Post by courtshel04 on Feb 9, 2015 20:05:11 GMT -5
Im due Feb 28th with dd#2. Today at lunch my mom asked "If I were successful breastfeeding how long would I breastfeed her?" I said "However long me and her want to." She made a couple comments that really shocked me. First was if she was walking she thought that was too old to be breastfeeding then said if she was old enough to ask for it and/or grab for it she thought that was too old to breastfeed. I never knew she thought this way. I tried to explain that a 6 month old can ask and grab for it and a 1 year old can walk but that didn't mean they didn't need to breastfeed. She said that with her generation breastfeeding was less acceptable as it is in this generation which I understand. With dd#1 I exclusively pumped for almost a year and she was always encouraging and supportive but now I am so shocked she feels or thinks this way. I need advice on what to say to her to help her understand how I feel.
It depends on who I am talking to - but if it were my mother spouting off comments like that I would be more inclined to give facts. The WHO recommends 2 years to get maximum benefits.
Then depending on her response I would either back off and do as I pleased, or get defensive and let her know it's your body your choice.
Most of my friends tell me that they think it's weird I still nurse my son. I light hearted respond that I don't actually care. The conversation is usually over.
Be firm, do what is best for you and your baby. Everyone else can kick rocks.
My mom and MIL made a lot of comments about "when you start her on formula..." (I never did) or "When you go back to work and you can't breastfeed..." (huh?) and eventually it became clear to me that it was just a generational difference. In the late 70s/early 80s when DH and I were born there was no accommodation for nursing moms to pump at work and it just wasn't the thing in their social circles. So I just said a lot of things like, "This is what doctors say now, isn't that interesting?" or "Her pediatrician says she's doing great and that breastfeeding is good for her because XYZ." And beyond that I just didn't really try to defend my choices because it's not about what Grandma thinks, right?
Also, I've heard "if they can ask for it, they're too old" a bunch of times, but no one has been able to explain to me why being able to express that you want or need something means your developmentally ready to do without it? I think it's just a line in the sand people point to because extended bf makes some folks uncomfortable.
I would just tell her that it's your body and your baby, so you will decide how long to breastfeed. She should either be supportive or keep her comments to herself.
Post by courtshel04 on Feb 9, 2015 20:31:33 GMT -5
Thanks ladies for all the helpful advice. No its not about what grandma thinks but I'd prefer to be supported rather than questioned. In the end it's about what myself and my daughter want.
Thanks ladies for all the helpful advice. No its not about what grandma thinks but I'd prefer to be supported rather than questioned. In the end it's about what myself and my daughter want.
12.5 months. I've been getting the "when are you stopping, aren't you so glad to be done " comments for at least two months
Wow! I hope we both want to breastfeed as long as my dd#1 had breast milk for which is 19 months but we will see. I admire you for doing it this long and personally think you should continue as long as yall want. I had an aunt breastfeed until my cousin was 6. I think that's too old but that's just my opinion. That's why I asked how old your son was when you said friends thought it was weird you still breastfed your son. To me that's still too young to stop.
I think getting support in a forum like this will help you feel secure in your decision to BF for however long you and LO want. For me knowing the WHO recommended 2 years and many other moms continue to support their children allows me to dismiss many of the comments I receive.
I think getting support in a forum like this will help you feel secure in your decision to BF for however long you and LO want. For me knowing the WHO recommended 2 years and many other moms continue to support their children allows me to dismiss many of the comments I receive.
Thanks! I hope I can be confident in however long we decide to breastfeed and also the support I get here only boosts that confidence.
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