Post by creepyeyeball on Aug 12, 2016 12:51:32 GMT -5
As I mentioned yesterday, my grandpa passed away. I was not close with him. My grandparents live three hours away and my mom, who is very upset, will be there with the rest of her family for the next week. There is no funeral or showing, just a memorial service in September.
I have three sisters, all of whom have decided to make the drive to spend a day with my mom. Two of them are single and childless and one has older children, so is able to get away for a day.
The thiught never occurred to me thst I would need to drive there to be with my mom. I assumed calling her while she is gone and then bringing her food and showering her with love when she gets home would be enough. Am I totally selfish?
Would you go be with your mom sometime this week or would you wait until she got home? Would it change your mind if you had to bring five kids and it was a three hour drive there?
Be honest and tell me if I'm a terrible person for not even thinking this was something I should consider.
I honestly do not know what I would do, and I am sure I would consider going. But also, I have heard that when people lose someone, they get all this initial help, but then a week or 2 later they are just forgotten. That is the hardest part, not that first week or so when everyone is there to keep you company, but later, when you are suddenly alone and have all the time to think about it.
So your idea of showering her with love and affection later on may be the most helpful to her. Right now she has your 3 sisters.
I honestly do not know what I would do, and I am sure I would consider going. But also, I have heard that when people lose someone, they get all this initial help, but then a week or 2 later they are just forgotten. That is the hardest part, not that first week or so when everyone is there to keep you company, but later, when you are suddenly alone and have all the time to think about it.
So your idea of showering her with love and affection later on may be the most helpful to her. Right now she has your 3 sisters.
I know it sounds like I'm justifying not going, but that was sort of my thinking. My two single sisters work full-time and the other sister lives over two hours away. I can spend all day/week with my mom when she gets back and the lids can be a happy distraction.
I wouldn't go right away. That is a long drive with a 4 month old alone... and then add in the other kids? I would hope my mom would be understanding and appreciate your closeness when she gets back.
If all of your sisters are able to be with her now, let them. Then you help love on her when she returns. You have five kids. That's a lot to have to deal with.
I agree with everyone. I don't think it's necessary for you to make that lengthy trip when you have 5 young children. Your mom will appreciate your company when she back.
Post by creepyeyeball on Aug 12, 2016 14:44:52 GMT -5
You guys are making me feel better. I just worried that by being the only sister not there it would send a message to my mom. I just need to be honest with my mom. I hope she'll understand. You just never know in my family. Too many women. Too many emotions and judgments.
I agree that you should be honest with her. Let her know what your intentions are, that way there isn't any room for speculation. As you say, you not being there will send a message and by being honest you get to decide what that message is.
That being said I agree that you shouldn't feel obligated to go, especially if your sisters are there. Maybe you can be sure to do something nice for her while she's gone or as soon as she gets back, perhaps a chore you know she would be happy to have off her plate or a favorite meal and kid crafts to welcome her home.
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