefits of TFMR and carrying to term... Sending you prayers and love and hugs, and wishing you peace in your decisions
Post by eponine1007 on Jun 12, 2016 14:16:44 GMT -5
Oh sweetheart, I am so incredibly sorry.... My heart breaks for you and I am sending all of my warm thoughts and prayers to you and your doctors as you try to figure out your next steps... Praying for your sweet babies...
Post by Martinis&Medicine on Jun 12, 2016 20:05:57 GMT -5
My heart aches so badly for her and her husband. I'm so, so sorry that she's dealing with this. I have no advice or experience to offer, but you're in my thoughts my friend. So many hugs.
ETA: Echoing @wineandcupcakes, if a photographer is desired, Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep is a volunteer based birth photography organization that will photograph your baby at no cost to you in the event of a still birth or when the baby only has limited time with their parents before they pass. These photographers are professionals and go through an approval process, so you aren't just getting someone who has never dealt with a situation like this before. They have people all over the nation, so all you have to do is contact them and they will make sure someone in your area is available. If that is what they want, of course.
I am so truly sorry.... We lost Robin to vanishing twin syndrome at 8 weeks, and we were devastated. Then we lost Rosa at 30w3d due to multiple congenital anomalies. I sincerely thought my life was over. The pain from the loss was overwhelming. While my life wasn't over, it certainly would never be the same. We felt powerless. Helpless. It was so, so horrible. I am so, so sorry you are going through this. There is no deeper pain than the loss of a child.
Married 10 years. DX: AMA, DOR, endo, one tube, +NK, homozygous MTHFR C677T, and abnormal endometrial function test. MFI with high DNA fragmentation and pericentric inversion on chromosome 9.
Oh my heart goes out to you and your husband. It's so unfair you are having to go through this. While my situation was not as complex as yours, I do know the shock and horror of finding out something lethal is wrong with your baby and having to make a decision to terminate. A decision no parent should ever have to make. I am so sorry and my thoughts and prayers are with you in the upcoming days.
Me:31 DH:31 TTC since January 2013 1/23/14-Surgery Diagnosis: severe pelvic adhesions from stage 3/4 endo and old ruptured appendix RE Recommends IVF due to likely tubal damage IVF #1- November 2014 - BFP: CP FET #1: February 2015 - BFP: TFMR Anencephaly FET #2: March 2016- BFN FET #3: April 2016- BFP: Team Pink!!! EDD 12/31/16 One precious Baby Girl born 12/26/16 2 Frosties
Post by mustloveerica on Jun 13, 2016 5:56:10 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. My heart is breaking for you and your husband during this horrible and unexpected time. I agree with PP that I would think the optimal choice would be to get Liv to viability. However I can imagine carrying the knowledge of Cates prognosis with you must make the decision even more difficult. Please know I am sending love and prayers for you and YH, love and prayers for sweet baby Cate and love and prayers that Liv continues to grow and thrive.
Me: 32, PCOS Him: 30, 4.5% morph, TTC: 10/11/12 After 5 failed Clomid cycles and 3 failed Femara cycles with HCG triggers, IVF #1 w/ICSI April 2015 resulted in a BFP! Our little Newt was born January 2016!
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