Intro and Seeking Agency Recs

[CurlySu717]

Hi all,

You may recognize me from 3T and IF but I've been taking a break from the forums lately.  Long story short, we have MFI and have pursued IUI with donor sperm and done 4 cycles with no results.  We have 2 more cycles to go (DH's choice) but we are both tired and have agreed not to pursue IVF so we are starting to research adoption.  

We have not ruled out adopting through the state, and I have several friends locally who have done this successfully so I have a good support system there.  DH is leaning towards private domestic adoption and I was wondering if you all would be willing to share about your experiences.  We are in central Texas and will at some point go to Houston for one of IAC's seminars but we don't have that scheduled yet.  

I am wary of religiously-affiliated agencies because I am under the (possibly mistaken) impression that they will require a commitment to raise the child in a certain faith and we are not willing to do that.

Thanks!

[ceejay]

Welcome CurlySu717! I'm not familiar with any agencies in Texas but just wanted to say best of luck as you start the process. I think there are a few people on this board that are from the Texas area, so hopefully they can chime in with some recommendations.

[oneslybookworm]

Welcome!! No advice from me (I'm in Indiana), but we felt the same way regarding religion. I'm Catholic and DH is agnostic, and we had one agency not willing to work with us because DH wasn't affiliated with any church. We ended up going with a smaller agency affiliated with Catholic Charities, but ours doesn't require any religious preference or statement promising to raise the child in the faith.

[pinkie]

Hi and welcome
Hi and welcome!

I would suggest you look into the differences between a large national and a smaller local agency. There are pros and cons to both. we signed up first with a local agency in NJ and after sitting with no profile showings we joined an agency that worked in 3 states but on the west coast, an agency with more placements.

My analogy is to think of a larger national agency like a huge university and a small local agency like a smaller college. Neither is better than the other. You would have more options and opportunities at a big university but also don't have the same level of personal attention as at a small college.

Some agencies require more money up front and others collect money at placement. Some agencies have a pool of money for EM expenses and others have the APs cover their own situation. You need to think about what makes you comfortable.

Finally my number 1 question is - what's the ratio of waiting families to placements per year. Ideally you want this as close to 1:1 as possible to hope to have a placement in approx 1 year.

It's a very overwhelming and big decision so please ask more questions, many of us have been through it.

[CurlySu717]

Thanks pinkie! The woman I have connected with who has used IAC in the past and is currently listed with them again for Baby #2 said their ratios are currently very, very high and they have a lot of pissed off clients. She has been waiting 18 months with no activity whatsoever. Your questions will give us a good jumping off point for looking at other agencies!!