STM question - older kid acting out

[Deleted]

My biggest problem with Dd1 right now is that she runs up and yells to purposefully distract LO when she is eating. Well, and recently she has started swatting at LO (not quite hitting) and will grab her hand or foot and squeeze just a little too hard. It is frustrating and I know she is jealous and frustrated too but my patience is really wearing thin.

What are you doing with your older kid when they act out? I really do not want to put on the TV. She plays well by herself so long as LO is napping. As soon as LO is awake DD1 "can't" do anything by herself.

Any advice? Anyone else having problems?

[creepyeyeball]

When I had my second they were just 17 months apart. It was hellish. The best way for me to get through nursing sessions was to read a book to the older child. I reserved book reading for that time only, so he looked forward to it and behaved during because he knew of he acted up he wouldn't get his books. Maybe you could try that.

[wineallthetime]

Yes. Yes. Yes. He loves to wake her up when she's sleeping. Will full on hit her, squeeze too hard, yank her toys from her hands, ect. We have taken the firm approach as of lately and take away his lovey or whatever he's playing with at the time for 5 min. If that doesn't work, he goes in time out in his room while we hold the door shut. Seems to be helping a bit. I get sooooo frustrated, so I feel your pain.

[Courtniko]

I wish I had some advice. DD is incapable of doing anything on her own recently, even more so than normal. And everything is an emergency, especially when I am paying attention to DS. It is getting old.

[Deleted]

We just started a chore chart. She can get 5000 pesos if she does everything on it for the week. I told her today that she gets 1 warning but if she strikes out at LO after the warning she looses 1000 pesos immediately. We'll see if that works, she loves money.

[Deleted]

DD1 is 3.5 and will physically get in the way, which is surprisingly effective, or smack my legs if I try to get up and walk away with LO.

Tonight she was in the room with me when I was trying to get LO to sleep and I "set expectations" from the start that if she would be quiet and read her book then she could stay in the room with me. That lasted all of, 5 minutes before she was trying to climb on me and suddenly interested in telling stories about school. I had to call down to get DH to take her out of the room.

[okiemama]

I've been noticing major regression lately with my almost 2 year old. She wants a pacifier and a "blankie" all the time - (NEVER did before he was born, "blankie" wasn't even a thing). Cries for me & DH all day long and gets upset over everything. She loves him so much but I feel like we ruined her emotionally having him so soon. She seems traumatized and it's getting worse with time. It's almost like she's just slowly realizing he isn't leaving and she's not the baby anymore. She is loud in his ear, squeezes his arms and cheeks way too hard. It's tough, because when I get on to her for those things it's like I'm making the emotional part worse. I try to never say "baby needs me right now" or "I can't I have to feed baby" but sometimes it's necessary. I don't know what to do. I was about to google for books about the topic when I stopped by here first.

DS1 never seemed phased by the introduction of DD and they were 2 years apart too. He has started wetting his pants/bed all of a sudden though, so apparently DS2 rocked the boat a little to hard for both of them.

Sigh. Just commiserating, no advice. This mom stuff is hard.

[Deleted]

Jul 28, 2016 19:48:02 GMT -5 okiemama said:

I've been noticing major regression lately with my almost 2 year old. She wants a pacifier and a "blankie" all the time - (NEVER did before he was born, "blankie" wasn't even a thing).

DD1 insists she needs her own Taggie blanket and has asked if she can have one for Christmas. LO is obsessed with her Taggie blanket which actually was DD1s but she never ever liked it!

[craftcrazymama]

DD seems to know when I'm at my most vulnerable, like when I'm feeding or trying to get LO to sleep or stuck with him asleep on me (he won't nap anywhere else) and chooses those times to 'need' me. Of course if I can't help her she then kicks off. It's been impossible for the past week because she's been sick and has genuinely needed me but juggling both has been really hard and I feel like I let her down constantly. Last night she had an epic meltdown and we both ended up in tears!!!

This has definitely all picked up since LO came home and yet at other times she is so adorable and absolutely loving towards him. Like others though she is playing at being baby a lot and uses the dummies she never used as a baby and talks in baby talk.

I'm just crossing fingers it's all another phase and once LO is more independent and on his feet chasing her around she will be better and not feel so pushed aside. It doesn't help that it's all coincided with threenager stage *sigh*