TWW/WTO 7/11-7/18

[wannabmama]

Let it out here. Tell us where you are in your cycle. Are you feeling good? Anxious? Happy? Sad?
WTO and trying to seduce the SO?!
In the TWW and spotting symptoms like crazy? Need company on the crazy train?
Talk it out here!

GTKY: favorite cookout food?

[sleepymonkey]

CD10 here. I just realized I have no wondfo OPK so I'm going to have to break out the expensive CB ones I have been hoarding until I can replenish my supply. MH and I had a discussion yesterday about how IF is affecting me emotionally. This came after I saw on his FB that one of his old co-workers is 9 months pregnant with her second (her first is almost a year younger than my DD) and when I commented how she's lucky, he said "Well, she is a lot younger." As expected, I got upset and we ended up in a long discussion about IF and how it affects me. I can't help but feel like maybe if we had MFI, he would be a little more sensitive to it but because it's essentially just my crappy body that's stopping us from having another child, he didn't get it. I think he has a better understanding now, but we'll see.

GTKY: I love my mom's macaroni salad. And some good southern-style potato salad.

[caer]

Hugs sleepymonkey. Sometimes it's hard for my DH to "get it" also. I'm glad you had a good talk.

[wannabmama]

sleepymonkey IF is so unfair and it is so hard to explain sometimes how it affects you...it's so personal to each person. I'm glad that you guys talked it out.

I'm, according to FF, 14dpo. My usual LP is 12 or so. My temps have been unreliable all month. They were mostly very low, three days ago went below cover line. Now they're sky high (I did have some wine last night). But I tested this am, BFN on a wondfo. We'll just see what happens, I guess. After two years of trying, my body still finds new ways to mess with me!
QOTW: I love potato salad and pasta salad...give me allllll the carbs, ha!

[caer]

I'm 6 DPO and testing out my trigger. I don't feel pregnant at all and already feel out, which is dumb because it's so early. I feel like this process has made me the world's biggest pessimist. It just wears you down.

QOTW: grilled corn on the cob.

[caer]

All the things crossed for you wannabmama!

[wannabmama]

Mmmm grilled corn on the cob is so good, too! caer
I hear you on being a pessimist now, too...I feel absolutely nothing one way or the other anymore. I used together so excited about the possibilities...now I'm just always sure it's not gonna happen.

[caer]

Love tit for getting it wannabmama, although I'm sorry you feel a similar way. IF can suck it.

[hooligans4]

Guess whose still here........ Yup it's me!!!!!
I'm about 40 days from my last period, if you can even call the heavy spitting I had a period. I've been testing once a week but as expected BFN. I'm waiting one more week for a period then I calling Dr.
I guess I will need something to jump start me but I would like some blood work done to see hormonally what is going on. I'm so afraid I'm starting menopause. I turn 41 in a few weeks and I feel too young for this to be happening.
sleepymonkey IF totally sucks balls!!!! My DH doesn't get it at all because he is happy to have our 11 year old and my daughter (20) who he adopted. I have been dealing with IF for 10 years and I am so grateful for what I do have but why doesn't my body work like most other woman. Why me, or you and the other woman suffering with this. I try and convince myself that I will be happier if we just stop trying and eliminate the stress of ttc but I want another child so bad I know I will have in the back of my mind that it would have worked if we only tried a little longer. Does that make sense?
I'm just super sensitive right now so don't mind me.

GTKY: I love grilled corn and potato salad.

[hooligans4]

Didn't see your posts before I posted caer and wannabmama, good luck to you both!!!!!

[sleepymonkey]

hooligans4, that makes a lot of sense to me! Last cycle was supposed to be our last because I wanted to be pregnant and deliver before I turn 40 next March. And I feel like TTC puts so much stress on me and, to an extent, on our marriage that I sometimes feel like I would be happier if we just stopped and we could move on with our lives. But I really want another child and in my heart I just don't feel quite ready to give up. And I know as soon as we stop, I will have that voice saying "this cycle could've been the one if only you kept trying." IF does really suck and it's just not fair that anyone has to deal with it.

[jlincoln]

hugs sleepymonkey - I hate using the age card, but I do it to myself sometimes.
wannabmama - our bodies love to play tricks on us.
caer - totally agree - it does wear you down and it's hard to get excited anymore. hugs!
hooligans4 - I hope AF comes soon - the waiting stinks.

[sleepymonkey]

wannabmama and caer, I sort of miss this time last year when I would symptom spot and count down the days until I could test because I was full of so much hope. While there's a little less stress during the TWW now because I'm also pessimistic, it's sad that we've all gotten that way.

[jlincoln]

CD9 in our first cycle after loss. I'm getting an HSG tomorrow to make sure nothing is left. I hear that it helps some people conceive, but we've had one before a few years ago and no such luck, so I'm not banking on it. Just going to start with OPKs in a few days this cycle. Getting frustrated seeing all the announcements on FB. It's like non-stop lately.

GTKY - I just love some good burgers, specifically made with cheese and bacon inside them.

[sleepymonkey]

jlincoln , I try not to use the age card because there are so many women who are a lot younger than us who are dealing with IF as well. But it is hard because when we have our "advanced maternal age" label, you can't help but think that maybe if you started trying a little earlier it would've been easier. MH did actually take some blame when it came to me being older because I was ready to start TTC before he was, both times. He didn't feel that sense of urgency I did.

[caer]

I'm so sorry you're still waiting hooligans4. I hope AF shows up soon! And (((hugs))) for all the difficult feelings. We're 2IF, too, and while of course I'm grateful to have DS, it doesn't make the pain any less. So I get it.

I hope the HSG goes well tomorrow jlincoln!

[caer]

Jul 11, 2016 9:31:15 GMT -5 sleepymonkey said:

wannabmama and caer, I sort of miss this time last year when I would symptom spot and count down the days until I could test because I was full of so much hope. While there's a little less stress during the TWW now because I'm also pessimistic, it's sad that we've all gotten that way.

I simultaneously envy and hate myself year ago self. I miss the excitement I felt but I also hate how I just assumed it would work for me. I was so focused on what month I would have a baby and stupid things like that. Also, I have to say that I absolutely HATE that the three of us are still here. It sucks!

[wannabmama]

*TW*

So I'm still waiting...17dpo per ff but I'm sure that's not right now. Negative wondfo every day. Then...today...maybe a shadow? But literally I might just be making it up. I didn't even tell H because he would think I was crazy. Im pretty sure I must be. Im not hopeful since even if there is a line, that super faint line thing reminds me too much of my losses. If there is no line then I think I must've O'ed on CD27, when I had a super low temp dip, in which case we have no chance and I'm just 5dpo and have a long time to wait...
I really will go get a FRER today if no AF, it's time.

[caer]

So many things crossed for you wannabmama! Please keep us updated!

[wannabmama]

Thanks caer I feel crazy even writing that I maybe saw something. I feel like a noob, ha. But I had to let it out somewhere!

[badwolf]

Lots of hugs sleepymonkey, caer and hooligans4.
Fingers crossed for you wannabmama!

[sleepymonkey]

I have everything crossed for you, wannabmama! I really hope it was a line and not a shadow!

[hooligans4]

wannabmama I hope that squinter gets darker. But lady, a line is a line!!!!!! I know what you mean about being nervous with your past history. Every time I take a test I don't know if I'm more nervous for a positive or negative.
I will cross everything on my body for you.
Keep us updated

[wannabmama]

hooligans4 (and everyone else) it was my eyes playing tricks on me, I think! Just tested again and nothing.

[caer]

I'm sorry wannabmama.

[wannabmama]

Jul 14, 2016 19:12:06 GMT -5 caer said:

I'm sorry wannabmama.

Thanks...I knew it was too good to be true! But that little voice said...but maybe?!? I'm guessing I O'ed crazy late and now, essentially have another week or so to wait until AF comes and we can prep for IVF. We have had hardly any sex after my FW this month, so there's no chance we hit that late O day. Boooooo.

[caer]

Jul 14, 2016 19:23:15 GMT -5 wannabmama said:

Jul 14, 2016 19:12:06 GMT -5 caer said:

I'm sorry wannabmama.

Thanks...I knew it was too good to be true! But that little voice said...but maybe?!? I'm guessing I O'ed crazy late and now, essentially have another week or so to wait until AF comes and we can prep for IVF. We have had hardly any sex after my FW this month, so there's no chance we hit that late O day. Boooooo.

Ugh, bodies are such jerks! I hope time goes quickly and you can move on soon.