Desperate for insight!

[lilmac2929]

Hello all!!

First, I should intro.  We are going through adoption progress and are waiting for our license (we already had our home study, just waiting for the write up!!  Our agency works with mostly newborns for their domestic program (Not foster to adopt). 

Today, we got a call from our counselor that there is a boy who is 27 months that "DCFS is involved".  We have a son who is 4.5 year old. 

We haven't really been thinking too much about older children but we are thrilled to be presented with this opportunity.  

My question from this wonderful community is since we were taking classes and getting prepared much more for the newborn/baby situations, what should we be aware of? 

My first thought of course is attachment and trust.  I know there is so much wisdom in this group and great foster experiences.  

This is just too important to take this decision lightly.  

Thank you so much for for any insight!!

[redandblue]

Welcome to the group! That is definitely a lot to consider and take in? When we finished our approval process we left ourselves open to an age range of 0-6years (we adopted through our local CAS), and figured we would be matched with an older child. We had the opposite and ended up being presented and matched with a baby yet to be born. So definitely lots of questions!

I would recommend you get as much of this LO's history as you possibly can. How did they come to be apprehended? Any family history from both parents of things like mental health concerns, adictions, developmental delays? What is known about prenatal history? Any exposure to drugs or alcohol? Any trauma or abuse experienced by the mother prenataly? Concerns with nutrition and medical care Prenatally? Is this situation a foster to adopt? Or is it adoption? What is the plans for openness with the birth family? Who is the child living with currently and for how long? Then there are racial and cultural considerations. Does the child have any developmental concerns or have they been seen or followed by any early intervention programs? Ask ALL the questions in your heart. Then take that information and consider the implications. Depending on the information you receive back from your questions, you can explore and research things that may have long term effects (ie prenatal exposure to drugs or alcohol). If there are any concerns, I would also inquire about any post adoption supports, should there be struggles or challenges down the road. Will they support therapy for things like attachment or trauma. It sounds like the age range would be good with you son and this LO.

It is such an over whelming time to be presented with a scenario. Trust your gut, review all the information and you should never be made to feel that if this situation does not seem like the right fit for your family that you have to say yes. GL with your decision! Please let us know how it goes or what you end up deciding on!