*TRIGGER WARNING* Friend's loss

[MoreThanSparrows]

Hi ladies,

I just found out that a fellow loss mom (3 previous miscarriages), who has a rainbow baby (micro-preemie at 24 weeks), just lost her 2nd rainbow baby at 20 weeks.  Went in for their 20 week scan and there was no more heartbeat.  She delivered him on Friday.  I can't even begin to imagine what they're going through.  

I haven't experienced a loss at this stage of pregnancy, so I'm not sure what to do for her, her husband, and her son.  

I have sent her a text to let her know I am devastated for them, but I don't know if I should do something else, or just leave it and let them grieve.

[sarcaztic10]

I am so sorry for your friends loss. Letting her know that you are there for get is important. You could bring over a meal or two for them or do something like a box with fuzzy socks and other comforting items for her.

[agpjt413]

I'm so sorry for your friend's loss ((hugs)) MoreThanSparrows. I agree - letting them know that you're there for them is huge. Comforting items and food is always good to give/offer. Keeping your friend & her family in my thoughts.

[eliz77]

I am so sorry for your friend's loss. I think everyone is different in what they need following a tragedy like this. How close are you with her? Personally, I think what you have done, reaching out and acknowledging her loss is the right 1st step. Following her lead comes next. Dropping off a meal like a lasagna or something is also helpful. It's so thoughtful of you to want to do more.

[MoreThanSparrows]

Sept 7, 2016 14:05:49 GMT -5 @enchanted said:

Maybe send a care package with coloring books and small age appropriate toys for her rainbow along with some chocolate and bubble bath for her.

If you know the baby's name, use it in conversations when it comes up. Remember the baby's "birthday" and reach out next year to let her know the baby isn't forgotten by everyone.

Do you live close enough that you could offer to make dinner for them or take their rainbow for a few hours so she can have a little time to herself?

We're pretty close, and I was one of the first people she told when she found out she was expecting again.  I don't live in the same city as her, but I make a trip there a few times a month, so I'll probably plan to drop off a meal and a small gift for her (I was thinking about a remembrance gift from Etsy) sometime this month.  Her rainbow is about the same age as my youngest, but I don't know what all he's into - since he was a micro preemie, he's got some developmental delays, so I'm not sure what to get for him.  

Thanks so much for your input, and I'm so sorry for your loss.