Socialization - is day care enough?

[sudokufan]

I'm probably over thinking this, but I'm a FTM and I was AMA - everyone in my circle had kids long ago, and the few family members who have kids live far away so I have no one to look to as an example, really.  And part of the problem is since Bud is an only child, only grandchild, and we don't associate with other families with kids his age, I'm looking to daycare for his socialization, and we just crash and have family time on the weekends. 

He goes to DC 5 days a week for 10 hours a day, so the practical side of me says that should be more than enough time spent with other kids.  Mommy worry has just kicked in because he's been getting bit for doing things like sitting on other kids.  What did/do you do with a toddler if you used DC?  Play dates on weekends?  Or consider DC enough?  A coworker has been making "Daycare raising your kid" type comments, so that probably has me second guessing myself when I might not otherwise.  ACK.

[helenahhandbasket]

First, your co- worker is an idiot.

I think if there are a few other similarly aged kids in your DC, you are good. We use an in home, and out of the 6 kids, 4 of them are in the 2.5-3.5 YO range, so DD gets a lot of peer play.

We do playdates when we can, but most of my close friends actually have newborns/ babies under 1 year (I am old, but we have them old where I live).

Sounds like you are doing just fine, mama!

[stellabunny]

Your co-worker needs to shut their mouth.

If your DS gets invitations for parties and play dates, I'd definitely make an effort to take him, but I don't feel like you should worry.

[sudokufan]

Thanks, I needed a reality check. Yeah-he's in a room with 12 or so other 2-ish year olds. That seemed like plenty. But jeez, seems like everyone is questioning our parenting decisions lately. If my mom asks me about starting potty training one more time I'm going to scream So I'm questioning myself, you know?

[BostonKisses]

Team your co-worker's an idiot and needs to STFU.

I think DC is fine, and you don't need to go out of your way for play dates and whatnot. If you get invited and can go, that's totally fine. But it's also ok to just have family time on the weekends and do stuff together.

[allydncr]

I agree that your coworker is an idiot! We occasionally have playdates or see DD's cousins, but most weekends she is hanging out with adults. I would say that hands down she is far more social than my nephew that stayed home for the first 18 months of his life.

DD is also having issues at daycare with hitting/biting, but for the most part I think it is just the age. They still can't vocalize everything they are feeling and get frustrated. I think that would happen with or without extra interaction on the weekends!

[TheEleventhHour]

First, where do you work because I'm going to come slap your co-worker.

Second, I personally think daycare is enough. I wouldn't overthink it at all! People are just dumb!

[graysweater]

Your co-worker is dumb.

My DS has gone to Daycare since he was just over a year old. It was the best thing that we ever did for him.

[ontherock2012]

I agree that your coworker is an ass.
Think of it this way, your LO gets to spend 50 hrs/week with friends. I wish I could.

[gallumbits]

Your coworker sucks.
I think daycare is fine for socialization. We're on team only grandchild too. I do some random rare play dates with second cousins.
Eta: I count the socialization as one of the (many) good things about quality daycare!

[penguin129]

Yep, your coworker should be slapped. How dare she say that to you? Do she have any kids of her own?

I think you are more than ok with your son getting socialization at daycare. I worked in daycare classrooms in the 1 yr old, 2 yr old, and 3 yr old rooms for many years and those kids play with each other all day. I think you can save the weekends for family time. If daycare isn't enough than DD is in bad shape since she just has me at home with her all day.

[namastebiotches]

That sounds a hell of a lot more socialization than my kid ever got at that age.
Your co-worker is an idiot. Daycare is more than enough. He'll be in school soon enough. Geesh

[queenbabee]

Who watches your coworkers kids/kid/imaginary kid that allows her to assume she can say dumbshit...?

[eyenigh]

My son is in daycare all week, pretty much the same hours as yours. Honestly how much more socialization with kids could you ask for? As far as I'm concerned, the weekends are for us as a family. If we have a party or run into kids in the neighborhood, of course we'll go but I make no effort to set up additional play dates just for more socialization (the one exception might be holiday break since daycare closes for 2 weeks and he starts missing the action). I only get him for two full days a week and I want him for myself!

[sudokufan]

Feb 9, 2015 19:32:48 GMT -5 queenbabee said:

Who watches your coworkers kids/kid/imaginary kid that allows her to assume she can say dumbshit...?

Her kid is in her mid twenties with a kid of her own.  That was actually the context the first time she said it, when I was still pregnant and talking about picking a daycare - "I'm so glad <daughter> and <son in law> are doing everything they can to keep <grandson> out of daycare - we don't want strangers raising him."   Yesterday I made the mistake of telling her my mom was pressuring me to potty train, but I didn't think Buddy is ready and planned to talk to our DCP - coworker can't fathom why our DCP would have any input of any kind, they should just do what they're told and not offer opinions.

Oh well, I've just added anything related to childcare/rearing to the list of things I don't talk with her about (health care, food, science, religion).

[sudokufan]

Feb 9, 2015 17:20:59 GMT -5 graysweater said:

Your co-worker is dumb.

My DS has gone to Daycare since he was just over a year old. It was the best thing that we ever did for him.

That's how I usually feel about it :-D  Bud loves it there - this morning he was wearing a new Buzz Lightyear shirt and was SO excited to show it off to the teacher.  They have him on such a good routine too, I almost feel bad on weekends because I can't stick to their schedule.

[Deleted]

Feb 10, 2015 8:00:44 GMT -5 sudokufan said:

Feb 9, 2015 19:32:48 GMT -5 queenbabee said:

Who watches your coworkers kids/kid/imaginary kid that allows her to assume she can say dumbshit...?

Her kid is in her mid twenties with a kid of her own.  That was actually the context the first time she said it, when I was still pregnant and talking about picking a daycare - "I'm so glad <daughter> and <son in law> are doing everything they can to keep <grandson> out of daycare - we don't want strangers raising him."   Yesterday I made the mistake of telling her my mom was pressuring me to potty train, but I didn't think Buddy is ready and planned to talk to our DCP - coworker can't fathom why our DCP would have any input of any kind, they should just do what they're told and not offer opinions.

Oh well, I've just added anything related to childcare/rearing to the list of things I don't talk with her about (health care, food, science, religion).

Like everyone else I think your coworker is a twat. What is wrong with letting other people decoder what is right for theorie family.
On the bright side, sounds like you'll be getting a lot of work doen, with all those topics she's not fit to discuss.

[helenahhandbasket]

Feb 9, 2015 16:14:08 GMT -5 sudokufan said:

Thanks, I needed a reality check. Yeah-he's in a room with 12 or so other 2-ish year olds. That seemed like plenty. But jeez, seems like everyone is questioning our parenting decisions lately. If my mom asks me about starting potty training one more time I'm going to scream So I'm questioning myself, you know?

My 3 year old is still not PT.  She's only slightly interested.  Her Pedi says not to push, so although we have been sitting on the potty daily, I don't "make" her pee on it or anything.

[eyenigh]

Feb 10, 2015 9:24:53 GMT -5 helenahhandbasket said:

Feb 9, 2015 16:14:08 GMT -5 sudokufan said:

Thanks, I needed a reality check. Yeah-he's in a room with 12 or so other 2-ish year olds. That seemed like plenty. But jeez, seems like everyone is questioning our parenting decisions lately. If my mom asks me about starting potty training one more time I'm going to scream So I'm questioning myself, you know?

My 3 year old is still not PT.  She's only slightly interested.  Her Pedi says not to push, so although we have been sitting on the potty daily, I don't "make" her pee on it or anything.

I have major deja vu with this so I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself but, yes, my mom can shut up, too. Every time I talk to her and the subject even has a chance of coming up, she comes blasting in with "You know, you were trained at 18 months." The last time I finally broke and said, "Look, what are you trying to say? What do you think that you did that I'm not doing? He just does.not.care. He is not me so please stop comparing him." Her answer is always "Well, I'm just saying...," which is somehow even more infuriating.

FWIW (and a bit of an AW, I guess), my son is also almost 3 and in just the last week, we've been seeing some progress. He doesn't go on his own but he's been very good about getting on the potty and going if we get him on there once an hour. To me, it's a good first step and definite progress so I'll take it. He had been doing well in October but had to have surgery and we lost all the original progress so I feel like we're starting all over again.