UOs Anyone?

[creepyeyeball]

You know you have some.

[creepyeyeball]

I just read some backlash about some woman dry BFing her friend's baby. The responses all seem to be that people are grossed out about someone else nursing their kid. That honestly wouldn't bother me if it was someone I know and trust, like my sister or BFF. If the alternative was my baby being inconsolable until I get to him, I'd rather he be comforted and feel safe at a boob.

My sister keeps telling me that I'm going to watch her babies for her one day. I've said I'm cool with that as long as she's cool with me nursing for comfort. I've watched friends' kids when I couldn't do that and it was torture. Their kids would shriek and I know no other way to calm an upset baby than to give them a boob.

[creepyeyeball]

Jul 14, 2016 10:17:46 GMT -5 @unicornofthesea said:

creepyeyeball people just love to hate on any and everything. Unless they're directly involved in a situation I think they should just keep their damn judgey opinions to themselves...especially when it comes to feeding and comforting a baby.

Well, in the case I'm referring to the woman did sort of put it out there on the Internet, so people were bound to give their opinions.

But really, I see nothing wrong with this. Human beings around the world have been doing it for centuries withwet nurses and the whole "it takes a village" idea. For some reason we're weird about breasts in our culture.

[jags8]

creepyeyeball is "dry BFing" just letting a baby be at your breast even though you're not lactating?

It's funny timing of you bringing this up because yesterday one of my co-workers left her baby at work while she went out in the community to do her work. Her baby was shrieking and inconsolable, and I had this thought that I would be willing to nurse her if she didn't have any milk if her mom was also ok with it. She had formula in her diaper bag, but it was something that crossed my mind.

[jags8]

OU: There are WAY too many "articles" and blog posts about how we need to stop judging moms. Most people who feel "judged" about how they birthed, feed their baby, etc. are imaging the judgement because they feel insecure about their choices/experiences. Paranoid, if you will.

Sure there are a FEW ass holes in the world who may actually verbalized their thoughts. But I can pretty much guarantee that everyone is too self-absorbed to give two shits if you had an epidural or had a c-section, or if you NIP or formula feed.

[Deleted]

Jul 14, 2016 10:26:15 GMT -5 creepyeyeball said:

Jul 14, 2016 10:17:46 GMT -5 @unicornofthesea said:

creepyeyeball people just love to hate on any and everything. Unless they're directly involved in a situation I think they should just keep their damn judgey opinions to themselves...especially when it comes to feeding and comforting a baby.

Well, in the case I'm referring to the woman did sort of put it out there on the Internet, so people were bound to give their opinions.

But really, I see nothing wrong with this. Human beings around the world have been doing it for centuries withwet nurses and the whole "it takes a village" idea. For some reason we're weird about breasts in our culture.

There are some cultures where men will dry nurse when necessary.

[creepyeyeball]

Jul 14, 2016 10:33:57 GMT -5 adelbert said:

Meh. I would have an issue with it if someone did it to my baby. Don't care what other people do.

Other soothing options like singing, swaying, giving a pacifier,etc exist and that is what I expect when the babysitter or my mom watches the baby.

Oh yeah, I would totally try other options first, but I told my sister that I have five kids, so if she wants me watching her baby, I'm too busy to spend all day soothing her fussy baby. With my kids I just pop a boob in their mouth and they are fine. It takes five minutes versus thirty of rocking and singing.

It's different when grandma only has one kid to watch. She can sit all day in a rocker and let baby sleep if she wants to.

[scotty138]

Jul 14, 2016 11:02:51 GMT -5 jags8 said:

OU: There are WAY too many "articles" and blog posts about how we need to stop judging moms. Most people who feel "judged" about how they birthed, feed their baby, etc. are imaging the judgement because they feel insecure about their choices/experiences. Paranoid, if you will.

Sure there are a FEW ass holes in the world who may actually verbalized their thoughts. But I can pretty much guarantee that everyone is too self-absorbed to give two shits if you had an epidural or had a c-section, or if you NIP or formula feed.

I agree. We need to be better at owning our parenting decisions. A lot of judgement is in our own insecurities (not to say there aren't people who are rude). I know that this time around I am much less concerned with what other people think.

[scotty138]

My UO, the newborn stage is one of the best stages and I will miss it.

[creepyeyeball]

Jul 14, 2016 13:43:57 GMT -5 heartbot said:

Also too many articles on how not-glamorous motherhood is and memes about wine.

YES! I'm so sick of this and also the incompetent dad stereotype everywhere.

Sometimes I look at mothers I know and I feel like they think they have to hate being a mom and complain about their kids and husbands just because the media tells them that's what wives and mothers do. So annoying.

[jags8]

Jul 14, 2016 13:43:57 GMT -5 heartbot said:

I do feel like mothers are judged for all sorts of things, and I don't think it's imagined or paranoia. Maybe I know an unusual number of assholes, but I feel like I've got enough anecdotal evidence to back me up on this. Obviously, confidence does make it easier to shrug off that judgment, but I'm kind of bothered by the argument that if someone is affected by the shitty things someone is saying about them or their parenting, that's on them for being "insecure" mothers, which kind of sounds like a roundabout way of judging them and their choices. IMO, being a nosy asshole is on the asshole.

100% agree on there being too many articles about it, though. Also too many articles on how not-glamorous motherhood is and memes about wine.

That is not what I was saying at all. I did not say that if you can't just shrug it off that that makes you insecure. I'm saying that if you're already insecure, you're more likely to feel like people are judging you.

[creepyeyeball]

My favorite stages have been different with each kid. I LOVED the newborn stage with this baby because he was a dream. Now that he's starting to be more wakeful and in need of entertainment I am missing the newborn stage, but it wasn't my favorite with other babies.

Overall I love ages 18 months - 2.5. They are so adorable then. I'm loving my boys at 7-8 because they are still so young and sweet, but also very capable and helpful - and not so old that they dislike me babying them and are embarassed to show affection.

I dislike 3-12 months the most. I mean, I love babies, but it's definitely the most tiresome stage. Being mobile, but not understanding boundaries is so, so much work. Also, the lack of sleep starts to wear on me then.

[jags8]

Jul 14, 2016 13:31:08 GMT -5 scotty138 said:

My UO, the newborn stage is one of the best stages and I will miss it.

Ha definitely an UO with me! I was just thinking today about how I love nursing now. But during the newborn stage I would get so much anxiety when DS would cry to eat because it was such a fumbling shit-show! And waking up every couple of hours. Eek. I love it so much more now that DS can smile and interact a little.

[creepyeyeball]

Jul 14, 2016 14:10:02 GMT -5 @ismellbooks said:

Jul 14, 2016 14:04:59 GMT -5 creepyeyeball said:

YES! I'm so sick of this and also the incompetent dad stereotype everywhere.

Sometimes I look at mothers I know and I feel like they think they have to hate being a mom and complain about their kids and husbands just because the media tells them that's what wives and mothers do. So annoying.

so much.

My husband drives me crazy, and he doesn't always do everything with Star the way I'd do it, but he is far from incompetent. I have to really bite my tongue when I read page after page, and article after article about how what man didn't do what right today.

Yes. My husband isn't as knowledgeable about babies because it's not his job in our marriage. He doesn't even know where I keep half the baby stuff or how to use it, but it's not because he's a moron, it's because I do it for him. He's perfectly capable of figuring it out if I step back and give him a chance.

[creepyeyeball]

Jul 14, 2016 14:29:10 GMT -5 heartbot said:

Jul 14, 2016 14:04:59 GMT -5 creepyeyeball said:

YES! I'm so sick of this and also the incompetent dad stereotype everywhere.

Sometimes I look at mothers I know and I feel like they think they have to hate being a mom and complain about their kids and husbands just because the media tells them that's what wives and mothers do. So annoying.

I hate the incompetent dad stereotype. Most dads I know are not incompetent and hate that portrayal, and for the couple I do know who are incompetent, it's not just cute and bumbling. It's mostly willful selfishness. Like, they refuse to learn how to take care of their kids because they don't think their children's daily care is their responsibility. Not funny at all.

ETA: creepyeyeball , your next post popped up while I was publishing this and I realized without further context, this could sound super asshole-ish. Wanted to be clear, I'm not talking about divisions of labor. I'm talking about dudes who do jack diddly and refuse to even try, feigning helplessness when they're asked to step up. 

No offense taken. DH and I have an arrangement that works for us. It's not laziness that keeps him not doing baby stuff when he's home (confession - he has never changed this baby's diaper), it's a division of labor we both agreed on. While I'm changing diapers he's very hands on with my older children and does the bulk of the parenting work with them, apart from meals, when he's home. Babies and diapers just aren't his thing, just like mowing our property for three hours every week or shoveling show at 5 am in frigid weather aren't my thing. It works well for us that neither partner expects the other to fo the things they don't enjoy.

[jags8]

Jul 14, 2016 15:26:12 GMT -5 @ismellbooks said:

Jul 14, 2016 15:23:29 GMT -5 heartbot said:

Oh! I have one. I think crying babies are funny. Like, not that I'd intentionally make one cry or that I will laugh in their faces instead of picking them up, and there are times (like MOTN) when it's definitely not funny. But generally, when babies cry, I laugh. It's adorable, and babies get worked up over the most hilarious stuff.

LOL. I've been known to mock Star when he fusses.

"Wahhh. I'm a baby and life is so hard. Wahhhh."

Glad I'm not the only one! Or "oh my god you're SUCH a baby!"

[wineallthetime]

Jul 14, 2016 15:04:06 GMT -5 lovemyk said:

I have a really involved husband and I am thankful for that. I also have numerous male friends/acquaintances who are not hands on or female friends/acquaintances who have husbands who are not super hands on with their kids.

I kind of feel like the "stop calling dads incompetent" movement of late is dads being kind of whiny. Maybe this has always gone on and you just don't notice until you have kids. My dad worked full time and my mom was a sahm for most of my childhood, but my dad was always very involved and we had a lot of family time.

I don't know... Maybe I'm just too exhausted to deal with men who have their panties in a bunch 😛

I agree. My husband is super hands on, but I know a lot of men who sort of think kids are the woman's job and choose to be hands off. It's not that they're incompetent, they just choose not to be very involved and then are kinda clueless. This wouldn't fly in my house!

[wineallthetime]

You've all probably already discussed this, but I'm anti ear piercing for babies. I don't get why people chose to do it and I think it looks kinda stupid.

[rubykitten]

Jul 14, 2016 10:10:29 GMT -5 creepyeyeball said:

I just read some backlash about some woman dry BFing her friend's baby. The responses all seem to be that people are grossed out about someone else nursing their kid. That honestly wouldn't bother me if it was someone I know and trust, like my sister or BFF. If the alternative was my baby being inconsolable until I get to him, I'd rather he be comforted and feel safe at a boob.

My sister keeps telling me that I'm going to watch her babies for her one day. I've said I'm cool with that as long as she's cool with me nursing for comfort. I've watched friends' kids when I couldn't do that and it was torture. Their kids would shriek and I know no other way to calm an upset baby than to give them a boob.

This doesn't weird me out. When the doctors wanted to give formula to supplement lo before my milk came in my sister offered to give her breastmilk instead. We didn't end up having to do that but I was ok with it.

[sammie]

Jul 14, 2016 14:58:40 GMT -5 lovemyk said:

Anyone over the age of 10 that wears a romper looks silly.

I had to explain to my SO what a romper was (for the baby) the other day. He thinks they're hilarious for some reason.

[jags8]

Jul 14, 2016 17:11:28 GMT -5 heartbot said:

Jul 14, 2016 15:58:49 GMT -5 wineallthetime said:

You've all probably already discussed this, but I'm anti ear piercing for babies. I don't get why people chose to do it and I think it looks kinda stupid.

I wouldn't go so far as to say it looks stupid, but it's not something I would do. I had a lot of problems with my pierced ears when I was little, and it was a lot of work to take care of them. Would just rather kids not get them until they're old enough to decide for themselves and be responsible for them.

+1 all this

[wineallthetime]

Jul 14, 2016 18:55:05 GMT -5 lovemyk said:

Jul 14, 2016 18:24:22 GMT -5 @unicornofthesea said:

I don't think H gave DS1 a bath until he was around 6 months. He hasn't bathed this baby at all (not that he really gets bathed that often yet.) I don't mind it, but i also don't get how he's ok with missing out on moments like that that he won't get back. Whatevs.

Bath time for the kids is not my favorite time, so I kind of get it

+1! I sort of dread bath time. H hasn't bathed this baby at all either. I have been doing her baths and he does the toddlers.

[wineallthetime]

Jul 14, 2016 18:53:51 GMT -5 lovemyk said:

Jul 14, 2016 15:58:49 GMT -5 wineallthetime said:

You've all probably already discussed this, but I'm anti ear piercing for babies. I don't get why people chose to do it and I think it looks kinda stupid.

I babysat a girl who pulled her earring out and ripped her ear when she was like 1.5. We'll be waiting until she's older!

Ow ow ow! Poor girl. I'm surprised it doesn't happen more (or maybe it does and I don't hear about it).

[jags8]

UO: it should be normal/accepted/expected that men also shave their armpit hair.

[mrsk23]

creepyeyeball I also don't understand the upheaval of others nursing babies. That's the function of breasts! They are meant to be used to soothe and feed babies!

My DH is very hands on and literally does everything with DD. But we have never conformed to gender stereotypes in our relationship.

Yes, to letting DD decide if she wants her ears pierced. I wouldn't feel comfortable choosing that for her, but then again I wouldn't have circumcised either if DD had been a boy for this reason as well.

My UO: I think it's silly that our society obsesses about baby statistics. Why is it not enough that they are healthy and thriving. No wonder we always have such body issues, we literally obsess about weight from the second we are born. Some babies are small, some are big, if they're healthy, what does it matter?

[creepyeyeball]

Jul 14, 2016 18:55:05 GMT -5 lovemyk said:

Jul 14, 2016 18:24:22 GMT -5 @unicornofthesea said:

I don't think H gave DS1 a bath until he was around 6 months. He hasn't bathed this baby at all (not that he really gets bathed that often yet.) I don't mind it, but i also don't get how he's ok with missing out on moments like that that he won't get back. Whatevs.

Bath time for the kids is not my favorite time, so I kind of get it

Bath time and teeth brushing are my personal hell. DH, thankfully, has taken over the teeth for now.

[creepyeyeball]

Jul 14, 2016 20:11:32 GMT -5 jags8 said:

UO: it should be normal/accepted/expected that men also shave their armpit hair.

I think it should be accepted that no one shave anything unless they want to. I only shave my armpits because DH likes it that way, but I haven't shaved anything else on my body in years. (I don't wear bathing suits and only wear ankle length skirts, so nothing else shows).

I actually get really worked up about the shaving thing. I am the furthest thing from a feminist in so many ways, but I would be the first to burn my bra and razor.

[wineallthetime]

Jul 15, 2016 7:29:16 GMT -5 creepyeyeball said:

Jul 14, 2016 20:11:32 GMT -5 jags8 said:

UO: it should be normal/accepted/expected that men also shave their armpit hair.

I think it should be accepted that no one shave anything unless they want to. I only shave my armpits because DH likes it that way, but I haven't shaved anything else on my body in years. (I don't wear bathing suits and only wear ankle length skirts, so nothing else shows).

I actually get really worked up about the shaving thing. I am the furthest thing from a feminist in so many ways, but I would be the first to burn my bra and razor.

Interesting. I hate shaving and am all about people doing what they want to do with their body hair, but I HATE the feeling of hair on my legs. I can't imagine not shaving it.

[jags8]

Jul 15, 2016 7:29:16 GMT -5 creepyeyeball said:

Jul 14, 2016 20:11:32 GMT -5 jags8 said:

UO: it should be normal/accepted/expected that men also shave their armpit hair.

I think it should be accepted that no one shave anything unless they want to. I only shave my armpits because DH likes it that way, but I haven't shaved anything else on my body in years. (I don't wear bathing suits and only wear ankle length skirts, so nothing else shows).

I actually get really worked up about the shaving thing. I am the furthest thing from a feminist in so many ways, but I would be the first to burn my bra and razor.

You're the furthest thing from a feminist? So you don't think men and women are equal and should be treated equally?

[creepyeyeball]

Jul 15, 2016 7:41:43 GMT -5 jags8 said:

Jul 15, 2016 7:29:16 GMT -5 creepyeyeball said:

I think it should be accepted that no one shave anything unless they want to. I only shave my armpits because DH likes it that way, but I haven't shaved anything else on my body in years. (I don't wear bathing suits and only wear ankle length skirts, so nothing else shows).

I actually get really worked up about the shaving thing. I am the furthest thing from a feminist in so many ways, but I would be the first to burn my bra and razor.

You're the furthest thing from a feminist? So you don't think men and women are equal and should be treated equally?

I should clarify that I just don't relate to a lot of feminists. I believe in Biblical femininity, where women and men are equal, but created differently and with different strengths.

I've been told by feminists that I am wrong and bad for my opinions, so I just have a hard time identifying with the movement and choose not to label myself as one now.