September check in?

[kammycow]

Hi everyone! I'm so enjoying the cooler weather. I love fall! I'm looking forward to lots of baking and getting out sweaters and boots. Also, pretty much pumpkin everything!

QOTM:Do you like fall? What is your favorite thing about it?

[shandorfml2]

Hey, thanks for the check in kammycow,

I am also looking forward to sweaters, pumpkins and crisp air. I love the weather and leaves most of all.

We are hoping to take our foster/adoptive parent class this fall. I *think* DHS has received all our references and letters from our doctors.

We just found out we are pregnant with our second rainbow. Our goal is to be approved for adoption by the time this child is born. This will be our last biological child, as pregnancy is scary for me. Then, we will look at adopting when we are ready!

[kammycow]

We are almost done with HS and our classes. We were given an emergency certificate and have 4 Foster kids right now. 2 are for sure going back to mom soon, 1 is in process of an ICPC to be RU with bio dad in AZ. The last one, girl age 4,is most likely staying with me long term. It has been an experience! Good luck with your pregnancy. I understand scary... Anyway,have a good time with your classes. Thanks for checking in. This forum is pretty quiet and I hope that changes! 😂

[fosteringaprincess]

Hi! I have been a lurker for awhile. We have had one foster care placement of a girl since birth. We just adopted her! We are so excited and grateful that the system worked for her and protected her! Although it was a crazy long road!

I love when fall comes and the weather cools off. Love when the leaves change colors! Love when it's chilly in the am and perfect outdoor weather all afternoon! Love eating chilli!

[kammycow]

Congratulations! If you don't mind sharing, how long was your adoption journey? I'm wondering how long this little girl I am fostering will have to wait... 😕

[ceejay]

kammycow - thanks for starting this month's check-in! Good luck finishing up your classes and home study.

shandorfml2 - Congrats on your pregnancy!

fosteringaprincess - Congrats on your adoption!


We are doing well and have had our foster sons for just over a year. We had been somewhat misinformed previously and thought that there might be some progress on their case at the next court date in a few weeks, since they haven't had a visit in over 6 months and their bio parents have made almost no progress on their case plan. However, we are now learning just how slow things move in our state and how many chances the bio parents will get. We spoke with our boys' GAL and learned that they wouldn't seek a goal change for the boys for at least 6-9 more months (goal is currently still reunification). This was pretty disappointing for us, but there's nothing we can do about it. Just more waiting and trying not to get our hopes up.

The boys are both doing well. Our baby FS is not really a baby anymore and is walking all over the place and talking a little! Our older FS is starting in the preschool room at daycare in a few weeks... it's hard to believe how quickly they are growing!

QOTM: I love fall! It's my favorite season by far. I love the flavors (pumpkin, apple, spices), the cooler weather, and the leaves changing color. I'm also looking forward to trick-or-treating with our boys this year. Last year it was pouring rain on Halloween so we didn't get to go. Hoping for good weather this year so both boys can enjoy it!

[spooko]

ceejay, I'm sorry. The foster system is indeed slow and nothing short of a rollercoaster. Would they consider adding a secondary goal of adoption even if they aren't going to change from reunification right now? We had concurrent goals of reunification and adoption for a significant portion of our journey. Not to say that it'll actually progress things any faster, but at least it is a small step.

shandorfml2, fosteringaprincess, Congrats all around!

kammycow, 4 kids! Wowza. I hope everything turns out for the best in each of their situations!

[spooko]

I do enjoy fall, even though I struggle with the weather change and lack of sun. We've already hit up the orchard once and have plans for a second (and third?) stop. I've sampled the new Starbucks seasonal. I've got my boots and scarf on today. 2 games into the soccer season for DS. Yep, fall is here!

We are done having kids so nothing really to report that way, but as far as adoption related goes, I have a phone call with a researcher from a state college around here at the end of the month. They're doing a study and reached out into the adoption community, so I signed up. I don't know what they are planning to ask, but the call is supposed to be 90 minutes! I'm excited. I hope I remember everything they're going to want to know about, though. It's all become a blur.

[kj1013]

We are still waiting for our home study report to go to dfps but are hoping to get our first placement sometime in October.

I do love fall but since we moved to Texas it is a little non-existant and the high temp for today is supposed to be 98. We are headed to Colorado for the weekend so I am SO excited for that!!

[Deleted]

Hello! We are in the waiting period between TPR and filing an adoption petition for our two littlest foster sons and working on the guardianship paperwork for our oldest one. The state was supposed to have their selection meeting for the two littlest ones last week but it was cancelled the day of because some of the people couldn't make it. So it looks like that will be next month. As you all can imagine, we are so anxious for all of this to get finalized!

[ceejay]

Sept 19, 2016 8:14:49 GMT -5 spooko said:

ceejay , I'm sorry. The foster system is indeed slow and nothing short of a rollercoaster. Would they consider adding a secondary goal of adoption even if they aren't going to change from reunification right now? We had concurrent goals of reunification and adoption for a significant portion of our journey. Not to say that it'll actually progress things any faster, but at least it is a small step.

In our state, most kids in foster care fall into the "concurrent planning" category, where the official goal remains reunification for a while (1-2 years) but the judge, caseworkers, and really everyone involved in the case is making sure (kind of behind the scenes) that there is a secondary permanency option for the kids if the first goal doesn't work out. This secondary (but unofficial) permanency option is almost always adoption by the foster family. We've been asked in all of the last few court dates if we are willing to adopt if the boys cannot return home and of course we always say yes. 

They are apparently very careful in our state not to change the official goal too quickly, because there have been a couple cases in the recent past where the bio family had TPR and came back with a case against the state and ended up getting their kids back after they had already been adopted. Because of those cases, the GAL explained to us that they wait as long as they do to change the goal so that it is a "slam dunk" and there can be no question that it is the right decision.

[spooko]

ceejay, sounds like how our case went. Keep on keeping on

[CurlySu717]

Hi, Friends,

I POAS today (a couple days early but I just couldn't even) and it was negative...will test again Wednesday (Day 14) and Friday (Day 16), but as far as I'm concerned, I am DONE with treatment and TTC, and I'm thrilled!! I'm sure there will be a grief backlash at some point, but right now, I'm so excited that I don't have to have any more ultrasounds, any more hormones, any more anythings!! I may have to see that wretched doctor one more time to get our letter for the agencies that require proof of infertility, but I will be able to keep my freaking pants on for that appointment, so whatever. I see my PCP Thursday to restart my Wellbutrin; I start my Beach Body 21-Day Fix September 26; and we're hopefully going on a cruise at the end of October!!

I'm still researching, which will be an ongoing project over the next few months. DH and I anticipate picking a method (state foster-to-adopt vs domestic agency adoption) and an agency (in Texas, the state uses agencies in addition to CPS) sometime in early spring.

Re: Fall -- Yeah, we don't really have that here in Texas (I'm outside of Austin)...it's still 100 degrees, and the trees usually just turn brown and drop their leaves sometime in November. I grew up in Virginia and I miss seasons. Bonfires and hot cider and sweaters!! I'm a knitter and I can hardly ever wear my hand-knits.

[fosteringaprincess]

Sept 18, 2016 16:09:43 GMT -5 kammycow said:

Congratulations! If you don't mind sharing, how long was your adoption journey? I'm wondering how long this little girl I am fostering will have to wait... 😕

we got our daughter when she left the NICU at 3 weeks old and adopted her at 2 years 2 months old. It was a very long hard road, but worth every second.

[kammycow]

Sept 20, 2016 7:52:14 GMT -5 fosteringaprincess said:

Sept 18, 2016 16:09:43 GMT -5 kammycow said:

Congratulations! If you don't mind sharing, how long was your adoption journey? I'm wondering how long this little girl I am fostering will have to wait... 😕

we got our daughter when she left the NICU at 3 weeks old and adopted her at 2 years 2 months old. It was a very long hard road, but worth every second.

Wow. Long road, but I'm so happy it was worth it! Enjoy the rest of the trip!

[oneslybookworm]

Hey everyone! That's for the check-in kammycow!

Not much going on here. We're 5 months into our wait and just hanging out. We're doing a lot of home remodel stuff to stay busy, and once the basement is finished up, we'll start on nursery furniture.

I had a dream last night that we got matched with an 18-month old girl, I was so thrilled. Maybe it's a sign! Lol.

[roxy]

Thanks kammycow, for the check in. I haven't been around much because my family has been in a really dark place lately. Our AS has been having a terrible time and has been increasingly more and more physically violent. Then I found out that my dog of 13 years had cancer and would need to be put down immediately. Fast forward a month later and we found out that our other dog has a heart murmur. Things in the Roxy household have been wave after wave of crapola.

HOWEVER! I just spent the weekend at a mom's retreat for mothers of adopted children (most of them from foster care and with FASD) and I feel so much better. I think the therapy, meds, and being with people that get it, is really helping me come out on the other side of this tunnel.

I'm looking forward to actually being able to contribute on this bored instead of being such a negative eeyore.

QOTM: I love fall! My favorite thing do to is take long hikes to see the changing leaves.

[kammycow]

This is great! I love hearing everyone's updates and stories! I was hoping for a good response and I got it! I hope this forum takes off and gets going again. It's just what we need. Have a wonderful day everyone! *big smile*

[ceejay]

roxy - I'm sorry things have been so difficult and dark for your family lately. I'm glad you were able to attend that retreat and are starting to see the other side of the tunnel! Hope things continue to improve for you and your family.

[redandblue]

roxy hugs to you and your family. Sorry for the difficult time. So glad to hear your retreat was helpful and sounds like fall is a good season for you to look forward to! Without prying, what do you think sparked the increase in aggression with your DS? (don't answer if too personal)

[redandblue]

Nothing much going on here adoption wise. I have returned to work a couple weeks ago. Things are going great really. DS1 has settled into new routines really well. We are currently having struggles with DS1, but apparently that's what parenting a teenager is all about. Bright side is we won't have to deal with this for another 15 years! Lol!

The only thing that is swirling around adoption wise, is whether we will explore a second adoption. I feel pretty strongly that I want DS2 to grow up with a sibling close in age (and in our home. His half brothers live about 6 hours away). So I'm thinking in the new year we will contact our agency to get the ball rolling again, but probably will want at least two years age difference.

I love fall! My favourite season by far! Cooler to sleep at night, but still nice during the day. Fall outfits are fun! (scarves, blazers, cute boots etc.). I also love anything pumpkin spice!

[roxy]

redandblue, It could really be a lot of things. I know that he was nervous about school ending... He doesn't do well with transitions to being with and that was a pretty big one. As much as my H (home during the summer because school teacher)tried to keep things structured for him, it's just not the same as being in a school setting. Last summer is when we started transitioning him from his beloved FM to our home. I need to read over his paperwork again, but I would suspect that some early childhood trauma also happened in the summer months.

PDQ

[redandblue]

roxy sounds like you guys have some really good insight into what might be happening for him. So many big changes and I'm sure big emotions for him. It's completely understandable how the summer months are challenging, for most kids, but especially our kids who have experienced such major life events and traumas. Big hugs to you guys. I hope getting back to school and routines are helping things settle! And hopefully now that he has experienced a full summer with you guys he will start to feel more confident in his permanence. My soap box lately is how stupid the long summer break is for the whole educational system! Like so much is lost with such a big break. Rant over...

[butlerfan]

So we were going to have our home study on October 27th and then have everything finalized in the next 60 days after that before we could have placements.

Well....yesterday we got a call and they have 2 kids ( a 9 month little girl and a 2 year old little boy) that they need moved to a new foster home. So now we are going to get licensed in the next 2 weeks and have 2 placements.

[roxy]

butlerfan, Wow! How are you feeling? Sounds like quite the whirlwind.

[butlerfan]

Sept 29, 2016 10:51:29 GMT -5 roxy said:

butlerfan , Wow! How are you feeling? Sounds like quite the whirlwind.

Excited, nervous, overwhelmed, Are we sure we can be ready?, Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!, panicking of what we still need to get done, scared, etc.

If it wasn't for the last minute nothing would get done...right?

I mean we have a lot done but yet a lot to do.

We have the child proofing stuff but have to install it-so if we can take an evening we can have that done. I got my answers on fire extinguishers so just need to drive to store to pick up. We need to have the furnace guy look at the furnace so if that could be scheduled that would be great.  We have to get the rest of pictures taken and printed and put in the life book.

We had a 1.5 hour video/training about prudent parenting that we would have to watch and get quizzed on before we could have a placement.  We watched that last night. 

We have to finish the child's room and wash the appropriate size clothing and bring in the age appropriate toys.

ETC.

I think Sunday will be the day we can crank out a lot of the above which will help my overanxious brain. 

[redandblue]

butlerfan that is very exciting!! Sometimes the fast turn around is just what needs to happen! I agree on the last minute being when things get done! I know for us we were so worried about ensuring we had absolutely everything done on the home inspection list. They barely checked. Even when we received our home study approval there were a few things still to do that she reported would be done as needed for placement and we were told our home would be inspected when we were matched. Ya, that didn't happen.

GL with that transition!

[Captain Serious]

I love fall. My favorite thing about it is that it ushers in my most favorite season of all--winter!!!

I will bury this here. We have offered ourselves as an adoptive family for the girl we know who was removed from her adoptive family. (I hope you can follow that) We may have to fight for her, and will, unless we're convinced where she is now is a place where she can heal and thrive. Right now, we're far from convinced.

[redandblue]

Captain Serious GL with your application. It hope it brings her comfort knowing there are good people fighting for her (even if you find out she is in a good placed and therefore not placed with you).

[wesleycrusher]

I know it's October, but I never posted since we had a hearing in August and our next is in November, so we have just been KOKO in the interim. But today I got a call from our county caseworker that our case is moving to the adoption division! We will be assigned a new county caseworker who will help guide us through the termination process- at the hearing in November we are trying to have the goal officially changed to adoption, which the county and the GAL are fully onboard with that plan. I'm trying not to get my hopes up because we're fairly certain we are going in front of a judge that is very pro-parental rights, but things seem like they're on the right track!

Also, 3 days after out next hearing we're leaving for a 2 week vacation, so no matter what happens we have that to look forward to!