Independent Toddlers

[gratefulgirl]

DD1 does not have much of an independent streak. I mean, she meets milestones for doing stuff herself, but she is fairly indifferent if she does it herself or if you do. This has downsides, but it has had one major upside - I never had the "I do it myself!" battles.

DD2 is her own little kid, of course. That means that dressing her (for the day or in PJs) is now an epic battle. She grabs her clothes. She gets her shirt over her head after a struggle. She declares "arms" and attempts to get her arms in but does not. She tries for a while, then wanders off to play chase or some other game. Managing to pin her down and actually put a full outfit or set of PJs on is pretty miserable for everyone involved. Unfortunately playing with just a half on shirt all day is not really an option - oh and she doesn't like getting undressed either.

How do I encourage the independence while still managing to get out of the house/get my kid to bed on time?

[oldbaylover1024]

Does the independence have anything to do with what she's wearing? With J, we found that she did better when she picked out her outfits, PJs, etc. If we made the decision for her, she'd fight us hard.

I also gave her easy options - like a pull-over dress instead of shorts and a t-shirt - if she was having a testy day. Or a sleeveless shirt instead of a long-sleeved one for bed time (it was easier for her to find arm holes instead of working her way into sleeves).

I will say that around 2, a little after, she became much better at dressing herself, which made things a whole lot easier.

Of course I described J as a tiger in a past life in the Toddler/Big Kid Check-In, so take my advice with a grain of salt LOL

[oldbaylover1024]

Oh, I'm also the mom with a kid in a tie-dye skirt, an Elsa tank top, and rain boots at the grocery store. But she's happy!

[gratefulgirl]

oldbaylover1024 unfortunately picking clothes seems to make no difference. Yesterday she got the blue shirt and pink shorts as requested (her twin favorite colors), but she wanted to get them on herself.

Her arms ability extends to reaching her arm out the neck hole at the moment...we're not advanced at all.

[meagpt22]

gratefulgirl just today I told DH that every time I dress or change DD I'm so frustrated! We're on vacation and therefore no changing table so it's game to run away from me.
Outside of dressing she wants to do everything herself. I have to phrase "Can I help you?" in such a way to not cause a total meltdown. I've had to learn to step back and let her try it herself and wait for her to ask assistance.