Doughnut Sunday randos

[ruemorgan]

ajacot924 ugh, lots of hugs. Ive been through this with H multiple times. It sucks to get a mood like this, I get it. But somewhere along the line, in their head, the problem shifts from "what can I do to make this better" to "why isnt my wife supportive anymore? Why doesnt she care?" But you do care and you were supportive and day after day their body language broke you down and told you you are useless in the situation until you mentally pull your self away. Because nothing you try helps, so why try and keep being put down in the process? Then suddenly its all your fault.
Honestly H and I only get through it after a yelling match that brings me to tears and he finally gets how he has unintentionally made me feel.
If im totally reading the situation wrong, ignore me. But i hope you guys can work through this. I dont have any solid advice except talk/yell/cry it out how ever you need to. If hes unintentionally making you feel a certain way, you need to voice it to him and make him aware of it because thats where his depressive state started to effect not only himself, but his marriage, and it is teaching his child what is "okay" in a relationship (because theyre not too young to read body language!). How ever youre feeling, you need to tell him. It might not feel like much at first, but he probably doesnt realize how he has contributed to you pulling away from him. Lots of hugs

[rvamama]

ajacot924 I am sorry that you are having a rough time. First, let me say that you can't beat yourself up for protecting yourself from anxiety by not allowing your h's attitude to affect you. My h is a negative nelly as well. He is always so tired from work, so stressed, so this or so that but always in a negative frame of mind. I tell him often to not be be and remind him of the joys he has in life.

It's not good for you to close off from him though. That alone can put a wedge in a marriage. I have a couple suggestions- 1. If you have a white board or chalk board in a common area (kitchen/dining room) write a little message to your h/self each day. No matter how simple! Like I could say to my h "stay hydrated tomorrow", "thanks for your meat smoking skills last night"...or a positive note of an upcoming event "can't wait for our movie date Friday!". Cheesy or not, you're making communication light and joyful
2. Try writing in a notebook for your h. When mine and I were in a rut a few years back, we wrote back and forth. We were angry and not seeing eye to eye and writing let us get it all out on the table!
2. Try and accept your h's negativity. I don't mean succumb to it, but accept your h as he is. I KNOW my h is going to see the negative in most things, but through my positive outlook I am able to shrug him off or tell him how I see it and help him realize he does have things to be thankful and joyful for.

Sorry for the book...it just struck a chord because I have been where you are and its lonely. You've been doing a good job getting yourself healthy and I think you can help your h (and yourself) find joy in life! Also, I find joy in Jesus 😉 He helps us!!

[ruemorgan]

rvamama ahh FX!!!

[ruemorgan]

ajacot924 i love rvamama's first suggestion. Before H left, I always made a point to text him an extra "i love you" or just thank him for something he did the night prior to show him im always thinking about him- no matter how small. Taking the trash out, turning all the lights off in the house before bed, whatever. Something to acknowledge him. A little thanks goes a long way!

[ruemorgan]

Nooooooooo! Not my favorite owl cork!

[ruemorgan]

As if I didnt get burnt enough yesterday, we spent the day in MILs pool. LOTS of sunscreen and the water was very refreshing, but man, i am DONE with summer.
This weekend ive noticed P is mimicking almost everything I say. Very butchered, but hes picking up speech patterns. Like..idk ill say "aw yeah you got the race car?!" And hell be like "aahhh ya guh ray car!"
And today in the pool he kept saying "go get it!" But not in a demanding way. Like he heard us say "go get it" enough times, i think thats what hes thinks is the right thing to say when he gets something for himself. Haha, i think hes going to say phrases before single words identifying things and there will be good period of confusion for everone.

[sjep922]

rvamama fx for your application so hard!!

malvo I totally understand your feels. I'm sorry she's sick, I would probably shed a tear also. Fx she's better tomorrow and your friend can help out!

ajacot924 so many hugs. I agree with what pp have already said.

ruemorgan I'm done with summer too! I told my H no less than 10 times tonight I'm ready for cooler weather. Especially with buying new leggings! Come on winter! (Because ax doesn't have fall and probably won't have cool weather until December ... Ugh).

[xmina4x]

@megaugust10 She looks so adorable with that donut!!!

graciest719 That was not a fun morning I'm sure. I hope that throughout the day she started feeling a bit better.

portuguesemama Hooray for finding money!!! What's this about joining LLR!? I've been MIA and have missed quite a bit it seems!!

babys2015 Glad that you had a great time on your getaway!

malvo lol at the photo, she does look adorable. Also kinda jealous of the sleepy snuggly baby. M is sick too and has moments of wanting to snuggle but mostly he just wants to be left alone in his bouncy chair =/

sjep922 Yay for no puke

ladymike I hope that you got to have your lazy Sunday!

bnizzlebizzle I love Maine! I live so close but haven't been up since before being pregnant. What part of Maine did you goto?

rvamama GL with the application and promotion!


We've been dealing with some sort of sinus virus that's going around. I'm just starting to get over it as M is getting it. He's been struggling with breathing at night and has little appetite. The only thing he really wants to eat is watermelon and cheese, interesting combo right? We've succumbed to jumping into the neighbor's pool almost every day (they know and don't care), it's just so hot that the AC's aren't really cutting it anymore. SO is finishing part of our basement b/c a friend of ours is going to be renting it. So that's been interesting having all the construction sounds going on. Thankfully they're almost done and my house will no longer be quite so noisy anymore.